Humorous / Possibly Cruel Nicknames

Pacing Mule

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.


I'm sure there's far worse out there. Let's have 'em !

nosey rosie

My username is one. Earned it when the neighbours were having a fight and I was listening up against the wall. my brother shook his head and called me Nosey Rosie... I kind of liked it

Sergeant

I went to primary school with a lad whose parents broke up, which was more unusual in '80s than now. So his nickname became "Daddy Gone" O'Connor.

Which was pretty cruel looking back on it.

Badgermonkey

Friend of mine picked up an antique coal shovel at a party 20 yrs ago, stared at it intensely for 3-4 secs., then put it back down.

He's been known as Lovejoy ever since.

Kersh

From over the years . .

A real ugly guy in work got nicknamed "scream" after the mask in the movie scream.

The best was probably a guy with a stammer called "match of the day" cos the match of the day music (if you sing it) starts with d-d-d-d-

Cruel considering he 1st got the nickname to his face when he was asked to say something and was stuttering . . . in the middle of a shop!

cruiser178

Sergeant wrote: »

I went to primary school with a lad whose parents broke up, which was more unusual in '80s than now. So his nickname became "Daddy Gone" O'Connor.

Which was pretty cruel looking back on it.

Sergeant you owe me one mouth full of bacardi,iv'e heard some nicknames in my time but that beats all

sh1tstirrer

I know of a woman they call Brutus you just need to look at her and you know how she got her nickname.
Another man called the duck because he waddles when he walks.
A man called the gorilla because he grunts a lot.
A man called skippy because he mounted a lot of women (how many of you will figure that one out)
The Rat
The flying saucer
A man who's surname is Foot is called 12 inches
The Bonham
A woman called the wasp because she could sting you

Aishae

i was called Petrol, Diesel and Armadillo - a bit odd for a girl! it all started cos petrol sounds sort of like my name if youre feeling 5 years old,

strangest one ive come across - G spot (poor girls name was Gemma and had an unfortunate story about searching for the male g spot when she was younger)

Pacing Mule

Aishae wrote: »

i was called Petrol, Diesel and Armadillo - a bit odd for a girl! it all started cos petrol sounds sort of like my name if youre feeling 5 years old,

strangest one ive come across - G spot (poor girls name was Gemma and had an unfortunate story about searching for the male g spot when she was younger)

Please elaborate !

brummytom

My dad used to know a very short bloke who drove a metro.


They all called him metronome

round tower huntsman

all my mates call my wife "the bike" dont ask me why................she thinks my mates are sound. they always go out and have the craic.

Aishae

i met her through work several years ago so it was after the fact - never got the full story - she was experimenting with the 'behind the balls spot' thing she read somewhere and it went awry - the lad got hurt and apread around the story and 'beware of the G Spot' but i dont know how he got hurt or what she must have been using to hurt him but the imagination has run up some mad imagery. they were teens at the time.

round tower huntsman

at least she was willing to give the auld smelly finger a go............most girls wont touch it with a ****ty stick......pardon the pun!

davyjose

round tower huntsman wrote: »

touch it with a ****ty stick

Username+post =

Grasshoppa

His name's Gary, and he's baldy.

Garibaldi.

Hyperbullet

Place I used to work used to have a regular customer who was a fat ignorant b*stard who groped half the female staff. Gained the nickname Yorkie. Big, thick, and not for girls.

SRFC90

A lad i knew from ages back had one leg slightly shorter than the other, some wierd thingy anyway.

'The clock' seemed the obvious choice.

Absurdum

we used to call a lad in school "Fa" because he had big ears and a big head - he resembled the F.A. Cup

Baalbec

I knew a lad with a nose on the larger size that people called "Mozam"...

Mozam-beak.

Badgermonkey

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Place I used to work used to have a regular customer who was a fat ignorant b*stard who groped half the female staff. Gained the nickname Yorkie. Big, thick, and not for girls.

Dail bar right?

Ricardo G

Our teacher was called Mr Bates
hence the reason for callling him "Master Bates"

BickNarry

Friend of mine knows a guy who had cancer,his name was Joe. Its now Cancer Joe.

A hooker up the road is ****in huge and is always walking round offering her services to the cars stuck in traffic. Known as Red Diesel.

I've a small head. Of course everyone,including teachers, called me peanut/seargent KP/colonal K.P etc. till I lost a load of weight and made it barely noticable.

One of the lads called me a peado on the way to school for no reason. Known as ''peado'' for a long while.

Ricardo G

BickNarry wrote: »

Friend of mine knows a guy who had cancer,his name was Joe. Its now Cancer Joe.

A hooker up the road is ****in huge and is always walking round offering her services to the cars stuck in traffic. Known as Red Diesel.

I've a small head. Of course everyone,including teachers, called me peanut/seargent KP/colonal K.P etc. till I lost a load of weight and made it barely noticable.

One of the lads called me a peado on the way to school for no reason. Known as ''peado'' for a long while.

I think you should be known as "SICK FCUK"

Im Only 71Kg

guy in my class was called "two dads" because his mother had very short hair and she wore a silver bomber jacket..made her look masculine from a distance. its still dead funny.:)

AskMyChocolate

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

Tom Slick

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.

No you didn't, you just made it up (or heard/read about it), wanker!

Mod note: User banned for this comment.

Im Only 71Kg

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

knew a fidgety phil too years back.

dubtom

I call a fella I know Churchill,because you can't believe a thing he says.

Superbus

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

You must be kidding aren't you.

How so Joe

Friend of mine nicknamed my then-boyfriend McDreary.
Caught on until all my friends were calling him that.

BickNarry

Ricardo G wrote: »

I think you should be known as "SICK FCUK"

Whys that then?

citizen_p

guy in my class was known as "piss head"
because he drank piss on a night out, didnt even notice until it was pointed out to him, it was hilarious watching him carry around and sipping half a bottle of piss for 20 minutes, recently changed to "Bear Grylls".


another was repeatdly called "daz", because he tried to give himself a nickname when he was younger, it didnt stick and then one day we remembered how he used to always call himself it and how sad it was.
you might think his plan finaly worked but he now hates it with a passion.

another who was hated by the whole year was called a vast mix of names, "pikey"....a load of surnames because his mother was a bike and was married several times, and once or twice to settled travelling men. pikey was the common one but it changed from month to month



"Head", he had a huge head.

lolie

knew a young fella years ago with a big white patch on his his head so he got the name piebald. tried to dye it but it came out green, got serious slagging for it. poor gobsh1te

niallo76

a guy where i work has the nickname Dicky Do-
he has a fair ol beer belly on him and so one day someone remarked that
'his belly sticks out more than his dickie do...(in best blaa accent)

also another guy called Rocky Dennis because of his huge head

Amber Lamps

used to work with a guy in a factory who was a bit dim, he was called Bungalow.

there was nothing upstairs

yoursaviour1989

Got called 'Chemo' for a while in school because I came in with a 2 blade all over and one of the lads said 'ha you've got leukemia, I'm gonna call you Chemo'. I laughed. Terrible to think that we all did really.

ham_n_mustard

"Shaky" had a bit of a twitch
"John Fashion" had what looked like a cat-skin jacket
"Parallax" was so skinny we weren't really sure where he was at any given time

steve_

A lad in college got the nickname "cancer fist" only ever got in one fight in his life and the poor chap he did fight with died of cancer. Couldnt believe it when i heard it

A_Border_Bandit

My Da and his best friend (this man is now my uncle) were apparently good craic when they were younger, always out and about and regular lads. They'd slag each other and everyone else in the bar and stuff like that but my uncle was relentless once he got started, he'd keep at you and at you and at you!
So my now 50 year old uncle is known as "aids" around my town because you can't get rid of him!

Dangerous Man

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Friend of mine picked up an antique coal shovel at a party 20 yrs ago, stared at it intensely for 3-4 secs., then put it back down.

He's been known as Lovejoy ever since.

That is fantastic. I burst out laughing at that. :D:D:D

seafood dunleavy

Knew a lad in primary school nicknamed black.No idea why because he wasn't black.Funny though.

Ronin247

Lad at work with big ears.........Wingnut

Lads father who has a limp.......squarewheel

Young one who's sister was quite promiscuous and known as the town bike.......The tricycle

stateofflux

girl in school called nella singe .....which became 'smella minge' ....genius

kieran26

a rather rotund gentleman i used to work on the sites with he was known as 'roundy'

Aoifey!

I guy I knew used was always scared he'd get in trouble and he always looked a bit yellow so he got the nickname "chicken". Turned out he had a hole in his heart and that's why he was yellow...they still call him chicken though!

Same guy used to be called "Pain in the face" cause when ya saw ya'd get a pain in your face lookin' at him. Not that he was particularly ugly, just annoying.

Larianne

Boy in primary school smelled. So Martin Murray became Fartin Curry.

Corkboi

Knew a fella in school when we were kids and he had a huge head, we used to call him "Man Head" .....

Animal_

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.


I'm sure there's far worse out there. Let's have 'em !

Christ I know a lad this happened to aswell, nasty luck...

Mammanabammana

Girl in college got herself a bit of a rep for her great love of slobbering the johnson, earning herself the rather unfortunate nickname (not to her face) B.J. Baracus.

Turtyturd

A bloke in my class who had a bad hairline for a teenager was constantly referred to as Mister Morehead (more head than hair) by our history teacher...wouldn't get that nowadays.

Glenster

We called a ginger from Kerry whose eyes were too far apart "Mongui".

In retrospect it was a missed opportunity.