So I lost my job today.

listermint · 17-01-2011 04:20PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

The Town, you say... Affleck was da bomb in Phantoms, yo!

You've not seen the town i gather...

bhovaspack · 17-01-2011 04:23PM

Sorry to hear it. Obviously I know nothing of your circumstances, but here are some general tips from my time unemployed.

1. If you do go on the dole, treat job hunting as a job itself, with a fixed number of hours per day. Use the rest of your free time wisely. It could be a great opportunity to develop new interests or skills.

2. Keep routines and regular, daytime hours. Dress reasonably respectably every day.

3. You never know who you might bump into or be introduced to. Try not to use lack of money as an excuse not to take up social invitations.

4. Mention your situation and job requirements to others as often as possible. They might know of vacancies, or mention you to their friends who know of an opening, or hear of one from other people in passing, and remember you.

5. Try not to be too disheartened by statistics and the fact that there aren't many jobs available. You're not looking for many jobs, just one.

5. Good luck!

gbee · 17-01-2011 04:24PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

Have one month left in this place before I become a statistic.

I'd say you've nothing to complain about. You'll get your redundancy package I presume no matter how small it'll be thousands, you'll get whatever assistance for a year, and probably a free doctor or medical card and rent allowance.

Jake Rugby Walrus666 · 17-01-2011 04:25PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

Well there are a couple of guys I know who are looking for work now too. I have a Reliant Robin. Will that be adequate?

I can provide a better car. Doing a bank job, you have to be professional and prepared

http://0.tqn.com/d/worldfilm/1/0/C/_/5.jpg

Shryke · 17-01-2011 04:25PM

Tough luck man. All the best with things.

ejmaztec · 17-01-2011 04:25PM

OutlawPete wrote: »

I was thinking about robbing a bank, you can be my getaway driver if you like

It wouldn't be a crime now, it would just be getting your own back.

some_dose · 17-01-2011 04:26PM

And the funny thing is OP that I went in for an interview this morning and came away earlier after completing my first shift! Swings and roundabouts and all that jazz.

17-01-2011 04:31PM

Barrington wrote: »

Can I be the quiet guy who turns out to be a homicidal madman and messes up the job?

I'll be the loud one that nobody like, gets killed towards the end of the job, but before I do I show one last sign of humanity.

listermint · 17-01-2011 04:31PM

So how many have we got on the job now?

5 max is all we can accomodate, need a good aggressive but level headed driver.

Duggy747 · 17-01-2011 04:39PM

Barrington wrote: »

Can I be the quiet guy who turns out to be a homicidal madman and messes up the job?

You'll probably need a computer nerd who'll hack into bank's system which will more than likely have the most advanced system ever seen.............which will take me only a minute extra to crack.

Plus I'll provide the "comedy" with my oh-so witty puns and quips............I'll probably get shot by one of you double-crossers at the end of the job but if I can win over the audience then it'll be worth it.

...................................

Wait, what are we talking about again?

rcdk1 · 17-01-2011 04:39PM

ejmaztec wrote: »

It wouldn't be a crime now, it would just be getting your own back.

No, Father ejmaztec. 'Tis my money. I just didn't want to fill out the forms.…

Sanjuro · 17-01-2011 04:40PM

bungler wrote: »

There's only one thing for it, you have to grow a beard while your unemployed

I'll have to shave off my employment beard, so.

You've not seen the town i gather...

I have. Wasn't too impressed by it. Although the thought of dressing up as a nun fills me with a strange, not entirely unwelcome feeling.

maxwell smart · 17-01-2011 04:42PM

bonerm wrote: »

OP, think of it as an opportunity to see a bit of the world.

Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"? They call it 'Crisatunity.'

Them Chinese are terrible at English. I suppose they use the same word for "****" as they do for "marathon", and call it a "wankathon".

getz · 17-01-2011 04:46PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

Have one month left in this place before I become a statistic. What shall I do to take my mind off things? I'm not above fapping my troubles away, and not beyond killing. Any suggestions gratefully appreciated!

after the sixth time it gets easy,mark it down as fate,get over to england[the north part] and in three months time,you will be saying, what was all that about

stovelid · 17-01-2011 04:47PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

What shall I do to take my mind off things?

Develop a thick skin as a multiitude of hurtful and imbecilic generalizations gently waft your way courtesy of a load of soft kids still living with Mummy and Daddy.

Liberalbrehon · 17-01-2011 04:49PM

bhovaspack wrote: »

Sorry to hear it. Obviously I know nothing of your circumstances, but here are some general tips from my time unemployed.

1. If you do go on the dole, treat job hunting as a job itself, with a fixed number of hours per day. Use the rest of your free time wisely. It could be a great opportunity to develop new interests or skills.

2. Keep routines and regular, daytime hours. Dress reasonably respectably every day.

3. You never know who you might bump into or be introduced to. Try not to use lack of money as an excuse not to take up social invitations.

4. Mention your situation and job requirements to others as often as possible. They might know of vacancies, or mention you to their friends who know of an opening, or hear of one from other people in passing, and remember you.

5. Try not to be too disheartened by statistics and the fact that there aren't many jobs available. You're not looking for many jobs, just one.

5. Good luck!

Good advice, also, pay off debts.
Know how you feel and I remember I was as angry as hell, as I had just been hired four weeks earlier, but I composed myself and did as above said. Do think of it as an opportunity. Don't waste your time when on dole, try to be as productive as possible and look to add value to your life. Judge judy doesn't do that. Actually don't watch any tv during day as a rule. Volunteer in a good organisation where you might learn new skills, keep existing ones going, meet new people. You never know where it might lead you. don't waste time in bookies or pub or feel sorry for yourself. Don't be a statistic, be yourself. There's always the French foreign legion! You've only got one run on life. don't waste it sitting around, set some goals and go for them. Best of luck and keep positive. It worked for me.

hal9000 · 17-01-2011 04:52PM

I hear a circus leader position might be available tomorrow or if not in the next 2 months!

xoxyx · 17-01-2011 04:53PM

bonerm wrote: »

OP, think of it as an opportunity to see a bit of the world.

Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"? They call it 'Crisatunity.'

Opporisis.

BBDBB · 17-01-2011 04:59PM

Tough luck OP

stay positive and keep plugging away

_feedback_ · 17-01-2011 05:00PM

Sorry to hear that Sanjuro - don't let it get you down!

smackbunnybaby · 17-01-2011 05:10PM

Firstly, sorry to hear about the job!

But this brings a good opportunity to prank the place.

on the last day or so get in early and unscrew a swivel chair. Pop some shrimp or prawns in and rescrew.

Buy a large fish and put it in the toliet cistern.

They will only discover these well after you are gone and the smell becomes unbearable.

I'm sure there are other pranks.

Trog · 17-01-2011 05:12PM

After considering your problem thoroughly for over 8 seconds, I can safely say that your best bet is to become dependent on several drugs. Start with cannabis, but don't wait too long to give ketamine a go, or it'll go out of fashion too fast. The market has never been better for raving homeless drug addicts.

Trog · 17-01-2011 05:25PM

smackbunnybaby wrote: »

Buy a large fish and put it in the toliet cistern.

Or just a good old fashioned top decker. I would also go with the more elabourate:
1. Buy some rubber duckies.
2. Buy som small-ish dildos (even joke ones).
3. Use fishing line to attach duck to dildo.
4. Insert dildo in toilet, and flush. Rubber ducky should stay nicely afloat.
5. Laugh when people remove innocent rubber ducky to find inappropriate dildo.

You can also just attach the string to one ducky in the mens, no dildo, and create a mystery 'who took the last dildo?' situation in the office.

Fighting Irish · 17-01-2011 05:26PM

smackbunnybaby wrote: »

Firstly, sorry to hear about the job!

But this brings a good opportunity to prank the place.

on the last day or so get in early and unscrew a swivel chair. Pop some shrimp or prawns in and rescrew.

Buy a large fish and put it in the toliet cistern.

They will only discover these well after you are gone and the smell becomes unbearable.

I'm sure there are other pranks.

Companies aren't sacking people for the fun of it, it's not their fault the country is gone to the dogs and they can't afford to keep all employees in their jobs

So I lost my job today.

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