have you ever stole money from your kids xmas cards

dollyk · 16-01-2011 06:31PM #1

MYself and my family wre having a get together a few weeks back.
and it cropped up how much kids get now adays compared to years ago.
my kids are now in their late and middle 20s.
anyhow we all got talking and i said how i used to take some of the money that their aunts, uncles etc from their xmas cards and buy foodstuff and extra presents:for xmas with it,
:eek::eek: my sisters nearly had a stroke, and said they didnt realise, but i had 6 young kids and they didnt need all the money that was sent to them.
my kids laughed it off and said they never remember going without,
but now some of my family wont talk to me...
was i so wrong....

**Timbuk2** · 16-01-2011 06:37PM

To be fair, that is a horrible thing to do. Open a savings account for the kids and encourage saving from an early age instead.

Big Nasty · 16-01-2011 06:38PM

dollyk wrote: »

was i so wrong....

YES!

/thread

Larianne · 16-01-2011 06:38PM

You stole from your own kids!! Shockin.

humberklog · 16-01-2011 06:40PM

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

To be fair, that is a horrible thing to do. Open a savings account for the kids and encourage saving from an early age instead.

Harsh, very harsh. 6 happy kids kept happy is a job well done regardless if hook or by crook. Kids can be overly gifted easily by relations and it's the parents job to moderate that.

phasers · 16-01-2011 06:55PM

My parents would never have done that! They asked me for a "loan" after I opened the card

Once they needed to pay the mortgage so me and my brothers had to empty out our bank accounts and give it to them. Never did get that 100 pounds back...

Stealing it is really wrong though.

Millicent · 16-01-2011 06:58PM

Could you not have asked them to send you the money instead? That would have been a happy medium. I know it's hard when you're struggling but I wouldn't say it was the best decision, as reasonable as it might have seemed at the time.

listermint · 16-01-2011 07:04PM

dollyk wrote: »

MYself and my family wre having a get together a few weeks back.
and it cropped up how much kids get now adays compared to years ago.
my kids are now in their late and middle 20s.
anyhow we all got talking and i said how i used to take some of the money that their aunts, uncles etc from their xmas cards and buy foodstuff and extra presents:for xmas with it,
:eek::eek: my sisters nearly had a stroke, and said they didnt realise, but i had 6 young kids and they didnt need all the money that was sent to them.
my kids laughed it off and said they never remember going without,
but now some of my family wont talk to me...
was i so wrong....

Maybe it wasnt the best idea to tell the people who were sending the money that you took some of it.

Some things are just not meant to be said.

rainbowdrop · 16-01-2011 07:04PM

I would never 'steal' money from my daughter, but I have borrowed money from her if she had money from Christmas or Birthdays. I'd always pay it back to her though........ She's 13 now and is good at saving so half the time she has more money than me:o

Trog · 16-01-2011 07:07PM

It's not really a bad thing to do if you bought food and presents for the kids with it, unless you could have afforded the stuff anyway and therefore benefited from the children's loss.
If you took the cash for yourself it's proper wrong.

Still is a bit unusual, maybe it would be less odd if you took the kids with you to buy the stuff and told them that they were buying it. Like, 'which toy do you want out of this one and this one', or 'now you get to do what mammy/daddy does and buy the messages'. The you wouldn't have to lie to them and they'd get to feel like the got to spend their own money.

But I wouldn't fault you for what you did. And fair play for raising six happy kids. I'd have just raised 5 to be happy and let the other be the runt of the pack...

Coriolanus · 16-01-2011 07:09PM

They're your kids, they should be happy that's the least you did. I'm selling the tractor when I have kids, sure they'll be able to plough and give me piggybacks to the pub.

hondasam · 16-01-2011 07:15PM

dollyk wrote: »

MYself and my family wre having a get together a few weeks back.
and it cropped up how much kids get now adays compared to years ago.
my kids are now in their late and middle 20s.
anyhow we all got talking and i said how i used to take some of the money that their aunts, uncles etc from their xmas cards and buy foodstuff and extra presents:for xmas with it,
:eek::eek: my sisters nearly had a stroke, and said they didnt realise, but i had 6 young kids and they didnt need all the money that was sent to them.
my kids laughed it off and said they never remember going without,
but now some of my family wont talk to me...
was i so wrong....

No you were not wrong, you spent it on them.

Tell your family to grow up and cop on. Im sure the are not perfect.

Trog · 16-01-2011 07:39PM

dollyk wrote: »

but now some of my family wont talk to me...

I'm gonna need some kids and some Christmas cards...

Leiva · 16-01-2011 07:48PM

Its not as if the OP spent the money on cheap beer and loose women .
Bit harsh for some of the family not to be talking .

Keep your mouth shut next time .

punchdrunk · 16-01-2011 07:50PM

hang on...there's normally money in Christmas cards???

MA!!! WTF!!!:mad:

hondasam · 16-01-2011 07:51PM

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

To be fair, that is a horrible thing to do. Open a savings account for the kids and encourage saving from an early age instead.

The OP did say it was over 20 years ago so things were different then. It is not horrible to make better use of the money in a way that is more beneficial to the family.

What is horrible is the way the OP's family are reacting now.

I agree with encouraging saving at an early age.

Trog · 16-01-2011 07:52PM

mixednuts wrote: »

Its not as if the OP spent the money on cheap beer and loose women

You trying to say that'd be wrong? Coke n Hookers please.

djPSB · 16-01-2011 07:54PM

not ur money to use.. totally wrong

TimeToShine · 16-01-2011 07:59PM

Jesus christ everyone's making it sound like he's a criminal, he took 50 quid from his kids, big whoop, it's not like they owe their parents anything in the long run :rolleyes:

Maddison · 16-01-2011 08:03PM

I remember as a child that my parents would 'borrow' some of what money we may have gotten for Christmas/Birthdays etc...I dont ever recall them paying it back. But at the end of the day, they dressed, fed & clothed us so I dont really see It as a big deal.
My own son has a piggy bank that counts the coins and he knows very well how much he has,If I was short some days yes I would borrow from it but I always put it back with 'interest'. At the end of the day Its me that puts the money in!! When it gets to a certain amount we lodge it into his account.

mydearwatson · 16-01-2011 08:05PM

Well of course your siblings are going to be p*ssed off about it.

They made the decision, at the time, to give the money directly to the children and not to give it to you, to do with it as you wished. Perhaps they were aware you were struggling, but wanted their nieces/nephews to have a little treat for themselves.

I know that, with my communion and confirmation money, my parents put it in a savings account. Then, when I was a teenager and wanted to go to the Gaelteacht and on school tours abroad, the money was there for that. My parents were never well off, but they denied themselves a lot in order to ensure that we never missed out on any opportunities as we were growing up. It felt nice, at the time, to feel as though I was "paying my way" a little bit.

Obviously, it's too late saying this to you in retrospect, but it would've been nice to have them aware of the gifts given to them, and then to "allow" them to pay towards a holiday, or a new TV for the family, or a school tour, something like that.

smcgiff · 16-01-2011 08:06PM

Whatever about using the money from the cards to feed your family, but you post on After Hours looking for advice on morality?!?

Don't you know everyone here is beyond reproach :rolleyes:

TimeToShine · 16-01-2011 08:06PM

Also I like how everyone is neglecting the part where he says he used the money for food and additional presents.

vonnie10 · 16-01-2011 10:40PM

I got a birthday card from an uncle one time with 25 pound in it one time that disappeared mysteriously. My mam said my dad might have taken it and my dad said my mam had probably borrowed it !! Never got it back but it doesn't matter considering the thousands they have spent on me over the years between toys clothes, food, school, holidays, 2k for braces, college and even money for nights out on the piss!! I'm 20 now and i'm still drawing out of them. I'd say i've probably cost them close to 100 grand in all, taking a few pound from me here and there to put food in my mouth if times are tight is hardly a crime.

Mrmoe · 16-01-2011 10:50PM

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. Any time I would give money to my nieces or nephews I would hope that it is spent on things they actually need, food, clothes toys etc. If the child has control over it they will probably just waste it. When they are old enough they will start to manage and budget themselves but quite often they are just too young.

Fluorescence · 16-01-2011 10:54PM

Trog wrote: »

IStill is a bit unusual, maybe it would be less odd if you took the kids with you to buy the stuff and told them that they were buying it. Like, 'which toy do you want out of this one and this one', or 'now you get to do what mammy/daddy does and buy the messages'. The you wouldn't have to lie to them and they'd get to feel like the got to spend their own money.

I would have been pissed if my mam and dad got me to "pay" for the messages with my birthday/christmas money when I was a kid (not that I ever got much....HANG ON....).

She used it to buy more stuff for the children. No harm done.

Cheap Thrills! · 16-01-2011 10:57PM

The ones that won't talk to you need a slap in the head.

Kids get what they get and be glad of it. You did your best and the kids grew up happy and healthy.

No-one was harmed. Kids get what possesions their parents see fit, if the family needs it more then that's the end of it!

Greyfox · 16-01-2011 11:05PM

dollyk wrote: »

was i so wrong....

Yes, whatever way you look at it it's still stealing money from your kids which is pretty low

Senna · 16-01-2011 11:10PM

dollyk wrote: »

but now some of my family wont talk to me...

Unfortunately you cant choose your family:D

theg81der · 16-01-2011 11:15PM

Can`t believe anyone would do this! If you can`t afford kids eh...don`t have them pretty simple to me.

Please God may I never see the day when I have to take money of my children (when I can eventually afford to have them)!

This would involve an extremely unlikely scenario, over which I would have no control, -death, destruction, end of our econmic system as we know it etc

AnonoBoy · 16-01-2011 11:15PM

Once when I lived in a house in Carlow birthday cards used to arrive for the people that had presumably lived there before us.

We had no forwarding address for them and the landlord didn't know where they'd gone.

So there was the odd 10 or 20 euro added to my burgeoning alcohol dependency fund every now and then.

I feel no shame for this.

have you ever stole money from your kids xmas cards

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