Feeling shame/guilt after sex

St._Andalou · 14-01-2011 02:39AM #1

Does anyone else get this? After sex I always have feelings of guilt, shame and no desire for intimacy that last about ten minutes then gradually subside.

I mean, I don't start whipping myself because of guilt or read the Bible with tears in my eyes, just a hazy feeling that's hard to describe apart from the words I used above. I was raised Catholic, but I've been non-religious for a number of years. Is it just a residue of Catholic Guilt?

What does everyone else think? Is this a peculiarly Irish problem since sex was so taboo in Irish society up to twenty or thirty years ago?

Nemanja91 · 14-01-2011 02:40AM

Rape does normally make people feel guilty alright!

squod · 14-01-2011 02:40AM

Don't look them in the eye..........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtClhh1MUe4

AlmightyCushion · 14-01-2011 02:41AM

You need to stop fúcking ugly people.

Spunge · 14-01-2011 02:41AM

I hope you got married before you had all that sex.

OpenYourEyes · 14-01-2011 02:41AM

After Sex?
No

But after masturbating?

...no

pagancornflake · 14-01-2011 02:41AM

I feel loads of shame, but that's all.

GLaDOS · 14-01-2011 02:42AM

Usually just sort of sleepy.

Maybe a little thirsty.

ArtSmart · 14-01-2011 02:42AM

St._Andalou wrote: »

Does anyone else get this? After sex I always have feelings of guilt, shame and no desire for intimacy that last about ten minutes then gradually subside.

I mean, I don't start whipping myself because of guilt or read the Bible with tears in my eyes, just a hazy feeling that's hard to describe apart from the words I used above. I was raised Catholic, but I've been non-religious for a number of years. Is it just a residue of Catholic Guilt?

What does everyone else think? Is this a peculiarly Irish problem since sex was so taboo in Irish society up to twenty or thirty years ago?

you've answered yuor own question. plus family influence.

it should subside in a couple of years. if not, seek help.

orourkeda · 14-01-2011 02:42AM

depends on who you've just banged

Mr Benevolent · 14-01-2011 02:43AM

Who the hell feels guilty after sex? Are you: A) Constantly cheating?

Having underage sex? C) Having sex with a priest? D) Having other non-consensual sex?

If no to the above there's no reason to feel guilty. Wait, there is. Are you crap at sex by any chance?

admiralofthefleet · 14-01-2011 02:44AM

after self pollution no. after sex the only thing im thinking about is where is the nearest curtain.....

St._Andalou · 14-01-2011 02:45AM

Confab wrote: »

Who the hell feels guilty after sex? Are you: A) Constantly cheating? Having underage sex? C) Having sex with a priest? D) Having other non-consensual sex?

If no to the above there's no reason to feel guilty. Wait, there is. Are you crap at sex by any chance?

According to the anonymous poll above, 37% of people so far feel guilt.

No, I'm vanilla in my tastes, and I've been told I'm all right in bed.

To clarify: I'm not conservative, or someone who thinks sex is a disgusting act that should be saved for marriage. That's what makes it baffling. I feel it less as I grow older. Maybe it's just a feeling of ennui that comes after casual sex? I was just curious to hear other people's thoughts.

ArtSmart · 14-01-2011 02:46AM

ps, if you're being genuine OP, i suggest you find another forum on boards, like health - and quick!

Mr Benevolent · 14-01-2011 02:47AM

St._Andalou wrote: »

No, I'm vanilla in my tastes, and I've been told I'm all right in bed.

Maybe it's just a feeling of ennui that comes after casual sex?

Are you female by any chance? Women mostly don't find casual sex very fulfilling, with the odd sexception.

Millicent · 14-01-2011 02:47AM

You're not alone OP. The French call the orgasm the "petit mort" or the "little death". I wouldn't now but years ago I would have felt guilty, till I realised there's feckin' nothing to feel guilty about.

LukeS_ · 14-01-2011 02:48AM

It's okay to be ashamed over 'it'. Some people just aren't that well 'balanced'.

Millicent · 14-01-2011 02:49AM

LukeS_ wrote: »

It's okay to be ashamed over 'it'. Some people just aren't that well 'balanced'.

Huh?

St._Andalou · 14-01-2011 02:50AM

ArtSmart wrote: »

ps, if you're being genuine OP, i suggest you find another forum on boards, like health - and quick!

I hardly think feeling a little guilt after sex is reason to start looking up the address of my nearest mental hospital, but thanks for the concern.

af_thefragile · 14-01-2011 02:50AM

Maybe you need a more proper and committed relationship which is not just casual sex.
Like do you feel you're in the relationship just because of sex? If that's the reason it might be why you're feeling the way you do...

Ya know back in the days, when you used to hold hands, sing songs, lie on the grass and all of that sorta crap... "we're gonna be together for eva n eva!!". Yeah, that's probably what you need...

Mr Benevolent · 14-01-2011 02:50AM

LukeS_ wrote: »

It's okay to be ashamed over 'it'. Some people just aren't that well 'balanced'.

That's virgin on the ridiculous.

Kinetic^ · 14-01-2011 02:51AM

St._Andalou wrote: »

Does anyone else get this? After sex I always have feelings of guilt, shame and no desire for intimacy that last about ten minutes then gradually subside.

I mean, I don't start whipping myself because of guilt or read the Bible with tears in my eyes, just a hazy feeling that's hard to describe apart from the words I used above. I was raised Catholic, but I've been non-religious for a number of years. Is it just a residue of Catholic Guilt?

What does everyone else think? Is this a peculiarly Irish problem since sex was so taboo in Irish society up to twenty or thirty years ago?

Stop riding your sister.

dxhound2005 · 14-01-2011 02:51AM

Millicent wrote: »

You're not alone OP. The French call the orgasm the "petit mort" or the "little death". I wouldn't now but years ago I would have felt guilty, till I realised there's feckin' nothing to feel guilty about.

Petit mort followed by tristesse. The French have it all figured out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

admiralofthefleet · 14-01-2011 02:55AM

Millicent wrote: »

You're not alone OP. The French call the orgasm the "petit mort" or the "little death". I wouldn't now but years ago I would have felt guilty, till I realised there's feckin' nothing to feel guilty about.

and the rest of us call AIDS the 'french disease'

Millicent · 14-01-2011 02:55AM

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Petit mort followed by tristesse. The French have it all figured out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

They'd want to -- they seem to have been riding rings round themselves all those years we were worrying about going to hell! :pac:

St._Andalou · 14-01-2011 02:56AM

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Petit mort followed by tristesse. The French have it all figured out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

Hah, that's actually really interesting!

Millicent · 14-01-2011 02:56AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

and the rest of us call AIDS the 'french disease'

Are you being facetious or is that genuine slang?!

admiralofthefleet · 14-01-2011 02:58AM

Millicent wrote: »

Are you being facetious or is that genuine slang?!

genuine, if you read viz

Dudess · 14-01-2011 02:58AM

St._Andalou wrote: »

No, I'm vanilla in my tastes, and I've been told I'm all right in bed.

To clarify: I'm not conservative, or someone who thinks sex is a disgusting act that should be saved for marriage. That's what makes it baffling.

You are vanilla or aren't? Just wondering in case the above was a typo. "Vanilla" is subjective though - what's well adventurous to some is vanilla to others. I wouldn't get concerned about vanilla being a sign of repressed, but the guilt thing: seems a sub-conscious thing you have, brought about by all those influences mentioned above. I'd agree with others that you should talk to someone if it affects you to a degree you're uncomfortable with. Nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about, but sometimes just being told that might be a comfort but not enough to get rid of it. It can't be nice OP - you say it decreases as you get older, hopefully it'll disappear completely.

MagicSean · 14-01-2011 02:59AM

You're doing it wrong.

St._Andalou · 14-01-2011 03:02AM

Dudess wrote: »

You are vanilla or aren't? Just wondering in case the above was a typo. "Vanilla" is subjective though - what's well adventurous to some is vanilla to others.

I meant I'm vanilla in my tastes in bed. And I meant that I'm not severely socially or ethically conservative -- as in, I'm not someone who thinks sex is completely evil or shameful.

Thanks for your thoughtful response, by the way.

Feeling shame/guilt after sex

Do you feel shame or guilt after sex? 17 votes

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