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why should men have to pay child maintenance?????

  • 11-01-2011 03:40AM
    #1
    jesster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭


    I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

    Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

    I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.


«1345

Comments

  • #2
    fedor.2.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,944 ✭✭✭fedor.2.


    What you doing tomorrow night eh?:)


  • #3
    chicken fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 645 ✭✭✭chicken fingers


    troll


  • #4
    scientific1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭scientific1982


    Are you sure you've thought this one through.


  • #5
    mahamageehad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,673 ✭✭✭mahamageehad


    we should really have a rule where you can't start a thread unless you've at least 50 posts.. :/


  • #6
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,102 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    With regards to the unprotected sex, the men are just as responsible. If i was single, and i somehow managed to pull someone, and beyond belief of the gods themselves they came back to mine, and even the devil would die if they suggested they wanted to giggitty giggitty, i would say no if there was no condom. Regardless of pill, i would still use one.

    As for the maintenance, i can see why it's there, but if the father wants to be involved in raising the child then he shouldn't have to pay it as he'll more than likely be buying his own supplies/clothes etc.


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  • #7
    RacoonQueen
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 20,369 Mod ✭✭✭✭RacoonQueen


    Proof that 'Arts' students should not be allowed to have opinions.


  • #8
    fedor.2.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,944 ✭✭✭fedor.2.


    Potential-Monke wrote: »
    With regards to the unprotected sex, the men are just as responsible. If i was single, and i somehow managed to pull someone, and beyond belief of the gods themselves they came back to mine, and even the devil would die if they suggested they wanted to giggitty giggitty, i would say no if there was no condom. Regardless of pill, i would still use one.

    As for the maintenance, i can see why it's there, but if the father wants to be involved in raising the child then he shouldn't have to pay it as he'll more than likely be buying his own supplies/clothes etc.

    Liar:D


  • #9
    Absurdum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,444 ✭✭✭Absurdum


    jesster wrote: »
    I'm a 21yo female

    hello


  • #10
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    jesster wrote: »
    I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

    Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

    I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.


    The should have practised safe sex in the first place ffs.


  • #11
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    If men dont want to have a baby wear a condom. If your partner gets pregnant anyway for what ever reason tough. You had sex, you made a baby now you are responsible for it. Its not rocket science.


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  • #12
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Dare I say,
    Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.


  • #13
    profitius
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,976 ✭✭✭profitius


    jesster wrote: »
    I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

    Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

    I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

    You're correct about the women needing to take responsibility. I also think men have to take responsibility.


  • #14
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,000 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    jesster wrote: »
    I'm a 21yo female whose girlfriend got pregnant and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance. .

    Fixed that for you there


  • #15
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    whatsamsn wrote: »
    Dare I say,
    Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

    Seriously, have you met many


  • #16
    Little Acorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,531 ✭✭✭Little Acorn


    jesster wrote: »
    I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

    Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

    I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

    Why do you not think it's also ridiculous for the men to be having unprotected sex with strangers, why just mention the women?
    They only wouldn't be aware that the woman was not on the pill if they didn't ask or discuss contraception.- In the very unlikely case that the girl lies and says she is, the male still holds some responsibility. I mean, ffs if it's a complete stranger you don't just take their word for it, you use a condom, apart from pregnancy there's also stds.
    Men DO have a choice, they have a choice to use contraception themselves. If it fails, well then that is a risk that they are knowingly taken, and both the man and woman have to take responsibility for accidents.


  • #17
    brendansmith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭brendansmith


    Good point OP, never really thought about it like that before.


  • #18
    Absurdum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,444 ✭✭✭Absurdum


    Little Acorn wrote: »
    Men DO have a choice, they have a choice to use contraception themselves.

    the wise choice is to give her a fake name and phone number


  • #19
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    carfiosaoorl wrote: »
    Seriously, have you met many

    Yes.
    What you havent?


  • #20
    jesster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭jesster


    mahamageehad wrote: »
    we should really have a rule where you can't start a thread unless you've at least 50 posts.. :/
    RacoonQueen wrote: »
    Proof that 'Arts' students should not be allowed to have opinions.

    no need to be pickin on the newbee!!!
    fedor.2. wrote: »
    Liar:D

    Agreed!!!
    hondasam wrote: »
    The should have practised safe sex in the first place ffs.

    But your missing my point.. The women know whet they're doing.
    carfiosaoorl wrote: »
    If men dont want to have a baby wear a condom. If your partner gets pregnant anyway for what ever reason tough. You had sex, you made a baby now you are responsible for it. Its not rocket science.

    We all know that men dont think with their heads in such a situation. They just presume and cross their fingers! It's human nature. Women on the other hand are more inclined to think of the consequences.
    whatsamsn wrote: »
    Dare I say,
    Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

    That's my point. If women want to get pregnant for their house and social welfare, why should the man be trapped into a situation they don't want.
    profitius wrote: »
    You're correct about the women needing to take responsibility. I also think men have to take responsibility.

    As I said, all women know that a man won't say no!

    As for tomorrow night, i'm busy but i have a few friends who wouldn't mind being babbied up at the moment! can send them your way!!!!


  • #21
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    OP The man also knows what he is doing so it really makes no since. IF male or female do not want babies then do not have unprotected sex.


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  • #22
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    Just because (in your opinion) a man can't/won't say no, doesn't mean he can't/won't put on a condom when faced with one of your insane, hormonal, baby obsessed friends.


  • #23
    carwash_2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 568 ✭✭✭carwash_2006


    You know what, if I were a guy I would be incredibly insulted by the insinuation that guys can't/shouldn't be expected to take responsibility for their actions. In reality they should be far more worried about std's than getting a girl pregnant and condoms should be completely habit when faced with one night stands.

    Then again, this is AH, so I shouldn't really be expecting serious answers here :p


  • #24
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    whatsamsn wrote: »
    Yes.
    What you havent?


    No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

    So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career:rolleyes:


  • #25
    jesster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭jesster


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    Just because (in your opinion) a man can't/won't say no, doesn't mean he can't/won't put on a condom when faced with one of your insane, hormonal, baby obsessed friends.

    hahaha!!! i do have some weird friends! However, i do know of a few men who didn't use protection and just assumed. I'm not condoning it but i do think they should have a choice in whether they want a baby or not. The woman has the choice and all the power in the situation! The woman wanted the child, the man didn't. So why should he have to pay? Why can't he be classed as a sperm doner?


  • #26
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    carfiosaoorl wrote: »
    No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

    So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career:rolleyes:

    Well a few things wrong with your post.

    1st off this is what I hate. That a person, me in this situation, cannot state an obvious fact that certain (oh and for the record certain >> some >> a percentage ... all have the same meaning) amount of people do it. Without someone like you (with your opinion) jumping down my throat like I have just tarnished everyone with the same brush :rolleyes:

    If I turned around and said certain people will steal from you in this world ... will you come back with the same "have you met any?" :rolleyes:


  • #27
    carwash_2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 568 ✭✭✭carwash_2006


    But why should they not pay the price for if they are stupid and irresponsible enough to put themselves in that situation? If they can just turn around and say, ah I didn't want it, then you have no consequence. Every stupid behaviour in life should have a potential consequence, that way people might think twice before they act.


  • #28
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    No because if he absolutely didnt want a baby then he would have used what ever protection he needed to use to provent it.:confused:


  • #29
    consultech
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,956 ✭✭✭consultech


    whatsamsn wrote: »
    Dare I say,
    Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

    It's actually not that daring a statement. It's common knowledge. It's no coincidence that the system has been subject to attempted rampant reform here in Ireland. It's a real problem.

    As far as the OP's original point goes; Should've worn a condom etc etc. It's not that simple at all though in reality. There are huge grey areas. What about relationships where a girl forgets her pill etc etc? Still the man's fault presumably yeah? Happens a lot.

    IMO we live under a sh1tty sh1tty system that has swung violently away from unmarried fathers' rights etc., as well as holding men strictly accountable without regard to the mother's character or motives.
    carfiosaoorl wrote: »
    No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

    So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career

    2 words: Rent allowance.

    Very naive if you think unmarried mothers' benefits stop at dole + childrens allowance.


  • #30
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Dont split hairs carfiosaoorl :)
    we're not talking about the old famous saying "takes two to tango" - which I agree. Personally I like how my dad phrased it .... "if you are going to dip your wick, you got to pay for the oil"


    But let me tell you a story. Knew a girl named Donna once. Was mainly friends of friends. But I chatted to her. We both knew each other.
    Anyways Donna got pregnant. Thing was tho she didnt know who the father was. She had sex with more than one guy around the time of impregnation. Yet she was officially saying it was one certain guy. A guy who had a very good degree under his belt and whos family was anything but short. She confided in a friend that there was no way he was the father but seeing as how out of the bunch he had the most best future. She was saying it was his.

    Sadly she had a Miscarriage :( Which despite what she was doing is very sad. But the truth came out in the end that the accused person was not the father and that she simply said it was him because he had the money / future.


    Im curious what do you say to that?


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  • #31
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    I feel like I am speaking to morons, I mean come on to **** are ye stupid. It doesnt matter a damn whether the female doesnt use contraception, whether the man is thinking with his prick whatever. If 2 people have sex and make a baby then both people are responsible for that baby financially and emotionally because while those 2 ****ing morons might be saying "I only wanted to have sex I didnt want a baby" the actual baby doesnt get to say I dont want these morons to be my parents. Grow up!


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