why should men have to pay child maintenance?????

jesster

I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

fedor.2.

What you doing tomorrow night eh?:)

chicken fingers

troll

scientific1982

Are you sure you've thought this one through.

mahamageehad

we should really have a rule where you can't start a thread unless you've at least 50 posts..

Potential-Monke

With regards to the unprotected sex, the men are just as responsible. If i was single, and i somehow managed to pull someone, and beyond belief of the gods themselves they came back to mine, and even the devil would die if they suggested they wanted to giggitty giggitty, i would say no if there was no condom. Regardless of pill, i would still use one.

As for the maintenance, i can see why it's there, but if the father wants to be involved in raising the child then he shouldn't have to pay it as he'll more than likely be buying his own supplies/clothes etc.

RacoonQueen

Proof that 'Arts' students should not be allowed to have opinions.

fedor.2.

Potential-Monke wrote: »

With regards to the unprotected sex, the men are just as responsible. If i was single, and i somehow managed to pull someone, and beyond belief of the gods themselves they came back to mine, and even the devil would die if they suggested they wanted to giggitty giggitty, i would say no if there was no condom. Regardless of pill, i would still use one.

As for the maintenance, i can see why it's there, but if the father wants to be involved in raising the child then he shouldn't have to pay it as he'll more than likely be buying his own supplies/clothes etc.

Liar:D

Absurdum

jesster wrote: »

I'm a 21yo female

hello

hondasam

jesster wrote: »

I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

The should have practised safe sex in the first place ffs.

carfiosaoorl

If men dont want to have a baby wear a condom. If your partner gets pregnant anyway for what ever reason tough. You had sex, you made a baby now you are responsible for it. Its not rocket science.

whatsamsn

Dare I say,
Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

profitius

jesster wrote: »

I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

You're correct about the women needing to take responsibility. I also think men have to take responsibility.

opinion guy

jesster wrote: »

I'm a 21yo female whose girlfriend got pregnant and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance. .

Fixed that for you there

carfiosaoorl

whatsamsn wrote: »

Dare I say,
Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

Seriously, have you met many

Little Acorn

jesster wrote: »

I'm a 21yo female and think that is really ridiculous that so many girls are going out at my age, having a one night stand, unprotected, and getting pregnant. Then, before the baby is even born, they get in contact with the man, who might have not been aware that the woman was not on the pill, demanding child maintenance.

Women have a choice if they want to get pregnant. Men don't. As a result, these men are 60 euro down every week and the women are getting rent allowance and enough money to keep her and a baby going while doing sweet FA for it.

I think the entire system is messed up. I understand if a man and woman are in a relationship, they decide to have a baby and it doesn't work, that he should be responsible financially. But why should a woman be able to trap a man who she doesn't even know? At my age, women should be more independent and responsible. if they want the baby, they should be responsible for it. If not, dont have unprotected. Either way, men should not be forced to pay child maintenance for a child which they didn't want, who is being raised by a mother who the father doesn't even know.

Why do you not think it's also ridiculous for the men to be having unprotected sex with strangers, why just mention the women?
They only wouldn't be aware that the woman was not on the pill if they didn't ask or discuss contraception.- In the very unlikely case that the girl lies and says she is, the male still holds some responsibility. I mean, ffs if it's a complete stranger you don't just take their word for it, you use a condom, apart from pregnancy there's also stds.
Men DO have a choice, they have a choice to use contraception themselves. If it fails, well then that is a risk that they are knowingly taken, and both the man and woman have to take responsibility for accidents.

brendansmith

Good point OP, never really thought about it like that before.

Absurdum

Little Acorn wrote: »

Men DO have a choice, they have a choice to use contraception themselves.

the wise choice is to give her a fake name and phone number

whatsamsn

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

Seriously, have you met many

Yes.
What you havent?

jesster

mahamageehad wrote: »

we should really have a rule where you can't start a thread unless you've at least 50 posts..

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Proof that 'Arts' students should not be allowed to have opinions.

no need to be pickin on the newbee!!!

fedor.2. wrote: »

Liar:D

Agreed!!!

hondasam wrote: »

The should have practised safe sex in the first place ffs.

But your missing my point.. The women know whet they're doing.

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

If men dont want to have a baby wear a condom. If your partner gets pregnant anyway for what ever reason tough. You had sex, you made a baby now you are responsible for it. Its not rocket science.

We all know that men dont think with their heads in such a situation. They just presume and cross their fingers! It's human nature. Women on the other hand are more inclined to think of the consequences.

whatsamsn wrote: »

Dare I say,
Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

That's my point. If women want to get pregnant for their house and social welfare, why should the man be trapped into a situation they don't want.

profitius wrote: »

You're correct about the women needing to take responsibility. I also think men have to take responsibility.

As I said, all women know that a man won't say no!

As for tomorrow night, i'm busy but i have a few friends who wouldn't mind being babbied up at the moment! can send them your way!!!!

hondasam

OP The man also knows what he is doing so it really makes no since. IF male or female do not want babies then do not have unprotected sex.

Jaxxy

Just because (in your opinion) a man can't/won't say no, doesn't mean he can't/won't put on a condom when faced with one of your insane, hormonal, baby obsessed friends.

carwash_2006

You know what, if I were a guy I would be incredibly insulted by the insinuation that guys can't/shouldn't be expected to take responsibility for their actions. In reality they should be far more worried about std's than getting a girl pregnant and condoms should be completely habit when faced with one night stands.

Then again, this is AH, so I shouldn't really be expecting serious answers here

carfiosaoorl

whatsamsn wrote: »

Yes.
What you havent?

No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career:rolleyes:

jesster

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Just because (in your opinion) a man can't/won't say no, doesn't mean he can't/won't put on a condom when faced with one of your insane, hormonal, baby obsessed friends.

hahaha!!! i do have some weird friends! However, i do know of a few men who didn't use protection and just assumed. I'm not condoning it but i do think they should have a choice in whether they want a baby or not. The woman has the choice and all the power in the situation! The woman wanted the child, the man didn't. So why should he have to pay? Why can't he be classed as a sperm doner?

whatsamsn

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career:rolleyes:

Well a few things wrong with your post.

1st off this is what I hate. That a person, me in this situation, cannot state an obvious fact that certain (oh and for the record certain >> some >> a percentage ... all have the same meaning) amount of people do it. Without someone like you (with your opinion) jumping down my throat like I have just tarnished everyone with the same brush :rolleyes:

If I turned around and said certain people will steal from you in this world ... will you come back with the same "have you met any?" :rolleyes:

carwash_2006

But why should they not pay the price for if they are stupid and irresponsible enough to put themselves in that situation? If they can just turn around and say, ah I didn't want it, then you have no consequence. Every stupid behaviour in life should have a potential consequence, that way people might think twice before they act.

carfiosaoorl

No because if he absolutely didnt want a baby then he would have used what ever protection he needed to use to provent it.

consultech

whatsamsn wrote: »

Dare I say,
Op there are certain women out there that their 'career' is to get knocked up and live off the system or child maintenance.

It's actually not that daring a statement. It's common knowledge. It's no coincidence that the system has been subject to attempted rampant reform here in Ireland. It's a real problem.

As far as the OP's original point goes; Should've worn a condom etc etc. It's not that simple at all though in reality. There are huge grey areas. What about relationships where a girl forgets her pill etc etc? Still the man's fault presumably yeah? Happens a lot.

IMO we live under a sh1tty sh1tty system that has swung violently away from unmarried fathers' rights etc., as well as holding men strictly accountable without regard to the mother's character or motives.

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

No I havent do you know how much a single parent gets per child? 13e

So if a single person on the dole gets 200e, a single parent with 2 kids get 226e. Yep great career

2 words: Rent allowance.

Very naive if you think unmarried mothers' benefits stop at dole + childrens allowance.

whatsamsn

Dont split hairs carfiosaoorl
we're not talking about the old famous saying "takes two to tango" - which I agree. Personally I like how my dad phrased it .... "if you are going to dip your wick, you got to pay for the oil"


But let me tell you a story. Knew a girl named Donna once. Was mainly friends of friends. But I chatted to her. We both knew each other.
Anyways Donna got pregnant. Thing was tho she didnt know who the father was. She had sex with more than one guy around the time of impregnation. Yet she was officially saying it was one certain guy. A guy who had a very good degree under his belt and whos family was anything but short. She confided in a friend that there was no way he was the father but seeing as how out of the bunch he had the most best future. She was saying it was his.

Sadly she had a Miscarriage Which despite what she was doing is very sad. But the truth came out in the end that the accused person was not the father and that she simply said it was him because he had the money / future.


Im curious what do you say to that?

carfiosaoorl

I feel like I am speaking to morons, I mean come on to **** are ye stupid. It doesnt matter a damn whether the female doesnt use contraception, whether the man is thinking with his prick whatever. If 2 people have sex and make a baby then both people are responsible for that baby financially and emotionally because while those 2 ****ing morons might be saying "I only wanted to have sex I didnt want a baby" the actual baby doesnt get to say I dont want these morons to be my parents. Grow up!

jesster

whatsamsn wrote: »

Well a few things wrong with your post.

1st off this is what I hate. That a person, me in this situation, cannot state an obvious fact that certain (oh and for the record certain >> some >> a percentage ... all have the same meaning) amount of people do it. Without someone like you (with your opinion) jumping down my throat like I have just tarnished everyone with the same brush :rolleyes:

If I turned around and said certain people will steal from you in this world ... will you come back with the same "have you met any?" :rolleyes:

oh have a set of balls!!! yea women only get 13 euro extra per child but they also get rent allowance of over €1000, free healthcare, extra money for buggies, free bin tags, education allowances... etc... etc....

I'm all for women getting the extra money but there's really no need to moan about it and act underprivileged. your not working for this money. the government give the €13 extra because that is what they estimate a child to cost extra per week when all the other expenses are looked after.

And certain women do use it as a career. I know allot of women who do. And they also have cars and 50" plasma screens! Life couldn't be that hard!

My point is, that the women who use this as a career shouldn't be allowed to trap a man in the situation. As for men having responsibility, it is really basic human nature for men to desire something physical which might develop into something emotional. Women on the other hand, look for something emotional which may derive from something physical. I'm sure that over half of the male population who don't want children have had unprotected sex. They just don't have the same rational in the bedroom!

humbert

whatsamsn wrote: »

Personally I like how my dad phrased it .... "if you are going to dip your wick, you got to pay for the oil"

I think your dad was talking about going halves on lub....

whatsamsn

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

I feel like I am speaking to morons, I mean come on to **** are ye stupid. It doesnt matter a damn whether the female doesnt use contraception, whether the man is thinking with his prick whatever. If 2 people have sex and make a baby then both people are responsible for that baby financially and emotionally because while those 2 ****ing morons might be saying "I only wanted to have sex I didnt want a baby" the actual baby doesnt get to say I dont want these morons to be my parents. Grow up!

you never did respond to the story i posted.

hondasam

jesster wrote: »

oh have a set of balls!!! yea women only get 13 euro extra per child but they also get rent allowance of over €1000, free healthcare, extra money for buggies, free bin tags, education allowances... etc... etc....

I'm all for women getting the extra money but there's really no need to moan about it and act underprivileged. your not working for this money. the government give the €13 extra because that is what they estimate a child to cost extra per week when all the other expenses are looked after.

And certain women do use it as a career. I know allot of women who do. And they also have cars and 50" plasma screens! Life couldn't be that hard!

My point is, that the women who use this as a career shouldn't be allowed to trap a man in the situation. As for men having responsibility, it is really basic human nature for men to desire something physical which might develop into something emotional. Women on the other hand, look for something emotional which may derive from something physical. I'm sure that over half of the male population who don't want children have had unprotected sex. They just don't have the same rational in the bedroom!

Jester you are male not female.

whatsamsn

humbert wrote: »

I think your dad was talking about going halves on lub....

lub?
or is that lube?
Learn to spell or get better at grammer or something :P

hondasam

whatsamsn wrote: »

Dont split hairs carfiosaoorl
we're not talking about the old famous saying "takes two to tango" - which I agree. Personally I like how my dad phrased it .... "if you are going to dip your wick, you got to pay for the oil"


But let me tell you a story. Knew a girl named Donna once. Was mainly friends of friends. But I chatted to her. We both knew each other.
Anyways Donna got pregnant. Thing was tho she didnt know who the father was. She had sex with more than one guy around the time of impregnation. Yet she was officially saying it was one certain guy. A guy who had a very good degree under his belt and whos family was anything but short. She confided in a friend that there was no way he was the father but seeing as how out of the bunch he had the most best future. She was saying it was his.

Sadly she had a Miscarriage Which despite what she was doing is very sad. But the truth came out in the end that the accused person was not the father and that she simply said it was him because he had the money / future.



Im curious what do you say to that?

Men should always get a paternity test to confirm if the are the father.

jesster

hondasam wrote: »

Jester you are male not female.

haha! i'm 100% woman!!! raised by my father so all for mens rights! ask me anything about desperate housewives and i'll prove it!

whatsamsn

hondasam wrote: »

Men should always get a paternity test to confirm if the are the father.

Agreed.
But some men can be naive.
Who knows, maybe some guys just fill their hearts with warmth that they are going to be a daddy. Which might make them blind.

Kinda sad when you think about it. Like who can you trust.

hondasam

jesster wrote: »

haha! i'm 100% woman!!! raised by my father so all for mens rights! ask me anything about desperate housewives and i'll prove it!

nah you think like a man, men watch desperate housewifes so proves nothing. you are male.

Mahatma coat

Originally Posted by whatsamsn View Post
Dont split hairs carfiosaoorl
we're not talking about the old famous saying "takes two to tango" - which I agree. Personally I like how my dad phrased it .... "if you are going to dip your wick, you got to pay for the oil"


But let me tell you a story. Knew a girl named Donna once. Was mainly friends of friends. But I chatted to her. We both knew each other.
Anyways Donna got pregnant. Thing was tho she didnt know who the father was. She had sex with more than one guy around the time of impregnation. Yet she was officially saying it was one certain guy. A guy who had a very good degree under his belt and whos family was anything but short. She confided in a friend that there was no way he was the father but seeing as how out of the bunch he had the most best future. She was saying it was his.

Sadly she had a Miscarriage Which despite what she was doing is very sad. But the truth came out in the end that the accused person was not the father and that she simply said it was him because he had the money / future.



Im curious what do you say to that?

Thats what I'd be worried about too, I remember a situation a few years ago when I was working down at the Farm, one of the Local girls took a Very Sudden interest in me, flattering as it was I was Very Very Suspicious, as I had made advances previously and been shot down, So fortunatly for me I got So absolutly wasted no part of me could Stand up

Turns out she got knocked up by one of the Local no hopers and seemed to have the same Idea as the Girl in the last post.

Little Acorn

jesster wrote: »

hahaha!!! i do have some weird friends! However, i do know of a few men who didn't use protection and just assumed. I'm not condoning it but i do think they should have a choice in whether they want a baby or not. The woman has the choice and all the power in the situation! The woman wanted the child, the man didn't. So why should he have to pay? Why can't he be classed as a sperm doner?

Never assume, for it makes an ASSoutofUandME.
Or just your friends in this case...
:P

Anyhow, what if the woman didn't plan on getting pregnant either, but decides she wants to keep the baby, and does not want to get an abortion or get the child adopted?
The maintenance will help her to raise the child, and seeing as the man is just as equally responsible for the creation of the child, why should he not have to take responsibility too and pay his way?

It is not the same as a sperm donor, because in the case of most sperm donors, it is a quite clear understanding that the woman is not looking for anything of the donor other than some sperm. The donor knows this too.

In the case of two people consensually having sex with each other, both know the risks and both have to take responsibility.
Even if he says "oh but I don't want a child", that is the risk most people are taking when they have sex, so they have to deal with it in someway if it does happen.
It's incredibly immature and selfish for people to think they they can just dump their load, then fcking flee if they have to deal with some consequences of their actions.

I know a girl who had to go to court to get maintenance. This was from a father who was an ex boyfriend not a one night stand, and she only gets 15 euro a week from her ex because he is unemployed, yet he can afford a 2 bed apartment with rent allowance and a done up sports car, and to be out 3 nights a week.
She also always let him see the kid whenever he decided that he "had the time" to see his son, and wanted to play "great daddy" for the weekend.
[She did this just for her son's sake.] Yet he never gave a penny or even a birthday card.
When it came to the stage of court proceedings, he told the judge he wanted a paternity test! All this after 3 years of acknowledging the child as his son, and after going out with my friend for 4 years before the birth.
He did it purely to delay and disrupt the court proceedings, cos he hated the thought of having to part with his cash.
15 ****ing euro is all he got asked to pay!
This was a few yrs ago, so I don't know if the rules have changed regarding a minimum amount.

I know that was a case of a boyfriend and not a one night stand like you are talking about, but for the reasons I've already mentioned I still think that even a fella on a ons gets a girl pregnant, he should still hold a share of the responsibility unless both he and the mother come to some mutual agreement that neither of them wants him to pay anything.

jesster

Little Acorn wrote: »

Never assume, for it makes an ASSoutofUandME.
Or just your friends in this case...
:P

I know that was a case of a boyfriend and not a one night stand like you are talking about, but for the reasons I've already mentioned I still think that even a fella on a ons gets a girl pregnant, he should still hold a share of the responsibility unless both he and the mother come to some mutual agreement that neither of them wants him to pay anything.

That's a real good point and the best response I seen. But it just doesn't convince me. Going back to my original post, i know of women who trap men in such a situation. I really don't think that a man who is presented with the opportunity of sex will say no! I'm confident that at one point or another in a man's life he will give into temptation and just hope she is using protection. However, women don't need sex as urgently as men do. And I do know women who have one night stands in hope of pregnancy. Then, demand child maintenance! I think it's wrong and I think the majority of people are brainwashed by society to think that men are just as responsible as women. They're not!!! Men and women have completely different urges and desires. As a result, I still don't think that a man should have to pay maintenance in the circumstance of a one night stand where a woman desires a baby. And women desire babies much more than men think they do. It's a natural instinct to reproduce!
As for the DNA think, I also think that a there should be DNA tests given at the time of birth. I'm positive that there are allot of men out there raising children who are not theirs. That isn't fair either because women know when they're the mother and again, they have the power in the situation!

CDfm

It is iun the irish constitutiion -Irelands fundamental law - that women stay at home.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055694680

Children cost a lot too - so a parent gets to enjoy paying for them

mawk

Children cost a lot too - so a parent gets to enjoy paying for them

not to mention being the most environmentally unfriendly thing possible. you could drive your fleet of hummers over a field of burning tyres just for fun for months on end and still have a lower environmental impact than that of any parent.
for reals

pwd

mawk wrote: »

not to mention being the most environmentally unfriendly thing possible. you could drive your fleet of hummers over a field of burning tyres just for fun for months on end and still have a lower environmental impact than that of any parent.
for reals

But what if your child goes on to figure out cold fusion eh?
You obviously didn't think this through.

Little Acorn

jesster wrote: »

That's a real good point and the best response I seen. But it just doesn't convince me. Going back to my original post, i know of women who trap men in such a situation. I really don't think that a man who is presented with the opportunity of sex will say no! I'm confident that at one point or another in a man's life he will give into temptation and just hope she is using protection. However, women don't need sex as urgently as men do. And I do know women who have one night stands in hope of pregnancy. Then, demand child maintenance! I think it's wrong and I think the majority of people are brainwashed by society to think that men are just as responsible as women. They're not!!! Men and women have completely different urges and desires. As a result, I still don't think that a man should have to pay maintenance in the circumstance of a one night stand where a woman desires a baby. And women desire babies much more than men think they do. It's a natural instinct to reproduce!
As for the DNA think, I also think that a there should be DNA tests given at the time of birth. I'm positive that there are allot of men out there raising children who are not theirs. That isn't fair either because women know when they're the mother and again, they have the power in the situation!

Well I don't think either of us will be convinced otherwise from our opinions, because we have formed them from our own experiences of talking to people about these things and by whatever we have seen ourselves.
In my case, I have a much larger amount of male friends than female, and they would not be like how you describe all men.[some my age 23, others near 30]
The single ones DO have one night stands, they DO have temptations, they probably WOULD find it near impossible to say no in the heat of the moment,... but they don't feel they have to because they quite openly talk about bringing their condoms out with them on a night out. Mainly because they are very wary and grossed out by the the thought of stds.
If they did get someone pregnant they would do their bit to help, they often refer to fellas they know that just left the woman alone with baby without any help as "scumbags", or "the bollix just ****ed off and left her, won't even visit his kid, what a prick"
I have a male friend who's girlfriend got pregnant unplanned. Neither of them wanted to be parents at the start, but they eventually came around to the idea, and they now have 2 kids, [the second one planned].
Of the 4 other male friends who have children, 3 of them were the ones who actually wanted kids, and asked their girlfriends about it.
Now fair enough they were in long term relationships, but just saying that it's not always the woman who is mad for a baby.
One of these couples are sadly divorced now, but he has no problems paying maintenance, and chipping in for whatever other extra expense may crop up, and he sees his kids 3 days a week, and talks every other night on the phone.

I don't know if men's sexual urges and desires are VERY different to one another. It just reminds me of the people who condone men cheating by saying that they are hardwired to do so because of their sex.
For someone who say's they are all for men's rights, you don't seem to credit them with much intelligence.
They are not all hapless idiotic fools, who can't think past their knob, or make any rational independent thought without desires of a pretty woman getting in the way. [some are, just like some women are idiots too-but not all]

I do agree with you that there probably are some women who try to trap men by getting pregnant, I would never condone that, but I think these women are a minority.
I also think that even if this does happen, it is not the child's fault so the father still holds responsibility to the child, and the fact that he wasn't wearing protection because he believed the girl was on pill is not an excuse. He still chose to have unprotected sex with a complete stranger and just take her word for it. Not the baby's fault!

I gave you the examples of a few of my friends, cos I'm trying to show that it's not always the female who is desperate to have a baby. A lot of males want to be fathers too. My boyfriend and I are considered the "odd" ones because we don't have children or have any interest in having any.:pac:
Also the guys I know have absolutely no qualms about the idea of a male paying maintenance to a woman he got pregnant. To them it's a given, and something they would want to do.

But as I said before, these are just my experiences from seeing and chatting with my friends.
There are probably plenty of guys you know who would just not want anything to do with maintenance, [like what happened my female friend], but I'm just going on what I know to be the majority opinion from the males that I know, and also on my own personal opinion on what is fair and right.

I think we'll just have to agree to disagree!:)

Jaxxy

jesster wrote: »

hahaha!!! i do have some weird friends! However, i do know of a few men who didn't use protection and just assumed. I'm not condoning it but i do think they should have a choice in whether they want a baby or not. The woman has the choice and all the power in the situation! The woman wanted the child, the man didn't. So why should he have to pay? Why can't he be classed as a sperm doner?

If you're engaging in a one night stand with someone you don't know particularly well it is irresponsible to assume anything. Even if she declares she's "safe" and on the pill, a condom should still be used for other, equally important reasons, not just to safeguard from pregnancy. It is irresponsible of the woman in question to try and "trap" the man as you say, it's also irresponsible of the man not to protect himself and any future sexual partners by not taking the necessary precautions.

The burden of blame isn't solely given to one party in this instance.

Nevyn

Why are they expected to pay towards the up keep of the child? cos it's thier child and if they are not sure they should get a dna test.

Contraception is not 100% accidents happen, if a guy doesn't want to be a father he should make sure to wear a condom, if he really really wants to make sure he won't father a child he can always pay to have some sperm frozen and have a vasectomy.
Its a bout 2 grand for that which is a lot cheaper then being on the pill for 20 years.

Gunsfortoys

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

If you're engaging in a one night stand with someone you don't know particularly well it is irresponsible to assume anything. Even if she declares she's "safe" and on the pill, a condom should still be used for other, equally important reasons, not just to safeguard from pregnancy. It is irresponsible of the woman in question to try and "trap" the man as you say, it's also irresponsible of the man not to protect himself and any future sexual partners by not taking the necessary precautions.

The burden of blame isn't solely given to one party in this instance.

Agreed.

Men should be just as cautious when meeting anyone on a night out and shouldn't assume that just because a girl says she is on a pill doesn't make it true.

Jonny makes a great wingman.:D

Redr

What's this about men getting 'trapped'? Does a man's penis get 'trapped' in a vagina? Is he unbelted, unzipped, kacks removed unwillingly, his manhood grabbed, stuffed up a vagina - thence 'trapped'?

Jesus!!