You Know You live in a Uni House when ....

Cheap Thrills! · 08-01-2011 06:17PM

desaparecidos wrote: »

Jelly and jellybags must be the new hipster way of saying jealous, because using proper English is so hard.

Am I jealous? No. I felt the same way about the average student when I attended college myself.

SOMEONE CALLED ME A HIPSTER!!!!

*beams smugly*

Tar.Aldarion · 08-01-2011 06:18PM

Fire alarm goes off every night

door handles go missing

cornflaeks all over the floor and nobody is tidying it

only thing in fridge is beer

SirDelboy18 · 08-01-2011 06:20PM

desaparecidos wrote: »

It's nothing to do with the internet. You see it all around, this "mad hoor" one-upmanship.

Whether you're with friends, in the college canteen, the work canteen, where ever, people talking about their mad session last night and how hung over they are, people talking about all the mad things they do and trying their very best to portray themselves as a very interesting, sociable, likeable and popular person.

The internet gives people another avenue to bleat on about their mad and zany lives. Weather it be posting pictures of nights out and having as high a "friends count" as possible on a social networking site to people posting self congratulatory threads on forums like boards.

Threads like these are basically "I'm such a made fecker, LOOK AT ME!!!!" circle ****

Spose your not up for a few naggins later then?

PrincessLola · 08-01-2011 06:30PM

desaparecidos wrote: »

Jelly and jellybags must be the new hipster way of saying jealous, because using proper English is so hard.

Am I jealous? No. I felt the same way about the average student when I attended college myself.

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/5/59/U_mad_animu.jpg

desaparecidos · 08-01-2011 06:37PM

PrincessLola wrote: »

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/5/59/U_mad_animu.jpg

Have you a disability which prevents you from typing?

desaparecidos · 08-01-2011 06:38PM

SirDelboy18 wrote: »

Spose your not up for a few naggins later then?

Bit racist.

seanbmc · 08-01-2011 06:41PM

When Bachelor Frog has a scary resemblance to your life.

BLACKEN · 08-01-2011 07:04PM

F*CKIN MATURE STUDENTS! :L

Ficheall · 08-01-2011 07:12PM

I live in a house with two other university students. None of the aforementioned indicators present themselves. Does that mean my house is not a "Uni House"?

The Saint · 08-01-2011 07:22PM

desaparecidos wrote: »

I felt the same way about the average student when I attended college myself.

Is that becuase no one would talk to you and you moped around the back of the lectures with your raincoat on, peering out from underneath the hood at all the cool kids having their fun? Is it because you had no friends and no one wanted to go out partying with you because you were always a downer? Is it because no girls had any interest in you as your scowling miserable face and dirty raincoat made you look like a potential sex offender?

DCUlad · 08-01-2011 07:33PM

1. You are so lazy you call or text your housemate even when they are in the room next to you

2. There are always fast food remains scattering the house after a night out which stay there untouched for the next month

3. The recycling bin (bottles and cans) always fills up twice as fast as regular waste!

4. the house will only ever be tidy when one or more housemates are trying to put off doing work/revision

5. Washing up will only be done when the build up has got so bad that it is a public health risk,

6. And then... only half of it will be cleaned, and the other half will be thrown away due to the congealed food being too disgusting to clean

7. To save money on heating bills, the house will be so cold that ski wear will be worn around the house on a daily basis

8. Supernoodles become acceptable as a healthy balanced dinner and so everyones cupboards are well stocked with them

9. you always throw half your bread away once you realise '****' mould, again

10. suddenly hollyoaks, corrie, eastenders, corrie on a monday is so important

11. having 50 varieties of cereal on your work surface.

12. planning an outfit for a week and then finding it covered in mould at the back of the wardrobe

13. potatoes growing sprouts...enough said

14. when cheddar becomes blue

15. alcohol consumption-never needs to be a reason to drink

16. getting ready in the dark when all lightbulbs have blown-and being too lazy to buy new ones

17. watering down washing up liquid

18. At least 80% of the food in the house is economy brand

19. buying toilet roll should have a rota

20. when you no longer need a plug in the shower as the hair blocking it does the job

21. Tables are covered in every type of take out menu which have all been sampled at least once

22. Music blaring from at least one room 24 hours a day

23. The hoover, although onli used once or twice in a whole year, has never been clearned out

24. sitting in the front room and watching your housemate's one night stand 'sneak out' in the morning

25. there being one housemate ALWAYS working...blatent architecture, fashion or graphics

26. theres always one housemate who either doesnt fit in, wasn't as much fun as you thought in first year, or is just weird (and how every house has one???)

27. freezer food is always fully stocked

28. the internet being so so slow and then finding out someone is downlooading the entire series of 'lost'

29. ketchup is treated like gold dust

30. Bringing everyone back to your house at 4am, then realising you don't actually know any of them

31. Coming downstairs, seeing a randomer passed out on the couch and not batting an eyelid

32. seeing a passed out friend and drawing on their face (normally a penis)

33. Knowing your housemate is having sex from hearing the bed springs is acceptable... hearing their noises is not

34. There is always an OCD neat freak who pisses everyone off

35. NEWEST EDITION DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND ......You wake up to a traffic cone in the middle of your living room.

CorkMan · 08-01-2011 07:34PM

I don't know what a "Uni house" is. I live in the suburbs of Cork, so don't need to live elsewhere to go to College/University.

I go to college, and the people I see there don't appears to exhibit any "Uni house" symptons or whatever.

starbelgrade · 08-01-2011 07:49PM

When you get accused of using up the last of someone else's bread / milk / teabags etc.

clikityclak · 08-01-2011 07:55PM

Ahhh second year college house, the disgusting hovel you were.

>Washing dishes becomes a health hazard and you end up throwing out the dirty dishes cause they are covered in fluff
>Your clothes in your room smell of smoke even though you don't smoke
>5kg of Tesco pasta in the corner is the height of culinary delight
>Bathroom becomes a haven of empty shampoo bottles and such(even though we did clean it)
>Random items of clothing/shoes/books just lie round your house for months until you have to move out
>obligatary beer can pyramid, falls over and cigaratte ash spill everywhere from within the cans... pet peeve!
>every dvd cover you open has 'grass' inside
>your night in becomes-fun ways to go down the stairs on a matress

etc etc. same as most I see!!

pow wow · 08-01-2011 08:22PM

desaparecidos wrote: »

Jelly and jellybags must be the new hipster way of saying jealous.

Phew - thought I was the only one who didn't know what that meant when I read it. :cool:

kowloon · 08-01-2011 08:32PM

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Fire alarm goes off every night

I went back to college in the UK, felt so sorry for all the first year students living in halls. They were woken every night by the alarms.

Almost every one of them was living in a rented house by the next year.

juma · 08-01-2011 09:15PM

...when you are getting pussy 24/7

Doom · 08-01-2011 09:19PM

When you ask for a couple of spare teabags from your neighbors through the hole in your floor and their ceiling

Ghandee · 08-01-2011 09:21PM

CorkMan wrote: »

I go to college, and the people I see there don't appears to exhibit any "Uni house" symptons or whatever.

You don't ever get invited back to your fellow students gaffs after the pub/for parties/to study/hell even to skive off for the day? If you did I'm prettttty sure student gaffs have more or less been described to a tee in this thread! Well, it's certainly applicable to some of the dumps I lived in for five years around the holy lands of B-fast lol!

Mr popular are we lol?

tommyhaas · 08-01-2011 09:23PM

juma wrote: »

...when you are getting pussy 24/7

So you went to vet school?

Ah nuts · 08-01-2011 09:45PM

When the furniture turns into fire wood.

Ficheall · 08-01-2011 10:26PM

Gucky wrote: »

Well, it's certainly applicable to some of the dumps I lived in for five years around the holy lands of B-fast lol!
?

So theoretically it could just be that you're a dirty, drunken, whoring slob?
Not suggesting that's the case, of course, but your statistical inferences given seem to be based on a very small biased sample set...

Ghandee · 08-01-2011 10:32PM

Ficheall wrote: »

So theoretically it could just be that you're a dirty, drunken, whoring slob?
Not suggesting that's the case, of course, but your statistical inferences given seem to be based on a very small biased sample set...

If I want to listen to an arse I'll fart.

R0ot · 08-01-2011 10:35PM

When the washing you've put into the tumble dryer is lying still wet/damp beside the tumble dryer and the persons clothes that were in the washing machine after yours are now in the tumble dryer.

tatabubbly · 08-01-2011 10:59PM

When a tenner is enough to live on for a week

Your housemates never clean the shower

juma · 08-01-2011 11:00PM

When you take a shower with a can of beer before going out so you dont miss out on any drinking time.

08-01-2011 11:14PM

When the the stuff in your fridge is so old it's growing new stuff.

You replace eating vegetables and fruit with cheap vitamins that cost less than a euro for a months worth.

Cheap Thrills! · 08-01-2011 11:24PM

You wash the dishes with head and shoulders rather than go to the shop

The TV screen is dirty but you increase the colour and brightness setting rather than clean it

You use an old wooly blanket you found under the stairs to mop up beer as the only teatowels are on the kitchen floor covered in mould and weird tiny black pellets ?

You view Abrakebabra napkins as free toilet paper

You've thought about using the hard towel in the bathroom as bog roll

In the back garden there is an assortment of plastic furniture at various angles, an inside-out gazebo and a broken barbeque in exactly the same configuration as you left them last Summer. This scene is also completely covered in cans and sodden plastic bags.

Girls who visit the gaff look queasy and politely refuse to take a seat and all offers of food and drink, they make frantic 'let's go' gestures at the lad who brought them there. You feel sad inside that you can't leave too.

Two of the bikes in the hall have been cannabalised to donate parts for the third, the third bike owner has a functioning bike but is now obliged to go to the off Licence for ever

There is a Yukka plant gamely clinging to life despite beer and butts being it's primary source of sustinence, there are stolen pub Xmas decos on the plant

In some of the rooms the curtains are never opened, in others there are no curtains.

Under the stairs there are some ancient stinking wooly blankets left behind by the OAP's who used to live there, half a broken tent from Electric Picnic, lots of odd shoes and 6 clothes appeal bags full of Dutch Gold cans and ashtray contents

You attempt to dry your clothes in the microwave in order to avoid the small war that has broken out over the dryer. It is not a success. There is a bad smell of burning Pennys clothes throughout the gaff. No-one wakes up.

There are still clothes on the line belonging to a previous flatmate that left five months ago. You consider wearing them.

Fart · 08-01-2011 11:30PM

Gucky wrote: »

If I want to listen to an arse I'll fart.

So theoretically it could just be that you're a dirty, drunken, whoring slob?
Not suggesting that's the case, of course, but your statistical inferences given seem to be based on a very small biased sample set...

DCUlad · 08-01-2011 11:32PM

When you have to rob your mates toilet roll to use on the cuts on your face as a result of shaving while already started "pre-drinking"

When you never answer your phone when you see the landlord's number.

When a yard brush and watering hose are used to attempt to clean the house.

When your mother finds condom wrappers under your bed, while getting packed to leave the house.

.....I don't understand why people would not want to go to college !

You Know You live in a Uni House when ....

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