If you owned your own pub

fontanalis · 05-01-2011 06:01PM

Bambi wrote: »

O'donohue's is a creative hub for govt officials, civil service knobs and visiting bureaucrats.

Boy were they creative!
The Badgers Bollox is a great name for a bar.

chicken fingers · 05-01-2011 06:21PM

punchdrunk wrote: »

but idiots ordering quadruple vodka and redbull's would be told otherwise

No, you really wouldn´t... stop talking from your ass. When you own a bar, you´re only delighted when teams of clowns come in drinking at 25€ a drink.

Full disclosure, I own a 70% share in a fairly popular bar.

Sea Sharp · 05-01-2011 06:23PM

I'd call it the Beer Hole Inn

fontanalis · 05-01-2011 06:31PM

Why does the image option disappear from time to time?
I'd put it beside The Moors.
http://www.lastexittonowhere.com/media/uploads/blog/SLAUGHTERED_LAMB_NEWS.jpg

05-01-2011 06:38PM

1: Probably call after my self or possibly some version of my username here.

2: Off the top of my head: No food in general, for a big group having a party I would have some agreement with somewhere near by to supply finger food but only for big groups I'm not a fan of food in pubs.

I would have a large selection of tv's and so that I could show different sports and would show things like the PGA tour golf at night etc. I would also make a big deal out of things like the last round of the majors in the golf, the Ryder cup, the Superbowl, Olympics etc and have have specials and promos running (which would be covered by betting on the opposite result thus not losing money) etc. I would also have a foreign satellite system so I could show much more premier league matches than competitors.

I would have an open area where people could have a bit of a dance rather than knocking over tables.

Lots of comfortable couches and nice stools.

Would have a reasonably strict entry policy on Friday and Saturday nights, no degenerates etc.

I would have a dj on on on Friday and Saturday nights playing general chart stuff, oldies etc (fairly loud) but would keep the tv's on (on mute) so people could follow any sports that are on at night.

Standard selection beer none the fancy european or brewery pub beers (don't like them myself either), its a waste of time damn all people want anything other than the standard.

Definitely no pool tables or darts they draw scum.

I would consider having a sort of reserved area for regulars/people I know.

hardCopy · 05-01-2011 06:59PM

I would probably have somewhere a lot like the Bull and Castle.

Fine big tables and benches.
Massive selection of beers.
Good starchy drinking food so you can start drinking straight after work and not have to stop for a feed.
Live bands at the weekend but have the pub sectioned off with no music in one section.
Telly would decend from the ceiling 5 seconds before kick off (like in Hogan's) when there's a rugby match or big sporting event on, also only in one section of the pub and retract immediately after.
Big beer garden, not because I smoke but because I love sunny pints in the summer.

CrinkElite · 05-01-2011 07:18PM

Happy hour.

6-9 pm.

suicide_circus · 05-01-2011 07:25PM

Huge warehouse of a building, extremely bangin techno, selling cans at a modest markup

ardinn · 05-01-2011 10:22PM

keano_afc wrote: »

I'd call mine "Tracksuit? You're not getting Inn"

It would have a great selection of beers and ales, and at least 2 taps pumping out London Pride at a nice cold temperature. There'd be a big tv, but only in one room, along with the pool table. Good rustic Irish food on offer, no flat rolls (or paninis, I believe they're called) or 17 different types of coffee. Guinness lines would be cleaned twice a day to ensure good quality.

Loads more but that'll do for starters.

If your giunness lines were cleaned twice a day nobody would EVER buy giunness in there - please dont open a bar! your allready bad at it!

Retrovertigo · 05-01-2011 10:28PM

Liverdance.

ascanbe · 05-01-2011 10:48PM

veryangryman wrote: »

I would call my pub "The Assass Inn"

With two pictures of hairy arses as the logo outside the bar, i would then include the following...

1. I would nominate bouncers to ensure that the ratio of guys to dolls never falls below 1 girl to 1 guy (exceptions for Football)
2. I would bar anyone with a rugby jersey or D4 accent. Anyone with both gets a polite but firm slap on the face from the bouncer for first offence. Beyond that i let the bouncer decide what to do.
3. Dartboard a must
4. Pool table a must
5. Jukebox a must. All music types catered for (you got to keep the skirt inside somehow)
6. Barman allowed to bar anyone for any reason at any time
7. Pints priced at basically the same rate as anywhere else, but do some sort of "double the difference back" if they find a cheaper pub. Nobody would do this over 10c and yet it will attract good publicity
8. Claim to be the oldest bar in Ireland to get free publicity
9. Call every other barman bastards in the press
10. Make the toilets bollokcs proof (how im not sure yet but well get there)

Only have Ladies toilets?

Eric Cartman · 05-01-2011 10:52PM

call it 'for the ride' - in the hopes people start using the phrase 'are ye comin down for the ride'

dont let in anyone wearing over 100 euro of clothing , keep all those daddys money **** out , just band students from DCU and UCD , serve carling , ban check shirts, ugg boots, fake tan , skinny jeans , thick glasses and any other shíte people are into these days , make the whole thing one of those quazi-legal smoking areas so everyone could smoke , would be savage, get some bouncers to turn away fat burds, let in damp yokes and keep back their fat cockblock friend , only ever put on real sports, none of this 'womens sports' or darts or cricket.

Meteoric · 05-01-2011 11:03PM

ardinn wrote: »

If your giunness lines were cleaned twice a day nobody would EVER buy giunness in there - please dont open a bar! your allready bad at it!

+1 on this, having got my going out money during college working behind a bar a couple of days a week, cleaning lines that often would be insane and end up in more bad pints.

pavb2 · 05-01-2011 11:14PM

Friend opened a bar in Tokyo called it the.... Nippon Inn

abouttobebanned · 05-01-2011 11:19PM

CrinkElite wrote: »

Happy hour.

6-9 pm.

Illegal

Degag · 05-01-2011 11:40PM

Senna wrote: »

There's no money in drink alone. But if you could.find a good balance between reasonable bar food during the day and a regular crowd in the evenings your set. You do need a tv, believe me if pubs didn't have to pay sky up to €1500 a month, they wouldn't.

Lol, no money in drink alone?? Some of the most profitable bars in the country sell ONLY drink and wouldn't touch food. Selling food in bars - unless you do it in volume - can cost pubs money rather than make it.

Also, Sky is expensive, but not that expensive.

CrinkElite · 11-01-2011 06:47PM

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Illegal

yep,

Works in Germany though.

The people love it, the bar owners love it.

Everybody wins.

except maybe the battered wives.:(

If you owned your own pub

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