Worst thing your dog ever did

face1990 · 22-12-2010 11:47PM

Bendihorse wrote: »

...drove my boyfriends M3... driving my coopers s

You just wanted to brag about your cars!

Bendihorse · 22-12-2010 11:52PM

face1990 wrote: »

You just wanted to brag about your cars!

Im never one to miss a golden opportunity to brag alright!

cozzie55 · 23-12-2010 12:01AM

My Australian cattle dog, "Ozzy" last year took a fancy to the christmas tree lights outside, chewed off most of the bulbs. Left the screw tips and bits of broken glass. I decided that I'd take them off the tree and fix them this year. Of course I only see the lights once a year and forgot about the broken bulbs. the cuts on my hands speak for themselves.

He also ate the number plate off the car one day, there is good nourishment in them I hear.

The pics don't do him justice

dnme · 23-12-2010 12:13AM

cozzie55 wrote: »

last year took a fancy to the christmas tree lights outside, chewed off most of the bulbs. Left the screw tips and bits of broken glass.

One is reminded of a classic scene in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where the cat gets fried under the chair.

By the way, I also want your dog!!! Absolute dote

dnme · 23-12-2010 12:14AM

Bendihorse wrote: »

We have a beagle pup (Borris) for just about 5 months now and there are so many stories! The worst has to be this... One day I drove my boyfriends M3 to work, on the way the 'check engine' light came on. I called bf to tell him and it being his baby he decided he had to come get it straight away.

He brought Borris for the spin as he was just back from the vets where he got his shots and also, bf was going to work in 2 hours which meant if he didnt bring Borris he would be locked up untill i got home from work. Anyway, BF was driving my coopers s (Also my baby) out the very windy road in a bit of a hurry so he would be back for work on time.

Borris went very quiet in the back seat for a min, then bf noticed the smell. The dog took the runniest **** ever in the back seat. Bad enough but the mini has a hole in the back bench for the seatbelt clickers to come through, he aimed perfectly and filled it to the top, covering the clips.

Anyway, he cleaned it up as best he could with an empty Tayto crisp bag and continued the journey. He arrived and switched car full of apologies etc etc. 10 mins after they left, i get the following picture:

It speaks for itself.

Oh and just tonight, he ate one of the christmas presents i bought for a family member and by ate i mean chewed it to smithereens.

One Beagle for sale - Apply within.

Hurrauhh, Spiffing I say

cozzie55 · 23-12-2010 12:18AM

dnme wrote: »

One is reminded of a classic scene in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where the cat gets fried under the chair.

By the way, I also want your dog!!! Absolute dote

I also forgot about his love for the postman, he has nearly chewed the front bumper and tyres of the van on numerous occasions.
Our other dog "scott' just barks at the postman but Ozzy really has it in for him.

Iwannahurl · 23-12-2010 12:24AM

raah! wrote: »

One christmas our dog managed to get in the window... and somehow get at the oven (or wherever it was that the ham was being cooked) and eat an entire christmas ham. When we got back he was sitting there surrounded by the remnants of the ham and licking his greasy chops. He also later died.

He gave his life to save yours then! Bad dose, food poisoning...

pawrick · 23-12-2010 12:27AM

one of my old dogs Brutus (golden cocker) decided to sneak up stairs in my sisters house when I was visiting and crap every where on the landing - she was house trained so it must have been her being nervous from staying in a different house I guess. I went to go to the toilet during the night and stepped barefoot right in it. I was wishing really hard before turning on the light that it wasn't what it felt like.

dnme · 23-12-2010 12:31AM

pawrick

We've been expecting you

Run_to_da_hills · 23-12-2010 12:32AM

As kids folks had a beagle that bit the ear off our neighbours cat.

CL32 · 23-12-2010 12:40AM

500 quids worth of stairs and landing carpet.

3 duvets.

Every bed we ever bought her, TILL SHE CAN SLEEP DOWN THE END OF OURS.

Making me take out my doggie poo bag and pull a succession of stringy **** from her arse, that she couldn't pass, because she ate too many duvets. This happened in front of going home time at a local primary school that I walk her by regularly to show off how friendly a Staffie actually is.

hidinginthebush · 23-12-2010 12:53AM

I have a jack russell that, when he was a puppy, jumped over the wall into the neighbours garden. They didn't mind, he was a regular escape artist, but one day he wandered in through their open back door and did a wee on the basket of clothes just out of the tumble drier. What made it worse was I couldn't exactly hop over the wall and go racing around my neighbour's house, would have been a bit weird, plus trying to catch him is like running after a greased piglet, the little rascal! Had to coax him back over the wall with some ham and hide from the neighbours for the rest of the day :cool:

Fozzie Bear · 23-12-2010 01:05AM

Our old dog Rebel (German Sheperd) took an unhealthy interest in a female neighbours crotch one memorable day years ago. The ladies (we will call her Mary) personal hygiene would not be the best but she was still a lovable (if smelly) petit spinster old dear.

She called one day and sat down for a cuppa at the kitchen table with my Ma. I was at the table doing my homework and the dog was asleep in the corner. Suddenly it sat up and started looking at "Mary" and then as if drawn by tractor beam got up and walked straight over to "Mary" and buried its head straight up her skirt and between her two legs. Naturally "Mary" screamed and lept up from the chair (the dogs cold nose may have been a factor too) but the dog (which probably weighed more then her) was not going to be shaken off that easily and continued to walk toward her as she backed off paniced. All the while the dogs head was hidden from view and buried deep within the depths of her smelly skirt/crotch area furiously sniffing away. My mother by now had dropped her cup of tea and was screaming too at the dog "to come away". Mam eventually got a hold of the dogs collar, wrenched it away from poor Mary and horsed it out the door.

Needless to say the rest of that conversation was vvvvveeerrrryyyyyy uncomfortable and me and my brothers spent the next 2 weeks having great fun trying to make the dog lick each others faces after Marys smelly crotch had been in contact with his head.

Our current dog Max (also a G.S.) flooded our kitchen and living room last year (turned on a tap while we were out), chewed my brothers wallet, bank and credit cards to flitters and also demolished a trampoline and its safety netting. Its also hilarious watching him and the neighbours cats. We had to get one of those shock collars and buried wires to stop the fecker from terrorising the cats and sheep/cattle in surrounding fields. He quickly learned not to go past a certain area or he would get shocked but the cats also learned it! (Like the looney tunes cartoon with foghorn leghorn and the dog) the cats now position themselves 1/2 inch the far side of the wire and proceed to lick their arses, stretch, scratch and generally lie there splayed out without a care in the world and a come get me look while the dog goes absolutely ape sh1t 18 inches away.

I might turn off the wire/collar one day and see what happens:D

MagicSean · 23-12-2010 01:09AM

Last night she ate a hole in the wall.

Ms Happy · 23-12-2010 01:14AM

Brought a very deceased hare into the kitchen as a present

She was soooo proud of herself!!

CL32 · 23-12-2010 01:21AM

k_mac wrote: »

Last night she ate a hole in the wall.

Ouch

My friend knows your pain. He went out for the night and left his dog in the kitchen. When he came home the dog was sound asleep on the couch with a belly full of plasterboard.

The thing ate a hole just big enough to crawl through. He's a lazy bstard though, otherwise it could have been much worse.

Mr Benevolent · 23-12-2010 01:23AM

Fozzie Bear wrote: »

Our old dog Rebel (German Sheperd) took an unhealthy interest in a female neighbours crotch one memorable day years ago. The ladies (we will call her Mary) personal hygiene would not be the best but she was still a lovable (if smelly) petit spinster old dear.

She called one day and sat down for a cuppa at the kitchen table with my Ma. I was at the table doing my homework and the dog was asleep in the corner. Suddenly it sat up and started looking at "Mary" and then as if drawn by tractor beam got up and walked straight over to "Mary" and buried its head straight up her skirt and between her two legs. Naturally "Mary" screamed and lept up from the chair (the dogs cold nose may have been a factor too) but the dog (which probably weighed more then her) was not going to be shaken off that easily and continued to walk toward her as she backed off paniced. All the while the dogs head was hidden from view and buried deep within the depths of her smelly skirt/crotch area furiously sniffing away. My mother by now had dropped her cup of tea and was screaming too at the dog "to come away". Mam eventually got a hold of the dogs collar, wrenched it away from poor Mary and horsed it out the door.

Needless to say the rest of that conversation was vvvvveeerrrryyyyyy uncomfortable and me and my brothers spent the next 2 weeks having great fun trying to make the dog lick each others faces after Marys smelly crotch had been in contact with his head.

Our current dog Max (also a G.S.) flooded our kitchen and living room last year (turned on a tap while we were out), chewed my brothers wallet, bank and credit cards to flitters and also demolished a trampoline and its safety netting. Its also hilarious watching him and the neighbours cats. We had to get one of those shock collars and buried wires to stop the fecker from terrorising the cats and sheep/cattle in surrounding fields. He quickly learned not to go past a certain area or he would get shocked but the cats also learned it! (Like the looney tunes cartoon with foghorn leghorn and the dog) the cats now position themselves 1/2 inch the far side of the wire and proceed to lick their arses, stretch, scratch and generally lie there splayed out without a care in the world and a come get me look while the dog goes absolutely ape sh1t 18 inches away.

I might turn off the wire/collar one day and see what happens:D

Unfortunately I can only thank your post once. If I could thank it a thousand times I would. Nearly cried with laughter.

ringadingding · 23-12-2010 01:24AM

Once as kids we used to watch the greyhounds racing on tv. We'd pick dogs and the losing dogs backer had to do a dare.
My brother dared me to tell the neighbours my dad had knocked over and killed their cat, so I did.

It's still up for debate if they were more pissed off that we killed the cat or that it was a lie.

4 months later , my mum knocked over their dog, they didn't beleive her till she got that angry and dragged them out to see the poor dog.
We never really got on with them after that

23-12-2010 01:39AM

Oh well, if we're sharing photos...

Not the worst thing she's ever done but just a little picture of what happens if you eat your Cornflakes on the couch and leave the bowl on a coffee table to nip to the bathroom thinking the sleeping dog won't even know you're gone-

Pic

citizen_p · 23-12-2010 01:39AM

ate a cheque dropped in the door, first (and last) time he ever attacked the post, and it had to be a €150 cheque that he chewed up.

try explain that to a bank manager with a puzzle of ripped paper

WalterMitty · 23-12-2010 01:47AM

My fella tried to hump a life size metal dog that is part of the famine memorial on the quays in Dublin in front of about a hundred people. Must have had lead in his pencil.

What about this cheeky chap
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,524268,00.html

"I was just following orders" SURE Adolf!!!!!! :pac:
That dog has to star in the doggie version of downfall.

shinikins · 23-12-2010 02:16AM

cozzie55 wrote: »

My Australian cattle dog, "Ozzy" .....
The pics don't do him justice

Loving that first picture cozzie, he looks like he's pissin himself laughing at you!!:D

Had a dog once that managed to find my teenaged brothers **** rag! He had it well stuffed away i imagine but she had a great nose and dragged it out and deposited it on my mother foot-the look on her face was priceless when she peeled it open!!! The dog had a thing about robbing dirty underwear from the basket and chewing them to pieces!!

By the way, if anyone is loking for Thread of the Year, i reckon this is a winner, i'm literally crying with laughter here!!

Stheno · 23-12-2010 02:29AM

shinikins wrote: »

Loving that first picture cozzie, he looks like he's pissin himself laughing at you!!:D

Had a dog once that managed to find my teenaged brothers **** rag! He had it well stuffed away i imagine but she had a great nose and dragged it out and deposited it on my mother foot-the look on her face was priceless when she peeled it open!!! The dog had a thing about robbing dirty underwear from the basket and chewing them to pieces!!

By the way, if anyone is loking for Thread of the Year, i reckon this is a winner, i'm literally crying with laughter here!!

You've reminded me again of my GSD, the aforementioned kitchen applicance wrecker.

He was my first dog as an adult, and after reading all the books I sent him off overnight to a kennels to get him used to being away from home.

Arrived up to collect him like an anxious parent on the first day of school, get regaled with all the fun he had.

Then:

Them: "Does he chew much?"
Me: "Yes he'll eat anything he can get his hands on"
Them: Hmm, yes, he appears to have eaten a cassette, well the tape, we spent over an hour pulling tape out of his rear end.
Me: Pretty speechless
Them: Did you have very nice blue underwear? (I'd only bought the chuffin stuff the week before)
Me: "Yes?"
Them: "Ah that was all tangled up with the tape, it did look lovely though"

I'd another GSD who specialised in breaking into the bedroom and wearing any dirty underwear on his head, it was his habit to brag about this by meeting visitors wearing said underwear :rolleyes:

starbelgrade · 23-12-2010 02:32AM

What's a GSD?

Some kind of animal hair straightener?

fonecrusher1 · 23-12-2010 02:43AM

Years ago our cat farted in front of the priest.

He was making his yearly inspections visits & while we smiled & pretended to be the happiest family in the world oul Puskins let rip. My dad coughed as though to make it seem the unearthly noice was him clearing his throat but funnily enough the priest started laughing. It was a rather amusing incident.

Bajingo · 23-12-2010 02:44AM

Ran away, got caught by the pound and cost me nearly 100euro to get back. Then she craps all over the house and starts eating it!:mad:

WindSock · 23-12-2010 02:51AM

Pocketfizz wrote: »

my lovely purple head

fnrr

Stheno · 23-12-2010 03:02AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

What's a GSD?

Some kind of animal hair straightener?

German Shepherd Dog, aka Alsatian

Aka Animal House Clearer in my case.

-Trek- · 23-12-2010 03:09AM

Tried to eat me

kylith · 23-12-2010 03:10AM

Rubbing dead mouse into the doormat.

Here they are, after 'helping' me sort the recycling.
http://i4.bebo.com/037a/3/large/2007/11/23/10/20585919a6183226347l.jpg

Worst thing your dog ever did

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