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Most stupid tourist questions asked!

245

Comments

  • #32
    jimthemental
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭jimthemental


    phill106 wrote: »
    Bunratty castle is lovely, but why did they build it so close to the highway?


    and


    Can you tell me the road to zero zero la?

    Oola in Limerick?


  • #33
    vangoz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭vangoz


    Biggins wrote: »
    Some of the most inexplicably simple queries fielded by tourism officials. :pac:

    "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?"


    Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/4973350/20-stupid-questions-asked-by-tourists.html


    If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake


  • #34
    Ben Hadad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 186 ✭✭Ben Hadad


    Well to get technical with a technicality, if it was phrased "are there lakes in the lake district" you would have a point, however the any does make him look like an idiot, so I would have to disagree with your point.

    Yours pedantically,


  • #35
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    vangoz wrote: »
    If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake
    Well, would you ask are there any bars or a bar, in the bar area? :pac:


  • #36
    Neyite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,946 ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    In Galway:


    American Tourist: "Excuse me sir, do people get buried in this cemetary often?"
    Culchie AulFella: *takes straw he was chewing from his mouth*"Only the Once"


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  • #37
    seagull
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭seagull


    vangoz wrote: »
    If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake

    Quoting directly from the article

    It is the only body of water in the Lake District to use the word "lake" in its name, all the others being "waters"....

    Like the other Lake District lakes, ....

    Put those two together, and your assertion of there only being one lake is shot down.


  • #38
    vangoz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭vangoz


    Biggins wrote: »
    Well, would you ask are there any bars or a bar, in the bar area? :pac:

    If I had prior knowledge that the "Bar Area" was awash with Night clubs then..... yes, yes I would.:)

    Anyway I twigged the lake district one as it was a trick question on Qi.


  • #39
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    When I was a kid, I was at the Paddys Day parade in Dublin with my brother & two elderly American tourists asked us if we'd ever seen any leprauchans.

    We told them - jokingly - that the Pheonix Park was full of them (thinking that they were just winding us up). To our surprise, they asked us for directions to the park, so we sent them off in the direction of the No.10 bus stop, delighted with themselves for the "inside information".

    I still can't believe that they were that feckin stupid.


  • #40
    vangoz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭vangoz


    seagull wrote: »
    Quoting directly from the article

    It is the only body of water in the Lake District to use the word "lake" in its name, all the others being "waters"....

    Like the other Lake District lakes, ....

    Put those two together, and your assertion of there only being one lake is shot down.

    I used wikipedia as my source which never holds water (no pun intended).

    But it is the only "lake". Still too lazy to get a correct source (chomping down on lunch at the minute:pac::pac::pac:)


  • #41
    Iron Hide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,240 ✭✭✭Iron Hide


    Had an American tourist in Cork ask me what time the Grand Parade was starting....


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  • #42
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    These were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the answers are actual responses by the website officials - who obviously have wicked senses of humour!

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
    _________________________________________________

    Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die off?
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA)

    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
    _________________________________________________

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
    A: You are a British politician, right?
    __________________________________________________

    Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless. can be safely handled and make excellent pets.
    __________________________________________________

    Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
    A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
    A: Only at Christmas.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)
    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.__________________

    Hope you enjoyed,

    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....


  • #43
    madrabui
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 423 ✭✭madrabui


    Maybe it’s just a tale that the reception staff tell at the Sheens Fall lodge reception. In the early hours of the morning a hotel guest asked reception to turn off the waterfall as the he couldn’t sleep with the noise.

    http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/50755/50755,1184676126,3/stock-photo-sheen-falls-and-arch-bridge-ireland-3924664.jpg


  • #44
    Cat Melodeon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,617 ✭✭✭Cat Melodeon


    I used to work in a Dublin city centre hotel.

    Had a German couple ask us to ring the police one Saturday morning at 9am because the corpo workers digging up the road outside were making too much noise.

    ("I can't seem to get my tv to work" followed by trip to room followed by patient explanation that the phone was not a remote control) x 5 times a week (at least).

    "How do I get to the temple? Is there really a bar inside?"

    "Wow, you speak English really well" (US) or "See Jules, I told you Irish wasn't very different to English. I can understand nearly everything they say" (UK)

    "Can we get a taxi from here to Port-lay-oh-iss? My family's from there".

    "Do you know where my cousin John Ryan lives? You must know him, I think he lives close to Lime-rick".




    Can't blame it all on nationality (although most were American) - I think old age had more to do with it.

    I don't think I've ever been that stupid when I've been abroad (apart from once when I sported the obligatory roast Irish lobster look on Day 2 of a beach holiday).


  • #45
    Copper23
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 525 ✭✭✭Copper23


    Kimono-Girl wrote: »
    most stupid tourist question asked....by American's walking through the city centre,

    "why can we not see the blarney castle, the flyer said you could see it in cork"

    I'm pretty sure that never happened. I don't know of many Americans who use the word "flyer".

    And coming from one of the larger countries in the world with expansive cities i think its fair to say they wouldn't expect to stand in the middle of the road in a city and expect to see every landmark possible from that spot.


  • #46
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,838 ✭✭✭phill106


    Degsy wrote: »
    Overheard in Dublin is aload of shiite..americans may be a bit thick but even they know scum when they see it hanging around.
    I was just explaining it, wasnt my post!
    jimthemental wrote: »
    Oola in Limerick?

    Yep, sorry forgot this wasn't the limerick forum!


  • #47
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    phill106 wrote: »
    Yep, sorry forgot this wasn't the limerick forum!
    Your alright, its the Dublin one! :D


  • #48
    John_Rambo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 11,734 ✭✭✭✭John_Rambo


    I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.


  • #49
    Kimono-Girl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Kimono-Girl


    John_Rambo wrote: »
    I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.

    i've met one or two american idiot tourists. i've met hundreds of Americans here that have serious cop on.


    if you ask me the only reason they are popping up here so much is because the irish idiots who say these stupid things aren't classed as 'tourists' :D


  • #50
    John_Rambo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 11,734 ✭✭✭✭John_Rambo


    Kimono-Girl wrote: »
    if you ask me the only reason they are popping up here so much is because the irish idiots who say these stupid things aren't classed as 'tourists' :D

    Ha.. true. Seriously though, I travel around the country and the world a good bit. 99% of the traveling Americans I come across are sharp enough, some incredibly well educated. You might get the odd confused elderly ones, but that could happen to anyone of that age. The stories on this thread sound suspiciously familiar.

    Pub talk.


  • #51
    allanb49
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,419 ✭✭✭allanb49


    My fianceé is from Cashel

    - One summer walking to the shop and a american couple ask "excuse me miss we're looking for the Rock"
    - Oh doesn't bat an eyelid and points to the Rock of Cashel
    - They say o yes we've seen the castle we're looking for the rock now.
    - she walked away


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  • #52
    sensibleken
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,650 ✭✭✭sensibleken


    Standing outside trinity college a friend was approached by an american tourist who asked 'excuse me, could you tell us the way to edinburgh castle'


  • #53
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,838 ✭✭✭phill106


    John_Rambo wrote: »
    I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.

    Sure I am one of them, I don't think I am that bad :)


  • #54
    P_1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    Was waiting for a bus on Dame Street, que a large Yank tourist approaching me and asking for Dame.

    Bear in mind that I was standing in front of numerous buildings that said 'Business X, Dame Street'.


  • #55
    fontanalis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭fontanalis


    Where's the Empire State Building?


  • #56
    Johro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    American tourist: Why do the crossing lights make that beeping noise?
    Me: So blind people know the light's green.
    Tourist: Wow.. Back home, we don't allow blind folks to drive.


  • #57
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,475 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    At a bus stop waiting for the driver to let us on the doubla decker bus that has been parked up about 10 minutes

    "does that bus have an upstairs?"


  • #58
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    I was on a cruise and got talking to the room attendant, he said he gets asked every single trip "Do you sleep here on the ship".

    Also a tour bus driver told me about picking up a group of Americans at Shannon, as they were driving along he heard a woman behind him saying "look at the woolly pigs", while pointing at a sheep. It may not be true, but does sound like something a particularly stupid American might say;)


  • #59
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    "where can a woman get high in Ireland" a real pissed off Swiss tourist asked me but the only reason i was even outside that night is because id nothing to smoke myself, otherwise id have brought her into my gaff for a few smokes..


  • #60
    dxhound2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 24,787 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    American tourist in the GPO Dublin pointing at the statue of Cuchulainn and asking postal worker "Was Coochilian a mail carrier?"

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kman999/160190268/


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  • #61
    dvet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭dvet


    My cousin was working as a tour guide in some underground caves (ailwee i think) one summer a while back. She was explaining all about how the caves were discovered etc etc, and an American lady asked her "so were all of these lights here when they discovered the caves?" ...meaning the electrical lights!!
    My cousin told her "No, but the stairs were", expecting a laugh - and the woman believed her!! :o


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