Most stupid tourist questions asked!

Biggins

Some of the most inexplicably simple queries fielded by tourism officials. :pac:

"Are there any lakes in the Lake District?"

"In what month is the May Day demonstration?"

"What is the entry fee for Brighton?"

"Why on earth did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?"

"Is Wales closed during the winter?"

"Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?" :pac:

"Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?"
(Asked a tourist at Whitby Abbey, North Yorkshire)

"What time do you switch the mist off?"
(Asked a visitor to Dover Castle and the Secret Wartime Tunnels, in Kent)

"Which bus do I get from the Orkney Islands to the Shetland Islands?"

"What time of night does the Loch Ness monster surface and who feeds it?"

"Is Edinburgh in Glasgow?"

"Can I wear high heels in Australia?"

"Was this man-made?"
(Asked a tourist at the Grand Canyon National Park)

"Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?" - DOH!!! :pac:
(Asked a tourist at the Mesa Verde National Park)


Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/4973350/20-stupid-questions-asked-by-tourists.html

OutlawPete

I was asked which side of the Liffey the Ha'penny bridge was on :cool:

chin_grin

Oh Biggins!

<muted trumpet sound>

Tabnabs

Asked by an elderly American couple onboard a Cunard cruise ship.

Is that lift out of action on every deck?

NothingMan

I wasn't there but I met a couple of English folk while traveling that had this run in with an American family.

English guys: "Sorry, do you know how to get into the tower?"
American Man: "What tower?"
English guys: *look up at huge tower right beside them*
American woman: "The tower we just came down from honey"
American Man: "Oh right, over there. Do you guys know where the castle is?"
English guys: *Looks at giant castle attached to tower* "Eh... That castle?"

Miguel_Sanchez

What is all this Biggins?

Is it cut and paste day in After Hours?

flyton5

Enough with the copy and paste stuff Biggins.


Now, get back in your cupboard...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I just stopped an American guy from booking a hostel in Vienna. Only clicked when he said he wanted somewhere close to the canals.

--Kaiser--

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

What is all this Biggins?

Is it cut and paste day in After Hours?

Well, it's better than all the miserable shite that's been doing the rounds lately. AH could do with a bit of levity.

MitchKoobski

"Can you make some Waterford style glass for me?" asked the American family, while I was standing on front of the 'TO LET' sign in front of Waterford Glass Factory.

Miguel_Sanchez

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

AH could do with a bit of levity.

No matter how hard we try we're not going to make the forum float.

Degsy

I get asked quite a bit the direction to "Kelly's Book"!

ejmaztec

We want more copy and paste - yay!

Biggins

You got it! LOL

The most ridiculous complaints made by holidaymakers to their travel agent, taken from research by Thomas Cook and ABTA.

* A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

* A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

* "The beach was too sandy." :eek:

* A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

* "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

* "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake." - LOL DOH!!!

* "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

* "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England - it only took the Americans three hours to get home.

* "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." :pac: :pac: :pac:

* "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." :rolleyes:

* "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?" :pac:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/5005019/20-ridiculous-complaints-made-by-holidaymakers.html?image=1

phill106

Bunratty castle is lovely, but why did they build it so close to the highway?


and


Can you tell me the road to zero zero la?

dancingqueen

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the Rock of Cashelle?" an American man once asked me. I was standing under a sign, which pointed to "The Rock of Cashel" about 10m from the actual Rock of Cashel.

He told me he thought it was just a Rock, not a monastery.... eh?

FatherLen

Biggins wrote: »

hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant.

ha glad i have never heard those words.

catbear

From 'overheard in Dublin".

Nice polite elderly American couple consult map while standing on O'Connell Street. "I don't know hun, I think it's that way. let's ask these young athletes standing on the corner".

Biggins

phill106 wrote: »

Bunratty castle is lovely, but why did they build it so close to the highway?

O' dear gawd!!! :pac:

chin_grin

catbear wrote: »

From 'overheard in Dublin".

Nice polite elderly American couple consult map while standing on O'Connell Street. "I don't know hun, I think it's that way. let's ask these young athletes standing on the corner".

............I don't get it..............

Also if it's from Overheard I have to question its authenticity.

pikachucheeks

"Excuse me, Miss, can you tell me where to find leprauchans around here?"

:rolleyes:

I didn't have the heart to tell her they weren't real, so I pointed down the road and walked on.
Years later, she's probably still there, in the middle of some field, searching! :pac:

phill106

chin_grin wrote: »

............I don't get it..............

Also if it's from Overheard I have to question its authenticity.

They thought dublin skangers were athletes because they were wearing tracksuits and tackies!

FatherLen

pikachucheeks wrote: »

"Excuse me, Miss, can you tell me where to find leprauchans around here?"

:rolleyes:

I didn't have the heart to tell her they weren't real, so I pointed down the road and walked on.
Years later, she's probably still there, in the middle of some field, searching! :pac:

*cough* bullshit *cough*

Kimono-Girl

most stupid tourist question asked....by American's walking through the city centre,

"why can we not see the blarney castle, the flyer said you could see it in cork"

Degsy

pikachucheeks wrote: »

"Excuse me, Miss, can you tell me where to find leprauchans around here?"

:rolleyes:

I didn't have the heart to tell her they weren't real, so I pointed down the road and walked on.
Years later, she's probably still there, in the middle of some field, searching! :pac:

Sorry Pika....the correct way Americans pronounce Leprauchaun is,in fact "Lepreechin"

PaddyBomb

Asked by an American woman in the 20th century art section in the National Gallery of Ireland.

Tourist: Why is this called the 20th century section?

Me: Because all the paintings were done in the 20th century.

Tourist: Then what about this one, it says it was painted in 1936.

Me:.......

Degsy

phill106 wrote: »

They thought dublin skangers were athletes because they were wearing tracksuits and tackies!

Overheard in Dublin is aload of shiite..americans may be a bit thick but even they know scum when they see it hanging around.

Duggy747

I don't like travelling, too many foreigners. :pac:

Ross_Mahon

"Can you tell me where the spike is?"

*Standing beside The Spire*

celticbest

An American couple on Henry Street stopped a friend of mine & asked for directions to cork & if it would take more then an hour to walk to........

When my friend said you couldn't walk to Cork & it was about a 5 hour drive they replied it looks very close to Dublin on the map..............

robinph

After some Polish girl had given a tour of some tourist thing some where in the middle of nowhere in Ireland (sorry I forgot what it was) and explained what it was all about she then started making general conversation with the rest of the group.

Polish girl: So, where are you from then?
Some English guys: Surrey.
Polish girl: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

jimthemental

phill106 wrote: »

Bunratty castle is lovely, but why did they build it so close to the highway?


and


Can you tell me the road to zero zero la?

Oola in Limerick?

vangoz

Biggins wrote: »

Some of the most inexplicably simple queries fielded by tourism officials. :pac:

"Are there any lakes in the Lake District?"


Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/4973350/20-stupid-questions-asked-by-tourists.html

If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake

Ben Hadad

Well to get technical with a technicality, if it was phrased "are there lakes in the lake district" you would have a point, however the any does make him look like an idiot, so I would have to disagree with your point.

Yours pedantically,

Biggins

vangoz wrote: »

If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake

Well, would you ask are there any bars or a bar, in the bar area? :pac:

Neyite

In Galway:


American Tourist: "Excuse me sir, do people get buried in this cemetary often?"
Culchie AulFella: *takes straw he was chewing from his mouth*"Only the Once"

seagull

vangoz wrote: »

If fact there is only one "lake" in the lake district so this is technically a reasonable question.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassenthwaite_Lake

Quoting directly from the article

It is the only body of water in the Lake District to use the word "lake" in its name, all the others being "waters"....

Like the other Lake District lakes, ....

Put those two together, and your assertion of there only being one lake is shot down.

vangoz

Biggins wrote: »

Well, would you ask are there any bars or a bar, in the bar area? :pac:

If I had prior knowledge that the "Bar Area" was awash with Night clubs then..... yes, yes I would.:)

Anyway I twigged the lake district one as it was a trick question on Qi.

starbelgrade

When I was a kid, I was at the Paddys Day parade in Dublin with my brother & two elderly American tourists asked us if we'd ever seen any leprauchans.

We told them - jokingly - that the Pheonix Park was full of them (thinking that they were just winding us up). To our surprise, they asked us for directions to the park, so we sent them off in the direction of the No.10 bus stop, delighted with themselves for the "inside information".

I still can't believe that they were that feckin stupid.

vangoz

seagull wrote: »

Quoting directly from the article

It is the only body of water in the Lake District to use the word "lake" in its name, all the others being "waters"....

Like the other Lake District lakes, ....

Put those two together, and your assertion of there only being one lake is shot down.

I used wikipedia as my source which never holds water (no pun intended).

But it is the only "lake". Still too lazy to get a correct source (chomping down on lunch at the minute:pac::pac::pac:)

Iron Hide

Had an American tourist in Cork ask me what time the Grand Parade was starting....

Sunnyisland

These were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the answers are actual responses by the website officials - who obviously have wicked senses of humour!

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
_________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die off?
__________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless. can be safely handled and make excellent pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.__________________

Hope you enjoyed,

How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

madrabui

Maybe it’s just a tale that the reception staff tell at the Sheens Fall lodge reception. In the early hours of the morning a hotel guest asked reception to turn off the waterfall as the he couldn’t sleep with the noise.

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/50755/50755,1184676126,3/stock-photo-sheen-falls-and-arch-bridge-ireland-3924664.jpg

Cat Melodeon

I used to work in a Dublin city centre hotel.

Had a German couple ask us to ring the police one Saturday morning at 9am because the corpo workers digging up the road outside were making too much noise.

("I can't seem to get my tv to work" followed by trip to room followed by patient explanation that the phone was not a remote control) x 5 times a week (at least).

"How do I get to the temple? Is there really a bar inside?"

"Wow, you speak English really well" (US) or "See Jules, I told you Irish wasn't very different to English. I can understand nearly everything they say" (UK)

"Can we get a taxi from here to Port-lay-oh-iss? My family's from there".

"Do you know where my cousin John Ryan lives? You must know him, I think he lives close to Lime-rick".




Can't blame it all on nationality (although most were American) - I think old age had more to do with it.

I don't think I've ever been that stupid when I've been abroad (apart from once when I sported the obligatory roast Irish lobster look on Day 2 of a beach holiday).

Copper23

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

most stupid tourist question asked....by American's walking through the city centre,

"why can we not see the blarney castle, the flyer said you could see it in cork"

I'm pretty sure that never happened. I don't know of many Americans who use the word "flyer".

And coming from one of the larger countries in the world with expansive cities i think its fair to say they wouldn't expect to stand in the middle of the road in a city and expect to see every landmark possible from that spot.

phill106

Degsy wrote: »

Overheard in Dublin is aload of shiite..americans may be a bit thick but even they know scum when they see it hanging around.

I was just explaining it, wasnt my post!

jimthemental wrote: »

Oola in Limerick?

Yep, sorry forgot this wasn't the limerick forum!

Biggins

phill106 wrote: »

Yep, sorry forgot this wasn't the limerick forum!

Your alright, its the Dublin one!

John_Rambo

I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.

Kimono-Girl

John_Rambo wrote: »

I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.

i've met one or two american idiot tourists. i've met hundreds of Americans here that have serious cop on.


if you ask me the only reason they are popping up here so much is because the irish idiots who say these stupid things aren't classed as 'tourists'

John_Rambo

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

if you ask me the only reason they are popping up here so much is because the irish idiots who say these stupid things aren't classed as 'tourists'

Ha.. true. Seriously though, I travel around the country and the world a good bit. 99% of the traveling Americans I come across are sharp enough, some incredibly well educated. You might get the odd confused elderly ones, but that could happen to anyone of that age. The stories on this thread sound suspiciously familiar.

Pub talk.

allanb49

My fianceé is from Cashel

- One summer walking to the shop and a american couple ask "excuse me miss we're looking for the Rock"
- Oh doesn't bat an eyelid and points to the Rock of Cashel
- They say o yes we've seen the castle we're looking for the rock now.
- she walked away