On a lighter note. I am wondering...

DS333 · 15-11-2010 11:56AM #1

During sex, do straight women really squawk like chickens when a fox has got into the coop or is that only in porn films?:eek: If they DO, do straight men suffer from either tinnitus or partial deafness as a result?

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 01:34PM

Porn has lied to you buddy! I never once heard a woman sqawk during sex, then again, I've seen and done some strange things!

squishykins · 15-11-2010 02:30PM

Hehehehehe that would be hilarious if we did actually do that though! Best form of contraception evar :P

SugarHigh · 15-11-2010 02:54PM

Do asian women cry during sex in real life?
I never really understood that.

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 03:31PM

From what I hear, asian women are more likely to be found shouting, 'wrong hole' during sex.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 04:25PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Porn has lied to you buddy! I never once heard a woman sqawk during sex, then again, I've seen and done some strange things!

Well, I'm glad to hear it. For a moment I thought they might be in pain, never having had any physical contact with a woman whatsoever. Then the nasty side of me began to believe that the squawks might be emitted to reassure the man that his technique was on the right track.:o

As for your antics... Well... :eek: Shiver me timbers.:)

SugarHigh · 15-11-2010 05:07PM

I think a lot of it is down to "monkey see, monkey do" where they are just copying why they see in porn and since porn is getting more and more over the top so is the level of screeching required.

But then women do seem to screech a lot for absoloutly no reason, like when they see a friend are they really that excited they can't hold back their screams or are they just playing up to each other.

squishykins · 15-11-2010 05:50PM

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think a lot of it is down to "monkey see, monkey do" where they are just copying why they see in porn and since porn is getting more and more over the top so is the level of screeching required.

But then women do seem to screech a lot for absoloutly no reason, like when they see a friend are they really that excited they can't hold back their screams or are they just playing up to each other.

Some girls are just over the top that way

My best friend would be what you'd call a "screecher", but her whole demeanor is like that so it really shouldn't surprise anyone who beds her :P
I reckon it's more for attention. I love attention, I'm not afraid to admit :P Quite the narcissist, me XD

SugarHigh · 15-11-2010 06:19PM

amyputz wrote: »

Some girls are just over the top that way My best friend would be what you'd call a "screecher", but her whole demeanor is like that so it really shouldn't surprise anyone who beds her :P
I reckon it's more for attention. I love attention, I'm not afraid to admit :P Quite the narcissist, me XD

Yea I agree that's kind of what I was getting at, it's not an uncontrollable outburst of pleasure. I got with a girl at a house party and she was just ridiculous, it was pretty obvious that she was doing it for everyone elses benefit. Kind of embarrassing tbh.

But I understand some people do like to be the centre of attention and there isn't really anything wrong with that but it's not really a personality type I tend to gel well with it.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 07:00PM

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think a lot of it is down to "monkey see, monkey do" where they are just copying why they see in porn and since porn is getting more and more over the top so is the level of screeching required.

But then women do seem to screech a lot for absoloutly no reason, like when they see a friend are they really that excited they can't hold back their screams or are they just playing up to each other.

But what gets me is, if it's not for real, do straight men watching porn actually like to hear them shrieking all the time?

If I were straight I'd have to press the mute button to shut them up.:cool: Very peculiar...:eek:

DS333 · 15-11-2010 07:14PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Porn has lied to you buddy! I never once heard a woman sqawk during sex, then again, I've seen and done some strange things!

Hey!

Since you're such an expert, perhaps you can answer me another question that has often bugged me.

Why do certain men prefer women with udders rather than breasts?:eek:

Speaking personally, if I met a man with watermelons dangling between his knees, I'd be legging it for the hills, shrieking in terror and sounding like one of those porno babes.:(

SugarHigh · 15-11-2010 07:34PM

DS333 wrote: »

But what gets me is, if it's not for real, do straight men watching porn actually like to hear them shrieking all the time? If I were straight I'd have to press the mute button to shut them up.:cool: Very peculiar...:eek:

A groan is more of a turn on than a scream. I really don't get the japanese women crying during sex thing, maybe it's to make the man think he's so big it's painful.:D

SugarHigh · 15-11-2010 07:37PM

DS333 wrote: »

Hey!

Since you're such an expert, perhaps you can answer me another question that has often bugged me.

Why do certain men prefer women with udders rather than breasts?:eek:

Speaking personally, if I met a man with watermelons dangling between his knees, I'd be legging it for the hills, shrieking in terror and sounding like one of those porno babes.:(

I think big breasts can look well when there under control in a bra and a dress but when they are let lose it's not so nice:D

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 07:46PM

DS333 wrote: »

Why do certain men prefer women with udders rather than breasts?:eek:

Udders! Jaysus what sort of porn do you be watching! You're not from roscommon by any chance?

DS333 · 15-11-2010 08:33PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Udders! Jaysus what sort of porn do you be watching! You're not from roscommon by any chance?

I don't watch porn, don't understand the allure. No, I'm not from Roscommon. Why there, by the way?:p

This is a tongue-in-cheek thread, or so I intended. :P:P

To me, women are top heavy - all on top and nothing down below. :oThere are udders out there!!:D

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 08:38PM

DS333 wrote: »

I don't watch porn, don't understand the allure. No, I'm not from Roscommon. Why there, by the way?:p

This is a tongue-in-cheek thread, or so I intended. :P:P

Rossies love their livestock alittle too much at times :eek:

To me, women are top heavy - all on top and nothing down below. :oThere are udders out there!!:D

Just how I like them :P Wait, should I be saying that.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 08:45PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Rossies love their livestock alittle too much at times :eek:

Just how I like them :P Wait, should I be saying that.

I'm not sure what you're saying any more. I'm totally confused!!:pac:

:eek:

There were more questions I wanted to ask but now I'm afraid.:o

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 09:03PM

Ask away. I'll behave this time and give direct answers.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:10PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Ask away. I'll behave this time and give direct answers.

Judging from what my straight male friends say, I have come to the conclusion that they have never had... how shall I phrase this...?... oral stimulation of their richards. It sounds more like a handjob to me, God love them. Shouldn't the hand just keep it in position and the lips, teeth, tongue and tonsils, not to mention the uvula, do the work? Am I wrong or am I wrong? Being a good sort of bod, I haven' the heart to tell them.

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 09:12PM

Can't say I could answer that one since I never had that experience.

Nevyn · 15-11-2010 09:15PM

Are ye seriously trying to understand women from watching porn?

Chuchoter · 15-11-2010 09:18PM

In porn, all the women kiss from like half way across the room with the tip of their tongue, what the hell is with that one.

Asian women sound like squeaky hamsters in the videos :P I really don't understand how people can watch a lot of porn, its just ridiculous.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:20PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Are ye seriously trying to understand women from watching porn?

No. Not in the least.:eek::eek::eek: What I was saying was that I don't understand how straight men find all that squawking alluring. I don't watch porn, and certainly not straight porn. The straight male psyche seems to have hidden depths...

I'm not trying to understand women and certainly wouldn't use porn as my guideline.

OMG. I think this thread has got out of control!:o

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 09:21PM

It is ridiculous and unrealistic but keeps tabs on reoccuring dry spell in my life until I can get things in order for myself. I take nothing else from porn myself.

If you're trying to understand women through porn, you're barking up the wrong tree.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:22PM

crayolastereo wrote: »

In porn, all the women kiss from like half way across the room with the tip of their tongue, what the hell is with that one.

Asian women sound like squeaky hamsters in the videos :P I really don't understand how people can watch a lot of porn, its just ridiculous.

That sounds as if it's bordering on comedy!!:D

Yes, I agree. How come porn doesn't get boring for them, the same thing over and over again... The mind boggles.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:27PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

It is ridiculous and unrealistic but keeps tabs on reoccuring dry spell in my life until I can get things in order for myself. I take nothing else from porn myself.

If you're trying to understand women through porn, you're barking up the wrong tree.

:eek::eek::eek::eek: I'm not trying to do anything of the sort. All I asked was whether all that squawking was necessary. I meant it as a joke, not a serious discussion, but it has got out of hand.

In future, when I wish to dip my toe into the absurd, I shall toddle on over to C&H. They understand, or at least the young'uns who are friends of the family and communicate with me through PM's do.

Sigh...:rolleyes:

Chuchoter · 15-11-2010 09:28PM

DS333 wrote: »

That sounds as if it's bordering on comedy!!:D

Yes, I agree. How come porn doesn't get boring for them, the same thing over and over again... The mind boggles.

But it doesn't even make sense! In the few videos I've managed to watch, I was so bored that I end up either laughing my ass off or being like: That candle is going to set the house on fire, Imagine if her da saw this on the internet, I wonder what her original life plan, the sexy cleaner is after leaving the gas on on the cooker, they are all going to explode so on and so forth :P I don't understand how the straight men its aimed at manage to sit through it.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:33PM

crayolastereo wrote: »

But it doesn't even make sense! In the few videos I've managed to watch, I was so bored that I end up either laughing my ass off or being like: That candle is going to set the house on fire, Imagine if her da saw this on the internet, I wonder what her original life plan, the sexy cleaner is after leaving the gas on on the cooker, they are all going to explode so on and so forth :P I don't understand how the straight men its aimed at manage to sit through it.

If it had exploded it would have been the best comedy ever!:D
For us, the viewers, I mean.

L.Jenkins · 15-11-2010 09:35PM

I think the Bravo channel doesn't a comedy sketch called badly dubbed porn just for giggles.

DS333 · 15-11-2010 09:38PM

Has anyone seen Matthew Barney's short film, "Hoist". It's not porn, as such. In fact, it's so weird that I'm not sure what classification it would fall under.

Nevyn · 15-11-2010 10:32PM

DS333 wrote: »

That sounds as if it's bordering on comedy!!:D

Yes, I agree. How come porn doesn't get boring for them, the same thing over and over again... The mind boggles.

The 20 min blow job bit is always boring.

DS333 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek: I'm not trying to do anything of the sort. All I asked was whether all that squawking was necessary. I meant it as a joke, not a serious discussion, but it has got out of hand.

You got to remember a lot of the conventions of porn are there to cue when something has happened, the squeal is to cue those watching that penetration has really happened. The same thing with the eye roll at orgasm and the 'money shot' to show that the guy has actually ejaculated.

Yes some of the theatricals of porn is finding it's way into real life bed rooms due to people thinking that this is how sex is done and these are the behaviours expected and the positions used when most of them stem from camera angles and invented vocal and visual cues.

On a lighter note. I am wondering...

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