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Being a male virgin

  • 24-10-2010 12:23AM
    #1
    SHH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭


    I'm a male and I know this is a forum exclusively for females, but female opinions are more important to me on this topic than males. It seems to me that in females being a virgin will make them more attractive (guys like it) but being a male virgin is considered a bad thing.

    Anyways, I'm a 19 year old virgin. At 19, the vast majority of people have already lost their virginity. This is a big concern for me. I'm worried about what girls are going to think about me being a virgin. Will they think there's something wrong with me? Will they be be reluctant to get involved with me because of how inexperienced I am?

    Also I'm not particularly pushed about getting a girlfriend, if I fell in love with someone I'd be happy to get involved with them but atm I'd be ok with some casual sex (because being a 19 year old virgin makes one very horny and I'd want to be able to preform well for whatever girl I'd fallen in love with).

    The reason I'm a virgin (as far as I can tell) is because I've never been around that many girls and I was always VERY fat. I'm still overweight now, but not close to as fat as I used to be. I've built up my upper body quite a bit and burned off the majority of the fat.

    So yeah, please give me some input on the importance of a males sexual experience and how it could effect their chances of meeting someone. Just throw in anything you think could be relevant to being a virgin in general.


Comments

  • #2
    amacachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,315 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    I'm 22, I win.

    Go out, meet people. Doesn't matter if you're fat or thin or ugly or not, you have to put yourself out if you want to find someone.


  • #3
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    For me it wouldn't bother me at all for a guy to be a virgin. But I really only sleep with guys who I am in relationships with. Then it wouldnt bother me that he;s not experienced because I know he will gain the experience with me, if you get me.

    I've never slept with a virgin so I'm not sure what its like, but maybe it would be an issue with a girl who just wanted casual sex? As in they might expect a good performance on that first time cause it may be the only time with you.

    My point is that it wouldn't be any kind of problem for me to have a boyfriend who was a virgin.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    SHH wrote: »
    I'm a male and I know this is a forum exclusively for females, but female opinions are more important to me on this topic than males. It seems to me that in females being a virgin will make them more attractive (guys like it) but being a male virgin is considered a bad thing.

    Anyways, I'm a 19 year old virgin. At 19, the vast majority of people have already lost their virginity. This is a big concern for me. I'm worried about what girls are going to think about me being a virgin. Will they think there's something wrong with me? Will they be be reluctant to get involved with me because of how inexperienced I am?

    Not everyone arrives to the party at the same time. Some will care and some will not. You should try find someone in the latter category.
    SHH wrote: »
    Also I'm not particularly pushed about getting a girlfriend, if I fell in love with someone I'd be happy to get involved with them but atm I'd be ok with some casual sex (because being a 19 year old virgin makes one very horny and I'd want to be able to preform well for whatever girl I'd fallen in love with).

    Well a relaxed attitude like that isn't going to make it happen any faster and it is highly unlikely you will blow the socks off the woman you lose your virginity with. Having overly high expectations of your performance will stress you out when the time comes and make it worse.
    SHH wrote: »
    The reason I'm a virgin (as far as I can tell) is because I've never been around that many girls and I was always VERY fat. I'm still overweight now, but not close to as fat as I used to be. I've built up my upper body quite a bit and burned off the majority of the fat.

    Physical looks aren't everything. Good to hear you're burning off the excess weight though, it is good for your overall health.
    SHH wrote: »
    So yeah, please give me some input on the importance of a males sexual experience and how it could effect their chances of meeting someone. Just throw in anything you think could be relevant to being a virgin in general.

    I'm 21 and still a virgin. You still have plenty of time ahead of you, don't stress about it too much.


  • #5
    Scarinae
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    There was a thread recently along similar lines here, I think you'll see from that thread that some people would mind, and some people would not - it depends on the person. However, 19 is not especially old to be a virgin, many of the people in that thread who were saying they wouldn't be that keen on it were thinking in terms of the guy being older than that


  • #6
    Xiney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,085 ✭✭✭Xiney


    Lots of people are still virgins at 19, don't worry. Do go out and meet people and make friends and it will just happen :-)


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  • #7
    maxxie
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 949 ✭✭✭maxxie


    it not a biggy dude dont stress about it! you will meet a girl have the crack and one thing will lead to another! wham bam you will feel like a hero :)


  • #8
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    SHH wrote: »
    At 19, the vast majority of people have already lost their virginity.
    How do you know that? I'm guessing that's probably more of a perception than a reality. I was 18 - plenty of years of it afterwards. You've MASSES of time OP.


  • #9
    La frog fairy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 167 ✭✭La frog fairy


    I wouldn't worry one bit about the age, don't stress over it and enjoy meeting people, it will happen naturally.
    As for a woman opinion, I would prefer having sex with a guy who is a virgin than a guy who sleeps around.
    Slept with a virgin guy once and it was really nice, sure he was inexperienced but he was very eager to learn, great time! ;-)


  • #10
    caseyann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,938 ✭✭✭caseyann


    Everyone had to lose their virginity with someone,and most lose it with someone who already has been with someone.
    The question would be for you,have you got a problem with how many or if they had experiences previous to you?
    Loads of girls would be happy to be with a guy who hasnt been with someone,and to the ones who do feck them who cares(do not let anyone who has problem with your sexual experiences effect your self esteem as they would be the ones with the issues not you) :) .Weight wise any girl who is shallow enough to miss the personality and sensitivity you have then isnt worth it.Keep up good work to make yourself feel better and not for anyone else.


  • #11
    Konata
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    Being with a virgin has never put me off in the past. For me, there's so much more to a relationship than just sex and anyway, what works for one person sex wise mightn't necessarily work for another. Relationships are about learning what each person likes, so experience is not a necessity imo.


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  • #12
    Subtle Troll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 160 ✭✭Subtle Troll


    How do you care that you are a virgin if you say yourself you aren't pushed bout getting a girlfriend?

    That says you are just scared of the label to me, you want to not be a virgin but aren't interested in the sex aspect.

    Believe you me sunshine the best sex is with a girlfriend and at the very least to be in a casual sexual relationship you gotta be in a relationship with them on an even level.


    Better decide if you want a relationship with a girl or not, cause thats what sex is about, its not the fantasy porn world where you bang indiscriminate sex objects, you want to not be a virgin you want sex, and if you actually want sex you want a relationship.

    So work on getting that first, cant imagine your experience level will be a major issue for them you are young after all.


  • #13
    Piste
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    If you think being a virgin will put girls off you then just don't tell them and they won't have to know. Sorted.


  • #14
    Eviledna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭Eviledna


    Piste wrote: »
    If you think being a virgin will put girls off you then just don't tell them and they won't have to know. Sorted.

    I think this is bad advice.

    If you are sleeping with someone you owe it to them and yourself to be upfront about your sexual past. Being a virgin at 19 is not unusual and I would be surprised if a girl would bat an eyelid at the notion.

    If anything I think a girl would appreciate being your first. It's an honour and worth doing right.:)

    Say you were with a girl for the first time. Say you didn't tell her. Say she said she had been with 3 guys before. Imagine if she lied and in fact it was her first time too. You would both have missed out on a wonderful opportunity to share something in the full knowledge and exploration of each other.

    I always bat for honesty. If a girl would have a problem sharing your first time then maybe that isn't the girl you want to be sleeping with, eh?


  • #15
    squeakyduck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,766 ✭✭✭squeakyduck


    OP, There is no taboo about being a virgin, a close friend of mine is 23 and she is still waiting for her special someone. She is smart to do so. I have had friends who have done the deed with a stranger, I don't think it would be a nice experience!

    Like others have said go out and half some fun! :) You'll meet a girl you like and take things from there. There is no need to worry about inexperience, people don't suddenly have a little bulb come on over their head and say "I know how to have sex now!" Everyone has to learn from somewhere.

    Although everyone is different, I would wait to share that special moment with someone who is important to you. It's very intimate, I wouldn't like to share an intimate moment with just anyone! :)


  • #16
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,769 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    After you've done it once with a girl you'll realise its not a big deal.

    It might not be great for her but no one at 17-19 expects great sex.

    So just relax, when it happens it happens.

    When I said once I meant once with a girl who wants to have sex with you. A prostitute wouldn't work because its the emotional realisation it isn't a big deal that matters. I'm only bringing that up because in these type of threads prostitution commonly suggested by idiots, not insinuating anything


  • #17
    Geansai Rua
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 343 ✭✭Geansai Rua


    my boyfriend was a virgin when we first started going out and he was 19. Its not an issue at all for me.
    I say fair play to you, I wish all guys were as sensible as you, would have made my teenage years a whole lot better!!


  • #18
    Keptic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Keptic


    SHH wrote: »
    I'm a male and I know this is a forum exclusively for females, but female opinions are more important to me on this topic than males.
    I would, however, advise you to listen to my opinion.
    SHH wrote: »
    Anyways, I'm a 19 year old virgin. At 19, the vast majority of people have already lost their virginity. This is a big concern for me. I'm worried about what girls are going to think about me being a virgin.

    There is nothing to be worry about. I've lost my virginity quite late myself - considering my mates who started relatively early (at least from what they were saying, so bare that in mind too). This does not make you look bad in any way and girls wouldn't care for 2 reasons:

    1) the one who's really into you won't care if you're a virgin or not because she will love you.

    2) the one who just wants a shag - well, do you wear a t-shirt with huge "I'm a virgin" at the front? Just don't say anything, go with the flow. She want's a shag not you telling her your concerns..

    Since I reached 30 and the number of girls I had sex with went up and up, I also stopped worrying about the sizes, shapes, etc, etc. It's all your head, if you meet a girl, if you're ready, if you want it - you'll do it, and you'll do it well. So don't worry and good luck.


  • #19
    highlydebased
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,490 ✭✭✭highlydebased


    SHH wrote: »

    Anyways, I'm a 19 year old virgin. At 19, the vast majority of people have already lost their virginity.



    Far from it, in fact. A HUGE amount of people let on just to show off, honest!

    If a girl gets turned off you because you've never slept with someone then she's clearly not worth the bother tbh with you.


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