So I went to get some milk...

southsiderosie · 18-10-2010 04:04PM #1

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

phill106 · 18-10-2010 04:06PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

Any pictures of the donut?

Kiera · 18-10-2010 04:06PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

Eh? Tell the truth, you were the drunk man!

KeithM89_old · 18-10-2010 04:07PM

When i was in New York, i went into a Starbucks and a homeless guy was 2 ahead of me. Just as we were approaching the counter, the guy in front of me started coughing and ran out. The homeless guy **** himself.

Dyr · 18-10-2010 04:09PM

There was this time I wound up queuing behind an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, a very stale chocolate donut, and some mentalist who was starting a row with them all.

Cuddlesworth · 18-10-2010 04:09PM

Story needs more midgets.

jimthemental · 18-10-2010 04:10PM

In the line in Supermac's a few years ago and some rough looking girl dragged one of the women working there over the counter and started beating her until the doormen turfed her out. Nearly put me off ordering.

Donkey Oaty · 18-10-2010 04:11PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

You have the makings of a very fine play there, and it would qualify for all kinds of grants.

Leeg17 · 18-10-2010 04:11PM

Mary's lovely bottom

southsiderosie · 18-10-2010 04:12PM

phill106 wrote: »

Any pictures of the donut?

No, but I got a good look at it when the angry drunk man waved it in my face.

Stinicker · 18-10-2010 04:13PM

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

KungPao · 18-10-2010 04:13PM

Are you sure you didn't doze off for a second, while in the queue?

southsiderosie · 18-10-2010 04:15PM

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

You have the makings of a very fine play there, and it would qualify for all kinds of grants.

I think Almodovar has already made the movie.

Ush1 · 18-10-2010 04:18PM

I was in Tescos queing. An Eastern European man(possibly Russian) was pushing in one of those huge lines or interlocked trolleys. There was an African man with his son nearby. He was looking at something and his son legged it off going mental and ended up running into the trolleys and was crying. The African father then whipped round, having not seen what had happened and started shouting like mental, really animated like, in the Eastern guys face. The Eastern guy was just saying nothing, sort of looking at the African guy apathetically.

The chubby Irish manager jumped in at that stage trying to calm the African guy down. Was pretty funny, 2 foreigners with very little English it seems having a barney!

phill106 · 18-10-2010 04:20PM

Stinicker wrote: »

my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

See that is why ireland needs handguns:)
Course if the rest of the gang pulled out an uzi or something, the sh!t would hit the fan, but hell, we all have to die sometime. Important thing is the queue must not be jumped!

Donkey Oaty · 18-10-2010 04:22PM

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America...

Yeah, sure you were.

KungPao · 18-10-2010 04:26PM

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend Harry quickly pulled out his concealed .44 Magnum and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and said "This is the most powerful hand gun in the wuuurld and would blow your head clean off...

Callahan just doesn't get on well with the minorities.

alwaysadub · 18-10-2010 04:30PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

And what happened then? Did you get a smack of the donut. Or did the transvestite join the gypsies?
You can't just start a story like that and not tell us how it ended!!

Feeona · 18-10-2010 04:36PM

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

Yeah, sure you were.

No, no it's true. I remember seeing a documentary about these types of citizen police. Citizens On Patrol it was called. Or COP for short. In it there was this cop who used to make funny noises with his mouth, another cop who was really tall, another who was trigger happy, another who suffered from ADD, plus a few others. It was like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but with more guns and fewer laughs.

gurramok · 18-10-2010 04:41PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

No need to mention gypsies now is there? Thats discrimination!

Thought you were all for multi-culturalism and that lark;)

deandean · 18-10-2010 04:41PM

So far this post reads like a promotional for online shopping.

kfallon · 18-10-2010 04:41PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

No, but I got a good look at it when the angry drunk man waved it in my face.

And what about the doughnut

Superbus · 18-10-2010 04:44PM

Leeg17 wrote: »

Mary's lovely bottom

People called Mary don't have lovely bottoms. That is a fact.

Orando Broom · 18-10-2010 04:49PM

I was in a queue once and this person paid for their staple goods in cash. He departed quietly with two full bags of nourishment for his family. I blew him away with my Glock 9mm that I'd won that very evening in the bazaar up in the hall.

petes · 18-10-2010 04:57PM

Superbus wrote: »

People called Mary don't have lovely bottoms. That is a fact.

I know a Mary and she has indeed a lovely bottom!

jimthemental · 18-10-2010 04:59PM

Insurgent wrote: »

I know a Mary and she has indeed a lovely bottom!

Of course they all have lovely bottoms!

Sykk · 18-10-2010 05:02PM

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

And then you woke up

southsiderosie · 18-10-2010 05:30PM

alwaysadub wrote: »

And what happened then? Did you get a smack of the donut. Or did the transvestite join the gypsies?
You can't just start a story like that and not tell us how it ended!!

To make a long story short, was in line at the super-cheap grocery store, and the line next to me closed, so everyone rushed to queue up behind me. A bottle-blonde transvestite with radioactive spray-on tan won the scrum, prompting howls of protest from a troika of Spanish gypsy women who insisted that since the transvestite was behind them in the other line, she should get to the back of the new line. While this was going on behind me, a drunk man with a cellophane-wrapped donut that had at least four markdown stickers on it stepped in front of me and tried to pay for the donut. Well, I had about reached my limit and told him the end of the line was THAT WAY (points to back of long line), to which he responded "IT'S ONLY ONE ITEM!!!" and waved the donut in my face. When I said it wasn't fair to all the people behind me, the transvestite said "Well, if it's only one item", prompting new shrieks of despair from the gypsy women. At this point we all turned to the 16 year old clerk who looked at me, looked at the donut, announced "I have to do a price check" and ran off.

After about 30 seconds, the man collected his change and stomped off.

The clerk returned, innocently asked "oh, did he leave" and started ringing up my groceries while muttering "How stupid".

Moral of the story: cheap Greek yogurt is not worth the hassle of dealing with crazy people in Spanish supermarkets

whydoibother? · 18-10-2010 05:42PM

I was standing on a train - in the space between the carriages where the toilets are. There were about 3 people queuing for the toilet. They were waiting for ages. The person in it had been in it for about 20 minutes. Then we stop at one of the stations. The door opens, and out walks a guy complete with newspaper and 2 suitcases. He wasn't as stupid as me...standing!:D

punchdrunk · 18-10-2010 05:45PM

just yesterday,we had a guy run into our shop and grab a child out of a womans arms and try to run away with the kid,huge fight ensued

turns out he was the father and they had split up,and she wasn't letting him see the child on weekends so he tried to take her by force

queue about six guards showing up to sort out the situation...pure craziness!

Biggins · 18-10-2010 05:48PM

Was in an American average small post office in Washington a number of years ago waiting in line, when behind me five minutes later two pleb crooks came in and decided to try and rob the place.
The words "O' schite!" and a few other expletives came to mind. Within two minutes I was laughing my ass off though.

What the two pleb, dumb crooks didn't know or bother to check out was that further down the block was a local FBI office and it was pay-day.
A good lot in line for the counters were - you probably guessed it - officers waiting to cash their cheques. Needless to say, as soon as the two crooks walked in with their small weapons and made their presence known, I never saw so many friggin' guns whipped out in opposition.
After getting over the shock of seeing the crooks with their weapons out in public, I nearly pissed myself with laughter. I was bent over double with ache in my stomach from laughing - someone asked me was I all right, said I was fine with tears of laughter streaming down my face.
What had made me laugh to much was the sheer shocked faces of the two crooks as they saw all the weapons pointed at them.

Their faces written with shock is a class memory I will take to me grave. Absolute priceless. LOL
It still gives me a laugh today.

True story. Honest to god and I swear that on my life.

So I went to get some milk...

Comments