So I went to get some milk...

southsiderosie

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

phill106

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

Any pictures of the donut?

Kiera

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

Eh? Tell the truth, you were the drunk man!

KeithM89_old

When i was in New York, i went into a Starbucks and a homeless guy was 2 ahead of me. Just as we were approaching the counter, the guy in front of me started coughing and ran out. The homeless guy **** himself.

Dyr

There was this time I wound up queuing behind an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, a very stale chocolate donut, and some mentalist who was starting a row with them all.

Cuddlesworth

Story needs more midgets.

jimthemental

In the line in Supermac's a few years ago and some rough looking girl dragged one of the women working there over the counter and started beating her until the doormen turfed her out. Nearly put me off ordering.

Donkey Oaty

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

You have the makings of a very fine play there, and it would qualify for all kinds of grants.

Leeg17

Mary's lovely bottom

southsiderosie

phill106 wrote: »

Any pictures of the donut?

No, but I got a good look at it when the angry drunk man waved it in my face.

Stinicker

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

KungPao

Are you sure you didn't doze off for a second, while in the queue?

southsiderosie

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

You have the makings of a very fine play there, and it would qualify for all kinds of grants.

I think Almodovar has already made the movie.

Ush1

I was in Tescos queing. An Eastern European man(possibly Russian) was pushing in one of those huge lines or interlocked trolleys. There was an African man with his son nearby. He was looking at something and his son legged it off going mental and ended up running into the trolleys and was crying. The African father then whipped round, having not seen what had happened and started shouting like mental, really animated like, in the Eastern guys face. The Eastern guy was just saying nothing, sort of looking at the African guy apathetically.

The chubby Irish manager jumped in at that stage trying to calm the African guy down. Was pretty funny, 2 foreigners with very little English it seems having a barney!

phill106

Stinicker wrote: »

my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

See that is why ireland needs handguns:)
Course if the rest of the gang pulled out an uzi or something, the sh!t would hit the fan, but hell, we all have to die sometime. Important thing is the queue must not be jumped!

Donkey Oaty

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America...

Yeah, sure you were.

KungPao

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend Harry quickly pulled out his concealed .44 Magnum and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and said "This is the most powerful hand gun in the wuuurld and would blow your head clean off...

Callahan just doesn't get on well with the minorities.

alwaysadub

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed (or been involved in) while waiting in line?

And what happened then? Did you get a smack of the donut. Or did the transvestite join the gypsies?
You can't just start a story like that and not tell us how it ended!!

Feeona

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

Yeah, sure you were.

No, no it's true. I remember seeing a documentary about these types of citizen police. Citizens On Patrol it was called. Or COP for short. In it there was this cop who used to make funny noises with his mouth, another cop who was really tall, another who was trigger happy, another who suffered from ADD, plus a few others. It was like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but with more guns and fewer laughs.

gurramok

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

No need to mention gypsies now is there? Thats discrimination!

Thought you were all for multi-culturalism and that lark;)

deandean

So far this post reads like a promotional for online shopping.

kfallon

southsiderosie wrote: »

No, but I got a good look at it when the angry drunk man waved it in my face.

And what about the doughnut

Superbus

Leeg17 wrote: »

Mary's lovely bottom

People called Mary don't have lovely bottoms. That is a fact.

Orando Broom

I was in a queue once and this person paid for their staple goods in cash. He departed quietly with two full bags of nourishment for his family. I blew him away with my Glock 9mm that I'd won that very evening in the bazaar up in the hall.

petes

Superbus wrote: »

People called Mary don't have lovely bottoms. That is a fact.

I know a Mary and she has indeed a lovely bottom!

jimthemental

Insurgent wrote: »

I know a Mary and she has indeed a lovely bottom!

Of course they all have lovely bottoms!

Sykk

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

And then you woke up

southsiderosie

alwaysadub wrote: »

And what happened then? Did you get a smack of the donut. Or did the transvestite join the gypsies?
You can't just start a story like that and not tell us how it ended!!

To make a long story short, was in line at the super-cheap grocery store, and the line next to me closed, so everyone rushed to queue up behind me. A bottle-blonde transvestite with radioactive spray-on tan won the scrum, prompting howls of protest from a troika of Spanish gypsy women who insisted that since the transvestite was behind them in the other line, she should get to the back of the new line. While this was going on behind me, a drunk man with a cellophane-wrapped donut that had at least four markdown stickers on it stepped in front of me and tried to pay for the donut. Well, I had about reached my limit and told him the end of the line was THAT WAY (points to back of long line), to which he responded "IT'S ONLY ONE ITEM!!!" and waved the donut in my face. When I said it wasn't fair to all the people behind me, the transvestite said "Well, if it's only one item", prompting new shrieks of despair from the gypsy women. At this point we all turned to the 16 year old clerk who looked at me, looked at the donut, announced "I have to do a price check" and ran off.

After about 30 seconds, the man collected his change and stomped off.

The clerk returned, innocently asked "oh, did he leave" and started ringing up my groceries while muttering "How stupid".

Moral of the story: cheap Greek yogurt is not worth the hassle of dealing with crazy people in Spanish supermarkets

whydoibother?

I was standing on a train - in the space between the carriages where the toilets are. There were about 3 people queuing for the toilet. They were waiting for ages. The person in it had been in it for about 20 minutes. Then we stop at one of the stations. The door opens, and out walks a guy complete with newspaper and 2 suitcases. He wasn't as stupid as me...standing!:D

punchdrunk

just yesterday,we had a guy run into our shop and grab a child out of a womans arms and try to run away with the kid,huge fight ensued

turns out he was the father and they had split up,and she wasn't letting him see the child on weekends so he tried to take her by force

queue about six guards showing up to sort out the situation...pure craziness!

Biggins

Was in an American average small post office in Washington a number of years ago waiting in line, when behind me five minutes later two pleb crooks came in and decided to try and rob the place.
The words "O' schite!" and a few other expletives came to mind. Within two minutes I was laughing my ass off though.

What the two pleb, dumb crooks didn't know or bother to check out was that further down the block was a local FBI office and it was pay-day.
A good lot in line for the counters were - you probably guessed it - officers waiting to cash their cheques. Needless to say, as soon as the two crooks walked in with their small weapons and made their presence known, I never saw so many friggin' guns whipped out in opposition.
After getting over the shock of seeing the crooks with their weapons out in public, I nearly pissed myself with laughter. I was bent over double with ache in my stomach from laughing - someone asked me was I all right, said I was fine with tears of laughter streaming down my face.
What had made me laugh to much was the sheer shocked faces of the two crooks as they saw all the weapons pointed at them.

Their faces written with shock is a class memory I will take to me grave. Absolute priceless. LOL
It still gives me a laugh today.

True story. Honest to god and I swear that on my life.

southsiderosie

punchdrunk wrote: »

just yesterday,we had a guy run into our shop and grab a child out of a womans arms and try to run away with the kid,huge fight ensued

turns out he was the father and they had split up,and she wasn't letting him see the child on weekends so he tried to take her by force

queue about six guards showing up to sort out the situation...pure craziness!

:eek:

Yikes. That's intense.

laugh

Biggins wrote: »

cheques.

True story. Honest to god and I swear that on my life.

The United States government pays the FBI staff by cheque?

How many number of years ago?

Irish Guitarist

This is disgusting more than crazy. I was once in a queue in Tesco behind a man with dreadlocks. The smell off of him was possibly the worst smell I've ever witnessed emanating from any living being.

I mention the dreadlocks because that must have been where the smell was coming from as hair with dreadlocks can't be washed. I'm sure he hadn't washed his hair in at least a year.

Biggins

laugh wrote: »

The United States government pays the FBI staff by cheque?

How many number of years ago?

10+
I was just a Joe Soap in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It was all over in less than two minutes and business went on as usual.
I just went to my way too.

Stinicker

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

This is disgusting more than crazy. I was once in a queue in Tesco behind a man with dreadlocks. The smell off of him was possibly the worst smell I've ever witnessed emanating from any living being.

I mention the dreadlocks because that must have been where the smell was coming from as hair with dreadlocks can't be washed. I'm sure he hadn't washed his hair in at least a year.

Ah Crusties, would this have been a Tesco in Mayo, he was probably fresh from a campsite at the ol' Shell to Sea down with this sort of thing.

**Vai**

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

This is disgusting more than crazy. I was once in a queue in Tesco behind a man with dreadlocks. The smell off of him was possibly the worst smell I've ever witnessed emanating from any living being.

I mention the dreadlocks because that must have been where the smell was coming from as hair with dreadlocks can't be washed. I'm sure he hadn't washed his hair in at least a year.

http://www.dreadheadhq.com/make_dreadlocks_maintain_washing.php :rolleyes:

punchdrunk

southsiderosie wrote: »

:eek:

Yikes. That's intense.

yeah completely mental,he was just a completely ordinary looking bloke
but he came in swinging digs at presumably the girls mother infront of his own child,the little poor girl was petrified

southsiderosie

I spent a summer in Nicaragua, and going to the bank to cash travelers checks (this was a looong time ago) was always a pain in the ass because not only does everything happen super-slowly, but there is this informal rule that if a pensioner or a pregnant woman comes into the bank, they can skip to the front of the queue. So after about 45 minutes of watching about 6 OAPs jump the line, I was super pissed when this American backpacker who had been fanning herself in line behind me said something to the security guard and got escorted to the counter. Just as the clerk was counting out her change, the backpacker swayed, grabbed the counter, and projectile-vomited. The force of it was so strong that it sprayed over the top of the dividing glass, hitting the clerk...but the bulk of it sprayed back onto the backpacker and the floor.

For about 5 seconds, everyone in the bank froze. The silence was broken by the clerk, who started screaming hysterically and ran to the back room. We all remained frozen in line, until another grim-faced clerk appeared from the back with a bucket and mop, and handed them to the vomit-soaked girl. At this point, two older ladies took pity on her, and pulled out bottled water and kleenex from their handbags.

On the way out of the bank, there was an accident involving a chicken bus and a pole, but I didn't stick around; I'd had enough drama for one day.

Gyalist

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

This is disgusting more than crazy. I was once in a queue in Tesco behind a man with dreadlocks. The smell off of him was possibly the worst smell I've ever witnessed emanating from any living being.

I mention the dreadlocks because that must have been where the smell was coming from as hair with dreadlocks can't be washed. I'm sure he hadn't washed his hair in at least a year.

That will no doubt come as news to the scores of Rastas that I know in South America & the Caribbean who take maintenance of their locks very seriously and wash them daily.

southsiderosie

Gyalist wrote: »

That will no doubt come as news to the scores of Rastas that I know in South America & the Caribbean who take maintenance of their locks very seriously and wash them daily.

There does seem to be a significant number of trustafarians, however, who see growing dreadlocks, wearing Mexican ponchos, getting stupid tattoos, and not bathing as rites of passage in their 20s (or until daddy cuts them off). And the stink off of them is eight thousand times worse in hot countries.

Gyalist

southsiderosie wrote: »

There does seem to be a significant number of trustafarians, however, who see growing dreadlocks, wearing Mexican ponchos, getting stupid tattoos, and not bathing as rites of passage in their 20s. And the stink off of them is eight thousand times worse in hot countries.

Not everyone with dreads is a Rasta.

southsiderosie

Gyalist wrote: »

Not everyone with dreads is a Rasta.

Do you see the word "rastafarian" in my post? Look again.

punchdrunk

punchdrunk wrote: »

just yesterday,we had a guy run into our shop and grab a child out of a womans arms and try to run away with the kid,huge fight ensued

turns out he was the father and they had split up,and she wasn't letting him see the child on weekends so he tried to take her by force

queue about six guards showing up to sort out the situation...pure craziness!

I see what you did there

Terry

I was in the off licence earlier.
The girl behind the counter was of Indian descent.

My lodger was with me and I was buying his beer.
I brought mine to the counter. The brand my lodger wanted just at the edge of the store-room. He asked the girl if it was ok for him to go in there and pick up an 8 pack (the **** on the night before is known to be extremely lazy, and his co-workers despise him. The lodger didn't want to make this young lady go in and have to move a couple of trays of beer just because her co-worker was too lazy to stack them properly).

While he was picking up his 8 pack the young lady behind the counter asked me how to spell his chosen brand. She intended to type it out on the till to make things go a bit quicker because of the queue.

Umm. K-a-r... umm... p-a-c-k-i-e...
fine when you're dealing with Packie from down the road. Not so easy when you are dealing with someone from India or there-abouts.
I heard quite a few giggles from those in the queue.


Then there was the more awkward moment. Well, probably more sad and pathetic than awkward.
I went from the off licence to Jack's (the newsagents) to get the papers. Get the papers.
A mentally ill and physically ill woman from around the corner was at the top of the queue and she stank to high heaven.

Knowing of her illness, I didn't pass judgement. However the two people behind her were choking on the fumes.
After she left, Jack's daughter grabbed the air freshener and sprayed it around the shop.

She acknowledged the woman's illness and expressed sympathy, but pointed out that she had to think of the customers. The smell was really bad. She was right.

Another friend suggested that this woman be put in a home in order for her to be taken care of. I pointed out that she has two grown daughters. The friend then said that the daughters don't want to have anything to do with their mother.
I feel sad now.

Karpackie. That cheered me up a little.

southsiderosie

Terry wrote: »

I was in the off licence earlier.
The girl behind the counter was of Indian descent.

My lodger was with me and I was buying his beer.

Ok, stop right there. Is this the conspiracy theorist lodger that you were buying an 8-pack for?

Johro

Stinicker wrote: »

I was in a queue in America with a friend of mine, anyway two black teenagers skipped the queue and I shouted at them "no cutting the line" and this other totally unrelated big black guy threatens me with Racist rhetoric and then showed a knife, my friend quickly pulled out his concealed 9mm and pointed it straight into the scumbags face and made a citizens arrest, the piece of scum was on parole and went back in for a five year stretch.

Wow, like, totally freakin' awesome man!:rolleyes:

Johro

See.. This kinda thing never happens to me... I must pick the boring queues. Mostly I avoid them anyway.
Also the shops don't seem half as busy these days.;)

Johro

southsiderosie wrote: »

To make a long story short, was in line at the super-cheap grocery store, and the line next to me closed, so everyone rushed to queue up behind me. A bottle-blonde transvestite with radioactive spray-on tan won the scrum, prompting howls of protest from a troika of Spanish gypsy women who insisted that since the transvestite was behind them in the other line, she should get to the back of the new line. While this was going on behind me, a drunk man with a cellophane-wrapped donut that had at least four markdown stickers on it stepped in front of me and tried to pay for the donut. Well, I had about reached my limit and told him the end of the line was THAT WAY (points to back of long line), to which he responded "IT'S ONLY ONE ITEM!!!" and waved the donut in my face. When I said it wasn't fair to all the people behind me, the transvestite said "Well, if it's only one item", prompting new shrieks of despair from the gypsy women. At this point we all turned to the 16 year old clerk who looked at me, looked at the donut, announced "I have to do a price check" and ran off.

After about 30 seconds, the man collected his change and stomped off.

The clerk returned, innocently asked "oh, did he leave" and started ringing up my groceries while muttering "How stupid".

Moral of the story: cheap Greek yogurt is not worth the hassle of dealing with crazy people in Spanish supermarkets

Cool story..em.. Sis..

Terry

southsiderosie wrote: »

Ok, stop right there. Is this the conspiracy theorist lodger that you were buying an 8-pack for?

Yes. Beer tends to shut him up for a few hours.

recylingbin

southsiderosie wrote: »

...and while waiting in line, ended up in a queue-jumping confrontation involving myself, an angry drunk man, a transvestite, a family of gypsies, and a very stale chocolate donut. I wish I could say I was kidding.

At your fridge?
Weird.