I got a boner during a slow dance

Pope Benedict · 29-09-2010 12:41PM #1

I had occasion to attend a wedding just last weekend. It was a very classy affair and the evening was going down a treat. I don't usually indulge in the late night disco but on this occasion I had downed a cartload of wine. There came a slow dance, the rose by Bette Midler. I was dancing with a first cousin of the bride at the time and to my surprise she didn't leave the floor when the slow number came on. She was a petite brunette, striking to the naked eye. The problem arose about half way through when I experienced a perpendicular rush downstairs. The closeness of the embrace meant she felt it protruding straight away. She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified. I didn't apologise later, just stayed stumm. Should I have or is it best to pretend nothing happened in these instances? Anyone had a similar experience?

Biggins · 29-09-2010 12:41PM

Get a room - preferably a padded one and apply the manual solution! :P

SadieSue · 29-09-2010 12:42PM

She wanted nun of it!

At least she will remember you.. as being the pervert.

Funglegunk · 29-09-2010 12:43PM

At least it wasn't a young boy eh Benny?

kfallon · 29-09-2010 12:43PM

At least you know it was in good working order and was 'up for the cup'!
Were you getting the horn for your dance partner or Bette Midler???

Snakeblood · 29-09-2010 12:44PM

You should have loudly explained that it's her fault for dressing like a whore.

fonecrusher1 · 29-09-2010 12:44PM

Congrats.

maybe she got a horn as well?:eek:

Loopy · 29-09-2010 12:44PM

In before the cock lock

moonshinerocks · 29-09-2010 12:45PM

You poor thing! If I had been that girl I would have been off that dancefloor sharpish too! Good thing she wasn't related to you - THAT would have been embarrassing! Hopefully you'll never have to see her again and you can look back and laugh.

Biggins · 29-09-2010 12:45PM

Aaa... well. He rose to the occasion.

kfallon · 29-09-2010 12:46PM

You should have said it was still limp/flacid, she'd have been impressed and would prob have wanted to see it standing to attention!

Ok you'd have had to explain it to her in the car park or in the hotel room but she'd gone that far she may aswell have let you give her a shot of the shillelagh!!!

petes · 29-09-2010 12:47PM

Are you sure it wan't your first cousin?

GavRedKing · 29-09-2010 12:47PM

You should have asked her was she impressed, by evidence of her leaving im going guess not.

Hannibal Smith · 29-09-2010 12:53PM

didn't she fancy putting her hand up your own dress, your eminence?

ooPabsoo · 29-09-2010 12:54PM

"Mr. Pope Benedict, you have a massive erection. Really? Yes, I do. Um...I'm sorry, it's the...it's the pleats. Mm. It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to the pants store. Well I'm gonna go walk it off. Don't act like you're not impressed!.."

starbelgrade · 29-09-2010 12:54PM

I personally wouldn't press my giant throbbing member against a girl during a slow dance. It's called manners.

You should wait until she's drunk.

kfallon · 29-09-2010 12:55PM

starbelgrade wrote: »

I personally wouldn't press my giant throbbing member against a girl during a slow dance. It's called manners.

You should wait until she's drunk.

Surely nobody would be out slow dancing unless they were drunk in the first place?????

gbee · 29-09-2010 12:56PM

Pope Benedict wrote: »

She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified.

Don't go all guilty on yourself, I used to suffer from this all the time, it was so extreme that even being introduced to a woman would bring it on.

I'm at that age now that those times seem like Heaven and I really miss them. So Viagra can help but it's not the same.

I used to be so embarrassed that I now believe I' developed a Psychological condition which has emphasised the physiological conditions in later life due to my attempts to suppress erections and being extremely embarrassed by them.

Daroxtar · 29-09-2010 12:59PM

senordingdong · 29-09-2010 01:00PM

OP, did you ask her to dance or did she ask you?

phill106 · 29-09-2010 01:03PM

Are you sure she didnt slip her room key in your back pocket?

Duggy747 · 29-09-2010 01:04PM

Ouch!

You should've tried 2 options to get yourself out of such an embarrasing situation:

Drop the hand
"Wanna go out back and pull me off?"

Mint Sauce · 29-09-2010 01:08PM

you sure you weren't the groom?

Scuid Mhór · 29-09-2010 01:10PM

poor girl's probably traumatised for life.

LittleLebowski · 29-09-2010 01:11PM

If she didnt get that you wanted to do the verticle dance (of love) then she wasnt worth the blood you so kindly redirected for her.

Sykk · 29-09-2010 01:12PM

I thought you said "I was dancing with a first cousin".. Until I read on.. Story would have been so much more exciting

Sea Sharp · 29-09-2010 01:12PM

Happens to the best of us OP. Maybe you shouldn't be pressing your crotch up against people in slow dances. Keep a *insert cock size* distance in future.