I got a boner during a slow dance

Pope Benedict

I had occasion to attend a wedding just last weekend. It was a very classy affair and the evening was going down a treat. I don't usually indulge in the late night disco but on this occasion I had downed a cartload of wine. There came a slow dance, the rose by Bette Midler. I was dancing with a first cousin of the bride at the time and to my surprise she didn't leave the floor when the slow number came on. She was a petite brunette, striking to the naked eye. The problem arose about half way through when I experienced a perpendicular rush downstairs. The closeness of the embrace meant she felt it protruding straight away. She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified. I didn't apologise later, just stayed stumm. Should I have or is it best to pretend nothing happened in these instances? Anyone had a similar experience?

Biggins

Get a room - preferably a padded one and apply the manual solution! :P

SadieSue

She wanted nun of it!

At least she will remember you.. as being the pervert.

Funglegunk

At least it wasn't a young boy eh Benny?

kfallon

At least you know it was in good working order and was 'up for the cup'!
Were you getting the horn for your dance partner or Bette Midler???

Snakeblood

You should have loudly explained that it's her fault for dressing like a whore.

fonecrusher1

Congrats.

maybe she got a horn as well?:eek:

Loopy

In before the cock lock

moonshinerocks

You poor thing! If I had been that girl I would have been off that dancefloor sharpish too! Good thing she wasn't related to you - THAT would have been embarrassing! Hopefully you'll never have to see her again and you can look back and laugh.

Biggins

Aaa... well. He rose to the occasion.

kfallon

You should have said it was still limp/flacid, she'd have been impressed and would prob have wanted to see it standing to attention!

Ok you'd have had to explain it to her in the car park or in the hotel room but she'd gone that far she may aswell have let you give her a shot of the shillelagh!!!

petes

Are you sure it wan't your first cousin?

GavRedKing

You should have asked her was she impressed, by evidence of her leaving im going guess not.

Hannibal Smith

didn't she fancy putting her hand up your own dress, your eminence?

ooPabsoo

"Mr. Pope Benedict, you have a massive erection. Really? Yes, I do. Um...I'm sorry, it's the...it's the pleats. Mm. It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to the pants store. Well I'm gonna go walk it off. Don't act like you're not impressed!.."

starbelgrade

I personally wouldn't press my giant throbbing member against a girl during a slow dance. It's called manners.

You should wait until she's drunk.

kfallon

starbelgrade wrote: »

I personally wouldn't press my giant throbbing member against a girl during a slow dance. It's called manners.

You should wait until she's drunk.

Surely nobody would be out slow dancing unless they were drunk in the first place?????

gbee

Pope Benedict wrote: »

She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified.

Don't go all guilty on yourself, I used to suffer from this all the time, it was so extreme that even being introduced to a woman would bring it on.

I'm at that age now that those times seem like Heaven and I really miss them. So Viagra can help but it's not the same.

I used to be so embarrassed that I now believe I' developed a Psychological condition which has emphasised the physiological conditions in later life due to my attempts to suppress erections and being extremely embarrassed by them.

Daroxtar

senordingdong

OP, did you ask her to dance or did she ask you?

phill106

Are you sure she didnt slip her room key in your back pocket?

Duggy747

Ouch!

You should've tried 2 options to get yourself out of such an embarrasing situation:

1. Drop the hand
   
2. "Wanna go out back and pull me off?"

Mint Sauce

you sure you weren't the groom?

Scuid Mhór

poor girl's probably traumatised for life.

LittleLebowski

If she didnt get that you wanted to do the verticle dance (of love) then she wasnt worth the blood you so kindly redirected for her.

Sykk

I thought you said "I was dancing with a first cousin".. Until I read on.. Story would have been so much more exciting

Sea Sharp

Happens to the best of us OP. Maybe you shouldn't be pressing your crotch up against people in slow dances. Keep a *insert cock size* distance in future.

senordingdong

I'd have taken it as a compliment.

phill106

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Maybe you shouldn't be pressing your crotch up against people in slow dances.

But...But...thats how father o'malley taught us how to dance

Jumpy

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Keep a *insert cock size* distance in future.

BUT THEN I WOULD HAVE TO SHOUT LIKE THIS FOR HER TO HEAR ME


Cause I have a massive cock like.
















Haha just kidding. Its tiny.

AdMMM

You didn't drink enough! Another cart load of wine and the poor thing wouldn't have woken up for at least a few hours!

bonerm

Pope Benedict wrote: »

I had occasion to attend a wedding just last weekend. It was a very classy affair and the evening was going down a treat. I don't usually indulge in the late night disco but on this occasion I had downed a cartload of wine. There came a slow dance, the rose by Bette Midler. I was dancing with a first cousin of the bride at the time and to my surprise she didn't leave the floor when the slow number came on. She was a petite brunette, striking to the naked eye. The problem arose about half way through when I experienced a perpendicular rush downstairs. The closeness of the embrace meant she felt it protruding straight away. She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified. I didn't apologise later, just stayed stumm. Should I have or is it best to pretend nothing happened in these instances? Anyone had a similar experience?

Let this be a lesson to stay away from the flower-girl in future.

clived2

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Happens to the best of us OP. Maybe you shouldn't be pressing your crotch up against people in slow dances. Keep a *insert cock size* distance in future.

Peolple would look at me funny dancing like this

http://www.workforceinteractive.com/Portals/0/Man%20bending%20over%20backwards%20over%20PC.jpg

Bus77II

Same thing happened to me OP. I wasn't embarrassed at all until someone sent me the photo.

fonecrusher1

Sykk wrote: »

I thought you said "I was dancing with a first cousin".. Until I read on.. Story would have been so much more exciting

huh???

Sykk

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

huh???

You heard me! :pac:

Jumpy

Sykk wrote: »

You heard me! :pac:

Shelbyville scum!

fonecrusher1

Sykk wrote: »

You heard me! :pac:

Crumbs! you'd have hit the roof if he'd said it was his sister....

--Kaiser--

Pope Benedict wrote: »

he closeness of the embrace meant she felt it protruding straight away. She politely asked to finish the dance and I was left standing there mortified.

Pfffft, Lesbian

kfallon

Pope Benedict wrote: »

The closeness of the embrace meant she felt it protruding straight away. She politely asked to finish the dancemyself off and I was left standing there mortified.

Fixed!

jackiebaron

This happens to me all the time. You're supposed to run up behind her as she's leaving and constantly prod your erect mutton dagger against her bum-cheeks. 50% of them box you but the other 50% give in :pac:

bryaner

In the famous words of Jack Nicholson never waste a good boner..

Cypher_sounds

So she went walked off as soon as she seen your boner, and you didnt follow her back to her room?? bet she thinks you made a right fool out of her thinking she was going to get lucky lol

Scuid Mhór

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Pfffft, Lesbian

nothing to be ashamed of.

--Kaiser--

Giant Squid wrote: »

nothing to be ashamed of.

Was being facetious as it happens

Canis Lupus

Giant Squid wrote: »

nothing to be ashamed of.

Depends if you're the girly one or the butch one.

La_Gordy

Pope Benedict wrote: »

? Anyone had a similar experience?

At my cousin's wedding, I was dancing with the best looking girl in Baltinglass' husband and he got a hard on. I felt fantastic.

Pope Benedict

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Happens to the best of us OP. Maybe you shouldn't be pressing your crotch up against people in slow dances. Keep a *insert cock size* distance in future.

The problem was it was all too fast. We are talking 3 seconds from rise to peak here. If I had a longer hatching period then I could have made an excuse and waddled to my table or something. I have been getting awkward looks from her circle of friends ever since so I am certain she has regaled them all with the tale of 'benny's boner'.

grizzly

I'm surprised she didn't beat you off!

--Kaiser--

Pope Benedict wrote: »

I have been getting awkward looks from her circle of friends ever since so I am certain she has regaled them all with the tale of 'benny's boner'.

Wouldn't worry about to be honest *



























*unless it's really small

Duggy747

Pope Benedict wrote: »

I have been getting awkward looks from her circle of friends ever since so I am certain she has regaled them all with the tale of 'benny's boner'.

Fùck her and her whore friends! Damn wimmen don't know the perils of an insta-hard-on.

Imagine how they would feel if their nipples or clit suddenly sprang up, solid as a rock? We'd..................uh.................we..................we'd probably like that :pac: