Did You Have A Strict Upbringing?

anniehoo · 24-09-2010 11:28AM

My name is URL wrote: »

As a punishment I wasn't allowed to go on holiday to Italy with the family, was sent to stay with my aunt instead..

Wow...harsh!

Millie · 24-09-2010 11:29AM

My parents were relaxed enough but my Dad was a bit old fashioned and was a bit weird about boyfriends and drinking etc.
Other than that I had it pretty good, a nice bit of leeway but would be quickly put in my place if I went out of bounds.

starbelgrade · 24-09-2010 11:32AM

My parents are really cool. 3 years ago they let me have my own bedroom, so I no longer have to sleep in my parents bed.

Next year for my birthday, they promised to buy me my own television. I can't wait - I have been looking forward to it for nearly 30 years.

fabbydabby · 24-09-2010 11:39AM

God I don't know what I'd do if i had a kid like me... my poor mother. Patience of a saint that woman. I was constantly in trouble, but for fairly harmless stuff... not dealing heroin or anything... just constantly in trouble. Suspended from school, dossing, telling teachers to go fk themselves (only the ones that deserved it mind you)...

Incidentally, I see the approach some kids' parents on page 2 took with them with respect to alcohol, i.e. try a glass of beer at home and you'd be less inclined to drink a flagon of devil's bastard in a ditch somewhere... well I did both actually so I can safely say that approach didnt work. I used to ate the smokes as well so I did. What a fkin eejit, I suppose I thought I was deadly at the time.

I have seen kids with very strict upbringings go off the wall altogether in college (which is round the time I started getting some sense) so you have to hit the balance I suppose.

i guess I just can't stand getting told what to do.

Rebel021 · 24-09-2010 11:39AM

My dad was very hard on me and my siblings.
To this day we all have a very strained relationship with him.

easyeason3 · 24-09-2010 11:42AM

Rebel021 wrote: »

My dad was very hard on me and my siblings.
To this day we all have a very strained relationship with him.

Thank God someone else said they had a hard time.
I was feeling very lonely there for a while.

Flojo · 24-09-2010 11:48AM

Very difficult upbringing. Made me who I am today though so I wouldn't change it.

kfallon · 24-09-2010 11:56AM

Flojo wrote: »

Very difficult upbringing. Made me who I am today though so I wouldn't change it.

A double Olympic Champion???

Mint Sauce · 24-09-2010 12:11PM

Not overly strict, i got away with the odd thing, but got a slap or the sole of the shoe when i deserved it or if out of line. Grew up knowing the difference between right and wrong, learned to repsect people, and learned from my mistakes.

brummytom wrote: »

The only thing I'd say they're a lot stricter on than any other family I know is swearing - it's just something that's never been allowed in our house, and I wouldn't dream of ever swearing in front of them. But mom saw me swearing on facebook recently, and she wasn't annoyed about it, just unhappy that some of our more 'conservative' relations might see it.
Fuck em.

lets hope they never see your boards account then

bodun · 24-09-2010 12:12PM

kfallon wrote: »

A double Olympic Champion???

And dead?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flojo

apkbarry · 24-09-2010 12:13PM

I never had a strict upbringing.
I ran around naked on the streets, broke glass tables, hid under tables ins chool etc etc... Guards were called :S
That was when I lived in town.

We moved out into the countryside and in my new school (much smaller) there was more control over me,
I wasn't hyper.
Then as I got even older the only rule was:
"You can do what you like, just don't have the guards at my door"
Only rule mum had was no Motorbikes or drugs..
She doesn't mind me drinking (at 17) as long as I dont get wasted, or stay somewhere without telling her,
She even asked me did I try drugs ever... WHich i havent.

So yeah, amazing what a change in environment could do?

Lando Griffin · 24-09-2010 12:22PM

My parents were not strict but would lay down the law.
Myself and the brother were right little feckers, but raised on a farm we would be sent off doing the turf and milking the cows, but we would end up acting the eejit.
Fair play to Dad, when the bro hit 17 he bought him a banger for about 100 pounds and both of us got a job to pay to make it roadworthy and get insurance.
He got up once at 3.30am in the morning to pull us out of a drain coming home from the night club.
He then advised us that for every 1 mile of road there are 2 miles of ditches.
Mammy was the problematic one though, always comparing us to the other children in the neighbourhood and wanting us to emulate them. This caused grief because in the neighbourhood was an All Ireland Irish dancing family, A family who nearly won Mike Murphys quiz M and another one went really far on Know your Sport.
Us, in her ambitious mind, reduced ourselves to toppin thistles, milking cows, cutting silage and having the crack.

ToxicPaddy · 24-09-2010 12:26PM

Sanjuro wrote: »

Yeah, mine was pretty damn strict. Guess that came from being the son of a former military man. Strict regimen of chores which were deliberately made difficult to... well I'm not sure why they were made difficult.

For example. We had a large back-garden with this massive tree that shat leaves all year round. As part of my scheduled tasks, I was made rake up the leaves every day. Being an enterprising 12 year old, I found that the rake I was given was a load of shite, so I got the lawn-mower, raised the blades so it wouldn't cut the grass, and basically hoovered up the leaves, completing the task in about a tenth of the time. I thought I was fucking Edison in how inventive I was. When my da found out, he banned the lawn-mower and got a rake that had less prongs on it so the task became twice as difficult. Sure, character building. But now I have an intense hatred for leaves. And rakes.

Man thats harsh, I would have praised a child of mine (if I had any) for using their initiative and thinking of time saving solution like that rather than punish them.. then I would find some more mind numbing chores for them to do and see if they can come up with an alternative solution..

My parents werent too strict but they did make sure you knew the value of money and hard work.. I still get on very well with both of them.. even more so since I moved out on my own..

edwardhitler · 24-09-2010 12:26PM

Two words, WOODEN SPOON, i still quiver!!

ToxicPaddy · 24-09-2010 12:29PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

..Mammy was the problematic one though, always comparing us to the other children in the neighbourhood and wanting us to emulate them...

Yup I had that too, but now its "I'm so glad you didn't turn out like such and such, you would have been such a disappointment to me if you did.. women eh? Ya can't win.. :P

Flojo · 24-09-2010 12:30PM

kfallon wrote: »

A double Olympic Champion???

You know it!

bodun wrote: »

And dead?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flojo

What can I say... I'm just that awesome!

PS: Didn't even know who she was until after I picked the name. Tis a nick my aunt gave me.

kfallon · 24-09-2010 12:31PM

Flojo wrote: »

You know it!

What can I say... I'm just that awesome!

PS: Didn't even know who she was until after I picked the name. Tis a nick my aunt gave me.

Obviously your aunt knew who she was tho!

ToxicPaddy · 24-09-2010 12:32PM

edwardhitler wrote: »

Two words, WOODEN SPOON, i still quiver!!

Used to happen to me, until my mother when to hit me with one, I put up my arm to defend myself and it broke in two.. she just stopped, looked at it, I turned and said, now thats what you get and stormed off.. she burst out laughing, I was about 8 at the time, that was the last if the wooden spoon..

Ahh the memories are flooding back in the thread..

Flojo · 24-09-2010 12:34PM

kfallon wrote: »

Obviously your aunt knew who she was tho!

Probably but my names Flóra so... yeah!

edwardhitler · 24-09-2010 12:38PM

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

Used to happen to me, until my mother when to hit me with one, I put up my arm to defend myself and it broke in two.. she just stopped, looked at it, I turned and said, now thats what you get and stormed off.. she burst out laughing, I was about 8 at the time, that was the last if the wooden spoon..

Ahh the memories are flooding back in the thread..

HAHA, i think it mostly mothers that were armed with the wooden spoon! My mam was defo not efficient with the WS, she broke a few on us. My dads weapon of choice was the the good old tried and tested fist!!!

24-09-2010 12:40PM

Not really at all compared to most kids I knew. My Dad (who lives in France, we lived with him during the summer/other school breaks) is not strict AT ALL. I mean he's a good parent but treated us like adults from a very young age. Don't know whether that was a good or bad thing!

I used to think my Mother was strict. She used to make us come in in the evenings a lot earlier than other kids in our area. She also made us go to bed very early on school nights when we were younger. She was also pretty strict about what we ate

But otherwise than that she's grand. My brother (who is 18) and myself can do whatever we want know.

But I know loads of people who are my age (21) and are still completely whipped by their parents! I think once you live out of home you should be able to do what you want. I respect the idea of house rules and all that but when you've moved out it's just ridiculous.

sassa · 24-09-2010 12:45PM

Oh god yes! I once got a slap in the face and grounded for a month cos they heard me say budweiser! of course that meant i was drinking (which was ridiculous since i wasnt allowed go out anyway to be drinking in the first place

)

kfallon · 24-09-2010 12:47PM

Flojo wrote: »

Probably but my names Flóra so... yeah!

Don't butter up to me

Anyone know a Betty Swallocks by any chance???

stovelid · 24-09-2010 01:15PM

edwardhitler wrote: »

Two words, WOODEN SPOON, i still quiver!!

Try lube?

Mrmoe · 24-09-2010 01:16PM

It is hard to gauge, I rarely did anything bad but definitely did not get a free leash. Lots of work assigned and little time to go out.

Snakeblood · 24-09-2010 01:19PM

Motley Crue wrote: »

Last night I got into conversation with my Mum. I've never had the best relationship with her, although it's been strained over the years, it ironically got better once I'd moved out of the house and wasn't under her feet every day. My siblings still live there, but that's another story, and we spoke about finding out recently that a relative has gotten into trouble.

I won't say what the trouble was, but it was a big deal, big enough of a deal for her to call me and tell me.

This lead to the conversation of my upbringing, and her asking me for the first time in my life whether she taught I had been too hard on us (myself and my siblings) as a child. I always maintained, especially as a teenager, that my mother had been absurdly hard on me. She was never abuse, but her attitude towards me had always been stricter then with anyone else, and maybe because I was the oldest.

But it got me thinking, would people here say they've had good relationships with their parents - and continue to do so - or would people say that with childhood behind them their relationship with their parents is only beginning to get off on the right foot. I told my mother personally that I didn't hate her in the slightest, but I'm not sure if she believes me, I'm not sure that after everything that happens if we will ever have what you would call a "normal" relationship.

Reminds me of that song 'In the Living Years' by Mike and the Mechanics, although somewhat ironically, I've never had a problem with my Dad

I've generally had a good relationship with my folks. THey were never hard on me, but I think they could have been a bit stricter overseeing some things, like schoolwork and brushing my teeth when I was very young. They also missed some stuff when I was growing up that was fairly traumatic for me then (and to a lesser extent now) and I'll probably try to be as affectionate, but with a little more hands on approach. Within reason.

Flojo · 24-09-2010 02:03PM

kfallon wrote: »

Anyone know a Betty Swallocks by any chance???

That can't be a real person... please tell me it's not! If it is their parents are geniuses! :pac:

spacetweek · 24-09-2010 04:56PM

Snakeblood wrote: »

They also missed some stuff when I was growing up that was fairly traumatic for me then (and to a lesser extent now) and I'll probably try to be as affectionate, but with a little more hands on approach. Within reason.

What do you mean exactly - they weren't affectionate enough? Most Irish people weren't too touchy feely back in the day, still aren't a lot of the time. My parents were good for that when we were young but withdrew a lot as we got older, though it was mainly at my behest. In the last few years me and my bro/sis have gotten physically affectionate with our parents again after a gap of 15 years.

easyeason3 · 24-09-2010 05:00PM

spacetweek wrote: »

What do you mean exactly - they weren't affectionate enough? Most Irish people weren't too touchy feely back in the day, still aren't a lot of the time. My parents were good for that when we were young but withdrew a lot as we got older, though it was mainly at my behest. In the last few years me and my bro/sis have gotten physically affectionate with our parents again after a gap of 15 years.[/QUOTE]

This line is deeply disturbing to me.
It's probably innocent but I can't help thinking 'incest'.

Novella · 24-09-2010 05:10PM

When I was younger, I was convinced my mam was really strict. I honestly thought she just didn't want me to have any fun at all, but tbh, as a teenager, I was an absolute pain. I definitely hung around with people who weren't good for me, and got into all kinds of trouble and now I know that all of the times I thought she was being a bitch... she was just trying to protect me.

Did You Have A Strict Upbringing?

Comments