I hate engagement ring shopping!!!! :mad:

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:16PM #1

My boyfriend proposed at the weekend; great big shock cos we're together years and I'd given up on it ever happening, but it has, and now I have to choose a ring(proposal was with a one he got in Next:p)

So I've been looking since, and I HATE it, I just HATE it. It is the least most enjoyable shopping experience I have ever had. I don't have a clue, but I know what looks crap on my hand, and I'm sick of having sh1tty rings foisted on me, when even I know they look terrible. I'm not really interested in jewellery, but that seems to equate to 'lets trot out the most boring ring we have in the shop cos she doesn't care anyway'. Trays and trays of rings being brought to me, and me too polite to tell then I hate them all, so instead I hum and haw over them all:o

We have a decent budget, about 20k, or at least I think that's decent

I just want a nice ring, but I'm hating the experience so far, I was almost in tears in a shop today cos I'm so clueless and they expected me to know what I wanted. Is it normal to be like this?? I don't even want to be engaged right now:(

Pinky99 · 22-09-2010 09:25PM

Eliza Dolittle wrote: »

My boyfriend proposed at the weekend; great big shock cos we're together years and I'd given up on it ever happening, but it has, and now I have to choose a ring(proposal was with a one he got in Next:p)

So I've been looking since, and I HATE it, I just HATE it. It is the least most enjoyable shopping experience I have ever had. I don't have a clue, but I know what looks crap on my hand, and I'm sick of having sh1tty rings foisted on me, when even I know they look terrible. I'm not really interested in jewellery, but that seems to equate to 'lets trot out the most boring ring we have in the shop cos she doesn't care anyway'. Trays and trays of rings being brought to me, and me too polite to tell then I hate them all, so instead I hum and haw over them all:o

We have a decent budget, about 20k, or at least I think that's decent

I just want a nice ring, but I'm hating the experience so far, I was almost in tears in a shop today cos I'm so clueless and they expected me to know what I wanted. Is it normal to be like this?? I don't even want to be engaged right now:(

€20 grand for a ring, Thats a lot for an engagement ring. You should enjoy the experience though, You don't have to look straight away for a ring, you could always pick a few shops that you think you might like the ring from and have a look at them on the internet and get a few ideas instead of the assistants pushing rings and you might get see a few you like and then you could have a look then. I would love if my boyfriend proposed to me, we are together over 9 years but unfortunately we have both lost our jobs (me more recently) so we wont be getting engaged for another few years. Enjoy looking for rings

lynski · 22-09-2010 09:28PM

Dont bother, spend it on something you do love. we are married over 6 yrs now and never got 'engaged'
we bought a beautiful white gold and diamond ring eternity ring as a wedding ring instead.

seithon · 22-09-2010 09:30PM

20k for a ring >.>
Are you mad? Well I suppose if you can afford it and have nothing better to spend it on but still.. Either way get something without diamonds

Or as the other poster suggested, get something else that would mean more to the both of you?

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:32PM

Pinky99 wrote: »

€20 grand for a ring, Thats a lot for an engagement ring. You should enjoy the experience though, You don't have to look straight away for a ring, you could always pick a few shops that you think you might like the ring from and have a look at them on the internet and get a few ideas instead of the assistants pushing rings and you might get see a few you like and then you could have a look then. I would love if my boyfriend proposed to me, we are together over 9 years but unfortunately we have both lost our jobs (me more recently) so we wont be getting engaged for another few years. Enjoy looking for rings

Is it a good budget?? One shop made out like it was a rubbish budget???

I'd just like to have the ring for when we go official with the announcement; I have been looking online but what looks good online hasn't looked so good in reality. I'm really not enjoying the experience; I saw a ring in a shop on Sunday and I thinking of just going with it because I really cannot handle the stress of this, it has me totally befuddled.....how am I going to cope with planning a wedding LOL:D

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:35PM

seithon wrote: »

20k for a ring >.>
Are you mad? Well I suppose if you can afford it and have nothing better to spend it on but still.. Either way get something without diamonds Or as the other poster suggested, get something else that would mean more to the both of you?

My partner really wants me to have a ring. I tried to suggest this last night but he really wants me to have one; it seems to be quite important to him. I'd rather a puppy or a kitten tbh:p

Limerickgal82 · 22-09-2010 09:36PM

My question is do you even need a ring ?? If you do feel you need get something you love and don't let them pressure you ! I would advise not to spend 20K on a ring.. maybe put the majority if of the money towards your wedding !

tinkerbell · 22-09-2010 09:40PM

If you're spending €20k on a ring then you obviously have a lot of money anyway, so money isn't an issue

Go into Tiffany! It's in Brown Thomas, and you can get an amazing ring in there for that price. Cartier is there too beside it if you'd like to visit there.

If you're spending €20k though it should be an enjoyable experience!

Acoshla · 22-09-2010 09:40PM

OP most people would consider €5,000 to be a fairly substantial budget for a ring, never mind 20k! If you're not overly interested in a huge diamond why not take the budget down a (mahoosive) bit and get something simple that you like, and spend the rest on something else, the wedding, the honeymoon, etc?

itsnotmyname · 22-09-2010 09:41PM

Why not let your fiance choose the ring ? ......might ease the stress for you !

Pinky99 · 22-09-2010 09:41PM

Eliza Dolittle wrote: »

Is it a good budget?? One shop made out like it was a rubbish budget???

I'd just like to have the ring for when we go official with the announcement; I have been looking online but what looks good online hasn't looked so good in reality. I'm really not enjoying the experience; I saw a ring in a shop on Sunday and I thinking of just going with it because I really cannot handle the stress of this, it has me totally befuddled.....how am I going to cope with planning a wedding LOL:D

20 grand is in my opinion is way too much for an engagement ring but if your partner can afford it then lucky you but you don't have to get a ring for that much, alot of people in my opinion don't go for really expensive engagement rings anymore, Id say that if my boyfriend proposed his limit could be about 2 grand if i'm lucky haha but the main thing is get something that you really like and that you feel looks good on your finger and that you are happy with. Don't rush into picking one cos you feel you have to get it right away you can always say to your friends/family that you are engaged and that you are looking for a ring but haven't found the right one yet.

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:41PM

Limerickgal82 wrote: »

My question is do you even need a ring ?? If you do feel you need get something you love and don't let them pressure you ! I would advise not to spend 20K on a ring.. maybe put the majority if of the money towards your wedding !

See, I'm not into the whole big day, and he's a widower so even if I wanted we couldn't go too mad anyways, so he really wants me to have a nice rock to make up for it all.

I am REALLY hating shopping for one tho; I thought it would be enjoyable; but it's horrible:(

Limerickgal82 · 22-09-2010 09:43PM

Then maybe leave the shopping for a few weeks !! De stress and start again

it should be a fun experience!!! Maybe think about getting a ring made ???

Whispered · 22-09-2010 09:46PM

20k is a great budget. My ring was a tenth of that haha. (I love it!)

Why not treat yourself to a holiday somewhere duty free with some of the money and get your dream ring made. I'd say you certainly have enough in 20K for that and you'd have a really lovely shopping experience.

Congratulations!

munstergirl · 22-09-2010 09:46PM

Just want to add are you nuts paying 20k for a ring!

its only a stone at the end of the day.

Congratulations on your engagement. Wear your next ring for now

www.shopdi.com have a huge selection of rings, (not to purchase as its a USA company) but they have huge variety.

Its all what suits your fingers, style. It does not matter what you spend as long as your happy.

Jenroche · 22-09-2010 09:50PM

Take your time. Do some research to find out what you really like and please don't feel pressured. Any shop that looks down their nose at you *only* having 20k (which I feel is way too much, tbh) to spend on a ring doesn't deserve your custom. They should be counting themselves lucky to get your business in this day and age. Remember....you will be the one wearing that ring for years to come so make sure it is one you will like and don't be talked into something you don't want. Have you considered antique jewellery? There are some beautiful pieces out there.

Jen ;->

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:50PM

He has a farm so getting away isn't the easiest for us. We might manage Antwerp, but if I'm not enjoying the jewellers here how would I enjoy the grandscale of diamonds that Antwerp would have!!!

I just didn't think the process would be so hard. I just feel like stuff is being pushed on me for the sake of it in a lot of these shops:(

shortie_chik · 22-09-2010 09:52PM

Even if your budget is 20k, you don't have to spend the whole amount! This seems like enough to pay for a whole wedding IMO! :eek:

I'd avoid Tiffanys. I'm not engaged or anything, but their jewellery is so overpriced! You could go on a short trip to Antwerp or New York's Diamond District & get something made up specially for you, much better value than Tiffanys (although yes we should be spending our money at home blah blah blah...) and have a little holiday together at the same time

baldbear · 22-09-2010 09:53PM

20k for a ring? OOHHHHHHH theres no recession in your house!:D

Maybe look online, print off a nice looking one and head to a shop with it. or go for something cool in an antique shop.

Don't get one of those blood diamonds anyway!

Whispered · 22-09-2010 09:55PM

shortie_chik wrote: »

Even if your budget is 20k, you don't have to spend the whole amount! This seems like enough to pay for a whole wedding IMO! :eek:

Easily! Our budget is less than this for the wedding. But money is obviously not a problem so she may as well enjoy it. (lucky girl!!)

Eliza Dolittle · 22-09-2010 09:57PM

Well, I don't have to spend the whole amount:D

And he'd probably prefer I didn't:p

I've not really looked at antique rings yet; I will be looking at some on Friday tho. Maybe that might be a nicer experience

Cessie322 · 22-09-2010 10:11PM

Eliza Dolittle wrote: »

Well, I don't have to spend the whole amount:D

And he'd probably prefer I didn't:p

I've not really looked at antique rings yet; I will be looking at some on Friday tho. Maybe that might be a nicer experience

Antique rings are fab. I got mine in a shop in Powerscourt Townhouse. Was looking at some yesterday and they are just fab. Farringtons near George's St arcade have lovely ones as well. 20k is a huge budget, you'd get something lovely for way less than that.

niceoneted · 22-09-2010 11:56PM

Where are you looking for the rings? Are you in a small town where the staff know you or in the city. You perhaps need to go to a reputable store in the city to get a good service. I have no personal experience but just what I hear from friends and colleagues.
I always maintained I would not get an engagement ring. My sister didn't either and her wedding ring is raised in the centre and she has a diamond, ruby and emerald stones in it. It's fab.
check out http://www.boodles.com/ they have some lovely stuff.

peggie · 23-09-2010 07:53AM

congratulations on your engagement, i hope that you start enjoying the 'ride' soon

i didn't get an engagement ring, partly because of financial concerns but mostly because i never pictured myself with one and never had any desire for one to be honest.

i'm getting married in december and we have our wedding rings already sitting in the drawer.

i think i get where you're coming from, i have fat fingers- as in chubby where the rings goes so i was convinced that all rings made my finger look fat- it didn't help that when i went to try rings on none fitted as my finger was bigger than the sample rings they had- def not a fun experience!! in the end i got it made and just got the size from a jewelers but of all the rings i tried on in one shop it was a ring from the gift rings section i liked more than any of the wedding rings!- it was was cheaper but that wasn't what i liked about it -it was that basically my finger didn't look like it had a muffin top over it so even though it was different it would prob have been the one i would have bought if i hadn't got the one i got made. it was gold but i could have had it made with a diamond if i wanted- couldn't get my head around wearing a diamond though so didn't get one

best of luck with the shopping- to agree with others tell the shop your budget is 5k, as i'd think they have more choice at that price point
you can always up the spec of the ring once you have picked a style
peg

Kimono-Girl · 23-09-2010 10:31AM

Eliza Dolittle wrote: »

Well, I don't have to spend the whole amount:D

And he'd probably prefer I didn't:p

I've not really looked at antique rings yet; I will be looking at some on Friday tho. Maybe that might be a nicer experience

Just my opinion but maybe it would help you,

are you telling them you have a budget of 20k? it might seem pathetic but it might be the reason they are throwing random rings at you, (jealousy is never a good thing) so maybe if you try telling them your budget is 2-5k but you might be able to stretch to more

(plus there are some gorgeous rings at those prices) you may get a better attitude from sales staff....

by the way congratulations on your engagement and enjoy your shopping experience remember its all about you

Goblindancer · 23-09-2010 10:43AM

Hi there.

I got an antique diamond in Ruth Eleanors (now closed) on Nassau street.

I had the same thing as you, hated all the rings in the shops, and found the whole experience horrible anyway, it took me over 6 months to find a ring. I happened into this little family owned business one day and was smitten. They remembered us years after. It was a lovely experience.

We had nothing like your budget, but I agree with other posters - just get something you really love. For me, that was something unique, pretty and romantic with character and history. So many people I meet are also entranced and inspired by it.

For me, another option I was considering was getting a handmade one commissioned, another lovely thing to do, supporting the arts etc.

Good luck, keep an open mind, don't be afraid to trust your instincts.

BC · 23-09-2010 01:31PM

Congrats on the engagement OP!
Just wanted to echo what the others said, 20K is a LOT for a ring!

I notice that you said you're too polite to tell them if you don't like a ring. Don't be, they won't be offended!!! The whole point is to find one that you like. The more you tell them what you don't like, the more it can be narrowed down to selections that you do like. Don't be afraid to say exactly what you think!

I agree with the other posters about taking your time and doing lots of research too. Look at rings online and get an idea of the sort of thing you might like. Also, if you like bits and pieces of different rings, take note of what you do like. You could always take that info to one of the places that makes rings and design your own.

Thumpette · 23-09-2010 03:13PM

20k for a ring :O I cant even begin to imagine what a 20k ring would look like!

Regardless though- if ye can afford it go for it!

From reviews on weddingsonline I would recommend this guy... http://www.voltairediamonds.ie/

He gets nothing but great reviews and some of the rings on his website are gorgeous. I've not used him myself but i would think he would be worth a look.

Enjoy the planning!

(I'd agree with not telling places your budget- even if you said you are somewhat flexible on budget at least then places wont fall over themselves showing only their top lines)

tinkerbell · 23-09-2010 06:12PM

*sigh*

It's really bugging me that most of the posts in this thread are on the lines of OMG you are crazy to spend €20k on a ring. Jees, some people are well off and can very well afford it and nobody should be telling them that spending €20k on a ring is nuts.

OP, spend what you like. If your OH can afford to spend €20k then go for it. Life is short, if you have it, spend it. Have you gone to loads of places to check out a potential engagement ring or just one or two places? Or how about you go for a weekend to London / Paris and check out potential engagement rings there? Then you'd get a lovely romantic holiday out of it too.

siobhan.murphy · 23-09-2010 06:14PM

if it was me I would head off on a holiday with the cash and if I saw a ring good and well

pushy sales staff here sicken me

tinkerbell · 23-09-2010 06:19PM

Actually OP, I was just thinking - if it's your boyfriend who wants you to get this ring more than you do, why don't you tell him to go off and surprise you and buy the ring himself?

I hate engagement ring shopping!!!! :mad:

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