Trouble with next door neighbour (lonigsh read)

nordiestar · 14-09-2010 09:45PM #1

Just need some help advice from fellow boards members as to what to do ref my next door neighbour.
This is kind of a long read, but I am seroiusly at my wits end as to what I should do, and I need to get it out in the open, and listen to fellow (sane) peoples advice.

So, myself and then girlfriend (now my wife of over a year) moved into a beautiful new home (bought from plans) almost 5 years ago, and for the first year, we had no one living in the adjoining property.
We came home one nice sunny evening to find to ladies in the front yard of the adjoining property, and it became pretty clear thry were mother/daughter.
We exchanged smiles, and a few kind words to each other, and I even helped them carry a double mattress upstairs to a bedroom (being a gentleman), now, at this point I feel I should point out that we were unclear for a few months as to whom actually owned/lived in the house, as one week it seemed to be daughter, next the mother.
After a few weeks with the daughter seemingly living alone, my wife suggested that the next time I seen her, we should do the neighbourly thing and invite her in some evening for a drink, to which I did, and she smiled and said she would keepit in mind.

Few months sown the line, it became obvious that it was actually the mother living in this house, and for the next year or so we spoke/exchanged smiles etc with no problems whatsoever.

Cue a few months later, we returned from honeymoon and we THOUGHT the next door neighbour may be avoiding/not speaking to us (around Aug time of year)
This continued for another few months, until Nov of last year, I had had enough, and approached her one evening and enquired as to wether or not me, or my wife had did soemthing to upset her? Her demeanour was frosty to say the least! She duely informed me that it was ME who did something to upset her, and to 'stop playing games' with her, as I may be 'fooling everyone else, but I certainly wasnt fooling her'

I was stood, dumbfounded in my own front yard, as to what this lady could possibly be referring to????

As she refused to spell it out to me, and I refused to play games, I told her basically to leave us alone if she wasnt prepared to say what it was that I had done to upset her!

All went quiet with her, until a few Sundays ago. I had decided to hoover/wash my car on a fine Sun afternoon around 1pm, I noticed my neighbour approaching the wall that divides our houses a few times to throw me dirty looks, after a half hour or so, I finally turned off my hoover and asked her what it was she was actually looking.

I was basically told by her that I would be receiving a bill through my letterbox for €280 for a rear window in her car and 2 x punctures/flat wheels she had gotten (months apart mind, not two flat wheels on same day)
I kinda lost the head a bit, but asked her what the eff she was implying, to which I was informed that 'I knew rightly what she was talking about, and that it was high time she had a good long chat with my wife'

I immediately went inside the house to inform my wife of what this crazy woman was just after telling me. My wife, hearing a commotion outside told me basically to come in, ignore her, as she was obviously dangerous!!!!

Now, at this point I should add that my wife was heavily pregnant then, and has since given birth.

Roll on to a few weeks ago, the day after my wife had given birth, I was at home during the day to clean/wash etc forthe arrival of my wife and child home from hospital when I heard the door bell ring. Opening it, I find the local seargent Guard, who asked if they could come in and have a word?
I replied that they certainly did, and I could guess why they were there.

The Seargent asked me to go first, and I basically said its prob regarding my next door neighbour, who has been making wild accusations/decarachterisng me, and the Gard asked me to tell me exactly what my side of the story was.

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

The guard said, she has been down with them a few times, once her window in her car was broken, one time her wheel was punctured/flat and then the third time for a punctured wheel again (quite recently, approx 3 weeks ago) the guard asked her, had she seen me do this, she replied that she hadnt, the guard asked her had someone see me do it and tell her it was me, she said no. When the guard asked WHY she was blaming me, her answer was 'she just has a feeling'!

The guard then asked me, did I ever make an advance on her daughter, i.e ask her in for a drink? I told the gaurd that about three years ago, I had asked her in 'some evening' to which the guard actually said to me, you invired her in as, inviting her in to your house to have a drink with you and your wife? I said of course!!!!!

The particular guard, basically had a look around my home, apologised that she called (she seen the Moses basket awaiting our new baby) she said she hadnt a clue there was a baby arriving into our home (my neighbour KNEW my wife was heavily pregnant though)

As the garda was leaving, I asked them if deep down, honestly, they thought I had did the things I was being accused off, to which I was told a very definite NO, no way!

We are a hard working, professional couple. We work long hours, bother no one, and when we get in from work in the evenings, we shut the door behind us and forget about life for a few hours.

The gards asked me to promise not to approach or say anything to her when they left, to which I replied, basicallly I dont have a neighbour on that side of me, and if the gard wanted to act as a gobetween, to inform her, that if she ever so much as spoke to me, my wife or look at our child in the future, we would seek legal advice.

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

For the record, I honestly havent touched her car (1998 little toyota)!!!!

Ickle Magoo · 14-09-2010 10:06PM

I would ignore her, ignore the daughter & get on with your life and forget about them.

She's accused you of something based on a hunch which is a bit odd and they appear to have surmised that the neighbourly invitation to the daughter having been turned down has somehow left you feeling spurned to the point you would turn into the neighbour from hell. Now, I would assume from that they either can't or don't want to acknowledge who is really targeting them or they have such a high opinion of themselves that they actually think your invitation had a secondary motivation....either way, I'd leave them well alone.

Whomever is really targeting them is going to get their comeuppance sooner or later & leave them with egg on their face, in the mean time I wouldn't be dragged into or adding to any more of their self-invented suburban melodramas.

Best of luck.

nordiestar · 14-09-2010 10:33PM

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I would ignore her, ignore the daughter & get on with your life and forget about them.

She's accused you of something based on a hunch which is a bit odd and they appear to have surmised that the neighbourly invitation to the daughter having been turned down has somehow left you feeling spurned to the point you would turn into the neighbour from hell. Now, I would assume from that they either can't or don't want to acknowledge who is really targeting them or they have such a high opinion of themselves that they actually think your invitation had a secondary motivation....either way, I'd leave them well alone.

Whomever is really targeting them is going to get their comeuppance sooner or later & leave them with egg on their face, in the mean time I wouldn't be dragged into or adding to any more of their self-invented suburban melodramas.

Best of luck.

Thanks, but I actually felt it relevant to mention the fact that she drove a 1998 little runaround, hence it was prob more than likely that it would be perfectly logical to get punctures, take it into consideration the police specifically mentioned puncture, not slashed tyres, and not flat tyres, as in someone deliberately let them down!

Also I should point out this lady is prob in her late 60s, the daughter prob mid 30s, and extremely unattractive! They are also natives of the village we live in, and I've been told in the past by another neighbour (way before any of this kicked off) that they were crackers!

Kingpin187 · 14-09-2010 10:42PM

She sounds like a right nutcase mate

Just stay well clear. Although it may be worth keeping a diary of any and all interactions just incase... and it'l prob make you and your wife feel better writing things down

mariebeth · 14-09-2010 10:42PM

nordiestar wrote: »

They are also natives of the village we live in, and I've been told in the past by another neighbour (way before any of this kicked off) that they were crackers!

Honestly, I would ignore them - especially if other people know they are crackers, then they're highly likely to realise that any accusations on the part of this woman & her daughter are not remotely true.

I really hope the situation will be sorted, but the best thing is to just ignore it.

Ickle Magoo · 14-09-2010 10:47PM

Tyres can still be punctured by human hand, slashing tyres is a very specific kind of tyre damage but that's not to say foul play has been ruled out altogether. I'm not sure what the age of her car has to do with it - presumably the car doesn't still sport the tyres it came with 12 yrs ago?

The bottom line is if you start reacting you are feeding into their little drama, whether that be solicitors letters or dirty looks or whatever. If people think they are nuts anyway then just ignore them and wait for their attention to shift onto someone else - don't even look their way when you see them.

nordiestar · 14-09-2010 10:47PM

Kingpin187 wrote: »

She sounds like a right nutcase mate

Just stay well clear. Although it may be worth keeping a diary of any and all interactions just incase... and it'l prob make you and your wife feel better writing things down

Good thinking, my wife actually suggested I pop down to the garda the first time we had an altercation, which I did, but the gards didn't keep it on record as it ' was a civil matter then', as she openly accused me of damaging the car now though, it has turned into a criminal matter!

Rest assured though, upon getting up in the morning though, I'm going to start recording a journal on the while matter!

Kidchameleon · 14-09-2010 11:04PM

Complete nut jobs, keep a diary OP.

Ghandee · 14-09-2010 11:34PM

Op, it seems to me if you live in a small village, that the locals prob know each other years, including this so called nutter you have the misfortune to have to live beside.

My guess? its, if she's as mad in reality as she sounds in your posts, that your neighbours and locals of the village most probably pity you, and not scorn you for having to endure the misery of living next door to her!

Devote your attentions to your wife and new family, divert them from the crazy woman next door!

That's my two cents!

Good luck

LegacyUser · 15-09-2010 05:13AM

Hi OP,

That seems like an unfortunate situation to find yourself in, i wonder why the previous owners moved out!! your neighbours may have always had trouble with the people in your house and then decided to just project that onto you, also if they are there years they might feel very territorial about the place. It is hard to step out of it and get perspective on it when you in the middle of it, but you need peace of mind with this and try feel happy in your home, if it was me i would consider moving... i know thats prob not what you want but i would consider it if they were not going anywhere fast in the near future... what a pity ypu ended up moving next door to bad neighbours there is nothing worse! also to look at it like this woman is prob not well and may be suffering from an illness, or have paranoia or something, either way try not to think it has ANYTHING to do with you, separate yourself from them and who they are, try not to be taken in by there negative energy, i know it sounds weird but just keep blessing the place with good vibes and good energy about the place. I once heard a good way to heal a situation was to just keep sending love to a place of difficulty, if you shift your energy to one of peace and calm it may have a dramatic effect??

Oryx · 15-09-2010 11:09AM

As a child, I lived next door to the ultimate neighbour from hell. We were on first name terms with all the local gardai, they called in response to complaints so often. The neighbour in question was properly unwell, but wealthy, so some of the stuff she did beggared belief (built ten foot walls, put mirror glass on the windows at the back of the house) The guards knew she wasnt right but they had to be seen to respond.

Despite her being actually dangerous at times, there was nothing we could do but put up with it and stay out of her way. It took about ten years for it all to calm down, I think it was us kids that made her mad, and once we grew up, she had nothing to complain about.

Keep a log of anything she does, and otherwise stay out of her way. Do not respond to her taunts, and dont row with her. That may sound weak, but you dont want to give someone like that any ammunition against you.

In our case, we got so used to Mrs X next door, it became a joke, albeit a serious one, she did some nasty stuff. But she is the reason I dont even know my neighbours full names these days, its safest to keep to nodding acquaintance I reckon.

MrDarcy · 15-09-2010 02:27PM

nordiestar wrote: »

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

Question: Why did you decide not to tell the gardai that you invited the daughter into your house for drinks when they came looking for a statement after an allegation had been made against you???

LegacyUser · 15-09-2010 02:55PM

nordiestar wrote: »

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

If the beangarda could figure out your neighbour is a nut job in the space of a few minutes, I'm pretty sure the rest of the village know what she's like.
Leave it unless she makes wild accusations again. You have the gardaí on your side, so that's a plus. Another peep out of her, send her a very threatening solicitor's letter.

Congrats on the new arrival to your family, by the way : )

nordiestar · 15-09-2010 05:28PM

MrDarcy wrote: »

Question: Why did you decide not to tell the gardai that you invited the daughter into your house for drinks when they came looking for a statement after an allegation had been made against you???

I'm not quite sure what your trying to imply here, but the answer to that is quite simple.
No 1, it was put to me by the neighbour when we spoke that I damaged her car, and that she ' needed to speak with my wife', as to what she needed to speak to her about, had me quite bemused!
No 2, as the invitation to her to come in for a neighbourly drink happened prob 2-3 years ago, and as the offer was entirely a friendly one, it never so much as entered my head, that either her, or her daughter could have read into the offer in any other way!

Read my post again, you'll see that I clearly have written WHEN the garda mentioned it to me!!!!!!!!

Tbh, a far as I was aware, they were visiting me, ref allegations of me damaging a car, the suggestion about her daughters drink invitation came as a shock to me, perhaps a case of naivety on my part, I can however assure you there was nothing sinister, nor sneaky in me neglecting to mention it, purely as I seen it as irrelevant, nothing more, nothing less!

MrDarcy · 15-09-2010 06:07PM

nordiestar wrote: »

I'm not quite sure what your trying to imply here, but the answer to that is quite simple.
No 1, it was put to me by the neighbour when we spoke that I damaged her car, and that she ' needed to speak with my wife', as to what she needed to speak to her about, had me quite bemused!
No 2, as the invitation to her to come in for a neighbourly drink happened prob 2-3 years ago, and as the offer was entirely a friendly one, it never so much as entered my head, that either her, or her daughter could have read into the offer in any other way!

Read my post again, you'll see that I clearly have written WHEN the garda mentioned it to me!!!!!!!!

Tbh, a far as I was aware, they were visiting me, ref allegations of me damaging a car, the suggestion about her daughters drink invitation came as a shock to me, perhaps a case of naivety on my part, I can however assure you there was nothing sinister, nor sneaky in me neglecting to mention it, purely as I seen it as irrelevant, nothing more, nothing less!

I haven't implied anything at all, I just found it actually very strange when reading your post that you stated that you decided to deliberately omit one particular part of the story when you were first asked to give your side of the story by the Gardai at the time, relating to when you asked this girl into your house for a drink...

When the Gardai then put it to you, that at any time did you make a move on the daughter, (and if you kind of read between the lines on this, as it was the Gardai who put this possibility to you, this is obviously what your neighbours have insinuated to the Gardai, as in this appears to be what their actual issue is with you whether real or perceived on their part), was there any possibility that the daughter felt that this was an invitation to join you for a drink as distinct from you and your wife???

If you are dealing with odd/difficult/beligerant neighbours, there are a whole range of peculiar constructions that could have been placed upon what was a genuine invitation to socialise together with you and your wife.

Keeping in mind that your neighbours seem to be odd balls, have you considered the following and I'm being deadly serious here:

(1) That the daughter mistakenly thought that you were inappropriately inviting her into your home for drinks while possibly your wife was away?

(2) That the daughter mistakenly thought that maybe yourself and your wife had more than social drinks in mind if it was a case that the two of you happened to issue this particular invitation for drinks in your house together?

Option (2) sounds like I'm trying to wind you up, but there are a lot of people out there who are odd and cynical. They could be forgiven for thinking that an invitation to join either one or both of you for drinks was possibly a bit premature given that neither party really knew each other at all, like had you even known their names before issuing this invitation???

Personally, while I'm sure you are/were completely noble in your intentions, as is/was your wife, I wouldn't be inviting neighbours into my house for drinks unless I had gotten to know them fairly well, had been chatting to them and basically had gotten to know them a bit better, as in who they were, what they did, where they come from, etc. I'd want to be fairly sure I had something in common with them, from chatting to them regularly for a while, before inviting them into my house for drinks.

ABajaninCork · 15-09-2010 10:24PM

It must be horrible for you and upsetting to your wife especially as you now have a family.

As well as keeping a journal, have you considered putting up a discreet CCTV?

If this lady is making crazy accusations like tyre-slashing and busted windows, you need to cover yourself.

nordiestar · 16-09-2010 04:10PM

MrDarcy wrote: »

I haven't implied anything at all, I just found it actually very strange when reading your post that you stated that you decided to deliberately omit one particular part of the story when you were first asked to give your side of the story by the Gardai at the time, relating to when you asked this girl into your house for a drink...

When the Gardai then put it to you, that at any time did you make a move on the daughter, (and if you kind of read between the lines on this, as it was the Gardai who put this possibility to you, this is obviously what your neighbours have insinuated to the Gardai, as in this appears to be what their actual issue is with you whether real or perceived on their part), was there any possibility that the daughter felt that this was an invitation to join you for a drink as distinct from you and your wife???

If you are dealing with odd/difficult/beligerant neighbours, there are a whole range of peculiar constructions that could have been placed upon what was a genuine invitation to socialise together with you and your wife.

Keeping in mind that your neighbours seem to be odd balls, have you considered the following and I'm being deadly serious here:

(1) That the daughter mistakenly thought that you were inappropriately inviting her into your home for drinks while possibly your wife was away?

(2) That the daughter mistakenly thought that maybe yourself and your wife had more than social drinks in mind if it was a case that the two of you happened to issue this particular invitation for drinks in your house together?

Option (2) sounds like I'm trying to wind you up, but there are a lot of people out there who are odd and cynical. They could be forgiven for thinking that an invitation to join either one or both of you for drinks was possibly a bit premature given that neither party really knew each other at all, like had you even known their names before issuing this invitation???

Personally, while I'm sure you are/were completely noble in your intentions, as is/was your wife, I wouldn't be inviting neighbours into my house for drinks unless I had gotten to know them fairly well, had been chatting to them and basically had gotten to know them a bit better, as in who they were, what they did, where they come from, etc. I'd want to be fairly sure I had something in common with them, from chatting to them regularly for a while, before inviting them into my house for drinks.

Im sorry Mr Darcy, but I find your post to be completely and utterly 'implying'
Firstly, I have not stated ANYWHERE that i deliberately left out the part of inviting the daughter in some night for drinks.
I DID however say the following :

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

I did not deliberately neglect to mention this at all!
I simply did not mention it, because I was not aware it was an issue in the three years since the invite was put to the daughter, and when the gard ASKED ME if I invited her in, then and ONLY then did I become aware it was an issue to the pair of them! (this had NEVER been mentioned to me before, by mother, daughter nor anyone else!)

Also, I think its a crying shame, that folk find it 'odd' that my wife and I would try and be friendly by inviting someone in for a drink, times have gone terribly weird in this country, when a simple friendly gesture like that can be frowned upon.

Something else, that I have failed to mention before, apparently the mother of the two had told my wife in happier times, that she lived alone in the country( amile or so outside the village) for years until she became widowed a few years back, and wanted to move into an estate, so as not to be alone and isolated in her twilight years.

She now, doesnt speak to us, who live on one side of her house, nor does she speak to the single, mid 20's fellow who lives in the other side of her!
He is a bit of a prty animal, and throws the odd party at the weekends, resulting in her coming in to us a few times to ask us if we 'could hear the racket he was making'?

My summary of the two of them are, a lonely odd mother/daughter combination, isolated, and having no experience with sharing living spaces with other human beings, they also seem to have an extremely unrealisticaly high opinion of themselves, and truth be known, in hindsight my wife and I are probably way better off having nothing to do with either the pair of them!

Its just a shame that this is how our early years of married life with a young family must begin.

ABajaninCork · 16-09-2010 05:13PM

Ah - now that you've added a bit more detail, I think I'm beginning to understand...

I think this lady is lonely. Might be a bit crackers too, but I think loneliness is the main issue here.

Given what's happened to you and to her old neighbours, do you think her calling the Gards, and acting crazy is her way of gaining attention for herself?

I don't know if/how often her family visit, but don't think her social skills are up to much, so this is a very clumsy way of doing it.

But I do agree that you and your family should keep out of her way!!

nordiestar · 16-09-2010 05:50PM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Ah - now that you've added a bit more detail, I think I'm beginning to understand...

I think this lady is lonely. Might be a bit crackers too, but I think loneliness is the main issue here.

Given what's happened to you and to her old neighbours, do you think her calling the Gards, and acting crazy is her way of gaining attention for herself?

I don't know if/how often her family visit, but don't think her social skills are up to much, so this is a very clumsy way of doing it.

But I do agree that you and your family should keep out of her way!!

Hello there, thanks for the post.
I believe this woman may have so little going in in her own life that causing a stir, commotion may be to keep her self amused!
I really believe that the punctures she received were purely natural, every day punctures that all cars are prone to (lord knows I've had many myself in my time but never felt the need to involve the police/point the finger at any one)
The broken rear window of her car? Who knows what happened there, the only though I can be sure of, is that I never touched it, not WOULD I touch it!

The daughter comes to visit a few times a week, but other than that, that is it! No one else seems to bother with her, and she never aetna to venture far from the house either.

I do remember telling her upon our first altercation, when she was refusing to tell me what exactly it was that I had supposedly done to upset her, that she would need me, before I would ever need her!

Of course if an emergency arose I would most certainly come to her assistance, for now though......

Good riddance

Scrappychimow · 16-09-2010 09:32PM

nordiestar wrote: »

Just need some help advice from fellow boards members as to what to do ref my next door neighbour.
This is kind of a long read, but I am seroiusly at my wits end as to what I should do, and I need to get it out in the open, and listen to fellow (sane) peoples advice.

So, myself and then girlfriend (now my wife of over a year) moved into a beautiful new home (bought from plans) almost 5 years ago, and for the first year, we had no one living in the adjoining property.
We came home one nice sunny evening to find to ladies in the front yard of the adjoining property, and it became pretty clear thry were mother/daughter.
We exchanged smiles, and a few kind words to each other, and I even helped them carry a double mattress upstairs to a bedroom (being a gentleman), now, at this point I feel I should point out that we were unclear for a few months as to whom actually owned/lived in the house, as one week it seemed to be daughter, next the mother.
After a few weeks with the daughter seemingly living alone, my wife suggested that the next time I seen her, we should do the neighbourly thing and invite her in some evening for a drink, to which I did, and she smiled and said she would keepit in mind.

Few months sown the line, it became obvious that it was actually the mother living in this house, and for the next year or so we spoke/exchanged smiles etc with no problems whatsoever.

Cue a few months later, we returned from honeymoon and we THOUGHT the next door neighbour may be avoiding/not speaking to us (around Aug time of year)
This continued for another few months, until Nov of last year, I had had enough, and approached her one evening and enquired as to wether or not me, or my wife had did soemthing to upset her? Her demeanour was frosty to say the least! She duely informed me that it was ME who did something to upset her, and to 'stop playing games' with her, as I may be 'fooling everyone else, but I certainly wasnt fooling her'

I was stood, dumbfounded in my own front yard, as to what this lady could possibly be referring to????

As she refused to spell it out to me, and I refused to play games, I told her basically to leave us alone if she wasnt prepared to say what it was that I had done to upset her!

All went quiet with her, until a few Sundays ago. I had decided to hoover/wash my car on a fine Sun afternoon around 1pm, I noticed my neighbour approaching the wall that divides our houses a few times to throw me dirty looks, after a half hour or so, I finally turned off my hoover and asked her what it was she was actually looking.

I was basically told by her that I would be receiving a bill through my letterbox for €280 for a rear window in her car and 2 x punctures/flat wheels she had gotten (months apart mind, not two flat wheels on same day)
I kinda lost the head a bit, but asked her what the eff she was implying, to which I was informed that 'I knew rightly what she was talking about, and that it was high time she had a good long chat with my wife'

I immediately went inside the house to inform my wife of what this crazy woman was just after telling me. My wife, hearing a commotion outside told me basically to come in, ignore her, as she was obviously dangerous!!!!

Now, at this point I should add that my wife was heavily pregnant then, and has since given birth.

Roll on to a few weeks ago, the day after my wife had given birth, I was at home during the day to clean/wash etc forthe arrival of my wife and child home from hospital when I heard the door bell ring. Opening it, I find the local seargent Guard, who asked if they could come in and have a word?
I replied that they certainly did, and I could guess why they were there.

The Seargent asked me to go first, and I basically said its prob regarding my next door neighbour, who has been making wild accusations/decarachterisng me, and the Gard asked me to tell me exactly what my side of the story was.

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

The guard said, she has been down with them a few times, once her window in her car was broken, one time her wheel was punctured/flat and then the third time for a punctured wheel again (quite recently, approx 3 weeks ago) the guard asked her, had she seen me do this, she replied that she hadnt, the guard asked her had someone see me do it and tell her it was me, she said no. When the guard asked WHY she was blaming me, her answer was 'she just has a feeling'!

The guard then asked me, did I ever make an advance on her daughter, i.e ask her in for a drink? I told the gaurd that about three years ago, I had asked her in 'some evening' to which the guard actually said to me, you invired her in as, inviting her in to your house to have a drink with you and your wife? I said of course!!!!!

The particular guard, basically had a look around my home, apologised that she called (she seen the Moses basket awaiting our new baby) she said she hadnt a clue there was a baby arriving into our home (my neighbour KNEW my wife was heavily pregnant though)

As the garda was leaving, I asked them if deep down, honestly, they thought I had did the things I was being accused off, to which I was told a very definite NO, no way!

We are a hard working, professional couple. We work long hours, bother no one, and when we get in from work in the evenings, we shut the door behind us and forget about life for a few hours.

The gards asked me to promise not to approach or say anything to her when they left, to which I replied, basicallly I dont have a neighbour on that side of me, and if the gard wanted to act as a gobetween, to inform her, that if she ever so much as spoke to me, my wife or look at our child in the future, we would seek legal advice.

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

For the record, I honestly havent touched her car (1998 little toyota)!!!!

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

nordiestar · 16-09-2010 09:45PM

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .[/QUOTE

That's fine, I mean your free to believe what you like, but fyi, there is no ' case' for a gard to read this lol!

The gard came to my house to get my version of events, against a womans allegation against me damaging her car based on a hunch!

I'm on boards to ask peoples opinion on wether I should take further action against the woman making the allegations, nothing more nor less!

Not once have I asked anyone to be judge and jury, I've simply asked what I should do next!

Thanks for your input though.

Kidchameleon · 16-09-2010 09:57PM

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

In fairness to the OP, there are people out there who are just plain weird. I have no doubt the OP is telling the truth. I know personally people who would stir up **** about someone out of just plain stupidity...

ABajaninCork · 16-09-2010 10:04PM

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

Scrappychimow - what an odd thing to say. There was only minimal detail, no names were given, nor even the location. Ireland has 4m people. What are the chances the gard who dealt with the matter is reading this?:rolleyes:

tbh · 16-09-2010 10:07PM

Completely and totally ignore her. Surprised you have to ask tbh.

So far you seem to have played into her hands by asking her what's wrong etc. Don't bother in future, she's playing games with you, and at the moment Shes winning.

nordiestar · 16-09-2010 10:14PM

Kidchameleon wrote: »

In fairness to the OP, there are people out there who are just plain weird. I have no doubt the OP is telling the truth. I know personally people who would stir up **** about someone out of just plain stupidity...

Like I've told scrappy, (obvious trying to rile me)
I've came on boards looking for advice on wether our not to prosecute HER for false allegations! The garda came to my place as an unofficial visit to inform me that the neighbor had accused me of something, they left my house MORE than happy with my version of events, there its no ' CASE'
I'm not looking someone to pat my back, and say there there, I was looking advice as to what way to proceed, thats it!

tbh · 16-09-2010 10:17PM

No offense op but it seems like you get wound up easily. Don't prosecute her, don't have anything to do with her.

nordiestar · 16-09-2010 10:20PM

tbh wrote: »

Completely and totally ignore her. Surprised you have to ask tbh.

So far you seem to have played into her hands by asking her what's wrong etc. Don't bother in future, she's playing games with you, and at the moment Shes winning.

I was asking should I ignore her OR seek legal advice though, the ignoring part hadn't changed since Nov 09, and things have fine too far now to ever change, I am here looking to know other folks opinions on how to close the book on her for good though, thats all

Taltos · 16-09-2010 10:41PM

Been watching this one closely.

OP - personally I would seek legal advice.
Not to seek damages or anything of that nature for character attacks etc - but more to protect yourself from more of these accusations.

They may suggest a form of mediation, as others have noted she may be just very lonely - and just not know how to interact with normal people. Now you may not want this and to be honest I would prefer as well to be left alone. But at least having sought professional advice you will know they lay of the land and who needs to be informed of what.

tbh · 16-09-2010 10:44PM

nordiestar wrote: »

I was asking should I ignore her OR seek legal advice though, the ignoring part hadn't changed since Nov 09, and things have fine too far now to ever change, I am here looking to know other folks opinions on how to close the book on her for good though, thats all

I feel for you, sounds like a nightmare. Hopefully she will get the message, the guards will probably warn her off too. Congrats on the new arrival - forget everything else as much as you can

Scrappychimow · 16-09-2010 10:52PM

nordiestar wrote: »

Like I've told scrappy, (obvious trying to rile me)
I've came on boards looking for advice on wether our not to prosecute HER for false allegations! The garda came to my place as an unofficial visit to inform me that the neighbor had accused me of something, they left my house MORE than happy with my version of events, there its no ' CASE'
I'm not looking someone to pat my back, and say there there, I was looking advice as to what way to proceed, thats it!

I am telling you out straight, I don't believe you, even if I meet you in person I wouldn't... you might pull the wool over other peoples eyes if they are foolish enough to believe you. I have heard of numerous amounts of cases where the 'model citizen' turned out to be guilty,but he portrayed an image of himself to 'butter wouldn't melt in the mouth' type character .

Like it or lump it you ain't brainwashing me.

On a side note, seriously how the hell can you people believe a poster on an internet forum?

tbh · 16-09-2010 10:57PM

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I am telling you out straight, I don't believe you, even if I meet you in person I wouldn't... you might pull the wool over other peoples eyes if they are foolish enough to believe you. I have heard of numerous amounts of cases where the 'model citizen' turned out to be guilty,but he portrayed an image of himself to 'butter wouldn't melt in the mouth' type character .

Like it or lump it you ain't brainwashing me.

On a side note, seriously how the hell can you people believe a poster on an internet forum?

Why would you bother lying? To be fair, what you believe - that hes started this thread in the hopes rhat some random guard will read it and recognise the case - requires a far greater stretch of the imagination than simply assuming he's telling the truth.

Trouble with next door neighbour (lonigsh read)

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