Trouble with next door neighbour (lonigsh read)

nordiestar

Just need some help advice from fellow boards members as to what to do ref my next door neighbour.
This is kind of a long read, but I am seroiusly at my wits end as to what I should do, and I need to get it out in the open, and listen to fellow (sane) peoples advice.

So, myself and then girlfriend (now my wife of over a year) moved into a beautiful new home (bought from plans) almost 5 years ago, and for the first year, we had no one living in the adjoining property.
We came home one nice sunny evening to find to ladies in the front yard of the adjoining property, and it became pretty clear thry were mother/daughter.
We exchanged smiles, and a few kind words to each other, and I even helped them carry a double mattress upstairs to a bedroom (being a gentleman), now, at this point I feel I should point out that we were unclear for a few months as to whom actually owned/lived in the house, as one week it seemed to be daughter, next the mother.
After a few weeks with the daughter seemingly living alone, my wife suggested that the next time I seen her, we should do the neighbourly thing and invite her in some evening for a drink, to which I did, and she smiled and said she would keepit in mind.

Few months sown the line, it became obvious that it was actually the mother living in this house, and for the next year or so we spoke/exchanged smiles etc with no problems whatsoever.

Cue a few months later, we returned from honeymoon and we THOUGHT the next door neighbour may be avoiding/not speaking to us (around Aug time of year)
This continued for another few months, until Nov of last year, I had had enough, and approached her one evening and enquired as to wether or not me, or my wife had did soemthing to upset her? Her demeanour was frosty to say the least! She duely informed me that it was ME who did something to upset her, and to 'stop playing games' with her, as I may be 'fooling everyone else, but I certainly wasnt fooling her'

I was stood, dumbfounded in my own front yard, as to what this lady could possibly be referring to????

As she refused to spell it out to me, and I refused to play games, I told her basically to leave us alone if she wasnt prepared to say what it was that I had done to upset her!

All went quiet with her, until a few Sundays ago. I had decided to hoover/wash my car on a fine Sun afternoon around 1pm, I noticed my neighbour approaching the wall that divides our houses a few times to throw me dirty looks, after a half hour or so, I finally turned off my hoover and asked her what it was she was actually looking.

I was basically told by her that I would be receiving a bill through my letterbox for €280 for a rear window in her car and 2 x punctures/flat wheels she had gotten (months apart mind, not two flat wheels on same day)
I kinda lost the head a bit, but asked her what the eff she was implying, to which I was informed that 'I knew rightly what she was talking about, and that it was high time she had a good long chat with my wife'

I immediately went inside the house to inform my wife of what this crazy woman was just after telling me. My wife, hearing a commotion outside told me basically to come in, ignore her, as she was obviously dangerous!!!!

Now, at this point I should add that my wife was heavily pregnant then, and has since given birth.

Roll on to a few weeks ago, the day after my wife had given birth, I was at home during the day to clean/wash etc forthe arrival of my wife and child home from hospital when I heard the door bell ring. Opening it, I find the local seargent Guard, who asked if they could come in and have a word?
I replied that they certainly did, and I could guess why they were there.

The Seargent asked me to go first, and I basically said its prob regarding my next door neighbour, who has been making wild accusations/decarachterisng me, and the Gard asked me to tell me exactly what my side of the story was.

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

The guard said, she has been down with them a few times, once her window in her car was broken, one time her wheel was punctured/flat and then the third time for a punctured wheel again (quite recently, approx 3 weeks ago) the guard asked her, had she seen me do this, she replied that she hadnt, the guard asked her had someone see me do it and tell her it was me, she said no. When the guard asked WHY she was blaming me, her answer was 'she just has a feeling'!

The guard then asked me, did I ever make an advance on her daughter, i.e ask her in for a drink? I told the gaurd that about three years ago, I had asked her in 'some evening' to which the guard actually said to me, you invired her in as, inviting her in to your house to have a drink with you and your wife? I said of course!!!!!

The particular guard, basically had a look around my home, apologised that she called (she seen the Moses basket awaiting our new baby) she said she hadnt a clue there was a baby arriving into our home (my neighbour KNEW my wife was heavily pregnant though)

As the garda was leaving, I asked them if deep down, honestly, they thought I had did the things I was being accused off, to which I was told a very definite NO, no way!

We are a hard working, professional couple. We work long hours, bother no one, and when we get in from work in the evenings, we shut the door behind us and forget about life for a few hours.

The gards asked me to promise not to approach or say anything to her when they left, to which I replied, basicallly I dont have a neighbour on that side of me, and if the gard wanted to act as a gobetween, to inform her, that if she ever so much as spoke to me, my wife or look at our child in the future, we would seek legal advice.

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

For the record, I honestly havent touched her car (1998 little toyota)!!!!

Ickle Magoo

I would ignore her, ignore the daughter & get on with your life and forget about them.

She's accused you of something based on a hunch which is a bit odd and they appear to have surmised that the neighbourly invitation to the daughter having been turned down has somehow left you feeling spurned to the point you would turn into the neighbour from hell. Now, I would assume from that they either can't or don't want to acknowledge who is really targeting them or they have such a high opinion of themselves that they actually think your invitation had a secondary motivation....either way, I'd leave them well alone.

Whomever is really targeting them is going to get their comeuppance sooner or later & leave them with egg on their face, in the mean time I wouldn't be dragged into or adding to any more of their self-invented suburban melodramas.

Best of luck.

nordiestar

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I would ignore her, ignore the daughter & get on with your life and forget about them.

She's accused you of something based on a hunch which is a bit odd and they appear to have surmised that the neighbourly invitation to the daughter having been turned down has somehow left you feeling spurned to the point you would turn into the neighbour from hell. Now, I would assume from that they either can't or don't want to acknowledge who is really targeting them or they have such a high opinion of themselves that they actually think your invitation had a secondary motivation....either way, I'd leave them well alone.

Whomever is really targeting them is going to get their comeuppance sooner or later & leave them with egg on their face, in the mean time I wouldn't be dragged into or adding to any more of their self-invented suburban melodramas.

Best of luck.

Thanks, but I actually felt it relevant to mention the fact that she drove a 1998 little runaround, hence it was prob more than likely that it would be perfectly logical to get punctures, take it into consideration the police specifically mentioned puncture, not slashed tyres, and not flat tyres, as in someone deliberately let them down!

Also I should point out this lady is prob in her late 60s, the daughter prob mid 30s, and extremely unattractive! They are also natives of the village we live in, and I've been told in the past by another neighbour (way before any of this kicked off) that they were crackers!

Kingpin187

She sounds like a right nutcase mate

Just stay well clear. Although it may be worth keeping a diary of any and all interactions just incase... and it'l prob make you and your wife feel better writing things down

mariebeth

nordiestar wrote: »

They are also natives of the village we live in, and I've been told in the past by another neighbour (way before any of this kicked off) that they were crackers!

Honestly, I would ignore them - especially if other people know they are crackers, then they're highly likely to realise that any accusations on the part of this woman & her daughter are not remotely true.

I really hope the situation will be sorted, but the best thing is to just ignore it.

Ickle Magoo

Tyres can still be punctured by human hand, slashing tyres is a very specific kind of tyre damage but that's not to say foul play has been ruled out altogether. I'm not sure what the age of her car has to do with it - presumably the car doesn't still sport the tyres it came with 12 yrs ago?

The bottom line is if you start reacting you are feeding into their little drama, whether that be solicitors letters or dirty looks or whatever. If people think they are nuts anyway then just ignore them and wait for their attention to shift onto someone else - don't even look their way when you see them.

nordiestar

Kingpin187 wrote: »

She sounds like a right nutcase mate

Just stay well clear. Although it may be worth keeping a diary of any and all interactions just incase... and it'l prob make you and your wife feel better writing things down

Good thinking, my wife actually suggested I pop down to the garda the first time we had an altercation, which I did, but the gards didn't keep it on record as it ' was a civil matter then', as she openly accused me of damaging the car now though, it has turned into a criminal matter!

Rest assured though, upon getting up in the morning though, I'm going to start recording a journal on the while matter!

Kidchameleon

Complete nut jobs, keep a diary OP.

Ghandee

Op, it seems to me if you live in a small village, that the locals prob know each other years, including this so called nutter you have the misfortune to have to live beside.


My guess? its, if she's as mad in reality as she sounds in your posts, that your neighbours and locals of the village most probably pity you, and not scorn you for having to endure the misery of living next door to her!

Devote your attentions to your wife and new family, divert them from the crazy woman next door!

That's my two cents!

Good luck

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

That seems like an unfortunate situation to find yourself in, i wonder why the previous owners moved out!! your neighbours may have always had trouble with the people in your house and then decided to just project that onto you, also if they are there years they might feel very territorial about the place. It is hard to step out of it and get perspective on it when you in the middle of it, but you need peace of mind with this and try feel happy in your home, if it was me i would consider moving... i know thats prob not what you want but i would consider it if they were not going anywhere fast in the near future... what a pity ypu ended up moving next door to bad neighbours there is nothing worse! also to look at it like this woman is prob not well and may be suffering from an illness, or have paranoia or something, either way try not to think it has ANYTHING to do with you, separate yourself from them and who they are, try not to be taken in by there negative energy, i know it sounds weird but just keep blessing the place with good vibes and good energy about the place. I once heard a good way to heal a situation was to just keep sending love to a place of difficulty, if you shift your energy to one of peace and calm it may have a dramatic effect??

Oryx

As a child, I lived next door to the ultimate neighbour from hell. We were on first name terms with all the local gardai, they called in response to complaints so often. The neighbour in question was properly unwell, but wealthy, so some of the stuff she did beggared belief (built ten foot walls, put mirror glass on the windows at the back of the house) The guards knew she wasnt right but they had to be seen to respond.

Despite her being actually dangerous at times, there was nothing we could do but put up with it and stay out of her way. It took about ten years for it all to calm down, I think it was us kids that made her mad, and once we grew up, she had nothing to complain about.

Keep a log of anything she does, and otherwise stay out of her way. Do not respond to her taunts, and dont row with her. That may sound weak, but you dont want to give someone like that any ammunition against you.

In our case, we got so used to Mrs X next door, it became a joke, albeit a serious one, she did some nasty stuff. But she is the reason I dont even know my neighbours full names these days, its safest to keep to nodding acquaintance I reckon.

MrDarcy

nordiestar wrote: »

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

Question: Why did you decide not to tell the gardai that you invited the daughter into your house for drinks when they came looking for a statement after an allegation had been made against you???

LegacyUser

nordiestar wrote: »

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

If the beangarda could figure out your neighbour is a nut job in the space of a few minutes, I'm pretty sure the rest of the village know what she's like.
Leave it unless she makes wild accusations again. You have the gardaí on your side, so that's a plus. Another peep out of her, send her a very threatening solicitor's letter.

Congrats on the new arrival to your family, by the way : )

nordiestar

MrDarcy wrote: »

Question: Why did you decide not to tell the gardai that you invited the daughter into your house for drinks when they came looking for a statement after an allegation had been made against you???

I'm not quite sure what your trying to imply here, but the answer to that is quite simple.
No 1, it was put to me by the neighbour when we spoke that I damaged her car, and that she ' needed to speak with my wife', as to what she needed to speak to her about, had me quite bemused!
No 2, as the invitation to her to come in for a neighbourly drink happened prob 2-3 years ago, and as the offer was entirely a friendly one, it never so much as entered my head, that either her, or her daughter could have read into the offer in any other way!

Read my post again, you'll see that I clearly have written WHEN the garda mentioned it to me!!!!!!!!

Tbh, a far as I was aware, they were visiting me, ref allegations of me damaging a car, the suggestion about her daughters drink invitation came as a shock to me, perhaps a case of naivety on my part, I can however assure you there was nothing sinister, nor sneaky in me neglecting to mention it, purely as I seen it as irrelevant, nothing more, nothing less!

MrDarcy

nordiestar wrote: »

I'm not quite sure what your trying to imply here, but the answer to that is quite simple.
No 1, it was put to me by the neighbour when we spoke that I damaged her car, and that she ' needed to speak with my wife', as to what she needed to speak to her about, had me quite bemused!
No 2, as the invitation to her to come in for a neighbourly drink happened prob 2-3 years ago, and as the offer was entirely a friendly one, it never so much as entered my head, that either her, or her daughter could have read into the offer in any other way!

Read my post again, you'll see that I clearly have written WHEN the garda mentioned it to me!!!!!!!!

Tbh, a far as I was aware, they were visiting me, ref allegations of me damaging a car, the suggestion about her daughters drink invitation came as a shock to me, perhaps a case of naivety on my part, I can however assure you there was nothing sinister, nor sneaky in me neglecting to mention it, purely as I seen it as irrelevant, nothing more, nothing less!

I haven't implied anything at all, I just found it actually very strange when reading your post that you stated that you decided to deliberately omit one particular part of the story when you were first asked to give your side of the story by the Gardai at the time, relating to when you asked this girl into your house for a drink...

When the Gardai then put it to you, that at any time did you make a move on the daughter, (and if you kind of read between the lines on this, as it was the Gardai who put this possibility to you, this is obviously what your neighbours have insinuated to the Gardai, as in this appears to be what their actual issue is with you whether real or perceived on their part), was there any possibility that the daughter felt that this was an invitation to join you for a drink as distinct from you and your wife???

If you are dealing with odd/difficult/beligerant neighbours, there are a whole range of peculiar constructions that could have been placed upon what was a genuine invitation to socialise together with you and your wife.

Keeping in mind that your neighbours seem to be odd balls, have you considered the following and I'm being deadly serious here:

(1) That the daughter mistakenly thought that you were inappropriately inviting her into your home for drinks while possibly your wife was away?

(2) That the daughter mistakenly thought that maybe yourself and your wife had more than social drinks in mind if it was a case that the two of you happened to issue this particular invitation for drinks in your house together?

Option (2) sounds like I'm trying to wind you up, but there are a lot of people out there who are odd and cynical. They could be forgiven for thinking that an invitation to join either one or both of you for drinks was possibly a bit premature given that neither party really knew each other at all, like had you even known their names before issuing this invitation???

Personally, while I'm sure you are/were completely noble in your intentions, as is/was your wife, I wouldn't be inviting neighbours into my house for drinks unless I had gotten to know them fairly well, had been chatting to them and basically had gotten to know them a bit better, as in who they were, what they did, where they come from, etc. I'd want to be fairly sure I had something in common with them, from chatting to them regularly for a while, before inviting them into my house for drinks.

ABajaninCork

It must be horrible for you and upsetting to your wife especially as you now have a family.

As well as keeping a journal, have you considered putting up a discreet CCTV?

If this lady is making crazy accusations like tyre-slashing and busted windows, you need to cover yourself.

nordiestar

MrDarcy wrote: »

I haven't implied anything at all, I just found it actually very strange when reading your post that you stated that you decided to deliberately omit one particular part of the story when you were first asked to give your side of the story by the Gardai at the time, relating to when you asked this girl into your house for a drink...

When the Gardai then put it to you, that at any time did you make a move on the daughter, (and if you kind of read between the lines on this, as it was the Gardai who put this possibility to you, this is obviously what your neighbours have insinuated to the Gardai, as in this appears to be what their actual issue is with you whether real or perceived on their part), was there any possibility that the daughter felt that this was an invitation to join you for a drink as distinct from you and your wife???

If you are dealing with odd/difficult/beligerant neighbours, there are a whole range of peculiar constructions that could have been placed upon what was a genuine invitation to socialise together with you and your wife.

Keeping in mind that your neighbours seem to be odd balls, have you considered the following and I'm being deadly serious here:

(1) That the daughter mistakenly thought that you were inappropriately inviting her into your home for drinks while possibly your wife was away?

(2) That the daughter mistakenly thought that maybe yourself and your wife had more than social drinks in mind if it was a case that the two of you happened to issue this particular invitation for drinks in your house together?

Option (2) sounds like I'm trying to wind you up, but there are a lot of people out there who are odd and cynical. They could be forgiven for thinking that an invitation to join either one or both of you for drinks was possibly a bit premature given that neither party really knew each other at all, like had you even known their names before issuing this invitation???

Personally, while I'm sure you are/were completely noble in your intentions, as is/was your wife, I wouldn't be inviting neighbours into my house for drinks unless I had gotten to know them fairly well, had been chatting to them and basically had gotten to know them a bit better, as in who they were, what they did, where they come from, etc. I'd want to be fairly sure I had something in common with them, from chatting to them regularly for a while, before inviting them into my house for drinks.

Im sorry Mr Darcy, but I find your post to be completely and utterly 'implying'
Firstly, I have not stated ANYWHERE that i deliberately left out the part of inviting the daughter in some night for drinks.
I DID however say the following :

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

I did not deliberately neglect to mention this at all!
I simply did not mention it, because I was not aware it was an issue in the three years since the invite was put to the daughter, and when the gard ASKED ME if I invited her in, then and ONLY then did I become aware it was an issue to the pair of them! (this had NEVER been mentioned to me before, by mother, daughter nor anyone else!)

Also, I think its a crying shame, that folk find it 'odd' that my wife and I would try and be friendly by inviting someone in for a drink, times have gone terribly weird in this country, when a simple friendly gesture like that can be frowned upon.

Something else, that I have failed to mention before, apparently the mother of the two had told my wife in happier times, that she lived alone in the country( amile or so outside the village) for years until she became widowed a few years back, and wanted to move into an estate, so as not to be alone and isolated in her twilight years.

She now, doesnt speak to us, who live on one side of her house, nor does she speak to the single, mid 20's fellow who lives in the other side of her!
He is a bit of a prty animal, and throws the odd party at the weekends, resulting in her coming in to us a few times to ask us if we 'could hear the racket he was making'?

My summary of the two of them are, a lonely odd mother/daughter combination, isolated, and having no experience with sharing living spaces with other human beings, they also seem to have an extremely unrealisticaly high opinion of themselves, and truth be known, in hindsight my wife and I are probably way better off having nothing to do with either the pair of them!

Its just a shame that this is how our early years of married life with a young family must begin.

ABajaninCork

Ah - now that you've added a bit more detail, I think I'm beginning to understand...

I think this lady is lonely. Might be a bit crackers too, but I think loneliness is the main issue here.

Given what's happened to you and to her old neighbours, do you think her calling the Gards, and acting crazy is her way of gaining attention for herself?

I don't know if/how often her family visit, but don't think her social skills are up to much, so this is a very clumsy way of doing it.

But I do agree that you and your family should keep out of her way!!

nordiestar

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Ah - now that you've added a bit more detail, I think I'm beginning to understand...

I think this lady is lonely. Might be a bit crackers too, but I think loneliness is the main issue here.

Given what's happened to you and to her old neighbours, do you think her calling the Gards, and acting crazy is her way of gaining attention for herself?

I don't know if/how often her family visit, but don't think her social skills are up to much, so this is a very clumsy way of doing it.

But I do agree that you and your family should keep out of her way!!

Hello there, thanks for the post.
I believe this woman may have so little going in in her own life that causing a stir, commotion may be to keep her self amused!
I really believe that the punctures she received were purely natural, every day punctures that all cars are prone to (lord knows I've had many myself in my time but never felt the need to involve the police/point the finger at any one)
The broken rear window of her car? Who knows what happened there, the only though I can be sure of, is that I never touched it, not WOULD I touch it!

The daughter comes to visit a few times a week, but other than that, that is it! No one else seems to bother with her, and she never aetna to venture far from the house either.

I do remember telling her upon our first altercation, when she was refusing to tell me what exactly it was that I had supposedly done to upset her, that she would need me, before I would ever need her!

Of course if an emergency arose I would most certainly come to her assistance, for now though......

Good riddance

Scrappychimow

nordiestar wrote: »

Just need some help advice from fellow boards members as to what to do ref my next door neighbour.
This is kind of a long read, but I am seroiusly at my wits end as to what I should do, and I need to get it out in the open, and listen to fellow (sane) peoples advice.

So, myself and then girlfriend (now my wife of over a year) moved into a beautiful new home (bought from plans) almost 5 years ago, and for the first year, we had no one living in the adjoining property.
We came home one nice sunny evening to find to ladies in the front yard of the adjoining property, and it became pretty clear thry were mother/daughter.
We exchanged smiles, and a few kind words to each other, and I even helped them carry a double mattress upstairs to a bedroom (being a gentleman), now, at this point I feel I should point out that we were unclear for a few months as to whom actually owned/lived in the house, as one week it seemed to be daughter, next the mother.
After a few weeks with the daughter seemingly living alone, my wife suggested that the next time I seen her, we should do the neighbourly thing and invite her in some evening for a drink, to which I did, and she smiled and said she would keepit in mind.

Few months sown the line, it became obvious that it was actually the mother living in this house, and for the next year or so we spoke/exchanged smiles etc with no problems whatsoever.

Cue a few months later, we returned from honeymoon and we THOUGHT the next door neighbour may be avoiding/not speaking to us (around Aug time of year)
This continued for another few months, until Nov of last year, I had had enough, and approached her one evening and enquired as to wether or not me, or my wife had did soemthing to upset her? Her demeanour was frosty to say the least! She duely informed me that it was ME who did something to upset her, and to 'stop playing games' with her, as I may be 'fooling everyone else, but I certainly wasnt fooling her'

I was stood, dumbfounded in my own front yard, as to what this lady could possibly be referring to????

As she refused to spell it out to me, and I refused to play games, I told her basically to leave us alone if she wasnt prepared to say what it was that I had done to upset her!

All went quiet with her, until a few Sundays ago. I had decided to hoover/wash my car on a fine Sun afternoon around 1pm, I noticed my neighbour approaching the wall that divides our houses a few times to throw me dirty looks, after a half hour or so, I finally turned off my hoover and asked her what it was she was actually looking.

I was basically told by her that I would be receiving a bill through my letterbox for €280 for a rear window in her car and 2 x punctures/flat wheels she had gotten (months apart mind, not two flat wheels on same day)
I kinda lost the head a bit, but asked her what the eff she was implying, to which I was informed that 'I knew rightly what she was talking about, and that it was high time she had a good long chat with my wife'

I immediately went inside the house to inform my wife of what this crazy woman was just after telling me. My wife, hearing a commotion outside told me basically to come in, ignore her, as she was obviously dangerous!!!!

Now, at this point I should add that my wife was heavily pregnant then, and has since given birth.

Roll on to a few weeks ago, the day after my wife had given birth, I was at home during the day to clean/wash etc forthe arrival of my wife and child home from hospital when I heard the door bell ring. Opening it, I find the local seargent Guard, who asked if they could come in and have a word?
I replied that they certainly did, and I could guess why they were there.

The Seargent asked me to go first, and I basically said its prob regarding my next door neighbour, who has been making wild accusations/decarachterisng me, and the Gard asked me to tell me exactly what my side of the story was.

I told her exactly as I have written above, from start to finish, (minus the part where I offered the daughter into the house some night for the drink) and asked the guard exactly what she had been saying.

The guard said, she has been down with them a few times, once her window in her car was broken, one time her wheel was punctured/flat and then the third time for a punctured wheel again (quite recently, approx 3 weeks ago) the guard asked her, had she seen me do this, she replied that she hadnt, the guard asked her had someone see me do it and tell her it was me, she said no. When the guard asked WHY she was blaming me, her answer was 'she just has a feeling'!

The guard then asked me, did I ever make an advance on her daughter, i.e ask her in for a drink? I told the gaurd that about three years ago, I had asked her in 'some evening' to which the guard actually said to me, you invired her in as, inviting her in to your house to have a drink with you and your wife? I said of course!!!!!

The particular guard, basically had a look around my home, apologised that she called (she seen the Moses basket awaiting our new baby) she said she hadnt a clue there was a baby arriving into our home (my neighbour KNEW my wife was heavily pregnant though)

As the garda was leaving, I asked them if deep down, honestly, they thought I had did the things I was being accused off, to which I was told a very definite NO, no way!

We are a hard working, professional couple. We work long hours, bother no one, and when we get in from work in the evenings, we shut the door behind us and forget about life for a few hours.

The gards asked me to promise not to approach or say anything to her when they left, to which I replied, basicallly I dont have a neighbour on that side of me, and if the gard wanted to act as a gobetween, to inform her, that if she ever so much as spoke to me, my wife or look at our child in the future, we would seek legal advice.

I could not care less what this crazy fool thinks I did or did not do to her personally, what I am worried about though, is what she may be telling to our neighbours. We live in a small village, and neither my wife or I are natives to it.

What action, if any should I take from here folks?

Should I ignore her, pretend she doesnt exist?

Or should I go and speak to a solicitor now, and get her to withdraw her totally baseless accusations?

For the record, I honestly havent touched her car (1998 little toyota)!!!!

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

nordiestar

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .[/QUOTE

That's fine, I mean your free to believe what you like, but fyi, there is no ' case' for a gard to read this lol!

The gard came to my house to get my version of events, against a womans allegation against me damaging her car based on a hunch!

I'm on boards to ask peoples opinion on wether I should take further action against the woman making the allegations, nothing more nor less!

Not once have I asked anyone to be judge and jury, I've simply asked what I should do next!

Thanks for your input though.

Kidchameleon

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

In fairness to the OP, there are people out there who are just plain weird. I have no doubt the OP is telling the truth. I know personally people who would stir up **** about someone out of just plain stupidity...

ABajaninCork

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I may be the first person to admit it, and I am not trolling, but I find it very suspicious that you would post so much detail on a sensitive topic which is being dealt with by the gardai, on an internet forum.
Is this in hope that a gardai who is involved in the case reads this?

I simply don't believe you ,I think something more sinister happened .

Scrappychimow - what an odd thing to say. There was only minimal detail, no names were given, nor even the location. Ireland has 4m people. What are the chances the gard who dealt with the matter is reading this?:rolleyes:

tbh

Completely and totally ignore her. Surprised you have to ask tbh.

So far you seem to have played into her hands by asking her what's wrong etc. Don't bother in future, she's playing games with you, and at the moment Shes winning.

nordiestar

Kidchameleon wrote: »

In fairness to the OP, there are people out there who are just plain weird. I have no doubt the OP is telling the truth. I know personally people who would stir up **** about someone out of just plain stupidity...

Like I've told scrappy, (obvious trying to rile me)
I've came on boards looking for advice on wether our not to prosecute HER for false allegations! The garda came to my place as an unofficial visit to inform me that the neighbor had accused me of something, they left my house MORE than happy with my version of events, there its no ' CASE'
I'm not looking someone to pat my back, and say there there, I was looking advice as to what way to proceed, thats it!

tbh

No offense op but it seems like you get wound up easily. Don't prosecute her, don't have anything to do with her.

nordiestar

tbh wrote: »

Completely and totally ignore her. Surprised you have to ask tbh.

So far you seem to have played into her hands by asking her what's wrong etc. Don't bother in future, she's playing games with you, and at the moment Shes winning.

I was asking should I ignore her OR seek legal advice though, the ignoring part hadn't changed since Nov 09, and things have fine too far now to ever change, I am here looking to know other folks opinions on how to close the book on her for good though, thats all

Taltos

Been watching this one closely.

OP - personally I would seek legal advice.
Not to seek damages or anything of that nature for character attacks etc - but more to protect yourself from more of these accusations.

They may suggest a form of mediation, as others have noted she may be just very lonely - and just not know how to interact with normal people. Now you may not want this and to be honest I would prefer as well to be left alone. But at least having sought professional advice you will know they lay of the land and who needs to be informed of what.

tbh

nordiestar wrote: »

I was asking should I ignore her OR seek legal advice though, the ignoring part hadn't changed since Nov 09, and things have fine too far now to ever change, I am here looking to know other folks opinions on how to close the book on her for good though, thats all

I feel for you, sounds like a nightmare. Hopefully she will get the message, the guards will probably warn her off too. Congrats on the new arrival - forget everything else as much as you can

Scrappychimow

nordiestar wrote: »

Like I've told scrappy, (obvious trying to rile me)
I've came on boards looking for advice on wether our not to prosecute HER for false allegations! The garda came to my place as an unofficial visit to inform me that the neighbor had accused me of something, they left my house MORE than happy with my version of events, there its no ' CASE'
I'm not looking someone to pat my back, and say there there, I was looking advice as to what way to proceed, thats it!

I am telling you out straight, I don't believe you, even if I meet you in person I wouldn't... you might pull the wool over other peoples eyes if they are foolish enough to believe you. I have heard of numerous amounts of cases where the 'model citizen' turned out to be guilty,but he portrayed an image of himself to 'butter wouldn't melt in the mouth' type character .

Like it or lump it you ain't brainwashing me.

On a side note, seriously how the hell can you people believe a poster on an internet forum?

tbh

Scrappychimow wrote: »

I am telling you out straight, I don't believe you, even if I meet you in person I wouldn't... you might pull the wool over other peoples eyes if they are foolish enough to believe you. I have heard of numerous amounts of cases where the 'model citizen' turned out to be guilty,but he portrayed an image of himself to 'butter wouldn't melt in the mouth' type character .

Like it or lump it you ain't brainwashing me.

On a side note, seriously how the hell can you people believe a poster on an internet forum?

Why would you bother lying? To be fair, what you believe - that hes started this thread in the hopes rhat some random guard will read it and recognise the case - requires a far greater stretch of the imagination than simply assuming he's telling the truth.

Scrappychimow

tbh wrote: »

Why would you bother lying? To be fair, what you believe - that hes started this threadbin the hopes rhat sone random guard will read it and recognise the case - requires a far greater stretch of the imagination than simply assuming he's telling the truth.

Who said the op isn't the weird one?
Who said the op isn't telling us all the details?

There are some smart people out there that pull the wool over peoples eyes.

You can't honestly tell from a piece of text on a computer screen if the OP is a genuine person? very foolish.

Look at the 'crossbow canibal in the UK! No-one a phd student-wolf in sheeps clothing that pulled the wool over the less intelligent peoples eyes.

tbh

It's against the charter to accuse someone of making stuff up mate. Can't see why it bothers you so much either way tbh.

MrDarcy

Can you explain to us OP the context in which you asked the daughter into your house for drinks, to see if this can be cleared up??? Was your wife with you when you put this invitation to your neighbour???

If not she may well have felt uncomfortable with the request. If your wife was with you, given the times we are living in, your neighbour may have been even more uncomfortable with the request.

Do you not think the request was probably premature as it seemed that you hardly knew your neighbour???

I wouldn't invite a neighbour into my house for drinks unless I first of all knew them well as in knew their names, what they did, their background, etc and second of all unless my gut feeling with them was such that I actually wanted to build and maintain a friendship with them.

Outside of that I wouldn't be asking people to join me for drinks in my house to be honest... And as for you claiming that you didn't "deliberately omit to tell the Gardai that you had issued this invitation, you didn't explicitly state either that you had forgotten to mention it to the Gardai until after I had asked you about it...

Taltos

Lets see now.

New neighbours - no sugar to hand - so how about a nice cup of tea?
Was done all the time in this country not too long ago, growing up an elderly neighbour of mine spent more time in my house during the day than I did.

In fairness now if a thread is suspect of just plain wrong we can report it - I know I am guilty of that quite a bit. (Just waiting for the word from the mods to just leave them alone for a bit, or to see a poll on AfterHours for member with the trigger finger for the report button).

Also the way I look at it is we can never know both sides of the story, we can either accept as much as we can or ask questions to probe the situation more - not only for us to help - but for the OP to see how a situation may have been construed or mis-construed. But to call an OP a liar? - If I thought this I would have no hesitation in reporting the thread.

OP - either way, whatever the situation is here - best approach is to minimize contact as you have, speak to your local gardai to ensure there are no misunderstandings between you and the gardai - I am sure they do not enjoy their time being wasted chasing neighbours based on hunches, and consider just checking with a solicitor on what the best approach is for you to take should (just in case) this escalate further.

Well done though for trying to welcome new neighbours, nice to see some of the old friendliness is still around. Personally I would have thanked you and declined - but I am a bit of a strange bugger who enjoys chilling out at home without folk dropping by

thefeatheredcat

I think that you need to get proper context on this woman and her daughter from credible locals...

I understand there doesn't seem to have been much interaction in the community in the past (and correct if I'm wrong), and this woman may have a 'reputation' in the village, either based on hearsay/gossip of the locals or for all any of us know, has been subject to taunts/abuse/issues from the locals and kids where she last lived.

For all you know she's a decent woman that has been made an outcast/target by the village for some reason or other (which could have been many years ago) and was subject to ridicule/taunts/or perceived as 'that auld wan' up there who was just mistrustful of others for whatever reasons and hence was suspicious of your invitation of drinks and issues re her car.

re her daughter - who knows what her daughter has been through in the past - the mother may well be within her rights to be suspicious of the strangers next door that never said hello until the man asked her daughter over for a drink one evening and something was misunderstood. Yes it's unfortunate that the invitation was misinterpreted and perceived badly, but that's life and it happens. Maybe her daughter has been through the mill in life and is just being protective, or has a medical condition or mental disability or emotional issues.

I would suggest let her be if she wants to be let be, I'm sure she'll find out at some stage it wasn't yourself or your wife messing with the car and probably she'll never believe it til the day she witnesses it happen (assuming her tyres were slashed deliberately and not wear and tear, that the back window was smashed deliberately).

Either way, don't feud, you have no idea who she is and what she's been through and it sounds like she's given you a clear message to leave well alone. Who knows, maybe she'll warm up to you as the baby grows up a bit?

But I would take the advice of legal advice for your own protection if things should ever escalate for peace of mind really and not to prosecute, as afterall, what have you to take to the court? Taking an old woman to court for a few menial accusations that aren't been taken seriously by the guards anyway is just plain petty.
It would be a waste of court time that could be used for putting real criminals to justice and a waste of your money that you'll need to finance your family and your child's future - but you may get some background information on this woman from a credible source too from speaking to a few people in the local area of good standing and reputation (and a solicitor should be one of those).

nordiestar

MrDarcy wrote: »

Can you explain to us OP the context in which you asked the daughter into your house for drinks, to see if this can be cleared up??? Was your wife with you when you put this invitation to your neighbour???

If not she may well have felt uncomfortable with the request. If your wife was with you, given the times we are living in, your neighbour may have been even more uncomfortable with the request.

Do you not think the request was probably premature as it seemed that you hardly knew your neighbour???

I wouldn't invite a neighbour into my house for drinks unless I first of all knew them well as in knew their names, what they did, their background, etc and second of all unless my gut feeling with them was such that I actually wanted to build and maintain a friendship with them.


I'm
Outside of that I wouldn't be asking people to join me for drinks in my house to be honest... And as for you claiming that you didn't "deliberately omit to tell the Gardai that you had issued this invitation, you didn't explicitly state either that you had forgotten to mention it to the Gardai until after I had asked you about it...

It wasnt a case of forgetting to tell the garda, nor deliberately not telling them.
The neighbor and I had words, regarding me receiving a bill from her ref flat tires, a few weeks later garda arrives, asks me for my version of events, I tell the gard, THEN garda ask ME, IF, I had ever asked her daughter join for a drink.

Its not rocket science mate, on how our why I did not mention it to the garda.
If my understanding was the next door neighbor is wrongly accusing me of damaging her car, (with no mention of the daughter) how on gods earth COULD, or SHOULD I mention it?

nordiestar

Scrappychimow wrote: »

Who said the op isn't the weird one?
Who said the op isn't telling us all the details?

There are some smart people out there that pull the wool over peoples eyes.

You can't honestly tell from a piece of text on a computer screen if the OP is a genuine person? very foolish.

Look at the 'crossbow canibal in the UK! No-one a phd student-wolf in sheeps clothing that pulled the wool over the less intelligent peoples eyes.

Scrappy, I've had a look at some of your previous ' contributions' on boards, and tbh I couldn't care less what you think of me lol.

most threads you have an input in, seem to get closed pretty early for some reason.

Are we now singing from the same hymn sheet my friend?

Ickle Magoo

nordiestar, if you have an issue with a post or poster then report it rather than commenting on thread about another posters motives or posting history.

Thanks

Ickle

nordiestar

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

nordiestar, if you have an issue with a post or poster then report it rather than commenting on thread about another posters motives or posting history.

Thanks

Ickle

Sorry Ickle, not sure how to report a post, bear in mind I'm typing on my mobile.
Can you explain how I do this please? (never had to use this option before)

Thanks.

CiaranMT

Reminded me a bit of this story from The Clare People a while back. They only show the synopsis there but the full story was quite bizarre.

MrDarcy

nordiestar wrote: »

It wasnt a case of forgetting to tell the garda, nor deliberately not telling them.
The neighbor and I had words, regarding me receiving a bill from her ref flat tires, a few weeks later garda arrives, asks me for my version of events, I tell the gard, THEN garda ask ME, IF, I had ever asked her daughter join for a drink.

Its not rocket science mate, on how our why I did not mention it to the garda.
If my understanding was the next door neighbor is wrongly accusing me of damaging her car, (with no mention of the daughter) how on gods earth COULD, or SHOULD I mention it?

You could have and should have mentioned it because during your heated exchange with the mother before the Gardai arrived to talk to you, she all but told you that her opinion was that you had acted inappropriately and that she was minded to discuss it with your wife! This type of remark has one meaning and one meaning only when it reaches the ear of a young man who is in a committed relationship with a child on the way!

What you said originally was that you told the gardai everything you had told us in your original post, except that you didn't tell the Gardai that you had asked this girl into your home for a drink. You must have known from the following comment that you said in your OP that the mother had made to you, before the Gardai were ever called to your house, "I knew rightly what she was talking about, and that it was high time she had a good long chat with my wife", that the root cause of whatever issue that the mother had with you, was grounded in something that she felt was (A) inappropriate and also (B) something that your wife would need to be told about, and what else could this be other than the invitation to the daughter to come into your house for drinks???

So before the Gardai were involved here at all, the mother had put you on notice during the confrontation when she handed you a bill for car repairs, that as far as she was concerned, you had acted inappropriately and that in this regard, she was well minded to discuss this impropriety, whether real or imagined on your part, with your wife.

But when you were asked for your version of events by the Gardai, you somehow manage to omit in its entirety, the ONLY action on your part that could possibly have given the mother cause for concern, notwithstanding the fact that the mother herself had previously, during your confrontation, all but told you that whatever way you had gone about inviting this girl into your home for drinks, that you had left the impression in her mind that you were acting inappropriately and that she was minded to discuss this with your wife, surely no small allegation to be put up to a man who had just married and was starting a family???

Then I've asked you here at least twice to explain to us exactly how you went about issuing this invitation to the daughter and regrettably I'm none the wiser. Again, do you not think it is a litte OTT to be inviting a young neighbour of the opposite sex into your home for drinks without really knowing anything whatsoever about them???

In hindsight, would it not have been more appropriate for your wife to have issued this invitation, given that your neighbour was a young female that neither of you knew well, I imagine similar in age to yourself???

Your explanation for not telling the Gardai that you invited the girl into your house for drinks, despite the mother having all but told you that this was where the problem with you had originated, as far as she was concerned, it doesn't add up to be honest.

To be honest the impression I get from all your posts so far is that you are a fairly naiive individual.

Firstly I wouldn't have agreed to inviting a neighbour into my home for drinks unless I had known them much better than you appeared to have known this particular neighbour.

If I was happy that they were on the same wavelength as myself, after having spent some considerable time getting to properly know them and suss them out, as distinct from exchanging smiles with them on a handful of occasions, and my wife and I wanted to build a friendship with them, I'd INSIST that my wife do the initial inviting, as it was a female that was being asked.

thefeatheredcat

I think MrDarcy has raised a point that has my brain in a flap. How old exactly is the mother? I've re-read the original post. I'm not passing judgement but I can see how the mother would have gotten the wrong perception by looking at things from her point of view and bearing in mind she might just be a bit old fashioned in some ways regardless of age.

nordiestar wrote: »

The guard then asked me, did I ever make an advance on her daughter, i.e ask her in for a drink? I told the gaurd that about three years ago, I had asked her in 'some evening' to which the guard actually said to me, you invired her in as, inviting her in to your house to have a drink with you and your wife? I said of course!!!!!

Assuming the mother is somewhere between 60s-80s, and I take it she wasn't present when you invited her daughter for a drink with you and your wife. The Guard's question and the way it's posted as quoted above, shows that even though the invite was well-intentioned for the polite neighbourly reasons, somewhere something has been taken up wrong. Maybe the daughter explained it badly and the mother (with an old fashioned outlook) took it from there and both misinterpreted the actual intention of being friendly as you being basically a blaggard..

It would certainly explain the dirty looks and her saying she needed to have a chat with your wife in that she took the intention up wrong and perhaps for her own reasons saw reason to believe that you were attempting to instigate an affair with her daughter.

From her point of view and with the misinterpretation of the invitation, it doesn't exactly put you in good light from her shoes. Maybe she never had hassle with her car before and took up either the bad luck with her car as you hoping to keep her quiet (bear in mind she might have thought you wanted an affair with her daughter) and not tell your wife about the invitation by effectively blackmailing/threatening her.

I can see the logic in that alright from her point of view.

I'd be interested to know though what would come out if the mother and your wife should sit down and talk together, as in if they sat and talked together, it would be a chance to find out what the mother is thinking and get an idea of her point of view and offer a chance to set things straight and clear your name.

I don't doubt for a second that you're innocent on this OP I actually think it's a bit of an unfortunate misunderstanding... it's actually heart warming in a way that the neighbour next door would actually look out for both her own daughter and your wife in (although incorrectly) suspecting you of attempting to have an affair with her daughter behind your wife's back.

I think I can see it from the the mother's point of view.... In my first year of college I stayed in digs for a few months, the tenants were both male and female and of course was live in land lady who was a pensioner and we got on really well.... I had both male and female friends. She had no problem with visitors to the house of either gender, but did not wish for the situation of male company upstairs in the room (I thought meant like boyfriends staying over and getting down to business). One of my male friends called over (and we were purely friends just hanging out) and went to listen to music upstairs. I had, without knowledge of it violated that rule and as a result had to leave. I couldn't get it, he was a friend that happened to be male. Thinking back she must have thought we were up to all sorts when in fact we weren't. She was just old fashioned in that way and assumed we were doing something more than just hanging out. And I don't blame her, it was just a misunderstanding and it had never crossed my mind that she would see a male friend as being in the same league as a boyfriend.

Scrappychimow

nordiestar wrote: »

Scrappy, I've had a look at some of your previous ' contributions' on boards, and tbh I couldn't care less what you think of me lol.

most threads you have an input in, seem to get closed pretty early for some reason.

Are we now singing from the same hymn sheet my friend?

First of all I am not your friend.

Second of all, you had a look at my previous posts and what? Did you find any threads about be sexually harassing girls ? No. lol as you say.

Nevyn

Scrappychimow banned for a week.

Ickle Magoo

nordiestar wrote: »

Sorry Ickle, not sure how to report a post, bear in mind I'm typing on my mobile.
Can you explain how I do this please? (never had to use this option before)

Thanks.

There should be a "report post" link under each post when using your phone.

nordiestar

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

There should be a "report post" link under each post when using your phone.

I see it now, it shows up as a litte (!) ,I was looking for text, stating 'report post'
Thanks

beer enigma

I started off feeling really sorry for nordiestar & now having read the full thread, I'm feeling TWICE as sorry for him ! - I certainly don't think the invite for the daughter should be an issue especially with your wife present - yeegods, has society declined to that degree !

I don't believe him to be naive at all - he sounds a genuinely neighbourly guy with a huge amount on his plate that's probably diminishing some of the elation he should be feeling with the newborn (congrats by the way).

As a relative newcomer to the village (3+ yrs in a small village is new, especially with a house bought off of plans - many villagers resent new builds to 'outsiders') it would be a huge step to approach the Gardai after the initial incident. Bearing in mind the Gds know that you are the new boy on the block - and I'm not in any way knocking the Gds, they will know most of the villagers & sometime, just sometimes, newcomers are seen as less likely to adjust. I lived in a small village some years back & it took me about 5 yrs before I felt fully accepted.

I just think that your neighbours are probably not quite the full matchbox - it must be hell for your wife too so soon after the baby when her mind is still adjusting to all things new. The thought of walking out of your front door always wondering if they are going to be on the driveway next to you would certainly freak me, and I speak from experience.

Have you tried putting a higher physical barrier between the houses ? not sure how feasible it is, but if not fencing, maybe trellis with something growing over it - at least you could get to your car without the worry.

I had a dodgy neighbour when I moved to Cork - we extended the house & she complained about everything - hardly a day went by without another letter from the council saying she's objected again & it got even worse each time they rejected her complaint. We put in hedging at the front exactly for the purpose that we didn't want eye contact with her when we left the house & from a personal point of view, it eased the stress hugely.

As to the Gds visit - may have been the best thing to have happened as they are clearly not implicating you & if she complains again runs the risk of a harassment charge. Out of interest, has she been near you since the Gds visited ?

nordiestar

Andip wrote: »

I started off feeling really sorry for nordiestar & now having read the full thread, I'm feeling TWICE as sorry for him ! - I certainly don't think the invite for the daughter should be an issue especially with your wife present - yeegods, has society declined to that degree !

I don't believe him to be naive at all - he sounds a genuinely neighbourly guy with a huge amount on his plate that's probably diminishing some of the elation he should be feeling with the newborn (congrats by the way).

As a relative newcomer to the village (3+ yrs in a small village is new, especially with a house bought off of plans - many villagers resent new builds to 'outsiders') it would be a huge step to approach the Gardai after the initial incident. Bearing in mind the Gds know that you are the new boy on the block - and I'm not in any way knocking the Gds, they will know most of the villagers & sometime, just sometimes, newcomers are seen as less likely to adjust. I lived in a small village some years back & it took me about 5 yrs before I felt fully accepted.

I just think that your neighbours are probably not quite the full matchbox - it must be hell for your wife too so soon after the baby when her mind is still adjusting to all things new. The thought of walking out of your front door always wondering if they are going to be on the driveway next to you would certainly freak me, and I speak from experience.

Have you tried putting a higher physical barrier between the houses ? not sure how feasible it is, but if not fencing, maybe trellis with something growing over it - at least you could get to your car without the worry.

I had a dodgy neighbour when I moved to Cork - we extended the house & she complained about everything - hardly a day went by without another letter from the council saying she's objected again & it got even worse each time they rejected her complaint. We put in hedging at the front exactly for the purpose that we didn't want eye contact with her when we left the house & from a personal point of view, it eased the stress hugely.

As to the Gds visit - may have been the best thing to have happened as they are clearly not implicating you & if she complains again runs the risk of a harassment charge. Out of interest, has she been near you since the Gds visited ?

Hi Andip, thanks for the kind words, (and somewhat confidence in me)

I have asked my father inlaw (builder) about a higher physical wall between our front premises, but he immediately ruled it out as a big no no due to planning restrictions etc.

And to be honest, I think some folk reading into this thread have the wrong end of the stick ref the gards visiting. The Gards were not in my house for a statement, nor to let me know a case would be brought against me.
The GArda called to tell me, in a friendly way that the next door neighbour had visited them and suggested that I may have damaged her car (may being the definitive word) the Garda present wanted to hear my side of events (from where the neighbour and us exchanged words)
I explained from start to finish, the ignoring part, me politely asking if we had done something to offend her, right up to the most recent one where she had stopped talking in riddles, and ACCUSED me of damaging her car, to which I was FURIOUS (I am 30 years old, manager of a company and have not so much as a speeding ticket)!

The Garda promptly left, satisfied that I was completely and honestly telling the full story, and told me they would 'put the woman straight'

Immediately after the garda left I called my mum inlaw, (who has been aware of EVERYTHING that happened with this neighbour from Nov 09- present day) and my mother in law ibasically told me, that it should be a huge weight of my shoulders as

1, I have satisfied folk that I have not nor WOULD not touch anyones property.

2, the part were I had been told that my wife would be informed about me (which had bith me and my wife stumped as to what this woman thought she had on me) had now been cleared.

I was then told by her, and my immediate family that a huge weight should be off my shoulder now, as I now KNEW what the neighbour actually was insinuating! (beforehand we could only guess)

I do still find it somewhat discomforting though, constantly wondering if Im being stared at from the house next door when Im watering plants in back garden etc.
In fact, just yesterday, my wife and I left the house for the first time with the new born to walk down to the local health centre, when low and behold, who did I just catch having a sneaky stare from behind her curtains?

My advice from ALL my friends and family has been to ignore this woman, to stop checking if shes in her drive before I leave MY house, and to carry on as if she doesnt exist as this will prob upset her more, knowing that I am no longer playing into her hands!

Hopefully all will be well, that ends well!

Star

MrDarcy

I'd say the issue here may well be that the daughter who received the invite for drinks is an utter odd ball. Maybe she doesn't get much male attention and next thing she gets asked over for a drink, knows full well that it's an entirely innocent request but decides to put a particular construction on the request to maybe get a bit of attention, knowing the mother will work with her to make a drama out of it. Sadly there are people out there who have little else to do with their time.

As for remedies, if it was me she was dealing with, she would have already received a solicitors letter reminding her of what will be very very serious and rapid consequences, up to and including the forced sale of her house to pay for legal damages, if she should be unwise enough to slander me again.

I'd also copy the local superintendent on the letter as well.

It might not be a bad idea to get a few trees put up to minimise further interaction beteen you.

Boskowski

Scrappychimow wrote: »

First of all I am not your friend.

Second of all, you had a look at my previous posts and what? Did you find any threads about be sexually harassing girls ? No. lol as you say.

Couldn't contain my curiosity. And I see lots of posts indicating a bored, somewhat disturbed and pretty full of himself young fella who could do with a good kick up the arse.