funniest insult you ever recieved

Rocky_Dennis · 14-09-2010 06:06PM #1

I have fairly bushy eyebrows, always get them cut when I am getting my haircut, today, one of the barbers told me that my eyebrows were like 2 fences in the grand national, all I could do was laugh.

Anyone else ever get a funny insult or hear a funny insult?

who what when · 14-09-2010 06:09PM

My brother once called me inbred in front of my parents!

Actually come to think of it 'ye inbred little bastard' were his exact words.
So not only were my parents closely related but they were also un-married!
More of an insult to them than me really but all concerned were oblivious!

Havermeyer · 14-09-2010 06:09PM

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

I have fairly bushy eyebrows, always get them cut when i am getting my haircut, 1day, 1 of the barbers told me that my eyebrows were like 2 fences in the grand national, all i could do was laugh.

Any1else ever get a funny insult or hear a funny insult?

You should name them Canal Turn and Becher's Brook. :P

NothingMan · 14-09-2010 06:11PM

My surname is Palmer and as a kid other kids use to chant "The bus broke down in Palmerstown".

I didn't see how it was an insult then either but they really thought they were sticking it to me. Idiot kids, what idiots.

Coolbreeze2809 · 14-09-2010 06:14PM

A charming young gentleman in a tracksuit and air max runners: ''Smell o cognac off ya!''

kingtut · 14-09-2010 06:17PM

Obviously not meant as an insult but this made me giggle (the edit made to the OPs post)

:D:D:

Last edited by biko; Today at 18:10. Reason: translated from txt spk to English

Mr. Manager · 14-09-2010 06:17PM

NothingMan wrote: »

My surname is Palmer and as a kid other kids use to chant "The bus broke down in Palmerstown".

I didn't see how it was an insult then either but they really thought they were sticking it to me. Idiot kids, what idiots.

something slightly similar. . . my last name is Bergin and people in school used to call me Nuggets.

surely burger would have made more sense. Again,

J2D2 · 14-09-2010 06:19PM

The Funniest Insult i ever received,

Once when i was out with my OH in town, we bumped into her Ex (they were friends at the time) and he was with his new girlfriend, he tried to insult me by saying "are you in Leaving Cert or what?" not realising his girlfriend was in the same year & course in college as me.

What made it funnier was he was ten years older than us!

kielmanator · 14-09-2010 06:20PM

my last name is kiely. All the other kids on the bus used to call me kylie minogue! Never really got why they thought they were insulting me!

MitchKoobski · 14-09-2010 06:21PM

My nickname was Atkins.Then for a while I was pretty fat.

Fat + Atkins = Fatkins

It's stuck ever since...the bastards...

Mr. Manager · 14-09-2010 06:22PM

kielmanator wrote: »

...Never really got why they thought they were insulting me!

Cos you're name's Kiely. . . Like Kylie Minogue. . . The FEMALE singer... Getting the picture Kylie

*Cheap shot, sorry. Couldn't resist

brummytom · 14-09-2010 06:26PM

NothingMan wrote: »

My surname is Palmer and as a kid other kids use to chant "The bus broke down in Palmerstown".

I didn't see how it was an insult then either but they really thought they were sticking it to me. Idiot kids, what idiots.

People love taking the piss out of people's names. My uncle's surname is Houston; he works in a job where he has to use walkie-talkies a lot.

He said he gets "Houston, we have a problem" at least 10 times a day.

My surname's fairly boring, the worst I get's 'Meeharrrrrrr' in a horse-y way

Dunjohn · 14-09-2010 06:26PM

John, John the Leprechaun was the basic one.

John "Bon-Bon" Jovi was one of the more puzzling ones.

allanb49 · 14-09-2010 06:34PM

Ah fooking goth. walking by kids while wearing blue jeans and a tshirt. me and my mate where pissing ourselves Lauging. kids where bout 10

EKRIUQ · 14-09-2010 06:37PM

best one I've see on an internet forum is

listen cockface...you are the most vile cumstain I've ever encountered on this forum. You monopolise this thread you come across with some half arsed one liner that would'nt qualify for the Podge and Rodge show and then present yourself like you are the King of comedy on UK prime time. You epitomise most of what I detest about the internet...opinions formed at the drop of a hat....petty jokes at the expense of others with no thought for their feelings and most of all the self absorbing egotistical self correction of spelling that really points out to every other poster that the highlight of your day is a **** to "The Star Newspaper". You don't have the friends here you perceive yourself to have and have the intellect of a gnat and the culmination of this scenario will be your demise in a slow and agonising manner.

Zipp101 · 14-09-2010 06:40PM

Once a lad roared at a passing girl:

" I'd rather get up on Monday mornin' "

blackbird98 · 14-09-2010 06:46PM

after trying to fix something for my bro-in-law, he told me "you're like lighthouse in the bog, brilliant but f***ing useless" he was joking

blackbird98 · 14-09-2010 06:48PM

guy meets his ex's new boyfriend and says "hows the second-hand fan*y?"

"Great" says the new boyfriend "after the first 3 inches, it like brand new"

Nolanger · 14-09-2010 06:51PM

You're not even that good looking!

glennb · 14-09-2010 06:57PM

Texas chain masacar hair........state of your hair.

I dont really get it I think it is because i have a mohawk and something about it made him think this was smart?

Also some members of the traveling community think chicken head was a good one. :rolleyes:

stimpson · 14-09-2010 07:01PM

My maths teacher used to say I was a well balanced child - I had a chip on both shoulders. I didn't really - it was just that he was a c*nt.

Shelli2 · 14-09-2010 07:03PM

Skinny little rake of a yoke, calling me a fat bitch, while her ten tonne friend is standing beside her grinning like a moron!

Also, when things turned nasty with my ex he took to screaming "cradle snatcher" at me across the pub, and other similar themed insults becuase my new (current) OH is 4 years younger than me.
That line of insults stopped quick smart when he, at the ripe age of 25, started dating a 30 year old, who he's now engaged to. LOL

Phill Ewinn · 14-09-2010 07:03PM

Nolanger wrote: »

You're not even that good looking!

....and you've no langer.

cypharius · 14-09-2010 07:05PM

Me and my friend were called "Poxy Smartholes" because we were using big words like "deliberate".

Daemos · 14-09-2010 07:10PM

When I was a mod I was once called a "bad god" :rolleyes:

14-09-2010 07:39PM

I was called a river cricket before. I looked it up and it's a derogatory name for Black people. My nickname used to be Casper btw.:pac:

Any key? · 14-09-2010 08:17PM

" hey white girl you ain't so white".......

Proxy · 14-09-2010 08:49PM

I have quite bright, almost orange hair.

A bouncer once told me to "fvck off ya fluorescent pr!ck"

It was so funny at the time, I shook his hand

fonecrusher1 · 14-09-2010 08:58PM

Friend said his girlfriend was "like a goat looking at lightning" one day when she was watching Countdown.

She wasn't happy. He got a good few hard slaps on the shoulder as the both of us laughed uncontrollably for 3 minutes. I'd never heard the expression until then. It was more the look on her face after he said it which made me crumble.

deepsouthtalla · 14-09-2010 09:07PM

The best insult i have ever heard is your noting but a "Whores Abortion"

ejmaztec · 14-09-2010 09:09PM

who what when wrote: »

My brother once called me inbred in front of my parents!

Which one of you was adopted?

funniest insult you ever recieved

Comments