Moved in with Closest Friend

11-09-2010 02:33PM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

As I said earlier I sent the mom a text saying "the keys will be in [x] garda station tonight at 6 for you to collect".

She then phoned me and hurled abuse down the phone saying "u have no f*cking option the keys are to dropped into my letter box give me back my f*cking property give me back my f*cking property" then she hung up, i didn't get one word in so I re-sent the text saying they'd be in the station at 6.

After numerous calls from both her and her daughter throughout the day my own mum decided to phone the garda station to inform them of the situation and to ask would it be possible to leave the keys with them and they said yes. They asked for the mother's number to phone her to let her know that the keys would be there then they phoned me back to say that she wanted them to be there at 9 (we said it's be 10). All was OK,, until the guard asked me if i had all my belongings out of the apt and I realised i had forgotten a brand new pair of heels. So i told him that and he suggested we do an exchange - my heels for the keys. This was said to the mother and she said no. So obviously we said the deal could not go ahead then.

At half 9 i received a phone call from "my friend" to say she was in the station with the shoes and that they had refused to take them - absolute BS. So I said well if you come ot my house you can hand me the shoes in person and i'll give you the keys. She refused to do this.

Since, I've received several texts off her and the mother -

to quote a few -

her mum - "where is my property u had until 10 to hand in thekeys. I'm now ringing the police staion"

her daughter - "**** off u little spa. guards are on their way to yours now so its too late for you.."

her mum - " ur in trouble now. the guard is not happy and they already seem to know you. You have been ur past very well. ha ha"

her daughter - "ur nothin but a jealous manipulative little girl with some major mental health issues. you should go on anti-depressants. not cuz ur normal......ur actually a joke"

her daughter - "just wait and see what i'm going to do to you .."

Her daughter then phoned at 2am to say that she's just made a formal complaint about me to the guards.

This is seriously messed up - I never ONCE refused not to give them back the keys. I said it would be there in the evening and as a result of them refusing to drop off my belongings in exchange for the keys they've both gone AWOL. Surely they don't have anything against me?? I've done nothing wrong whatsoever and i dont deserve these threats. Not alone am I distraught over all of this but my family have been stressing all night for fear of what both her and her mom would be capable of doing (smashing the cars/windows/etc)

I don't know where to go from here I just want them both to stop texting me - I haven't even been replying yet the incoming texts are one after the other!

As others have said,drop the keys in for fecks sake and forget about the heels.

Show the guard the abusive texts by the way and ask him about getting those numbers barred.
Theres no point in changing your number to be honest,I wouldn't bother as they'll only get it somehow from someone.
Just don't answer private numbers or numbers you don't know for a while.

LegacyUser · 11-09-2010 02:59PM

So my brother and dad met her today to swap the shoes for the keys. The zapper has gone missing so that's the only issue if she pursues to get money off me for it. I haven't heard how it went yet as they're only on their way home now. I did however receive a text from my brother a few minutes ago saying that it was horrific and that he made a show of himself in public trying to defend me and he wants my word that i'll not make a fool of him by continuing contact with them ever again. This I can guarantee I won't. I really want to move on now, I'm going to change my number this evening and that's it.

I just want to thank you all for your replies/advice. I greatly appreciate it and i'm very glad I posted this thread because if I didn't I think I would still be living there. I managed to see something in her that I felt was genuine but how wrong I was. Anyways I'm going to look of making new freinds, join some activities and look into sharing with some nice people.

Once again thanks ..

LegacyUser · 11-09-2010 03:32PM

Hi OP,

Sorry you are going through this situation when i was your age i went through similar times and as the years go on life gets easier because you get better friends, girls can be so bitchy sometimes and have a lot of power in certain groups but be assured that over time that power fades, What you could learn out of this situation is to know who your real friends are, surround yourself with gentle loving people, get conscious about that and who you are around, next time you want to move out with someone try and move with someone you dont know, i personally feel that the best house share situation is when you dont know the person and you keep to yourself, i struggled with sharing with people because when you got personal things got tricky... your home is your sanctuary and you need that space for yourself, there is nothing worse then living with bad tension.

These people you are dealing with seem to just be idiots, just know that they are and get as far away from them as you can, the sooner this all ends the sooner you can process it all and go back to normal, dont freak out too much about all this even though it has been very upsetting these experiences are valuable lessons and at least you are not wasting your time with a crap friend anymore and you have seen her for who she is.... try see the positives, but mind yourself and take some time to get back on your feet, also i always think it is an even harder thing to ask for advice on boards because it can make things worse, people can be fairly blunt and judgmental when they are not involved, so just try take care of yourself, all the best xoxo

Richy06 · 11-09-2010 03:42PM

Glad it got worked out! Join a club! Martial arts maybe! Great for meeting people!

shoes34 · 11-09-2010 05:33PM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

I did however receive a text from my brother a few minutes ago saying that it was horrific and that he made a show of himself in public trying to defend me and he wants my word that i'll not make a fool of him by continuing contact with them ever again. This I can guarantee I won't. I really want to move on now, I'm going to change my number this evening and that's it.

Once again thanks ..

Your welcome, and do stick to the promise you made your brother, don't contact them if they contact you again don't contact them, she'll soon get fed up if you just ignore her and move on with your life.

tinkerbell · 11-09-2010 09:53PM

Holy crap OP, that girl and her mother sound like complete PSYCHOS. I don't know why you even thought of moving in with this girl in the first place considering how she has previously behaved. So seriously - chalk this up to experience and never ever get yourself in that doormat position again.

Life is too short to be pussy-footing around people and not standing up for yourself.

CDfm · 12-09-2010 03:24AM

Lone Stone wrote: »

You should probably inform the landlord or the letting agency about the situation so she will get a bad references if she trys to rent another place with someone.

This is a very bad idea.

Big Bag of Chips · 12-09-2010 06:07PM

CDfm wrote: »

This is a very bad idea.

+1 for 2 reasons

i) You'll just be drawing them on you again
ii) the landlord won't care - his/her only concern is that the rent is paid on time and the place is not trashed. Petty, personal squabbles won't interest him/her.

LegacyUser · 13-09-2010 11:02AM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

I don't know what to do or if this is a good move or not. Aside from all this -

1) the mom's brother makes fake money and sends it over from england and her daughter uses it all the time! I can only assume the mother does too as her daughter told me she's involved in it.

2) her mum is renting a four bed house yet has 8 students living there (she's sub letting it like she did with me with the apartment). The living room is converted into a bedroom as is the dining room downstairs.

3) her daughter works for a different uncle and gets paid by him yet she claims the dole.

4) her and her daughters name is ont he lease for this apartment yet me and her lived there oblivious tot he apartment owner. Sure the day we moved in i was told not to arrive til the evening in case the owner was around

.

you have plenty on them so. fake money is garda issue,you can mention that when dropping in the car park zapper. working and clainming dole is welfare fraud and the renting /subletting could be illegal ask local authority. hang them all!

shoes34 · 13-09-2010 12:23PM

I wouldn't bother spending any more precious time thinking about them, don't stoop to their level, you live and you learn about things and now you have found out what she is really like. You've moved out, just get on with your life now and enjoy your search for a new place to live, don't jump at the first one take a look around and make sure you feel comfortable with the person you move in with next time.

LegacyUser · 13-09-2010 01:44PM

She texted me yesterday morning saying "you have a hoodie belonging to me. I want it back". I didn't wb

And I don't plan on writing back either, I'm moving on

And last night I received a missed phone call from a number I didn't recognise at 4am!! I called it's voicemail today, and what do you know, it's her uncle. Cheek of him phoning me at 4AM on a sunday night.

There won't be any communication though!

shoes34 · 13-09-2010 03:33PM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

She texted me yesterday morning saying "you have a hoodie belonging to me. I want it back". I didn't wb

And I don't plan on writing back either, I'm moving on

Don't ever give in and write back, thats what she wants and also remember the promise you made to your brother. Just think onwards and upwards, you will make some fantastic friends out there and in a few months/years you'll laugh at this story. Best of luck.

tinkerbell · 13-09-2010 05:57PM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

She texted me yesterday morning saying "you have a hoodie belonging to me. I want it back". I didn't wb

And I don't plan on writing back either, I'm moving on

And last night I received a missed phone call from a number I didn't recognise at 4am!! I called it's voicemail today, and what do you know, it's her uncle. Cheek of him phoning me at 4AM on a sunday night.

There won't be any communication though!

You need to get a new phone number - they can't ring you at 4am then.

Oryx · 13-09-2010 06:16PM

Or just stick the phone on silent while you sleep.

Fittle · 13-09-2010 07:55PM

OP, I've been following your thread, and well done.

Can I just say to those of you who are telling the OP she likes the drama etc...

At 19, life is quite dramatic. I remember when i was 19, I had similar stuff happen to me with my sister in law/boyfriends/housemate or whoever. Back in that day though, there was no such thing as boards and I can honestly say that if there was, it would have saved the eardrums of alot of my friends/family from listening to my rantings!!

I do think you need to ignore every call from them Op, just for a week or two because they'll get sick of this drama and move on to the next one. Well done again;)

LegacyUser · 13-09-2010 09:27PM

OP, just to re-emphasize what others have said;
Do not respond to ANY form of future contact that they may attempt to make. Whether this contact is another false attempt at friendship, "sorting it out", or a false apology, do NOT fall for it! This girl seems like the type who even after all that happened, could very easily in a week or two offer a false apology, this is only because she will miss having someone to control, so don't fall for it.

I hope you have saved all those threatening/abusive texts that they have sent, and I would really advise showing them to a guard. In the hope that you don't want to have any more drama with them, you can tell the guard that you don't want to make a formal complaint/or for them to be contacted over it just yet, BUT ask them just to make a note of what was sent to have it saved on record. If they continue in the future to send more threatening/ abusive msgs, or persist in ringing you at all hours, then go back to the same guard station,and as they will already have the previous incidents on record, it will help your case for making it a formal complaint. Once someone in the station has a record of the txts, you should delete them from your phone, and move on in the hope that will be the end of it all.

Also, tell your friends in work the full story of what happened, and how her and her mother behaved. If this girl is as devious as she sounds, she could chance her arm at manipulating your other friends [if she also has contact with them?], so get your side of the story out there first.

I know how hard it can be to ignore calls and texts, when you just feel like biting the person's head off, or else feel like forgiving them if they are pretending to be sorry/nice again. An ex housemate pulled a similar stunt with me years ago trying to pretend I owed her money when I was moving out, and even rang my mother making up ****e about me! I never acted like a doormat with her though. As soon as she started threatening me with guards over money that I didn't even bloody owe![she was a thief looking for easy cash, and was annoyed that I was moving out], I said "oh that's ok, I'll call them for you"-basically guard took my side 100% and said that if she didn't hand over my stuff, she would be in A LOT of trouble. I got my clothes, but noticed later that some of my jewellery was kept by her. I just left it, as was so glad to be rid of her. She rang and texted me constantly FOR MONTHS. Sometimes giving horrible abuse, other times leaving apologetic voicemails. Fckin Nutjob!
It was my friends who told me to ignore every single thing she did, and it took every single ounce of my restraint to do so, but I'm glad I did now, cos haven't heard from the cow in almost a year.
Be strong and determined about this cut in contact, and never give in no matter what.
Move on with your current friends and perhaps try to form closer bonds with them. Good luck anyhow,and when you see what good friends you could have, it will all be worth it that you completely cut her from your life.

RockinRolla · 14-09-2010 01:29AM

If you play your cards right, you should get in there and then you'll be sleeping in the bedroom with the ensuite if it means that much to you.

LegacyUser · 14-09-2010 02:11AM

Her uncle should not be calling you, show that to the guards if he does it again. If you have any more of her stuff pack it all up in a box and take it to the previous guard get him to give it to them and walk away, the sooner you have nothing left for them to call you for the better.

LegacyUser · 14-09-2010 10:20AM

Fittle wrote: »

OP, I've been following your thread, and well done.

Can I just say to those of you who are telling the OP she likes the drama etc...

At 19, life is quite dramatic. I remember when i was 19, I had similar stuff happen to me with my sister in law/boyfriends/housemate or whoever. Back in that day though, there was no such thing as boards and I can honestly say that if there was, it would have saved the eardrums of alot of my friends/family from listening to my rantings!!

Thanks for that input. I think some people reading this thread have copped who I actually am (as in my real username on this site) and have jumped to the conclusion that I'm looking for attention...

That is not the case at all hence I've gone anonymous, certainly won't be attending any boards beers now though due to the embarrassment of people on this knowing my experience ! Also I'd appreciate if people wouldn't link or accidentally say my name, thanks.

And you're dead right, if I hadn't of posted this thread looking for advice then I can guarantee I know 100% that I would have forgiven her and have moved back in so posting this thread was the best thing I've done in a long time. So thanks for that Fittle.

Ignore Them!! wrote: »

OP, just to re-emphasize what others have said;
Do not respond to ANY form of future contact that they may attempt to make. Whether this contact is another false attempt at friendship, "sorting it out", or a false apology, do NOT fall for it! This girl seems like the type who even after all that happened, could very easily in a week or two offer a false apology, this is only because she will miss having someone to control, so don't fall for it.

I haven't replied to anything and I never will, on my nana's grave I swear I never will. I'll never forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated like a doormat but that's soon going to change and I'll prove that to myself by not replying to her, her mom, or her uncles.

Ignore Them!! wrote: »

I hope you have saved all those threatening/abusive texts that they have sent, and I in the station has a record of the txts, you should delete them from your phone, and move on in the hope that will be the end of it all.

Yes I've saved them all, thanks

Taltos · 14-09-2010 10:28AM

Personally I have no clue who you are and to be honest have no interest in finding out. So please stop worrying and don't let this incident stop you mingling or having a life.

The Recliner · 14-09-2010 10:29AM

OP_so_upset wrote: »

That is not the case at all hence I've gone anonymous, certainly won't be attending any boards beers now though due to the embarrassment of people on this knowing my experience ! Also I'd appreciate if people wouldn't link or accidentally say my name, thanks.

If you see any instances of this report them or PM myself or any of the Mods and we will remove them

I know we have removed some but we may have missed some also

Also I wouldn't avoid the beers over this, if you look around the site you will see people reveal far more embarassing things about themselves than you ahve done here

Moved in with Closest Friend

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