Moved in with Closest Friend

CDfm

OP_so_upset wrote: »

I just sent her mum this as she's the lease holder -

"I have moved out and will post the key to your house. I have never felt so betrayed and i dont deserve to be treated the way I have been. And "Laura", until you discipline her she'll continue to throw tantrums at people and she'll never change. It's a pity but what can you do i deserve so much better"

I'm really regretting sending it now as I wasn't tough in it and I come across vulnerable. I should have been more aggressive but it's sent now so I cant turn back, I haven't received any reply as yet..

Sweet.

Well done OP I didnt think you had it in you.

Its plenty assertive and says it all-i have moved out and its all laura's fault and its your problem not mine.

i can almost hear "why did you not behave till i got my 800 "

LegacyUser

This is the latest.

Her mum replied to my text.

"I want the keys and car fob today post them in my letter box by 6pm. Do not put them in the post as they are too valuable. I should never have trusted u. You haven't changed a bit. U have my property and i want it back today."

I wrote back -

"Should've disciplined your daughter in fairness "laura"

She has just responded with -

"None of your business any longer look at your own bad behaviour. I just want my property back and my daughter and u should never see each other again and i will make sure of this".

I'm not going to reply. I haven't done anything wrong at all, i never have in the past either so I don't know how she's manipulating this. This woman ("my friends" mom) has phoned me on several occasions telling me how she can't control "my friend" and just before moving in she sent me a text saying "i'm with you all the way" as she knew I was terrified of her daughter pulling something like this.

I phoned my mum there and she's really annoyed at how both "my friend" and her mom are behaving and she said that it's time to cut contact, move on and take up some activities to meet people. In realtion to the key and car park zapper she said we should leave them in her local garda station for her to pick up.

I don't know what to do or if this is a good move or not. Aside from all this -

1) the mom's brother makes fake money and sends it over from england and her daughter uses it all the time! I can only assume the mother does too as her daughter told me she's involved in it.

2) her mum is renting a four bed house yet has 8 students living there (she's sub letting it like she did with me with the apartment). The living room is converted into a bedroom as is the dining room downstairs.

3) her daughter works for a different uncle and gets paid by him yet she claims the dole.

4) her and her daughters name is ont he lease for this apartment yet me and her lived there oblivious tot he apartment owner. Sure the day we moved in i was told not to arrive til the evening in case the owner was around

They're a really dodgy family and having been seriously hurt once by them i don't want them to do it to me again! I've already been forced out of my own apartment and i'm really dreading this evening because I was so looking forward to having a friend or 2 over this weekend to celebrate the moving in, now I'm going to be sitting at home tonight crying more than likely while she throws a big party in what used to be "my apartment".

I know i'm only 19 and i have a lot ahead of me but i'm in this situation at present and tbh i don't think it's going to blow over that easily considering the mom and uncle both have my mobile number and know where i live.

Big Bag of Chips

CDfm wrote: »

i can almost hear "why did you not behave till i got my 800 "

I doubt it, it'll be more like a text back to OP saying: "Who do you think you are? My Laura is a perfect angel and she's so much better off without the likes of you hanging off her" !

They will never be at fault for anything, so will never take any responsibilty for anything.. it'll always be someone else's problem!

Well done OP...

NOW, next step - Don't contact either of them, ever again. EVER!

You've said what you needed to say, so now there's nothing more to say. If you respond to any communication from either of them, they will just be able to start a row and make you feel bad about yourself again.

The text was enough. You have nothing left to say.. so say nothing.

Delete both their numbers now. Block her from your facebook etc. Move on and find some friends. She has never been your friend, and no matter what her promises, she is incapable of being your friend. If she ever had even minimal respect for you she would never have treated you like she has.

You're well rid!

Plek Trum

Well thank god you sent that txt - get the key in the post this minute, put a 'track and trace' number from the Post Office on it so you can confirm that it arrived.

Delete their numbers and do not, under any circumstances, even acknowledge any contact they might attempt.

Good for you standing up for yourself. You should be proud you made a decision and removed yourself from there. Plenty of accomodation around the place, why not look at getting a place yourself and interviewing housemates that YOU might like to share with you?

Take your time if you have a place at home in the meantime, there's plenty of time to be out renting. Better to be patient and get the best apartment and housemates that you can rather than rushing out and taking a room in a house.

Best of luck and I hope you get settled into a new pad soon and enjoy it! x

CDfm

i dont think so -i imagine that it was a budgeting exercise and it would have been more convenient if the op was compliant.

no matter who you are getting stuck for 800 you are expecting hurts and mummy will have to face up to it that this could be an ongoing situation

Fittle

OP, firstly well done on dealing with this bully. Everyone has a flatshare nightmare story, and in time, you will be telling this story with a smile on your face as you will be so settled in your new accomodation:)

Can I ask if you HAVE to move out of home at this moment? It sounds like your family welcomed you home with open arms - is there pressure on you to move out of there right now? I ask because I think it would be good for you to stay in a nice secure environment for a few weeks at least, just to get over this situation. I'd hate for you to make a rash decision, and jump at the next house share only to find out it's also not suitable.

Just my thoughts, and well done again:)

shoes34

OP_so_upset wrote: »

This is the latest.

Her mum replied to my text.

"I want the keys and car fob today post them in my letter box by 6pm. Do not put them in the post as they are too valuable. I should never have trusted u. You haven't changed a bit. U have my property and i want it back today."




I phoned my mum there and she's really annoyed at how both "my friend" and her mom are behaving and she said that it's time to cut contact, move on and take up some activities to meet people. In realtion to the key and car park zapper she said we should leave them in her local garda station for her to pick up.


They're a really dodgy family and having been seriously hurt once by them i don't want them to do it to me again! I've already been forced out of my own apartment and i'm really dreading this evening because I was so looking forward to having a friend or 2 over this weekend to celebrate the moving in, now I'm going to be sitting at home tonight crying more than likely while she throws a big party in what used to be "my apartment".

I know i'm only 19 and i have a lot ahead of me but i'm in this situation at present and tbh i don't think it's going to blow over that easily considering the mom and uncle both have my mobile number and know where i live.

don't let them ruin your weekend, do you have mutual friends with this person, if so don't make them take sides they will find out in good time what she is really like if she asks one of them to move in.

Go out with your boyfriend and enjoy yourself.

I would do as your Mum suggests and leave the keys in the Garda Station for her and that way she can't say she never got them.

As for the Mum and the Uncle if they harrass you in anyway go straight to the Gardai.

Seriously go out and enjoy yourself, can you have friends over to your own home, I know its not the same as having a house warming but try and not let this ruin your weekend. Even go out for drinks with your work colleagues if they go after work on Fridays and tell them your story over a beer and I guarantee you someone else in the group with have something similar happen to them.

Taltos

Do NOT go to her place at 6pm.

Do as suggested by your Mum - leave them in the Garda station or get someone else to drop them off.

Chances are they will be waiting for you...

Don't reply to any more texts. Just send one final one.
"Keys are in X Garda station in an envelope marked with your name. XXXX is ther garda I left them with and he will be on duty until whatever time to personally hand them to you."

In terms of the other junk - put it all behind you. Don't get sucked into a trap of battling with them. If they are as wiley as you say I am sure they have a few ways out. Just put this miserable family behind you and get on with your life.

Moomoo1

OP_so_upset wrote: »

This is the latest.

Her mum replied to my text.

"I want the keys and car fob today post them in my letter box by 6pm. Do not put them in the post as they are too valuable. I should never have trusted u. You haven't changed a bit. U have my property and i want it back today."

I wrote back -

"Should've disciplined your daughter in fairness "laura"

She has just responded with -

"None of your business any longer look at your own bad behaviour. I just want my property back and my daughter and u should never see each other again and i will make sure of this".

I'm not going to reply. I haven't done anything wrong at all, i never have in the past either so I don't know how she's manipulating this. This woman ("my friends" mom) has phoned me on several occasions telling me how she can't control "my friend" and just before moving in she sent me a text saying "i'm with you all the way" as she knew I was terrified of her daughter pulling something like this.

I phoned my mum there and she's really annoyed at how both "my friend" and her mom are behaving and she said that it's time to cut contact, move on and take up some activities to meet people. In realtion to the key and car park zapper she said we should leave them in her local garda station for her to pick up.

I don't know what to do or if this is a good move or not. Aside from all this -

1) the mom's brother makes fake money and sends it over from england and her daughter uses it all the time! I can only assume the mother does too as her daughter told me she's involved in it.

2) her mum is renting a four bed house yet has 8 students living there (she's sub letting it like she did with me with the apartment). The living room is converted into a bedroom as is the dining room downstairs.

3) her daughter works for a different uncle and gets paid by him yet she claims the dole.

4) her and her daughters name is ont he lease for this apartment yet me and her lived there oblivious tot he apartment owner. Sure the day we moved in i was told not to arrive til the evening in case the owner was around

They're a really dodgy family and having been seriously hurt once by them i don't want them to do it to me again! I've already been forced out of my own apartment and i'm really dreading this evening because I was so looking forward to having a friend or 2 over this weekend to celebrate the moving in, now I'm going to be sitting at home tonight crying more than likely while she throws a big party in what used to be "my apartment".

I know i'm only 19 and i have a lot ahead of me but i'm in this situation at present and tbh i don't think it's going to blow over that easily considering the mom and uncle both have my mobile number and know where i live.

bottom line is, you won and they lost. Never forget that. You didn't lose any money (_very_ lucky as in 99% of cases you'd have to forfeit your deposit and first week's rent, plus charges - up to 1000-1500 euro in some cases) and all you lost is the flat - but there are many others.

They on the other hand now have to find a new person to pay the rent (_not_ easy) and are now left funding a flat for two people. They cannot back out of the lease without big losses. Not to mention the fact that everyone will hear of this story now and people won't exactly be rushing to live with her daughter.

dolphin city

OP_so_upset wrote: »

This is the latest.

Her mum replied to my text.

"I want the keys and car fob today post them in my letter box by 6pm. Do not put them in the post as they are too valuable. I should never have trusted u. You haven't changed a bit. U have my property and i want it back today."

I wrote back -

"Should've disciplined your daughter in fairness "laura"

She has just responded with -

"None of your business any longer look at your own bad behaviour. I just want my property back and my daughter and u should never see each other again and i will make sure of this".

I'm not going to reply. I haven't done anything wrong at all, i never have in the past either so I don't know how she's manipulating this. This woman ("my friends" mom) has phoned me on several occasions telling me how she can't control "my friend" and just before moving in she sent me a text saying "i'm with you all the way" as she knew I was terrified of her daughter pulling something like this.

I phoned my mum there and she's really annoyed at how both "my friend" and her mom are behaving and she said that it's time to cut contact, move on and take up some activities to meet people. In realtion to the key and car park zapper she said we should leave them in her local garda station for her to pick up.

I don't know what to do or if this is a good move or not. Aside from all this -

1) the mom's brother makes fake money and sends it over from england and her daughter uses it all the time! I can only assume the mother does too as her daughter told me she's involved in it.

2) her mum is renting a four bed house yet has 8 students living there (she's sub letting it like she did with me with the apartment). The living room is converted into a bedroom as is the dining room downstairs.

3) her daughter works for a different uncle and gets paid by him yet she claims the dole.

4) her and her daughters name is ont he lease for this apartment yet me and her lived there oblivious tot he apartment owner. Sure the day we moved in i was told not to arrive til the evening in case the owner was around

They're a really dodgy family and having been seriously hurt once by them i don't want them to do it to me again! I've already been forced out of my own apartment and i'm really dreading this evening because I was so looking forward to having a friend or 2 over this weekend to celebrate the moving in, now I'm going to be sitting at home tonight crying more than likely while she throws a big party in what used to be "my apartment".

I know i'm only 19 and i have a lot ahead of me but i'm in this situation at present and tbh i don't think it's going to blow over that easily considering the mom and uncle both have my mobile number and know where i live.

okay there seems to be a lot more to his story than an apartment not working out - there seems to be a lot of history and you should have walked away from each other years ago.

you are out now - give the keys back and don't go back - the end.

unless you like the drama of course, then you will be back within the month.

Kimia

Why did you text her back to say that she should be disciplining her daughter? You've said that a few times now and it's really weird. Who cares??

Look just ignore them.

MistyCheese

OP, have you sent the key yet? I'd just be worried that they will claim not to have recieved it and demand the money to replace it from you. Your best bet is to send the key by registered post - that way someone will have to sign and confirm that they have recieved the key.

shoes34

At the end of the day the op is only 19, we've all done silly things at 19, so there is no point in asking her why she did something, she's looking for advise, has gotten and has done something about it.

seamus

MistyCheese wrote: »

OP, have you sent the key yet? I'd just be worried that they will claim not to have recieved it and demand the money to replace it from you. Your best bet is to send the key by registered post - that way someone will have to sign and confirm that they have recieved the key.

That costs money.

Handing it into the Garda station seems by far to be the best solution.

MrsA

If you have proof that there are people in the family scamming the country by claiming social welfare fraudulently then you need to go about reporting that as well. You owe them nothing, and we all have a civic duty to weed out people who are stealing out of our very pockets.

Give over on the discipling issue, she is a 19 year old woman, not a 3 year old girl.

Fuinseog

OP_so_upset wrote: »

Hi all,

Bit of an intro. Myself and my best friend moved into an apartment last week.
We're both 19.
I work, she's starting college.
I'm paying my rent, her mum's paying hers.

One room has an en suite, the other has a main bathroom. Anyways all along we said we would flip a coin to see who gets the en suite. The day came when we moved in and she had 4 of her mates and her boyfriend help her move, while I had one mate. We were all sitting around and I asked her when she was ready to flip and she laughed and said "no way am I flipping the en suite is mine". Now I wasn't the only person who was shocked by such a selfish reaction, yet no one stood up for me, not one person opened their mouth to tell her how wrong she was.

Anyways they all eventually left and me and her sat down to discuss it and what happened - she phoned her mum, and her mum asked to speak to me, we spoke, and she told me I was to stop been selfish and give her the bedroom as "her daughter has grown up with an en suite so it'd be weird for her not to have one". WTF???

Needless to say she has the en suite. We didn't flip. She just got it. I know it's only an en suite at the end of the day and it's pretty trivial in comparison to most stories posted on here but I spent all night balling my eyes out over this selfishness. I feel like I'm been bullied by my best friend and I've only just moved in. She also said to me last night - "are your parents planning on calling in to see the apartment at some stage?" and I said "yea of course" and she turned around and said to me that they're not allowed, she said "this is my apartment to and tbh i can't stand your mom".

The girl is a b*tch! I'm really upset over this... Any advice?

Her mom needs to discipline her. Thats the problem herem she's had everything handed to her over the years, has never had to earn or work for anything, she's completely selfish and self centred. Not one of my friends like her.

it is time to move on. you work and she will be partying and everything will be handed to her for the next few years.
you already lead very different lives

steddyeddy

Fuinseog wrote: »

it is time to move on. you work and she will be partying and everything will be handed to her for the next few years.
you already lead very different lives

well not if shes reported for welfare fraud

Big Bag of Chips

I thought that might be the response you'd get from them! OP, learn your lesson - you will NEVER "win" with people like these, they will always have the last say.

Walk away. Don't respond to anymore from either of them. Hand the keys to the gardaí, or to another family memeber/friend to go and deliver them.

Also agree with the point that the poster is only 19. While we may all have "legally" been adults at 19 - very few of us were "worldly-wise" adults at 19! Give her a few years (10 - 15!) and then start having a go at her if she's still doing silly things!

kerash

OP_so_upset wrote: »

This is the latest.

Her mum replied to my text.

"I want the keys and car fob today post them in my letter box by 6pm. Do not put them in the post as they are too valuable. I should never have trusted u. You haven't changed a bit. U have my property and i want it back today.

Send it back by registered post.

I wrote back -

"Should've disciplined your daughter in fairness "laura"

She has just responded with -

"None of your business any longer look at your own bad behaviour. I just want my property back and my daughter and u should never see each other again and i will make sure of this".

I'm not going to reply. I haven't done anything wrong at all, i never have in the past either so I don't know how she's manipulating this. This woman ("my friends" mom) has phoned me on several occasions telling me how she can't control "my friend" and just before moving in she sent me a text saying "i'm with you all the way" as she knew I was terrified of her daughter pulling something like this.

I phoned my mum there and she's really annoyed at how both "my friend" and her mom are behaving and she said that it's time to cut contact, move on and take up some activities to meet people. In realtion to the key and car park zapper she said we should leave them in her local garda station for her to pick up.

I don't know what to do or if this is a good move or not. Aside from all this -

1) the mom's brother makes fake money and sends it over from england and her daughter uses it all the time! I can only assume the mother does too as her daughter told me she's involved in it.

2) her mum is renting a four bed house yet has 8 students living there (she's sub letting it like she did with me with the apartment). The living room is converted into a bedroom as is the dining room downstairs.

3) her daughter works for a different uncle and gets paid by him yet she claims the dole.

4) her and her daughters name is ont he lease for this apartment yet me and her lived there oblivious tot he apartment owner. Sure the day we moved in i was told not to arrive til the evening in case the owner was around

They're a really dodgy family and having been seriously hurt once by them i don't want them to do it to me again! I've already been forced out of my own apartment and i'm really dreading this evening because I was so looking forward to having a friend or 2 over this weekend to celebrate the moving in, now I'm going to be sitting at home tonight crying more than likely while she throws a big party in what used to be "my apartment".

I know i'm only 19 and i have a lot ahead of me but i'm in this situation at present and tbh i don't think it's going to blow over that easily considering the mom and uncle both have my mobile number and know where i live.

[/QUOTE]
Dont bother replying anymore. Change your number if you are getting more texts from them, keep a written record of everything that has happened so far. You're doing the right thing, best of luck with finding a new place and enjoy it

CDfm

It is all over bar the shouting.

If i were you I would get a local courier or taxi to deliver them and get it out of your hair.No sending texts or anything just leave it alone.What they do themselves is their own business.

Nothing will come out of it and its all over now.

She's lucky your not my friend cause if that happened to someone i knew, boy or girl id tell them were to go and stick it.

F**king wa*kers.

kjl

OP, its over now!

no more dramatic text messages to this girls mum, OK

Agree with your mother, leave it into a Garda station and inform this woman of which station.

I reckon laura was just bs'ing about the fake money thing, she sounds like a drama quessn

LegacyUser

As I said earlier I sent the mom a text saying "the keys will be in [x] garda station tonight at 6 for you to collect".

She then phoned me and hurled abuse down the phone saying "u have no f*cking option the keys are to dropped into my letter box give me back my f*cking property give me back my f*cking property" then she hung up, i didn't get one word in so I re-sent the text saying they'd be in the station at 6.

After numerous calls from both her and her daughter throughout the day my own mum decided to phone the garda station to inform them of the situation and to ask would it be possible to leave the keys with them and they said yes. They asked for the mother's number to phone her to let her know that the keys would be there then they phoned me back to say that she wanted them to be there at 9 (we said it's be 10). All was OK,, until the guard asked me if i had all my belongings out of the apt and I realised i had forgotten a brand new pair of heels. So i told him that and he suggested we do an exchange - my heels for the keys. This was said to the mother and she said no. So obviously we said the deal could not go ahead then.

At half 9 i received a phone call from "my friend" to say she was in the station with the shoes and that they had refused to take them - absolute BS. So I said well if you come ot my house you can hand me the shoes in person and i'll give you the keys. She refused to do this.

Since, I've received several texts off her and the mother -

to quote a few -

her mum - "where is my property u had until 10 to hand in thekeys. I'm now ringing the police staion"

her daughter - "**** off u little spa. guards are on their way to yours now so its too late for you.."

her mum - " ur in trouble now. the guard is not happy and they already seem to know you. You have been ur past very well. ha ha"

her daughter - "ur nothin but a jealous manipulative little girl with some major mental health issues. you should go on anti-depressants. not cuz ur normal......ur actually a joke"

her daughter - "just wait and see what i'm going to do to you .."

Her daughter then phoned at 2am to say that she's just made a formal complaint about me to the guards.

This is seriously messed up - I never ONCE refused not to give them back the keys. I said it would be there in the evening and as a result of them refusing to drop off my belongings in exchange for the keys they've both gone AWOL. Surely they don't have anything against me?? I've done nothing wrong whatsoever and i dont deserve these threats. Not alone am I distraught over all of this but my family have been stressing all night for fear of what both her and her mom would be capable of doing (smashing the cars/windows/etc)

I don't know where to go from here I just want them both to stop texting me - I haven't even been replying yet the incoming texts are one after the other!

MitchKoobski

OP at this stage just forget about the heels. Hand in the keys to the garda station and if possible speak to the same garda as before. Let him know the situation and just give him the keys and be done with these people.

dolphin city

you seem to love trouble.

just forget the heels and give up the key and walk away.

this is what you do if you want rid.

otherwise stop with the "he said, she said" - you got your advice - take it.

you seem to WANT to be in this position

WALK AWAY or deal with it yourself. and stop looking for advice that you refuse to take

its getting boring now.

seamus

Forget the heels, keys into the Garda station this morning and walk away, job done, it's all over.

CDfm

OP - it is getting into silly season here.

Texts and calls are stupid so do not react. You go to the guards and apologise for your part in it and hand the keys in and whatever advice they give you take.

The guards are busy enough but it is an offence to send malacious texts.

You knew they were nasty when you moved in so forget the heels and hand in the keys and leave it at that.

tenchi-fan

Op. The guard was trying to be smart and it sounded like a good idea.
You should realise it's not. Just give the key back and move on.

Please don't come back on here and say you got into another slagging match by text message! I'd actually recommend you pop into tesco and by a mobile for €20 and use it for the next week until this mess dies down.

steddyeddy

tenchi-fan wrote: »

Op. The guard was trying to be smart and it sounded like a good idea.
You should realise it's not. Just give the key back and move on.

Please don't come back on here and say you got into another slagging match by text message! I'd actually recommend you pop into tesco and by a mobile for €20 and use it for the next week until this mess dies down.

+1

op best of luck but dont worry we all had friends we thought were different sure you knew they were dodgy but you didnt know they would turn on you like that.

I had a friend like that same as this laura creature, spoiled rotten his whole life and like laura he expected everything to be handed to him the way mammy and daddy did. He is 28 years of age and still throws tantrums when he doesnt get what he wants.

I havent seen in ages and havent looked back, do yourself a favour dont go near or text this one again she seems mental.

Lone Stone

Ahh see how long they keep txting you abuse when she cant pay the rent
Move on change you number if you have to just think of made it will make them.

You should probably inform the landlord or the letting agency about the situation so she will get a bad references if she trys to rent another place with someone.