[COMPETITION] Win a 7 night holiday in Majorca

Darragh · 16-08-2010 1:00pm #1

Hi folks

We have a great competition for you thanks to the lovely folks at alpharooms.com

You could win a 7 night holiday in the Pionero Hotel in Santa Ponsa, Majorca.

The Pionero and Santa Ponsa Park Complex are situated in Santa Ponsa just 300 metres away from the beach and the nearest shopping centre.

Guests may enjoy the excellent facilities at both hotels including three adult swimming pools, two children’s pools and sauna.

The hotels entertainment team also supply a daytime and evening entertainments programme, suitable for all ages.

Guestrooms at the Pionero and Santa Ponsa Park Complex are comfortably decorated and come with all modern amenities that guests may need during their stay.

alpharooms.com is a leading website for discount worldwide travel. It offers some of the best deals available on the internet for discount hotels, flights and travel extras.

Currently celebrating 11 years of successful trading, the company continues to grow, with a portfolio of over 70,000 hotels and apartments worldwide.

alpharooms.com has a dedicated Irish site with flights from across Ireland, and prices in Euro.

So if you’re after a week in the sun, a short break in the country, or a weekend in a new city you will find the best value price online with alpharooms.com.

To be in with a chance of winning, just share your funniest holiday moment below. Whether at home or abroad we want something that will make us laugh at what happened. The story must be your own!

Go on - give us a laugh. Creative responses appreciated

Terms and conditions:

The Boards.ie prize is a pair of return flights in economy class from Dublin to Palma (Majorca), accommodation for 2 people sharing a room, for 7 nights on half board basis, staying at the Hotel Pionero (part of the Pionero and Santa Ponsa Park Complex), and also return transfers between the destination airport and the hotel in a shared shuttlebus
The holiday must be taken between 15th September 2010 and 31st October 2010
The competition is open to all Boards.ie members. The entries will be judged independently and no correspondence will be entered in to.
Persons entering the competition will be deemed to have accepted these terms and conditions. Only one entry per person will be permitted
This competition runs from 16 August until midnight on August 25th 2010 (the “Closing Date”)
The prize is non-refundable and non-transferable. No cash alternative will be offered.
No extras at any point in the holiday are included in the prize. All extras including travel insurance and other meals must be paid for by prize-winner. Winners are recommended not to travel without travel insurance.
All travellers must be over the age of 18 years at the time of entry
Entries must be strictly in accordance with these terms and conditions. Any entry not in strict accordance with these terms and conditions will be deemed to be invalid and no prizes will be awarded in respect of any such entry. Entries from agents/third parties are invalid.
Competition is not open to alpharooms.com staff or family members

Pudding11 · 16-08-2010 1:53pm

I dont think anyones holiday moment will be as funny to someone else as it was to them but here goes!
I was on a trip to Sorrento, Italy about 10 years ago. I was 16 at the time and went there with my sister, her husband and her friend. From the start it was a disaster. Our holiday was on top of a mountain, it was a family run hotel that locked the doors at 9pm and the weather was not good (to be fair it was the start of November!). The funniest moment happened our second week there. The weather had improved a bit and we went into the main town in an attempt to find our way to the beach. We followed signs for the beach and ended up walking through a long tunnel - an underground road with a footpath. As we walked in one end, the sun was shining, by the time we got to the other end, the heavens had opened :-) There was a full blown storm happening with plenty of thunder and lightning. We stood inside the tunnel waiting to see if it would stop as we had no rain gear with us at all. Suddenly we realised the road in the tunnel was becoming a river, the road was slanted down towards us and a great wave of water was heading our direction! We ended up being stuck in there for nearly an hour but luckily had a video camera to record our adventure and had a great time laughing at it later that night. Only problem was the hotel owner told us to keep the noise down. who knew you couldnt laugh in your room at 8pm in the evening :-D

Misticles · 16-08-2010 1:58pm

I was on holidays 2 years ago in Gran Canaria with my boyfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend.
We all went to the water park as we all love things like that.
Myself and my friends boyfriend decided to go on this ride dubbed the toilet bowl - actually called the Tornado. http://www.aqualand.es/grancanaria/atracciones.php

We sat in the figure 8 ring, I was in the back and Doug in the front, we were sent down the slide. Now what's supposed to happen is: you circle around the big bowl and drop down a hole to a mini slide.

What actually happened is: we were sent down the slide, we circled and ended up wedged at the side, so the two of us were trying to use our feet to get off- to no avail.
Then we noticed another pair circling the bowl, they went down no problem, we were still stuck

There were signs clearly stating do not get out of the ring, so we were doing our best not to, next thing *duusssh* someone circling hit us and knocked us off where we were stuck, grand we though, got half way around and got wedged right at the side of the drop, the same people who had knocked us off were now stuck too behind us. The way it was looking was that if they pushed us- I was going down back first down this steep slide, and I was having none of it. My back was already sore from other slides.

We were now stuck in here for what seemed like an hour but was about 10 minutes and had seen people come and go

The people behind is were pushing, the pushed us closer to the hole, then one of them had to get out of their ring to hold our ring while myself and Doug changed places. All the while another ring was stuck behind them.
We eventually went down the slide and got a massive round of applause of people waiting for the rings

My friend later told me that it was all recorded by a man in the viewing area where she was. I am yet to find the video

Hmm it dosn't sound as funny when it's written but was hilarious when it was happening

Pic attached

I'm the one sitting in the bowl and Doug is helping me into the ring again.

Ah fun times

cson · 16-08-2010 2:03pm

Looking back on it, it's funny now but sorta wasn't at the time;

End of J1 Summer blowout and Vegas was the destination. Decided we'd hire a car out there and drive out to the Grand Canyon. No bother we say; sure we'll just key it into the GPS. Mother of Jaysus. The ****ing nearly killed us. Death escape number one came when after driving along this road for ages we drive into an Indian reservation, Not one of them spoke English. They got into the car and everything; absolutely crazy stuff fecking miles from civilisation. Managed to escape them nearly knocking down 10 Indians in the process.

The worst is over we thought. Not for a bleeding second was it. Keyed in Grand Canyon again into Betsy and off we went. Then the road stopped. Faced with the decision of turning back and admitting defeat or else continuing on the dirt track in our rented Hyundai you know which option we took. Drove for about 1 hr through what I can only describe as the most barren deserted desolate place I've ever been. The lads were goosed in the back and here was I the only one concerned that [a] We had half a tank of petrol left We were an hour from civilisation if the car broke down/crashed/exploded and [c] It was 40 degrees celsius outside. All the those factors meant that had anything happened we probably would have died and been ripped asunder by coyotes.

But.... we made it eventually and man was it worth it. Spectactular.

Nidot · 16-08-2010 2:17pm

So funniest moment that's ever happened to me when I was on Holidays was when I was a child going on a family holiday.

It was the first time my brother had been on a plane, he was 5 years old at the time, and for this my parents had told him there was nothing to worry about.

So we get to the airport and my father tries to describe to myself and my brother how a plane flies through the air. So as you can guess this is easier said than done for a 5 year old. My brother doesn't really understand atall but being that age he understands that it needs to go forward to take off.

So anyway we eventually board the flight and take out seats. Myself, my brother and my mother all sitting in one aisle having a window seat and everything. So the plane takes off no problem and we fly away to the holiday.

Now as we come in to land the plane seems to reach a little bit of turbulence. The plane starts to shake around a small bit and my mother tells my brother not to worry everythings going to be ok and we'll be landing soon. But the plane continues to shake as we come down to land.

Suddenly though the plane stops shaking and it jumps in our seats. At this my brother screams out at the top of his voice:

'OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE'

My mother bursts out laughing and my brother starts crying like a mad thing.

Needless to say we did land safetly but ever since then it's a running joke in the family that my brother is scared of flying.

So please let me win the holiday, I'll bring the brother and have a good go at him again for his 'fear' of flying.

Thanks

Dublinstiofán · 16-08-2010 2:31pm

Gotta be gay pride day in San Francisco.

Just one of the many snaps. My mate is called Adam and i'm Steve priceless photo.

Our gnome Micheál was 'borrowed' from a garden in Dublin and travelled with us for 3 months. *

Be a nice break got no holidays this year, workin too hard.

*
he never made it home in the end

but we replaced him with another larger one under cover of darkness when we got home.
I can only imagine the look on the owners face when she saw the new one.

SexyD4Lady · 16-08-2010 2:40pm

When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I went on a two week holiday with my parents and younger sister to Puerto del Carmen in Lanzarote. It was late May, so without any other teenagers around as they were still in school, I had to make my own fun. In the hotel in the evening time there was entertainment provided by the resident "Animacion" group- about five young European guys and girls. I fell for one of the guys, a sallow skinned Lothario from Holland, and was convinced he'd have something to do with an awkward teenager! Of course he hadn't even noticed me, but I had watched him every evening and pined for him, and gazed at him acting as lifeguard beside the hotel pool everyday.

By the second week of the holiday, my Dutch Lothario had still not noticed me, despite my efforts to wink and jump into the swimming pool in what I thought was an attractive manner (pencil dive accompanied by girlish scream). So around day eleven, I developed a plan. I strolled along the edge of the pool in my shorts and t-shirt, and dramatically threw myself in whilst holding my breath to ensure I could stay below the surface for as long as possible. When I surfaced, I flailed about screaming "HELP! HELP!" and gasping theatrically. My Dutch Lothario flew into action, diving into the pool and pulling me out, where I lay on the tiles thinking all my birthdays and Christmases had come together. From what followed, I reckon my Lothario had never saved a "drowning" person before, or my feigned unconsiousness was so convincing that he felt he needed to slap me very hard across the face. I bolted upright, screaming with shock and pain, of course with all the bystanders and my handsome lifeguard realising I had been acting all along. The lifeguard was furious, and was shouting at me telling me how dangerous it was to pretend to drown and that I was a silly little girl, what was I trying to do? To make matters worse, when I thought my poolside-cred could go now lower, my father grabbed me by the arm, roared at me in the face and marched me back to the apartment where I was not allowed to leave for the remainder of the holiday, except to deliver a handwritten apology to the traumatised lifeguard. Sick!

Reganio 2 · 16-08-2010 2:48pm

Has to be when I went to Turkey I would have been about 10 or so, crazy excited, first holiday out of Ireland and straight into sweltering heat, we were nervous as the van to the hotel was a bit dodgy and narrow roads up high mountains but we got there in one piece ecstatic as I was went up unpacked our stuff and said we would go down for a swim, I sprinted down we got a sun chair and I hopped into the pool, of course not looking where I was jumping jumped right into the deep end and unable to swim, of course I panicked arms all over the place and screaming, my dad (reluctantly) jumps in, in his fancy shirt and sun glasses, and I had to be dragged out of the pool. Good times

miju · 16-08-2010 2:54pm

On holiday in Lanzarote in Rancho Texas end we all had a ball drunk as skunks trying badly to line dance.

One of the lads starts getting into the stride of things and thinks he has this whole line dancing malarky down so starts trying to show boat. Crowd notice this and start cheering him on.

SO he gets cocky and his drunked feet are a little too fast for the rest of his body to catch up so he does a massive stumble across the dance floor for about 30 feet clips a chair and goes arse over tits and ends up face first in a cactus plast.

Cue a visit to the hospital at 2am in the morning while he got 28 spikes taken out of his face and hands.

He's not tried line dancing since ........... such a shame

Dacelonid · 16-08-2010 2:55pm

Wasn't funny for me, but was seemingly hilarious for anybody watching.

Went swimming with whale sharks in Shark bay Western Australia and after we found one (spotter planes looking for them feeding at the surface) we went over to it. I was the last person to jump in and ended up in front of this feeding Whale Shark. Trust me when I say, they have big bloody mouths. I knew I was in little danger, but I still freaked out a bit, and shouted, screamed, flailed my arms, tried to swim, breathe, not drown and not get eaten all at the same time. The Whale Shark calmly dove down to quieter depths while everyone had a good laugh at my expense, until we couldn't find another whale shark and had to call off that portion of the cruise. Needless to say they weren't best pleased with me.

Then we went to the reef (Ningaloo reef I think it was called) and swam with reef sharks. While we were snorkeling looking at these sharks feeding (there were about 1-1.5m, so small, but they were sharks and bloody scary looking) a few of them came up to have a look at us. One in particular came at me. I lost it again and swam as fast as I could back to the boat. In my mind I was being chased all the way by a shark bigger than Jaws, but I guess the reality is that after I made a racket the shark would have swam away. When I got back I was so knackered from having swam so fast and in such a paniced state, that I couldn’t get back into the boat so they had to lower a ladder for me. Again cue a lot of laughing at my expense.

Still have nightmares about the whale shark. All I keep seeing is that wide open mouth coming to swallow me, so it wasn't funny for me, but everyone else laughed so that's all that matters.

Doyler92 · 16-08-2010 3:02pm

Many funny things happened to us on holidays.

The one that sticks out in my mind was in Majorca. We met up with these 2 other lads and we were all 15 at the time. One of the other lads called Trevor was mad. He was dying to do karaoke and at this time it was 3 minutes to 11 and we had to be back to the hotel for 11. He persuaded us to go and do it in a karaoke bar and we sang the Irish Rover. Eventually we made it back for 11.

A funny night worth remembering.

helimachoptor · 16-08-2010 3:06pm

Went to a visit a friend in Aachen, Germany last year. Flew to Charleroi with the girlfriend and rented a little Opel Corsa. It was my first time driving on "the wrong side" but felt I got hold of it pretty quick.

Picked my friend up from his office and we went for dinner, again commenting on how i felt like a duck taking to water for the first time with this crazy driving the continentals do! Saturday I drove to Frankfurt on the Autobahn and again no problems, my confidence was sky high, until Sunday.. myself, my friend and my girlfriend went to a breakfast buffet in a hill top restaurant above Aachen. So being in almost home mode I drifted back to the left side of the road when I was descending, chatting to the 2 other passengers no one noticed and as i went round the next bend met a car coming up the hell and ended up driving off the hill and flipping the car a couple of times, thankfully we were all wearing seatbelts and more thankfully I took out the additional insurance provided by the rental
company!!

roroduff · 16-08-2010 3:28pm

My mam, mam's friend and I decided to spend a night in mams friends summer house in Wexford. We had a lovely lunch in Gorey and decided to go to Ballymoney beach after because it was such a nice day. My mam and I love to go for a paddle to cool down but I only rolled my jeans up to my knee and mam had a skirt on so we couldnt go too deep.

In we went along the edge of the water but my mams friend wouldnt get in at all so after a while of trying mam just decided to try splash her but what ever why she kicked the water her skirt was tighter than she thought so she fell in but as she was falling she grabbed me with her, so there we were both soaked, phones ruined but my mams friend thought it was so funny. I wasnt impressed at the time but I suppose it was harmless and I needed a new phone

poppums · 16-08-2010 3:55pm

My Boyfriend will kill me for revelaing the secret I promised Him that I would take to my grave..!!

Four years ago I booked a holiday with my BF & My brother
We were a little short on cash so we decided to book a 2 bedroom apt rather than 1 apt each to try save some €€€'s

On our first night the 3 of us went out for some beers which turned into MANY, MANY more beers & the 3 of us fell back to the apt.

I woke up with the most awful hangover the next morning and I was totally confused when I turned around to find that my BF was not beside me in bed.

I started to panic thinking we had lost him in a drunken haze the night before but it was then to both my relief & horror that I found my BF fast asleep in bed beside my BROTHER..!!

My poor BF had gotten up out of bed in the middle of the night to use the bathroom & went back to what he thought was our bed but instead ended up wrapped around my brother for the night thinking it was me..!!

To this day I am still gutted that I did not take a picture of the two of them Spooning in bed.

Needless to say there was alot less San Miguels drank by both of them for the remainder of the holiday

seany76 · 16-08-2010 3:56pm

a few years ago now i went to dubai with my dad - while we stayed in a nice hotel we couldnt afford the 7 star hotel.
we discovered though that you can go for afternoon tea there - we sent our fax to confirm our reservation and set off in our best suits on the bus - ( you getting a theme here :P)
arrived at the hotel and driven by golf cart to the main door where what seemed like thousands of bell boys waited to help in anyway.

took the escalator up to the main reception passing the aquarium along the way - with a man inside cleaning the tank who waved at us - not many people noticed

took a lift then to the top floor - amazing views!

a nice waitress came over and showed us the menu - the selection was enormous - out of the thousands of teas available i chose the only one they didnt have !!!!

Nellsbells · 16-08-2010 4:20pm

I was in Orlando 2 years ago with my boyfriend, and we decided to go to the water park for the craic! We went on all the slides and had great fun.......until I attempted to do the water skiiing........
I was all set to go, life jacket on and had my board ready. I saw all these 10 and 12 year olds gliding across the water on their boards and reckoned it wud be simple!!!(I was 23)
My turn came around, I jumped onto the board, grabbed onto the rope and was delighted with myself, with the crowds looking on.
Next minute, the board disappeared from under me, I was getting dragged along sideways along the top of the water with one hand clingin onto the rope , and trying to cling onto my shorts with my toes!!!! Pants were GONE!
The instructor was screamin at me to LET GO of the rope!!! but I was so determined to get across the water like the 12 year olds... instead I ended up nearly getting hit in the head by the next water skiier,
searching for my shorts in the water and doing a walk of shame down the pier in front of loads of proud parents with their camcorders! I just hope its not on youtube!
Reminder to girls.....
NEVER , EVER WEAR TWO PIECE SWIMMING TOGS WHEN DOING WATER SPORTS HA HA :eek::eek::eek:
Picture attached of where the embarrassment happened!

alan85 · 16-08-2010 4:22pm

They say learning a language is a good thing and it is... But cultural and lingo differences can make for interesting interactions! I was out one night, got drunk and asked some Spanish people to teach me some bad language.

So, I was taught you use "me cago en la puta virgen" when your team misses a goal or you drop a plate. I asked more about this. It literally means "I do a no. 2 on the Blessed Virgin". I was fascinated by this 'cause I thought Spain was very much into it's Catholicism. I'm easily amused by the way.

Anyways, later we were walking to their car as I was hitching a lift off them back to where I was staying. On the way to the car I find a traffic cone. And what does one do when drunk and with a cone? Well, I started using it as a megaphone!

So, started off with 'HOLA, QUE TAL?!' - 'Hello, how are ya?!' and sort of waving at some car park attendants.

It later progressed into 'Joder, me cago en la puta virgen!' which is what you would say when watching your losing team miss a goal. Only after saying this I looked up........ and who was there looking disgusted at me?

Only a priest in full garb!

The spanish lads didn't let it down. They couldn't stop laughing and to this day we keep in touch.

Spain... Great country!

jellie · 16-08-2010 4:42pm

Funnily enough this happened in santa ponsa.. first holiday away with the girls, been out a few nights and we're all wrecked and wanted to take it easy, except 1 girl. she got in a bad mood with us all for being boring and stormed off.. only to be egged by some guys on her way down the road :pac: poor girl had to come back to us covered in egg :pac: she quite literally had egg on her face

nellocono · 16-08-2010 4:59pm

My story is one from a couple years back when myself and two friends headed off to Greece for the summer. We spent 8 weeks Island hopping on the various Islands. At the end of this we headed to Crete to meet up with some friends who were on a standard holiday on the island. With very little money remaining we got a ferry to the Island and began our search for a hotel room. We needed it to be cheap!

Anyway, we were advised to try a hotel in Piskopiano which we were told should have free rooms at a decent price. So we went in and the nice lady who owned the building said " yes, yes...come come I give you nice room"... As she lead us to the room the first thing we noticed was the pool, which had no water in it, just cockroaches... As the owner opened our room door, she said " I need some help"..Inside, was furniture stacked up to the ceiling and a dirty floor, unmade beds. It looked horrible but we had no choice as it was all we could afford...

Anyway one of the lads, said he was bursting to use the toilet as his stomach was not too good...So off he goes into the bathroom and locks the door behind him...meanwhile myself and the buddy are sitting around laughing at the horrible conditions of the room. Some girls pass by our door and we catch their attention, so as their Irish they come up to talk to us...We invite them in and they are sitting in our room having a bit of craic...

Next thing my buddy rushes out of the toilet with a panic look on his face and says I lost my phone. We all look at him, and he was kind of surprised to see girls in the room with us. I says what. He runs back into the toilet and comes out again and says my phones gone. Where? I flushed it. What? He runs back in. Out he comes again. I'm like what? He sits with his face in his hands, at this stage we all have have tears streaming down our face. What? I ask. He says...I was sitting on the toilet (get the picture

) and I stood up when done and the phone fell in. I said "well why didn't you grab it?". It was in slow motion and he hesitated

to reach in and as he watched it go round and round, then down. He says it made a great sucking noise. Well we all burst out laughing. What a nice way to meet some new friends. Needless to say, all the girls continued to mock him about it for the rest of the holiday....:D

unklerosco · 16-08-2010 4:59pm

Watching the missus Zipline across a pool in Spain.. Only to see her fall off it as soon as she stepped off the ledge, the crash from her hitting the pool had everyone up off their sun loungers and even made the little kid beside me start crying... She had to swim all the way out with the whole pool watching her (about 500+ people) Her back was red raw from where she hit the pool... her front was just red from embarrassment.. Needless to say, being the evil swine I am, I laughed for the rest of the holiday!! It was about 5 years ago, I think she's still mentally scarred from it... It was also the last time we where on a summer holiday.. It'd be insanely wicked if I managed to win this and surprise her with some sunshine!!!

RedXIV · 16-08-2010 5:31pm

When i went to France about 10 years ago with my family, we were in a small town along the west coast.

My parents were determined to make sure we saw as much of the native area as possible and as such we were dragged everywhere withing a 30 mile radius that would leave a cultural "impact" on us.

So on one of these many excursions my brother happened to spot an large empty playground hidden within the town we were in. After spending the day looking at Streets and French words on ordinary supermarket items, this was blessed relief for us.

The playground itself looked a little aged but had quite a large selection of things to play with. Of these, my sister found what can best be described as a spider on a 45 degree angle with little cages at the ends of the legs. My sister climbed in one on the ground while my dad stood between two of the ones in the air and, with the smile of a man who knows he's doing the best for his daughter, gives it an almighty push to get it turning for her. Unfortunately he forgot about the one behind him which subsequently left him with a letterbox in the back of his head!

Falling around the place laughing at this and watching my dad swear for the first time in years, I go looking for my brother to tell him what happened. He has climbed to the top of a slide about 15 metres tall. The slide has an odd structure of sliding 45 degrees for a while and then dipping down to about 80 degrees with about 7 or 8 dips, The attachement shows a crude MS paint job

My brother is roaring the family to watch as my mother and sister are fretting over my father but eventually and irately my mother shouts "we're watching!"

My brother proudly launches himself down the slide until he gets to the first dip. Instead of sliding down the dip, he has generated enough speed to fly straight off the slide and bounce off every dip until he lands at the bottom in a small head whimpering. My dad has completely forgetten at this stage he's still bleeding as everyone is falling over laughing at my brother who demanded we watch his performance

NOW we know why the playground was abandoned

Shelli2 · 16-08-2010 5:41pm

This one could double up as my most embarrassing moment, but as I’m in desperate need of some relaxation I’ll share my shame with you all.

About 15 years ago we all crammed into the family car for the yearly holiday in France, we usually hit 2 or 3 campsites over the space of a 2 week period. This time my parents had splashed out for a mobile home….luxury! 

One particularly hot day, as we all sat around complaining of the heat like typical Irish holiday makers, afraid to put one toe out in the son for fear of melting, I had a brainwave.
I opened the door of the freezer and stuck my head in….you can probably see where this is going. Feeling a sudden gush of refreshing icy air, I let out the obligatory “ahhhh” and doing so stuck my tongue out. Bam….stuck to the freezer shelf. From the other end of the mobile, my mother, only seeing the door of the freezer and me half in half out of it, was shouting “Close that door, the freezer will de-frost”…..and me replying with increasingly panicky “ugh ugh ugh”. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, she got up to see what was wrong….follow the scream of “OH JAYSUS!” , and a frantic mothers knee jerk reaction…yes she did…she put one hand on my forehead and another on my chin and pulled! OUCHIEEEEEE!! The tip of my tongue remained in the freezer, while we fell back into a pile on the floor, taking with us my brother and father who at this stage had come to investigate the commotion!

They all laughed, I cried, with a throbbing bleeding tongue…..adding insult to injury was my Dad, through tears of laughter, offered me a piece of ice to soothe my tongue!!

(Karma struck the next day though, as I couldn’t talk properly, when they asked my where the keys of the car were, they misheard me thinking I had them when in fact they were in the boot of the car….we drove to the ferry with a piece of plastic over a smashed window!! LOL)

instofhorror · 16-08-2010 5:43pm

Did the usual inebriated tour to the states with a mate while on summer break from college. Hit Vegas after a hard circuit, and as it was the last stop on our trip, we were pretty much broke, and travelling extremely light. Fairytale start to the night, won some money at blackjack, got locked on the free booze, went and drank some more, and in great form (!) at this stage, took a notion that I'd hit some of the clubs. At this stage I'd lost my mate, but knew there was no doubt he was in a similar state to myself. Anyway, decided on a suitable joint (cant remember names etc), but only had white runners on - no chance of getting into this place with those. Luckily, I had anticipated such a predicament, and had worn black socks. Now, in my enlightened state, I took my shoes and socks off, before replacing my shoes and putting the socks on over them.

Bearing in mind I was pissed and there were quite a few people observing me, I had a bit of an interested audience in those queueing behind me, particularly given my assurances that 'alwaysh worksh, wait til ya see...'. Going great guns, straightened myself up rightly, and was looking forward to strutting my stuff, until I reached the top of the queue: Keen to show the bouncer just how sober I was, I started some idle chit-chat. Upon hearing my accent however, he turned and stared at my feet, then beckoned me to the side and asked me (as loud as he could) what to **** I was doing with socks outside my shoes (The massive queue was absolutely killing itself at this stage). I shrugged and said '**** it, usually works', to which he replied, prob would have worked tonight as well but we caught your mate trying it ten min ago!'

Certainly did my bit to reinforce perceptions of the irish that night!!

Wolfe Tone · 16-08-2010 6:30pm

My funniest holiday story was when I was 11 years old. We were in Lanzarote and one evening we(my, the parentals and my older brother) decided to have a game of crazy golf. Being the competitive soul I am we agreed that whoever came last would have to jump into the pool fully clothed, as well as write a statement outlining that they were the inferior family member.
Anyway we get under way and we get through the first few holes grand, everyone in and around the same score. I step up to the 5th hole. It seemed simple, I just had to fire the ball up a ramp, over a gap, and down the other side. Anyway I hit the ball and it doesn't clear the gap, Instead of dropping 3 shots and trying again I was determined to save the shots and get the ball out myself. I smash it a few times and it keeps rolling around in the gap. The family gather around, pressure mounts. The brother notes even the slightest tap of the ball as a shot. Five frantic club swinging minutes later I rack up a score of 62 over par on a 3 shot hole. And a very red face. I finally got the ball in the hole.

Then on the last hole it happened again. I was despairing at this stage. It was a volcano, you had to hit it up the ramp and into the crater. The others did it in one shot. not me. It took 50. So humiliating. My family were not humble in victory. Anyway when we were giving the clubs back, the Spanish man innocently asked how we did. He found my score (over 200, my brother who won got a score of 57 I think) hilarious and insisted on taking a photo of me holding my score card to put on his wall of fame shame. He even called over all his assistants!

When we got back to the hotel my brother went into the bar and told everyone what had happened and invited them to watch me jump into the pool. A good 50 people gathered to watch me duly jump in amid gales of laughter. I was not a happy camper. Luckily they deemed I had suffered enough and did not make me write the letter! I still get slagged about it all this time later!

Although it was not funny for me at the time, I cannot think of it without laughing!

Owen · 16-08-2010 6:32pm

Coming to the end of a 2 week tour around Asia, myself and 4 mates ended up on the Kho Shan road in Bangkok. We were fairly pickled with alcohol after the previous 2 weeks, but decided as it was our last night before traveling home, we'd go out with a real session.

I woke up with a half a tooth missing, no skin on one knee, and my entire calf covered in a fresh tattoo with no recollection of what happened. Here's how it went down.

One of the guys had been here before, and recommended the Shamrock bar which was across from our Hotel. They served something called a Whiskey Bucket, which is a coal bucket, with lots of whiskey inside, coke, and the local equivalent of Red Bull. It's meant to be shared between a few people. So, at 12.45, we popped in and asked for a whiskey bucket. The little guy behind the counter asked "1 bucket 5 people?", and we said "No, 5 buckets 5 people". Then last call came quickly, and the lights flashed. We thought it would be like home, you finish your drink in your own time, but we were told to either drink up in one go, or leave it behind. So we did the sensible thing.

I don't really remember much of what happened as the night went on, but apparently I went missing. The boys found me at 3am stripping down the carburetor on a TucTuc for a taxi driver who couldn't get his bike to run, and watched me giving it a push start. It took off, I fell down, cracked my jaw on seat railing on the rear, and scuffed most of the skin off my knee. Then I went missing again.

The guys found me at 5 am inside a tiny Tattoo studio under the Shamrock Bar and took photos of me picking out what looks like a tribal fish Tattoo. It's the entire height of my calf, and nearly goes all the way around. The photos show the guy doing it, and the only thing I can say is that he's like the Thai version of Sloth from The Goonies, eyes more googly than your favourite search engine, and about 7 teeth. There's even video footage of the guys flicking the lights on and off really quickly while I'm getting it done in the hopes he'd make a mistake.

So bit of a mental night, and having to get a flight home 6 hours later with the mother of all hangovers, fresh Tattoos, mouth in agony over the broken molar, and my knee wrapped up in a bandage didn't really come close to explaining to the other half how it all happened, or convincing her to let me on holidays with the same guys in the future.

So c'mon alpharooms.com, let me make it up to Mrs PD by taking her on a nice holiday this year

summerhead · 16-08-2010 6:34pm

I stayed in Annagassan once. It wasn't funny.

dak · 16-08-2010 7:13pm

My wife and I got married on 30th December in Dublin ( quite a few years ago) and at the time we lived in England . We came home for X-mas , had the stag and hen etc, got married and then were flying Dublin to Birmingham and then onward to Lanzarote.

We had quite a lot of luggage (about 60kg ) from memory and while queing for security in Birmingham I ended up about 4 people behind my wife in the queue . My wife had a small bag of mine and next thing I knew was the a security guy wielding a beard and a turban was holding up an object he had taken from my bag and asking my wife questions about it. A few people around were tittering so I had to skip the queue and join my wife to explain . The quy was holding up and turning the box around and around to examine it ! My wife and I just exploded laughing as did a number of people beside us. The object in question was a joke bell bar shaped willie exerciser that a friend of mine gave me at the stag night and it had somehow got packed in my hand luggage..

When we explained what it was the now embarrassed security guy quickly sent us on our way. I don't think we ever had more fun going through airport security in our lives !

Penisland · 16-08-2010 7:17pm

I remember being very youngand being on a holiday in Santa Ponsa funnily enough, and I decided to pee in the pool

However there was a bridge overlooking the pool that went to a different part of the complex.....

Basically a girl on this bridge shouted ewhhhhhhhhh he’s peeing in the pool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! que a hundred people starring at me

Thought my mam could have died with embarrassment!!! hahahaha

ps. I no longer pee in pools

Miss Dymph · 16-08-2010 7:22pm

My family and I were on a family trip to Killarney many years ago when i was younger than 10 anyway and 'nature called' so dad pulled into the side of the road. My sister hopped a farmers gate and went in to conduct natures business and i followed to have a chat more than anything (odd i know but i was 10 and weird).. Well she dropped her trousers in the corner and i thought it would be so hilarious to push her over so she would wet her trousers

Well....push her over i did and in she went, ass cheeks first into an electric fence. A loud jolt to the bottom gave her a long long red welt the width of her ass and when she recovered, with trousers down she chased me across the field!! Its just as well the farmer didnt come along!

16-08-2010 7:23pm

3 years old or so, and me and my family are camping in France. Somehow, I manage to get my ass stuck in a bucket. My dad, instead of helping me out, goes off, gets the camera, and takes a picture of me, all while laughing at me!

Probably more funny to me and my family.

tanoone · 16-08-2010 7:30pm

HORRIFICALLY FUNNY

Camping at Glyfada outside Athens . Left bottom of tent slightly open for air when gone for night . Came back , zipped myself in with boyfriend ,only to realise we were not alone .There was a RAT in there too. Our neighbours thought we were being slaughtered on hearing the screams and it seemed to take aneternity to get out . I'm still traumatised when I remember it or see a campsite .
I'd say this story could win beacuse my friends and family found it hilarious for some reason !

StompToWork · 16-08-2010 8:56pm

Coming home from holidays, on the Ryanair flight just taxi-ing to the runway from Barcelona (well, Reus), the captain came on the intercom to say "Cabin crew, take your seats for departure". The guy sitting next to me turned to me in a horrible hungover stupor and asked me "Did he just say we ran over a Badger??"

Anyone who heard burst into laughter.

Guess you had to be there!!

pwd · 16-08-2010 8:58pm

I managed to really really really mess up the fairly simple task of getting a train from Schiphol Airport to Central Station in Amsterdam.
I got the tickets from a machine, paying with my credit card, and politely declined a man offering to help me work it. It produced two little slips of paper, with the details in Dutch on them.
On the train, an inspector came around. We gave him our tickets, and he laughed and explained that they weren't actually tickets at all, but notes saying that we hadn't paid; the transaction had failed I think.
That was ok though, just kinda funny, and the inspector was nice about it. So we carried on. We came to Leiden Centraal, and I just sort of decided that Leiden was Dutch for station, for some reason, and that we had arrived at Central Station in Amsterdam. "Here we are," I said, "Come on," and we got out.
My friend remarked that it seemed strangely quiet, looked different than when he'd been there before, and was I sure I knew where we were going. "Yeah yeah, of course," I reassured him, fully undaunted by my previous mistake with the tickets.
Eventually, unable to find any landmark or street name, I agreed to ask for directions. The first person we asked on the street looked completely bewildered by our queries, so we decided to talk to someone in a shop. The lady there looked a bit confused too. She told us we wouldn't be able to walk there. I said, "Yes we can, it's in the middle of Amsterdam." She said "Yes I know - Amsterdam is 50 miles away."
I said -oh right.

Laura1981 · 16-08-2010 9:27pm

We went to spain last year while we were there we took a trip to Barcelona Zoo, my husband and my oldest son were walking ahead of me and my 5 year old.

I saw some weird animals that I'd never seen before and said to my 5 year old "God they're crazy looking aren't they" he looked at me dead serious and said "Mam they're old ladies that's what you'll look like when you're 500".

I was talking about the animals he was talking about the crazy looking ladies beside us LOL, then he told me to sshhhh because talking about people was rude:):D

I could only just about keep a straight face LOL>

lel44 · 16-08-2010 9:30pm

i'll never forget this holiday, i'm 39 now an this was when i was about 6 or 7. We didnt have suitcases so we each got a black plastic bag and each of the 4 of us kids had to put the clothes that my mam had laid out for us into our bag an bring it down for my dad to load onto the roof rack of our little old gold fiesta ( no big 7 seater with luxury suit case).... We all put our bags on the sofa an then went to squeeze ourselvs into the car. When we got to Costa Del Wexford an time to unload there was no bag for my brother, who had apparently thrown it so far into the sitting room it went over the sofa... So here we were with no clothes for him (nowadays u'd prob run to a shop an pick up some gear on the cheap)... i was the nearest in age to my brother so i ended up havin to share all my clothes (the not too girlie bits).. I can still remember his face when we found his bag of neatly packed clothes at home on the floor behind the sofa ha ha so funny, i'm even laughin now remembering it again. I've 4 kids of my own now an i tell them that story every time we are packing to go to Wexford to make sure they hand their bags personally to dad LOL... their the stories that'll get handed down from gen to gen :0):D

tommy21 · 16-08-2010 9:34pm

I met the woman of my dreams (still my current woman:) ) just over 3 years ago. We'd only been going out about four months when I decided to take her on a surprise trip in an attempt to truly sweep her off her feet. This was the first proper holiday I'd ever organised myself period, never mind an excursion to impress, and so I guess a touch of alpha (;)) male came over me. I pulled out all the stops by picking one of the most romantic cities in the world - Venice. As anyone who has ever been knows, it is not a cheap city, to stay in or get to. Nonetheless I was determined to make my mark.

The first hitch arose when Aer Lingus began to threaten strike action a few weeks before our departure, as seems to be their pattern whenever I attempt to leave the country. Having spent a few hundred on the flights, a fortune on accommodation (about €800 for 4 nights!), and a bucket of sweat on not inadvertently giving the game away in the previous weeks, I panicked. This resulted in me spending another hundred and fifty on Ryan Air flights to a feeder airport about an hour outside Venice proper to insure against the potential strike (which never materialised).

My girlfriend was in Germany at the time, having gone over to help her sister who had injured her back. The second hitch arose when I was all a fluster on the phone about the strike and blurted out our destination :eek: Still all was not lost as she was delighted!

With the threat of a strike averted, we were able to fly in relative luxury (economy ahem) and touched down in the floating city, the plane a little lighter as a result of my battered wallet. As we wound our way through the narrow cobbled streets in semi-darkness, the gurgling canals added to the magic. However it would take more than conjuring to banish the third hitch.

After an increasingly anxious search of an hour, we eventually found our lodgings hidden away in a side-street, like so many parts of the city. It looked quaint on the outside, but like the photos on the website, promising in that the reception was lavishly furnished, if a little dated. Now as I mentioned earlier accommodation can be hard to find in Venice, particularly at short notice, so as soon as I had found something online I snapped it up. However I neglected to notice that this hotel specialised in themed rooms. This being the city of love, I experienced a sinking feeling as I signed the bill (in what felt like gold ink given the cost) as I noticed “Casanova Suite” printed at the bottom.

We were shown to our room and entered. Silence reigned for an eternity and then I heard a titter, followed by the hysterical laughter of my girlfriend. Perhaps the pictures below will demonstrate why:

Not so much four-poster as four shades of gray

The room was like something out of Aladin’s cave gone wrong – gaudy erotic red curtains in an ancient room, candlestick chandelier with a faux gold intricate headrest on the bed. I can laugh now, but at the time only knowing each other four months, I felt a tad foolish and as if my intentions were blatantly less than pure

Either that or she might think there was a fourth hitch after a very short courtship! To top this off we felt as if we were being watched by “Emelene” the entire stay, which was the name we gave to the rather provocative woman hanging on the wall whose eyes seemed to follow us no matter where we went.

Emelene's watchful presence

Here is a picture of me attempting to recover my composure:

The destination was not a surprise, the room on the other hand ... Still after more than three years together I must have done something right!

Help me make Emelene a distant memory, and turn hysterical laughter into awestruck silence as we laze by the pool in sunny Majorca!

Yours sincerely
the man forever known as Casanova

baby and crumble · 16-08-2010 9:35pm

Myself and my friend went interrailing after the LC, I was only 17, he was the older, wiser one at 18!

We were pretty broke, going from London to Cologne in one day- pretty hectic, but we were arriving late so needed to book somewhere to sleep. I noticed a bit of a tickle in my throat, but nothing major. Rang a bunch of places from France, no joy til we got to the last one in our guidebook. They had a room, my friend spoke the German, so he translated the price and all that (this was before the Euro!). Bit pricey but we decided to go for it... They gave us directions from the train station, so we were all set.

Arrived in Cologne at about 11pm, following the directions... past the Cathedral, grand yeah... through the shopping street, no probs... over the bridge... should be round here somewhere... all of a sudden I start to see moving mannequins and men with trenchcoats... HOLY CRAP WE'RE IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT!! Ok, just keep walking, just keep walking... Ok, there's the hotel. PHEW!

Got in, made the usual chit chat (and by this stage my 'little tickle' in my throat had basically developed into flu thanks to hermetically sealed Belgian & German trains :rolleyes:) so I just wanted to get to bed. As the guy leads us to the room he casually asks "So, how was the wedding?"

Blank looks.
"Excuse me?"
"The wedding, how was it?"
"Emmm... what wedding? "
"Your wedding. You're booked into the honeymoon suite!"

Yeah, there went the budget! :P:P:P Turns out my friend had calculated the price with the Irish- France rate, and not the German one. Nice.

paultronix · 16-08-2010 9:44pm

I was in fuertaventura recently with my parents and daughter, we were on out way back to our hotel and my dad was a little worse for wear and was doing a few "speed wobbles" I thought "it's going to take ages to get back", we came across a lift which was in our complex so I said "lets take the lift, it's in our complex so surely it'll bring us to our floor" so we got in and pressed 2 (our floor) we got to the second floor and got out.. the lobby looked strangely empty but exactly like our lobby.. but it wasn't our lobby... we pressed the button to call the lift but nothing happened... we tried to open the door but it was locked... we were stuck in the closed down lobby of a hotel and the lift didn't work.. to make matters worse my mum was bursting for the toilet and there was no-where to go... we tried to get peoples attention throught the glass doors but people just waved.. 20 mins later my mum was dancing around dying to wee so she said I can't hold it any more and went to the corner for a wee (ugh) I used my eyeliner to write "help" on a piece of paper and held it to the window but noone came past... Dad was happy to stay there, my Daughter (11) thought it was great, We couldn't find the number for our hotel on our phones.. we were stranded.. 2 hours later we managed to get through to our hotel and they said they'd send the security guard to let us out.. then we finally got to our hotel all the staff were standing around the desk and all burst out laughing at us.. so embarresed, every time we past the desk for the rest of the holiday the staff smirked at us!

zuroph · 16-08-2010 10:44pm

Many years ago, My parents took me and my younger sister to Praia Da Rocha for a holiday. I was a little 6 year old terror, getting in fights with other kids by the pool, constantly running away and covered in scratches and bruises from my various adventures. I'm sure my poor folks needed another holiday after this one to recover from minding me 24/7.

Anyway, towards the end of the week, my folks fancied a decent meal out. Since the Hotel babysitters wanted nothing to do with me (mutterings of some words that sounded suspiciously like "devil"), they had no option but to bring me. The preparation started 2 days in advance, with my dad making many threats and pleads to me to be on my best behaviour. I was bribed, with promises of a supersoaker, and decided that I was going to be on my absolute best behaviour. Part of the challenge though, was I was to be dressed in a sailor suit so my parents would have "a cute photo opportunity"

The restaurant chosen was "The Titanic". My parents kept me amused and interested by telling me all the stories of the titanic, and how the restaurant was based on the dining hall in the first class section of the ship. I was pretty impressed by the place and eager to explore, but the promise of the supersoaker hung over my head, and kept me on my absolute best behaviour. I said "please" and "thank you" and did my best not to interrupt when someone else was talking. I could see my parents were impressed. That supersoaker was as good as mine, and those kids at the pool were going to pay tomorrow.
After our starters, I politely asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. I went about my business without diversion, even though I really wanted to check this amazing place out more. As I went to wash my hands though, disaster struck. the head of the tap came away in my hand, and the water gushed to the ceiling. I panicked and did my best to try jam it back on, spraying water EVERYWHERE. It was hitting the ceiling and spraying everywhere in the bathroom, and puddles were quickly forming. Soaked, I did what any guilty 6 year old would do. I ran.

"DAD DAD, COME QUICK!!" ..Seeing how soaked I was, my mother started "What the HELL IS GOING..." but I'd already dragged Dad halfway across the restaurant towards the bathroom. I could see his veins in his head start to throb, and I knew already this was going to be bad. When he saw the bathroom, floor now completely submerged in a few inches of water, with water pouring out into the hall, He knew the same. He gave up on one very quick attempt at replacing the tap, returned to our table, gathered our stuff, and we paid at the door on the way out before they discovered the mess. Night ruined, mother distraught, sailor costume saturated. We passed the next evening, and the restaurant was closed for "emergency renovations".

To this day, at every family occasion I have endure the telling of "The night Michael Sunk the Titanic", usually accompanied with this photo, which was taken an hour before the crime. Butter wouldn't melt.

I never got my supersoaker..

LeahBaby · 16-08-2010 10:54pm

4 years ago, I went to paris with my boyfriend. It was our first romantic holiday together!

after a hour and a half flight in which i cried and puked the whole way with fear, we landed in charled de gualle to find the airline had lost our baggage

we got to our hotel with no spare clothes and so our holiday got ont a romantic start. We found the funny side of taking pictures of us in hoodies and jeans with disposable cameras!

The night before we were due to fly home, we arrived to our hotel to meet an excited hotel porter jumping on the spot 'ooohhhh irish, you bag came,your bag came,yesss you have clean panties, i leave on your bed for you !'

we run upstairs all excited to finally shower and get into clean clothes, we open the door to find... A tricycle and a guitar lying on our bed!
i have never laughed so hard in my entire life!ended up getting my bag back 2weeks later with everything missing and i had no travel insurance but its worth it for the laugh i had!

glanman · 16-08-2010 11:34pm

I was in Vegas in 2007 and me and 2 of my mates were on the way home from a night out and the spirits were high to say the least. It was about 5 o' clock in the morning and the sun was already coming up. While passing treasure island hotel and casino I had a brainwave, I bet one of the lads $50 to jump into the "sea" in front and get onto the pirate ship...

so low and behold he took the dare on. He striped down to his tighty whities, left his clothes with us on the board walk and jumped into the "sea" from about 15ft high... Looking back it was pretty brainless as we had no idea how deep it was but it was fine and he went swimming towards the pirate ship. (You can see it well enough on google maps satellite if you want to get an impression of the setting...)

My mate and I then decide that this was the perfect opportunity to tear off with his clothes under our arm and back to our hotel, over 1km away, Circus Circus. We stayed out of sight but kept an eye on him all the time, making sure he got out of the water, being good friends and all!! He didn't have a clue where we were and decide it was best to run for it home before he drew too much attention, especially the cops. To aid him in this, he decided the fastest way was to run across the main strip in his tighty whities, now fairly translucent, stopping 8 rows of traffic in his wake!

We arrived back in the hotel, after stopping off in Dennys for breakfast, and then back to our room. No sign of our friend. The other lads with us had also not seen him so we got a little worried. About half an hour later he finally arrived back, banging on our door.

In the ensuing time he had been approached by the hotel security looking for ID... He tapping his absent pockets and was like, "ah, I left them in my pants" and he then ran off. A chase ensued through a car park and he finally got home.

So that was a hilarious moment on our trip.

If I win this, I promise I will put up the video we made, about 90 seconds long, of him swimming and running away. It is an epic video and a must see but I will only post it if I win and if I don't post it, I will forfeit the prize!

geraldino · 17-08-2010 12:08am

We were on holiday in the Cinque Terra region of Italy and the Roughguide had particularly recommended a beautiful wild cove which intruigingly could only be accessed through a long tunnel where one pressed a bell to gain admittance. It did mention that some nudists liked to go there.

We decided to give it a go, proceeded through the long dark tunnel with increasing apprehension. On arrival at the end, we were met by a local demanding a hefty fee, but we haggled successfully and were admitted to the beach,climbing down a precarious ladder. We headed up the beach to the shade underneath a cliff. Himself then realised that he had urgent need of the sanitary facilities and headed off in haste. There I was all by myself, and gradually I noticed that I was completely surrounded by nude men, oiling, sunbathing and posing quite fetchingly on the rocks. One was right beside me, wisely sitting on a tiny slate and reading a newspaper. I averted my gaze and stared purposefully out to sea. After half an hour this became quite a strain. I was the odd one out being fully dressed.

The hubby arrived back traumatised- there were no facilities despite the hefty entrance fee and he too had suffered in the pursuit of decency!
But what a laugh!!!

irish_goat · 17-08-2010 4:52am

Having sampled a few beers in Dusseldorf I decided it would be a good idea to climb up onto a statue of Bismarck and get my brother and our friend to take photos. Literally just as I had my arm around the statue I heard a megaphone shouting something loud(and angry) in German and a police car pull up beside us.

2 cops (one male, one female) jump out and stand watching as I climb back down(which took a while) and started asking us questions. They figured out we were Irish and the male cop was laughing and said "You have had a little to much to drink ehh?", quick as flash I replied "not enough!" and the three of us and the male cop were all havin a laugh. I'm pretty sure the male cop was ready to let us go once he realised we weren't English but the female cop was having none of it though and demanded ID off of us. I only had my Garda age card on me and the male cop asked what it was so I said "It's police ID" and he nodded and looked very impressed with me. I'm pretty sure he thought I must be an Irish cop. To confuse matters more my brother only had his Cook Islands driving license on him so the female cop took them into the car(probably trying to figure out if my brother was some sort of very pasty looking illegal Cook island immigrant) and we stood around for about 10 mins until they came back out and told us to "go home". Not sure if they meant for us to go back to the hostel or get out of the country but either way it was a terrible case of good cop/bad cop as the male cop was sniggering away the whole time. :pac:

At the end of it all too I didn't even get a good photo!

emzibob · 17-08-2010 12:21pm

There have been may funny mishaps over the years from an array of drunken girlie holidays but one that always brings back the kind of tear streaming unable to speak laughter is from the last night of a girls holiday to Zakynthos. Where not only did i get accused of trying to kill my best friend Cher, I made a good attempt at causing myself some serious harm. After a very drunken night out to end a crazy holiday, where we stayed in a tiny apartment in the ghetto of greece, which was found by turning left after the chickens and following the barbed wire behind the bushes. The kind of place where on arrival they give you a large glass of ouzo to get over the shock of being kicked off the main holiday coach to be told your staying up the mountain where da coach can't go hang on der at the side of that cliff and a van will pick you up!!
But back to the night in hand having survived a crazy holiday in greekender's and a week of heavy air conditioning I had acclimatised to the heat and feeling the cold decided to turn down the air-con. Which should be an easy task! However in my attempt to do this I managed to stub my toe on the bed fall over, wrap a bag around my foot, trip over a suitcase desperately grasp for the wall for support .. miss the wall, land on poor Cher's head while still reaching for the remote for the air-conditioning to finally fall off the bed!
At this point i then realised I couldn't work the remote!! Battered and bruised I headed back to my bed while Cher laughed so hard at the state of me I thought she might choke!

Margan · 17-08-2010 5:25pm

My funny story happened to me when I was inter-railing. My friend and I had just met two other girls in Paris and were going to Amsterdam next. Since we had a day free we said we'd check out Bruges inspired by the Colin Farrell movie "In Bruges". So, we go to the train ticket desk and asked for 4 tickets to Bruges-no problems there. However, little did we know that our trip was an ill-fated one and we had so many warnings. When we got the ticket, my friend asked, "How come it's taking 5 hours to get to Bruges?" (Alarm bell 1) and I answered "We're probably just crossing a time line or something" (I know, stupid or what!) So anyway, we got on the train for our 4 hour journey then switched over at Bordeaux to get the train to Burges. Alarm bell number 2. Anyone with a basic knowledge of French geography should know that Bordeaux is in the south of France (and Bruges-in Belgium-is the the North). More annoyingly, one of the girls we were with had actually spent a summer in Bordeaux! Then, as a joke, one of the girls says "Can you imagine if we were going to the wrong Bruges." Cue laughter but slight concern by the rest of the group. I grab our travel book and have a look at the map of France. "Guys" I said "You'll never guess but Michelle is right, Bordeaux is in the south of France so we're going the complete wrong direction!!". PANIC STATIONS! Jumped off the train at the next stop (by the way this train was moving so slow I could have gone faster than it walking). Now we're in Limbo stuck somewhere between Bordeaux and french Bruges! The place where we landed was deserted I mean I was waiting for the tumbleweed. Had a timetable with us. Great it's not too bad a train back to Bordeaux in a half hour. We'll grab that get back to Paris and then go to Amsterdam the next day. One day lost not so bad. A half hour came and went. Checked the timetable again. My friend had read it wrong, the next train was 2 hours away! So we sat there laughing at our stupidity for 2&1/2 hours waiting for the train. Okay, 2&1/2 hours to make a plan. We're all students, had paid for accommodation for Bruges (Belgium) and were refusing to pay again for the same night. Our plans were sleep in the park outside the hostel we had been staying in and take it in turns to watch out for muggars, go to an all night disco or just wander the streets. One of the girls hid her card in her top but about 10 minutes later got uncomfortable and took them out! Turns out your bra does not act as a good wallet. the train finally arrived. Got that then went to Bordeaux. Four tickets to Paris please. There're sold out?? Oh no, just what we needed! Blagged our way onto the train buying a ticket to an earlier stop and then used the Irish charm for the remainng ones! Okay so we're in Paris, it's midnight, we don't know the city and we've no where to stay so we approach the information desk. Parlez vous anglais? (our french wasn't the greatest so didn't want to go embarassing ourselves further) Yes, I speak english but you ask me in French and I'll answer in English. Aaaahh! It took us 10 minutes to explain and the longer we stood there the more people came over to hear our story and laugh! At this point we had chickened out of all the plans we had made to not book accommodation. The guys set us up with a place to stay. So then we try to book our tickets for the next morning. Sold out again?! Can anything go right for us?? Right get to the hostel, sleep for 2 hours then get back to the train station. Wandered from the train station to the hostel. Sleep. Beep beep beep. Two hours already?? Got back to the train station, queued for the ticket desk. Four defeated voices-ticket for Amsterdam please. Only four tickets left for the train-yes our luck is turning! Huzzah! Got on the train and had the soundest sleep ever. Got to Amsterdam and the rest was plain sailing!;) For anyone else out there that wants to go to Bruges, there are two Bruges-one in the South of France, one in Belgium. The one in the south of France is Bruges the one in Belgium is pronounced Brrrrruuuuges. Turns out our Irish accents were what let us down.:D

imgoinghome · 17-08-2010 5:41pm

Upon coming across this competition I felt compelled to share my holiday *embarrassing* moment.

A few years ago I went mountain climbing with a group of random people from Dublin as part of a tip to Germany to climb the Alps. After a few hard days of being up early and going to bed late it took its toll on the auld muscles so a large group of about twenty of us decided to go for a swim and sauna to loosen up those muscles.
After relaxing in the pool for a little while I noticed other people using this waterfall flowing thing. It was like a shower but really strong and it massaged your back as it gushed down over your head. I thought this was amazing and waited for the person in front of me to finish so I could use it too. At this stage everyone was back in the pool messing around and I proceed to use the waterfall. I closed my eyes and put my head under it, it was truly powerful and pressure was immense on your body and you couldn’t hear anything but the water.
Once I had decided that was enough I walked out and looked into the pool and everyone was looking up at me smiling and laughing, I didn’t know what was going on. Then one of the lads said “ah you might wanna check your strap there” my swimsuit came down at the front and my entire cleavage was on show from the moment the first gush of water ran down my body! The worst thing about it was I was there for about 15 minutes under the waterfall facing an audience in the pool rubbing my body. Needless to say the lads enjoyed it!
Upside- I pulled that night with a guy that was in the pool (I guess he did a bit of stocktaking).

specialk1977 · 17-08-2010 7:32pm

ok so it was day 4 of my honeymoon in Spain.I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time. My husband decide to go out for a few late night drinks down to de hotel lobby while I had an early night.So it must have been about 2.15 am when mmy hubby stumbled into the room and rudely woke me up(I love my sleep)Anywayz as I was trying to turn on de light i felt something crawl along my hand.Fumbling at de wall for de light switch I finally managed to turn to light on and to my horror there was a million and one ants in 4 perfect lines going from de window of our apartment:p,across the floor,up to our headboard adn down to de side of my bed.(There was a dead fly on de floor beside de bed):eek::eek::eek:.My worst nightmare,so I started screaming uncontrolably and freaking out.I grabbed de neares thing to me which was a glass of water and threw it at de ants.
What happens next you wont believe but as I was throwing de water at de ants it got into de light switch and next thing we see is sparks,ha ha:rolleyes:.What next can happen I hear you ask. So superman A.K.A my hubby steps in drunken and all and grabs de fire extinguisher, not only does he put out de fire,kill de ants ,but made an absolute mess of de apartment. The poor creator it was his first time using an extinguisher and kinda lost control of it.So after about 15 mins went by and we calmed down we had to get a little story together to complain to de receptionist.My husband went down drunk:D complaining that this fire was unacceptable and that his poor pregnant wife was so distressed over the situation and demanded another apartment .And we got it and it was wayyy bigger than de previous one.So that was our funny honemoon story

alanajane · 17-08-2010 7:54pm

My funniest holiday incident happened a few years back.

My 3 daughters were very young at the time, about 11, 9 and 5. We were staying in a caravan by the sea in Waterford, I cant remember the exact location.

One day we were all paddling in the sea and the girls were tip-toeing around terrified of getting bitten by crab or stung by jellyfish, my husband, the-big-man, was saying 'oh dont be silly, they more afraid of you than you are of them etc etc'

So I crept up behind him and tickled his foot with the net of the fishing net I was carrying, frightened the life out of him, he started going round in circles beating the water with a tennis racket and shouting oh jesus! oh jesus!

The girls and I were howling laughing (I still laughing remembering it), he was mortified when even a woman walking her dog on the beach laughed at him. Eejit!

cosmoqueen · 17-08-2010 9:30pm

Having used boards.ie for years as an uncommitted imposter I have finally bitten the bullet and become an official member just to allow me to share my funniest/most embarrassing holiday story with you and all at Alpha Rooms so I do hope you enjoy!

I was on a family holiday in Lanzarote and spending the day on the beach. He-whom-will-remain-nameless decided to take a dip in the sea to cool off from the mid-day sun. Unfortunately he-of-no-name cannot swim and is very cautious of the water. To compound matters, this very day was particularly busy on the beach with swarm like formations of sand castle constructing tiny toddles and parked up paddlers at the edge of the water. This human traffic congestion required himself to venture a little further out from the sea shore than one (well ok me) would like. He-of-no-name was cautiously concentrating on each incoming wave and ensuring that he was carefully anchored to the sea bed however us on the sea shore could see him drifting marginally but significantly further away from our view. Not wanting to necessitate a dramatic rescue of he who is not a small gentleman from the canarian waters, I began to approach the waterfront to encourage him back to ankle level waters. However as I approached the water, a tsunami like wave (well perhaps of waist height but certainly grossly huge for our non swimmer) rattled our man and the next thing I see are his very Irish yellow-submarine shorts around his ankles. Me not wanting to create any further embarrassment (for either of us) decided not to alert himself to the fact I had witnessed the incident and so quickly returned to my sunbed. Little did I anticate the scene out sea front when I returned to my viewing spot- himself-of-no-name so pre-occupied with his marine safety had omitted to notice his wayward garments! To my horror, the little ones by the water edge were being rushed and bundled away by their parental representatives from this dangerous man-of-no-name. Further commotion began when a particularly irate spanish man began to exclaim "fronté exposé" and motioning the coastguard to the scene. Now, I aint no spanish Chica but I got the gist of the complainant's remarks, assessed the potential consequences, imagined scenes from Banged up Abroad and quickly summonsed himself-of-no name, shorts or no shorts, to the shore, back up the beach and to the safety of our apartment at lightening speed.

It was only after our return from our canarian holiday that we could let a little giggle or many escape about Mr-Unintented-Indecently-Exposed and only ever in his absence of course!

didntgotoplan · 17-08-2010 10:53pm

My funniest holiday story happened many many years ago when I was 3. I don't remember it all but it's a story thats been told at every family get together the past 20 years!

My whole mam's side of the family (about 20 of us) had a big family holiday every year at Butlins in Dublin. So during this week holiday, we would go to one of the other relatives rooms for dinner every evening. One evening we were having dinner with my granny and her sister, who was a bit forgetful, said she would help out. So she was getting the drinks ready that evening before dinner.

So we sat down for the meal and I end up (greedy child I was) drinking all my drink before starting eating! So as we are going along, my aunt drank some of hers and turned around and said it was only lemonade. My granny's sister knew she poured out some west coast cooler for her and wondered who had the wrong drink. My other relatives thought she had just forgot, so we all went down to the entertainment that was there at night and everyone forgot about it.

Until I stopped being quiet and began being really giddy, laughing at silly little things and messing, when they realized that they had mixed up mine and my aunts drink earlier on! Cue a night where I was singing Molly Malone and dancing around laughing. The redcoats heard me singing and decided it would be great to get me on stage and sing for everyone. But instead I told everyone there that I was after drinking wine! I was brought back to our room after that, when I fell asleep snoring pretty soon after that.

mfceiling · 18-08-2010 12:13am

Went to south brazil on my way home from oz 9 years ago en route to rio for the carnival.
We were getting plagued by the locals in the small town we stayed in because we spoke english and looked different.
The lady on the beach with the sun loungers really took a shine to my missus as she had mentioned to her that she'd been university educated.
Every day we'd try to sneak past her and her husband just to try and get some peace and quiet.
The 2nd last day we get noticed by her and she tells us she is cooking dinner for us that night.
OK............she calls to the hostel that evening for us in a car that wouldn't pass the NCT here in a month of sundays and proceeds to drive for 40 odd miles like micheal schumacher while the hubby "holds" his safety belt around himself but never actually buckles it!!
We eventually arrive in the middle of a favela and get the guided tour of a house that has electric in one half but not the other.
Halfway through cooking her gas goes so she sends the hubby out in the dark to get a new gas bottle - he has only 20% vision in one eye we now learn.
Hubby arrives back 2 hours later with bottle.
Dinner is served at 1.15a.m...her 2 daughters sit there giving us weird looks.
She then pulls out a guitar and wants to know what hymns we can sing together!!
By this stage it's well after 2 so we thank her for the evening and decide to go home.....her car won't start!!
Eventually we get a taxi back to the bus station because it's "too far" for the taxi man to drive us as he wants to go home to give the missus some loving:eek:
We get on a night bus which is full of lads who are drunk and/or on cocaine...and are looking at me and herself like some sort of prey.
The missus tells me we need to look less touristy and we should take off our watches in case we get attacked for them.
Job done...but we are still being watched.
The missus takes out a large can of fanta, pulls the ringpull and the fcuking thing explodes covering us head to toe in fanta.
The people on the bus start breaking their arses laughing at us and i'm sure i hear the word gringo in there.
We make it back to the hostel at 5.30 to catch a 14hr bus journey to rio which leaves at 8.00

We still laugh about it to this day!!

[COMPETITION] Win a 7 night holiday in Majorca

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