Is it worth it? Being nice.

scientific1982 · 13-08-2010 07:13PM

It is worth doing good turns op. Fair play to ya.

Terry · 13-08-2010 07:26PM

I was at the off license earlier and held the door open for a woman who was leaving as I was going in.
When she walked out, she muttered "I'm capable of opening the door myself".

My old man was extremely mannerly and brought me up to be mannerly. Some people are just complete ****. That doesn't stop me from holding doors open for anyone though.

angelxx · 13-08-2010 07:35PM

It's nice to be nice, Unfortunately people tend too be very ungrateful.

I_AmThe_Walrus · 13-08-2010 07:51PM

I don't think it is worth it.

Allow me to explain: Gone are the days where my grandad would receive recognition from his friends for loaning them money (he always got it back on time), providing support, being a good family man, never missing work and doing community service...

Now, all people want to do when you are decent is take, take and take from you. More is never enough. No one congratulates you anymore for an achievement, they begrudge you.

Dman001 · 13-08-2010 08:39PM

I was queuing to enter a bus one day, and an elderly woman walked towards the queue, heading towards me as I was just about to enter the bus. She skipped ahead of me and others in the queue (not intentionally, she seemed a bit confused), and proceeded to enter the bus. I stood back and let her carry on and enter the bus when a middle aged woman in the queue started to give out to the elderly woman and told her there was a queue and she was to wait in line. But I told the elderly woman that she was fine and to continue to enter the bus. The woman in the queue wasn't happy but was worth it, as the elderly woman turned around and thanked me and said her feet were paining her.

Couldn't believe the middle aged woman in the queue, and she would be the very one complaining how today's youths have no respect for their elders.

Ectoplasm · 13-08-2010 09:00PM

It is nice to be nice and while some people can be ****ers, that's not always the case.

Years ago, I found a wallet at work. It had €800 cash, along with a load of receipts, pictures, drivers licence etc. I reported it to my manager and stuck it in the safe in work. I was off for the next two weeks.

On my first day back to work I had totally forgotten about it, so you can imagine my surprise when the guy who owned the wallet walked in with a card, a box of chocolates, and a bunch of flowers. He told me how happy he was to get his wallet back, how impressed he was that all the cash was still there and how much he appreciated it. I later found out he'd stuck €20 in the card too. Now this may have been over the top (honestly I'd have been just as happy to get a thank you) it made my day at the time, and I still remember it years later.

Des Carter · 13-08-2010 09:29PM

I believe that its good to be nice and I would try to be helpful etc whenever I can

BUT I also believe in staying out of other peoples business as you dont know what your getting involved in.

matamoros1965 · 13-08-2010 11:45PM

a thing about Stoic philosophy which said that virtue is it's own reward and that to me sounded right.

Two good ones were, picked up a broken down biker on a Friday evening beside the Airport and brought him home to Drogheda in my Transit, I was a biker at the time, had dinner and a glass or two with him and his family, nice guy, glad to help him, he kept in touch and got the AA to pay me €40 for bringing him home as he was a member and they had no vehicle to pick him up with. Totally unexpected bonus.

Noticed keys sticking out of the door of a Ford Fiesta in a very dodgy area in town, arranged for the person to have her keys back, I was a bike courier at the time and left them at the office and a lad dropped them to her, got a call next day to say thanks. At least, a €10k car handed back for no reward, I wouldn't mind but my Sis was driving exactly the same car but with a few gearbox troubles, so easy to use for spares, couldn't do it.

Scuid Mhór · 13-08-2010 11:54PM

tmcw wrote: »

What I mean is, is it worth going to the trouble of going out of your way to maybe help someone out.

My story: found an envelope in the car park where I work a few weeks back. It was filthy dirty, mouldy looking, torn, looked like it was driven over a few times, and wet. Noticed a name on the front, marked for their attention, and their company dept. Now I know if I had left it in with the caretakers here, it would still be sitting in a lost and found box, even if someone had reported it missing (no 5hit).

Anyway, had a look inside to see if there was anything of value, and found a load of receipts; maybe 20-30 petrol station receipts, varying from €30-€50, about the same amount of parking chits, and a garage service receipt about €750 IIRC. Reg number on the petrol station receipts were for a 10 D Toyota Avensis, looking at it all together, probably expenses claims for a salesperson from that company.

So, bearing in mind how I thought submitting the envelope to the caretakers here would pan out, I took it upon myself to contact the company directly, and it was easy enough as they are a well known company, submitted some info via their customer service web-form, and a few days later had an e-mail reply from the FAO person on the envelope, with an address to return the envelope I found.

So, I went to the PO (I fcuking HATE going to the PO), and spent €5.25 of my own cash sending it via registered post, as I felt a bit responsible for what I found, and wanted to make sure that it was received on the other end.

Tracking showed that the letter I sent was received on Monday. Friday today, and no "thank you" from the people I returned the envelope to. Now I wasn't expecting a reward, or box of chocolates, or a blowjob for returning something that was probably quite valuable (and difficult to replace) to someone, but not even a thanks! A bit disappointed tbh.

So, what's your story, can be a 5hitty ending like mine, though it would be refreshing to hear some nice outcomes where someone was actually grateful for your unselfish intervention.

of course it's not worth it. people never fail to let you down and disappoint. welcome to the world.

Gator · 14-08-2010 12:22AM

no

Dudess · 14-08-2010 12:23AM

podgemonster wrote: »

I remember finding a wallet on Patrick Str., Cork with over 100€ in it and about €40 HMV vouchers.

With the owners student card i was able to find her as I knew a lad in her class. I handed to her and she nearly ripped it outta my hand saying OMG i was looking for this and started counting the money in it. Then looked at me and said 'I spose you want money now do ya'.

I just walked off, bitch! Shoulda taken some cash out of it!

Stupid kunt. Same thing happened to my friend, also in Cork, virtually the same amount of money and replace HMV vouchers with Brown Thomas ones, and my friend used the student card to find her - a mutter of "Oh yeah, thanks" and she stalked off. My friend was gutted she didn't just take the money for herself.
I know what people mean when they say the good deed in and of itself is rewarding, but it's not nice to be met with... not just a lack of acknowledgement, but downright rudeness. :-/

Saibh · 14-08-2010 12:29AM

Probably not in some cases, it is nice if people show some appreciation if you did something that helped them out, but if they don't bother, I won't lose any sleep over it.

Lust4Life · 14-08-2010 12:32AM

It all comes back to you in the end. Do unto others and all that. It's best to lean towards the light!

However, if you're expecting thanks, maybe you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

Red Hand · 14-08-2010 12:38AM

Lust4Life wrote: »

It all comes back to you in the end. Do unto others and all that. It's best to lean towards the light!

However, if you're expecting thanks, maybe you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

I just thanked you there.

You know you wanted it.:pac:

fonecrusher1 · 14-08-2010 12:40AM

Terry wrote: »

I was at the off license earlier and held the door open for a woman who was leaving as I was going in.
When she walked out, she muttered "I'm capable of opening the door myself".

Oh dear christ that would anger me to point that i would have to respond with a loud you ignorant mare response.

Funny i should see this thread, i did a nice thing today. I was out on a bit of a walk/jog in a nice little sort of nature walk near where i live. Two guys passed me on horses (i think they were settled travellers? quite rough looking if im honest.) & as soon as i passed them i noticed a bit of horse-riding type gear lying on the ground. Obviously it had fallen from one of the horses seconds before our encounter so i grabbed it & called after the two lads.
They were very appreciative of my gesture & were very polite. Which was a complete contradiction of what i thought their response might be.

14-08-2010 12:55AM

Dudess wrote: »

Stupid kunt. Same thing happened to my friend, also in Cork, virtually the same amount of money and replace HMV vouchers with Brown Thomas ones, and my friend used the student card to find her - a mutter of "Oh yeah, thanks" and she stalked off. My friend was gutted she didn't just take the money for herself.
I know what people mean when they say the good deed in and of itself is rewarding, but it's not nice to be met with... not just a lack of acknowledgement, but downright rudeness. :-/

Yeah. It is really quite crushing to go to trouble to do something for a stranger and have them not appreciate it at all. I just can't get my head around what kind of person has their head stuck that far up their ass that they can't feel grateful when someone does them a huge favour.

mikemac · 14-08-2010 01:00AM

Lorrs33 wrote: »

Unfortunately I'm always going out of my way to do nice things to people, comes with low self-esteem

Me too.

We're people pleasers, desperate for acknowledgement, terrified of criticism and always convinced that we are not "good enough"

Whoh, I better leave AH and stroll over to personal issues

Ridley · 14-08-2010 01:01AM

tmcw wrote: »

What I mean is, is it worth going to the trouble of going out of your way to maybe help someone out.

My story: found an envelope in the car park where I work a few weeks back. It was filthy dirty, mouldy looking, torn, looked like it was driven over a few times, and wet. Noticed a name on the front, marked for their attention, and their company dept. Now I know if I had left it in with the caretakers here, it would still be sitting in a lost and found box, even if someone had reported it missing (no 5hit).

Anyway, had a look inside to see if there was anything of value, and found a load of receipts; maybe 20-30 petrol station receipts, varying from €30-€50, about the same amount of parking chits, and a garage service receipt about €750 IIRC. Reg number on the petrol station receipts were for a 10 D Toyota Avensis, looking at it all together, probably expenses claims for a salesperson from that company.

So, bearing in mind how I thought submitting the envelope to the caretakers here would pan out, I took it upon myself to contact the company directly, and it was easy enough as they are a well known company, submitted some info via their customer service web-form, and a few days later had an e-mail reply from the FAO person on the envelope, with an address to return the envelope I found.

So, I went to the PO (I fcuking HATE going to the PO), and spent €5.25 of my own cash sending it via registered post, as I felt a bit responsible for what I found, and wanted to make sure that it was received on the other end.

Tracking showed that the letter I sent was received on Monday. Friday today, and no "thank you" from the people I returned the envelope to. Now I wasn't expecting a reward, or box of chocolates, or a blowjob for returning something that was probably quite valuable (and difficult to replace) to someone, but not even a thanks! A bit disappointed tbh.

It's worth it if you're prepared to do that all over again in the same circumstances.

The_D_Man · 14-08-2010 01:08AM

mars bar wrote: »

Thank you. Two simple words a lot of people seem to trip over trying to say these days. It's one thing that really bugs me is when a person can't say thank you. Especially old people.

If I found a wallet or anything like that, I would make it my mission to find the person it belongs to.

Completely agree with you. Especially the old people part. Having worked in a petrol station for almost 3 years(part-time), I can honestly say old people are the most ignorant of all age-groups. Some of them are sound and would talk away to you but most treat young people with downright disrespect for no entire reason, and their thanks are few and far between.

Tail Wagger · 14-08-2010 01:09AM

tmcw wrote: »

What I mean is, is it worth going to the trouble of going out of your way to maybe help someone out.

My story: found an envelope in the car park where I work a few weeks back. It was filthy dirty, mouldy looking, torn, looked like it was driven over a few times, and wet. Noticed a name on the front, marked for their attention, and their company dept. Now I know if I had left it in with the caretakers here, it would still be sitting in a lost and found box, even if someone had reported it missing (no 5hit).

Anyway, had a look inside to see if there was anything of value, and found a load of receipts; maybe 20-30 petrol station receipts, varying from €30-€50, about the same amount of parking chits, and a garage service receipt about €750 IIRC. Reg number on the petrol station receipts were for a 10 D Toyota Avensis, looking at it all together, probably expenses claims for a salesperson from that company.

So, bearing in mind how I thought submitting the envelope to the caretakers here would pan out, I took it upon myself to contact the company directly, and it was easy enough as they are a well known company, submitted some info via their customer service web-form, and a few days later had an e-mail reply from the FAO person on the envelope, with an address to return the envelope I found.

So, I went to the PO (I fcuking HATE going to the PO), and spent €5.25 of my own cash sending it via registered post, as I felt a bit responsible for what I found, and wanted to make sure that it was received on the other end.

Tracking showed that the letter I sent was received on Monday. Friday today, and no "thank you" from the people I returned the envelope to. Now I wasn't expecting a reward, or box of chocolates, or a blowjob for returning something that was probably quite valuable (and difficult to replace) to someone, but not even a thanks! A bit disappointed tbh.

So, what's your story, can be a 5hitty ending like mine, though it would be refreshing to hear some nice outcomes where someone was actually grateful for your unselfish intervention.

Thank's man...

Drumpot · 14-08-2010 01:09AM

I believe in Karma . . Not because I am superstitous but because some of the responses I get from ignorant people when I do them a good deed would just kill me if I didnt ! !

Im by no means an angel, but generally doing a nice thing for somebody else makes me feel good so in one way I do get a reward for doing a good deed. .

I think its always worth doing a good deed unless something bad comes of it . . A person being an ignorant self centred git is not necessaraily bad . In fact its kind of sad and you are probobley looking at a person with few friends . .

Tail Wagger · 14-08-2010 01:37AM

I agree with above, i'd rather do a good turn than a bad one. Maybe it's because I worked as a shop assistant for more years than I'd like to remember...

Deus Ex Machina · 14-08-2010 01:42AM

I didn't bother reading the whole title post because I assume the title is all I need to know. I am nice when I feel like it, because when I am in the mood to be nice it feels good to act on those feelings. Outside of that, whether or not I am nice is based on a sort of game theory model of not being mean if it is going to have consequences in my future. If I am in a bad mood and I am never going to see you again I can be a right so and so.

14-08-2010 01:42AM

My Brother's a big Hull (football team) fan. He booked a holiday to hull for his birthday to see them play. Booked it months in advance and when the weekend finally rolled around, it turned out Hull would be playing in Ireland (against Galway, i think? was last year I believe).

Anyway I made a post moaning about it, and I won't name names, but a user on the Football forum here, whom i never spoke to before and haven't really since (sadly), got me a program from the game and posted it to my for free. Asked me to throw a fiver in a charity box.

Wa genuinely shocked. Not only did it take him time and effort to get the program (and it was in excellent condition, too), but he also spent money buying it and posting it to me.

It's people like that, that literally make me almost feel sad. People who are so willing to go out of their way to help others out. My brother was thrilled when he opened the envelope and I don't think any amount of posts thanking the guy on boards would do it justice.

There's also another Boardsie who came into Drogheda to show me a few bits and pieces regarding photography. Met with him twice and still talk to him on here the odd time, and will most likely end up meeting him again sometime, but he is also a great guy.

It's people like that, who help balance out the pricks who don't appreciate anything.

caprilicious · 14-08-2010 02:38AM

KKV I think people like you've described balance out all the ar$eholes out there that don't appreciate when you do a nice turn for them.

I can think of several times I've been polite to people/gone out of my way to do something nice for a person only to have it thrown back in my face or just outright ignored.

Yet for the amount of people that have done that, I can also count on people that have done random acts of kindness for me.

Definitely think Karma is at play

OP that was a really nice thing you did ensuring the receipts were returned to the company.
I agree with the other posters, chances are post was taken in in one department and just the receipts, none of your details were forwarded on.
(Maybe that's just the optimist in me

)

Lust4Life · 14-08-2010 04:38AM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

I just thanked you there.

You know you wanted it.:pac:

Why, Thanks, Jer! I wasn't expecting that!

Seloth · 14-08-2010 08:24AM

I find myself getting bitter and bitter each time I'm out,

I was a nice person,but unfortunatly we are used,betrayed and decieved.While I still try and do nice actions and not say ill of others,they dont seem to hold the same reguard for myself.

Hopfully going into Uni this year,the ideal career I hope to have a friend keeps critising saying"Oh you'll be all corrputed blah blah",in all fairnes I'm trying to do ssomthing that will help f**kin people,unlike yourself trying to prove your an "artist" to the world when you use the same recycled stuff to boost your own self indulaged egotystical way.

I keep my mouth shut so much so to not hurt anyone or start an argument mng apart friends,yet I will never get recigniton for this,and while I never planned too it still makes me upset as again as I mentioned above,others dont seem to have the same respect

stateofflux · 14-08-2010 10:28AM

a fiver is better than a guilt trip...you did the right thing for you....it would be wrecking your head if you didnt do it.....if i saw that amount of receipts i would think instantly "sales exec wanker"....then a PO address for you to post it..="veteran sales exec wanker"

RedXIV · 14-08-2010 11:30AM

I like this topic.

I found a purse a few months ago on a bus and my gf was able to find the owner through facebook from the name on the bank card (modern technology eh?) But my gf said she'd go in the next day and drop it into her work. My gf was starting to get heavily pregnant at this stage but walked into Dublin city centre and dropped it into her, expecting nothing. The girl who owned the wallet had a nice little selection box thing from Butlers waiting for my missus as a thank you and was really genuine and grateful.

And another night while out on the town, I was a little worse for wear and found a phone. Used it to ring a taxi home and then rang "home" on it to tell the owner I had it. He came up to my house the next morning and said thanks so i forgot about it. But everytime I saw him after that he'd either buy me a pint or a coffee or something. Really liked that guy.

I think it's worth being nice simply because you'd like it if people were nice to you. I lost my camera and a guy drove up to me to give it back, the same with a wallet too.

Nice people are awesome

kilmuckridge · 14-08-2010 02:04PM

Nice people are awesome, but especially underappreciated are those who spend countless unpaid hours doing for this country what those responsible refuse to do because it might be too much work. I met someone recently working several pay grades below her abilities because of her time spent doing voluntary work.

Is it worth it? Being nice.

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