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Is it worth it? Being nice.

  • 13-08-2010 9:59am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 396 ✭✭tmcw


    What I mean is, is it worth going to the trouble of going out of your way to maybe help someone out.

    My story: found an envelope in the car park where I work a few weeks back. It was filthy dirty, mouldy looking, torn, looked like it was driven over a few times, and wet. Noticed a name on the front, marked for their attention, and their company dept. Now I know if I had left it in with the caretakers here, it would still be sitting in a lost and found box, even if someone had reported it missing (no 5hit).

    Anyway, had a look inside to see if there was anything of value, and found a load of receipts; maybe 20-30 petrol station receipts, varying from €30-€50, about the same amount of parking chits, and a garage service receipt about €750 IIRC. Reg number on the petrol station receipts were for a 10 D Toyota Avensis, looking at it all together, probably expenses claims for a salesperson from that company.

    So, bearing in mind how I thought submitting the envelope to the caretakers here would pan out, I took it upon myself to contact the company directly, and it was easy enough as they are a well known company, submitted some info via their customer service web-form, and a few days later had an e-mail reply from the FAO person on the envelope, with an address to return the envelope I found.

    So, I went to the PO (I fcuking HATE going to the PO), and spent €5.25 of my own cash sending it via registered post, as I felt a bit responsible for what I found, and wanted to make sure that it was received on the other end.

    Tracking showed that the letter I sent was received on Monday. Friday today, and no "thank you" from the people I returned the envelope to. Now I wasn't expecting a reward, or box of chocolates, or a blowjob for returning something that was probably quite valuable (and difficult to replace) to someone, but not even a thanks! A bit disappointed tbh.

    So, what's your story, can be a 5hitty ending like mine, though it would be refreshing to hear some nice outcomes where someone was actually grateful for your unselfish intervention.


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88,972 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    I wouldn't do a good turn expecting to be thanked to be honest. I'd do it as I thought it was worth doing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,688 ✭✭✭Kasabian


    You have probably got someone in trouble for fiddling their expenses.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,915 ✭✭✭RobbieTheRobber


    Do good things and good things will happen thats what TV has told me!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    I dont have a story. Its always nice to be nice. I'm all about the buddhist way of thinking.

    /well not the shutting up for a year part.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    I prefer being a bollocks myself


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 784 ✭✭✭thecornflake


    You might not have gotten that blowjob but it certainly sounds like you got shafted IMO.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Kiera wrote: »
    I dont have a story. Its always nice to be nice. I'm all about the buddhist way of thinking.

    /well not the shutting up for a year part.....

    Their idea on re-incarnation is something else alright.

    treat something like shíte... you come back lower in the food chain then they were...


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,656 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Let no kind deed go unpunished! ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,595 ✭✭✭Gaz


    Some people are just cocks


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 396 ✭✭tmcw


    Gaz wrote: »
    Some people are just cocks

    It was to their personnel dept, so I guess the response (or lack thereof) was to be expected.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    I always try to help people in simple situations. Opening doors, stepping off narrow paths, picking things up etc.
    I do appreciate a thanks as well, but rarely get one. But what keeps me doing it is when you see that one person out of every one-hundred that gives you a proper thanks. A real happy one. One that brightens up your own day, as well as theirs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Their idea on re-incarnation is something else alright.

    treat something like shíte... you come back lower in the food chain then they were...

    I like their "smile" attitude. They're awesome people!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,656 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Us Whisperers always shed a tear when we help them see the light.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,112 ✭✭✭Dacelonid


    Fair play to ya OP, not a lot of people would go to that trouble.
    The way I look at it is, if it were me I would be hoping and praying that some kindly soul would do the good deed and return my lost property (or whatever it was), therefore I too would return it.

    Now if it was someone I didn't like, or if there was actual money in it, I say F*CK'EM, my goodwill only extends so far


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,255 ✭✭✭Renn


    mike65 wrote: »
    I wouldn't do a good turn expecting to be thanked to be honest. I'd do it as I thought it was worth doing.

    Ughhh, not what he was really saying though was it?

    I forgot about this ignore function, must do it now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,247 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    tmcw wrote: »
    What I mean is, is it worth going to the trouble of going out of your way to maybe help someone out.

    My story: found an envelope in the car park where I work a few weeks back. It was filthy dirty, mouldy looking, torn, looked like it was driven over a few times, and wet. Noticed a name on the front, marked for their attention, and their company dept. Now I know if I had left it in with the caretakers here, it would still be sitting in a lost and found box, even if someone had reported it missing (no 5hit).

    Anyway, had a look inside to see if there was anything of value, and found a load of receipts; maybe 20-30 petrol station receipts, varying from €30-€50, about the same amount of parking chits, and a garage service receipt about €750 IIRC. Reg number on the petrol station receipts were for a 10 D Toyota Avensis, looking at it all together, probably expenses claims for a salesperson from that company.

    So, bearing in mind how I thought submitting the envelope to the caretakers here would pan out, I took it upon myself to contact the company directly, and it was easy enough as they are a well known company, submitted some info via their customer service web-form, and a few days later had an e-mail reply from the FAO person on the envelope, with an address to return the envelope I found.

    So, I went to the PO (I fcuking HATE going to the PO), and spent €5.25 of my own cash sending it via registered post, as I felt a bit responsible for what I found, and wanted to make sure that it was received on the other end.

    Tracking showed that the letter I sent was received on Monday. Friday today, and no "thank you" from the people I returned the envelope to. Now I wasn't expecting a reward, or box of chocolates, or a blowjob for returning something that was probably quite valuable (and difficult to replace) to someone, but not even a thanks! A bit disappointed tbh.

    So, what's your story, can be a 5hitty ending like mine, though it would be refreshing to hear some nice outcomes where someone was actually grateful for your unselfish intervention.

    Name and shame, and set up an abusive facebook account with the name of the company and "bastards" in the title.


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,788 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    You need to submit that registered post as an expense.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Lorrs33


    Unfortunately I'm always going out of my way to do nice things to people, comes with low self-esteem :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,327 ✭✭✭Sykk


    Being nice and mannerly is worth it. But if I go out of my way to be nice to someone, and they're a cúnt in return.. They'll never receive that courtesy from me again.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,386 ✭✭✭monkeypants


    It was the right thing to do and well done to you for doing it.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭crazyderk


    I find a good balance between being nice and being a cheeky bollix help:D:D

    for every nice job I do it entitles me to be a cheeky bollix and I have found that so far in my 28 years on this planet it has worked, my goal is when I get to the pearly gates (if I get to the pearly gates) to have 1 more good deed that cheeky deed then i'm in!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,396 ✭✭✭Tefral


    Brother went down to Waterford on his last phase of his apprentiship, he left his phone in the back of a taxi, taxi driver found it, contacted my dad through the phone and then taxi driver dropped it into WIT to him, the brother gave him the price of a few pints.

    Fair play to him. My brother has returned phones he has found too so i defo believe theres some kind of Karma attached to it.

    I have returned wallets etc to their owners, never got anything but i know the feeling when you have lost your wallet and when someone finds it and returns it.


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,788 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Lorrs33 wrote: »
    Unfortunately I'm always going out of my way to do nice things to people, comes with low self-esteem :(

    Giggidy!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Lorrs33


    Giggidy!

    Not like that :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭podgemonster


    I remember finding a wallet on Patrick Str., Cork with over 100€ in it and about €40 HMV vouchers.

    With the owners student card i was able to find her as I knew a lad in her class. I handed to her and she nearly ripped it outta my hand saying OMG i was looking for this and started counting the money in it. Then looked at me and said 'I spose you want money now do ya'.

    I just walked off, bitch! Shoulda taken some cash out of it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭Doop


    I do generally go out of my way to be nice but..

    A couple of years ago, I opened a letter and found my driving licence in it (I didnt know I was missing it!) Turns out some chick had found it on a bus in Poland (I had returned home about a month previously) And with it a big long letter, saying how she was heading to IReland for a couple of weeks soon, gave me dates everything, and hinted that we should meet up and i could show her around etc. She also asked I write back a letter or email letting her know I recieved the driving licence.

    So I pinned it to my notice board, and said well that was nice of her must write back.
    The end! (I only threw the letter out the other day)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,016 ✭✭✭✭Mars Bar


    Thank you. Two simple words a lot of people seem to trip over trying to say these days. It's one thing that really bugs me is when a person can't say thank you. Especially old people.

    If I found a wallet or anything like that, I would make it my mission to find the person it belongs to.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 177 ✭✭lyndonjones


    Ok here is my story...

    Bout 4 months ago my wife went to the BoI ATM to withdraw money and to her amazement she found money protruding from the machine, exact amount can't remember but somewhere in the region of €400 along with the advice note. There is no-one at the ATM or in the immediate area.

    She returns home and contacts the bank and informs them that she has found a sum of money in the ATM, it transpires that the machine was "slow" in issuing the money and advice note and the person assumed that the machine was acting up so the person went to the counter to withdraw the money.

    The bank fone her back and tell her of the error and that they have identified the person who is out of pocket and could she drop down the money!

    Issue_01: My wife had to return to the bank to give them the money, they couldn't call and collect - putting my wife out - school runs, dinners etc etc. Now you say to yourself why didn't she go into the bank and hand over the money then. I decided that this way would mean that their be an opportunity for the owner of the cash to express their gratitude.

    So my wife went to the bank and handed over the money along with her contact number, she gets a text 4hrs later with a bare thanks from the owner of the money.

    Issue_02 - My wife didn't return the money for a reward but an acknowledgement in some small form would have been appreciated and made you feel good about yourself. No I hear ye all saying that is not the point but hell a small bunch of flowers for €5 wouldn't go astray. The balance on the advice note read over €18K!!!!

    Issue_03 The bank itself should have made an example of this action by an honest customer and recognised it in some small way to - even a request from the bank manager to call in so my wife could have been thanked personally by him/ her.


    If it happened again what would I do??

    Def think twice.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Cheeky_gal


    I can't stand this OP.

    It seems like 99% of people take kindness for weakness.

    I remember my boyfriend asked me to ask my mate who works in IKEA to give him discount on curtains and Poles and he asked me if I would pick out the curtains for him (he moved into a new apartment) so I said I would, and my mate gave me the discount. I went to my boyfriends house with the stuff and he was delighted.

    A week later he decided to break up with me with some sh*tty excuse (the age difference), and can I just say we were with each toher for 9 months and the "age" was never an issue!

    Pr*ck !


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    He wanted you for Curtains?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Dunjohn


    You'll eventually learn to spot the curtain users.

    I've gone out of my way to help people with things like what people are talking about here, and I'll keep doing it. A few thankless ones and the odd genuinely negative experience won't embitter me.

    Could have run over a lot of people on the way home earlier. Didn't do it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,103 ✭✭✭mathie


    Cheeky_gal wrote: »
    I remember my boyfriend asked me to ask my mate who works in IKEA to give him discount on curtains and Poles and he asked me if I would pick out the curtains for him (he moved into a new apartment) so I said I would, and my mate gave me the discount. I went to my boyfriends house with the stuff and he was delighted.
    !

    Ikea sell people now?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 834 ✭✭✭The Agogo


    Yes OP it's worth being nice


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    only a few posts with thanks so far in this thread, the people of AH are not on form!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Dunjohn


    mink_man wrote: »
    only a few posts with thanks so far in this thread, the people of AH are not on form!

    I think that's the whole point of the thread.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 211 ✭✭CrazyFish


    Remember I was going to the shop before and found a wallet close enough to it. Looked inside to check for some id but there was none so decided it would be best to hand it into the shop near me because there would be a good chance that is where they would have came from. So I give it to the shop keeper and started looking around the shop to see what I wanted to buy. While I am doing this the a women walks in and asks the shopkeeper did she leave a wallet here. The shopkepper replys "I have your wallet, I found it outside."

    I think it was pure cheeky that she claimed she found it. Especially since I was still in the shop.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,247 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    mink_man wrote: »
    only a few posts with thanks so far in this thread, the people of AH are not on form!

    Yeh, it's hard being nice, with all these ungrateful feckers pissing on people's fireworks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 337 ✭✭CavanCrew


    I bought this patient a newspaper and chocolate :L and refused to take money for it! Break the bank i know, bt i then didnt have enough money to buy myself some lunch ha. strugglin student times :p

    Felt good helping the man out tho,
    Can be a boring aul place at times.

    On the other hand, i was pissed drunk one night and went out with 1 phone .. came home with 3 :L


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 50 ✭✭mr_staggerlee


    l recently found 2 mobile phones, first one on the beach took it home charged and then it started ringing, so answered it and got a mouthful off this woman.....'do you ,you've got my husbands?' explained where l found it and waiting for it to charge to contact the owner, told her where l lived and he could pick it up, he came round in a big feck off 4X4 ,gave him the fancy phone , no thank you. felt that the implication was that l had stole their phone.
    swore l wouldn't do that again simply keep it and change sim
    however found another one ,phoned the owner and he was polite and grateful

    moral is find a big fancy phone that belongs to a rich fecker keep it ,cos the wanker will claim it on expenses


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  • So many people are just pig ignorant and self absorbed. I don't do things for thanks or reward, but if you go to that much trouble, you would just expect someone to have the manners to at least send a quick e-mail saying thanks. I found someone's bag left on a train once with a wallet with cards, photos, a travel journal with loads of sentimental stuff in it. The girl's email and postal address were on the journal, so I paid a few quid to send it to Canada with a short note explaining where I'd found it. Never heard anything back. I e-mailed her a few weeks later saying I hoped she'd received it, and she wrote back saying 'yeah I got it a few weeks ago.' No thanks, no appreciation, nothing. I'd definitely think twice before going out of my way for someone again.

    Also, this is a small one, but I was on the bus in Dublin a while ago and a fat American tourist asked me to tell him when we got to Trinity College. It was a bit annoying, as I was working on something and not paying attention to the road, but I thought 'ah why not'. So I spend the whole journey with it in my head to tell him. When we got there I shouted it out, but he didn't hear me, so I had to get up, go over to him and say 'we're at Trinity now.' He just gets up, grabs his back and goes down the stairs without so much as looking at me. I was so fecking annoyed, I said 'you're VERY welcome!' and he looks at me like I'm the idiot. The Polish couple across from me couldn't believe he wouldn't even say thanks. What the hell is wrong with people?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭xoxyx


    Could the person who got the envelope have contacted you? Were your details on the envelope? Even if they were, some people have their mail opened for them and may have had no idea who returned the receipts. There's no guarantee the person you spoke to initially explained what had happened to the owner of the receipts.

    So, they might be very grateful, but you just don't know about it.

    Anyway, I'm always dealing with eejits with no appreciation when I try to help them. You just have to realise that a good deed is it's own reward and if somebody is too bad tempered to say thanks they probably have a crappy life anyway.


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Of course it's worth being nice.

    If we let assholes determine whether or not we're nice. Then we'd all be assholes.

    Be nice - all the time. It's so much easier!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Ok here is my story...

    So the bank should have inconvenienced your wife even more by asking her to go all the way down to the bank again so she could have waited outside the manager's office for 15 minutes before being asked in and sat down for the 10 seconds it would take the manager to say "Thanks for doing that." ???

    Something tells me if that had happened you'd be on here giving out about that too. ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 359 ✭✭messymess


    OP, there's a difference between being 'nice' and being silly.

    You found an envelope full of receipts. If it meant that much to the person they probably could have got that transactional information from their credit card or another source. At worse they would have brokered a deal with their boss so they weren't out of pocket. You could have actually done more harm than good if this action has already occured .... so your good deal may have just got someone into **** ;)

    Sending the envelope via registered post!?? C'mon! If I had of been half ways arsed it would have been sent there without a stamp so they can pay for the postage. If it doesn't get there, SO WHAT, it's an envelope full of reciepts!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,247 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    messymess wrote: »
    OP, there's a difference between being 'nice' and being silly.

    You found an envelope full of receipts. If it meant that much to the person they probably could have got that transactional information from their credit card or another source. At worse they would have brokered a deal with their boss so they weren't out of pocket. You could have actually done more harm than good if this action has already occured .... so your good deal may have just got someone into **** ;)

    Sending the envelope via registered post!?? C'mon! If I had of been half ways arsed it would have been sent there without a stamp so they can pay for the postage. If it doesn't get there, SO WHAT, it's an envelope full of reciepts!!

    It probably wasn't anything to do with a government department, so receipts would be obligatory for claims to be made.:P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 359 ✭✭messymess


    Heh heh, I wonder did Callely ditch them on the way to the subcommittee who were having the meeting about the meeting that gave him two weeks to explain himself although he already did.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 209 ✭✭babyfratelli_x


    You really went out of your way OP the lest you would expect is a thank you. I know people shouldn't do things becoz they expect to be thanked or rewrded-that's not the point...but it's jus plain rude when people don't even acknowledge the effort that someone has made.

    Although as a plrevious poster suggested maybe whoever had lost sthe envelope had not been aware of the situation etc.

    I always try my best to return stuff... Even in niteclubs, if I'm really drunk I always Hans things into the dj box if I find... Have found 2 Fons and a camera and also the battery from someones camera swell.

    I lose stuff all the time, and really am so grateful when people go to an effort to return thinsgs.


    Usually I don't get a chance to thank peope for things coz I usually either get them at the lost and found at college or once or twice from niteclubs.

    But one time lost my bag, camera and purse separately on a nite in Galway.
    (think I left the bag down when it was open and the other **** fell out)
    anyway, asked at the cloakroom, no bag bt they had my purse. Great!
    Next day my friend gets a msg from some guy sayin I have ur friends bag, picked it up Thoth it was my girl friends, I'll leave it in nuig lost and found.
    Went there picked it up, everything in place except camera
    Guy was decent enough so didn't expect that he had stolen camera and knew purse had fallen out, Thoth same must have happened to camera

    So roll on 2months later I'm a t home in donegal, my friend txt me, I FOUND UR CAMERA IN CASTLEBAR!

    A girl came up to her, said shed found a camera, again Thoth it was her friends and took it home. Recognized my friend from the pix and again said that she would throw it into the lost and found in nuig!

    Couldn't believe my luck and my friend had no idea who she was!

    Never got to say thanks to those people, bt if I could I'd like to let them know how much I appreciate it! :)

    It really is nice to be nice OP don't let a few assholes turn you into one aswell!
    You never know when u really could make someones day! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 209 ✭✭babyfratelli_x


    Btw plese ignore all typos above, I'm typing on a touch screen and have still to get used to it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Cheeky_gal


    Dunjohn wrote: »
    You'll eventually learn to spot the curtain users.


    Lol


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