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Sex before Marriage

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Comments

  • #182
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    ....and if you waited long enough before marriage you'd know the other person was stubborn and unwilling to compromise and thus you have a heads-up that you shouldn't marry them.
    I'm talking about compromise during sex... And if you waiting until marriage then you won't know.
    gbee wrote: »
    Generally, I'm saddened that thread is still showing Psychological problems for our younger people, who, despite being free from the oppression that I was under in my youth, are still deeply disturbed.
    Sorry what?????? :eek::confused::eek::confused:
    gbee wrote: »
    I've never read such black posts. For what should be such a joyous event. Well it is for me, or seeing as I have to wait a week to 'recharge' maybe I'm appreciating it more.
    Black posts? I have no idea what you're talking about now. I think both sides are pro sex, but a lot of people see no reason to get married before they do it.


  • #183
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    steve06 wrote: »
    I'm talking about compromise during sex... And if you waiting until marriage then you won't know..

    Actually you should know. Not difficult to discuss these things.


  • #184
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Novella wrote: »
    Care to back that up? Or did you just pluck that right out of thin air?
    Thin air.
    Jakkass wrote: »
    I'm not doubting you, and I'm sure that there are a small minority of cases like this, but more often than not having both male and female role models right through a child's life is better than not having them.
    Eh, they don't have to be married.
    Jakkass wrote: »
    Marriage and family is really the very centre of society. Parent's are married, and children are born into these families, which often teach them about what values they have, and to bring them up. Then of course these children go on and do the same thing. It is simply the most logical way to organise family.
    There are more important values than marriage. Children are not always born into marriage. Logical way to organise a family? You know families can be happy without being married right?
    Jakkass wrote: »
    This is what I find destructive I guess. The separation of sex from love itself is probably the very reason that marriage is being undermined. It seems that society has gone from repressing sexuality entirely which was a bad thing, to obsessing about it entirely which is a bad thing.
    but sex and love ARE totally different.
    Jakkass wrote: »
    The changes that we've made in viewing sexuality have resulted in children without fathers and in some cases mothers. They've resulted in broken and separated families. It's resulted in the destruction of countless lives.

    What isn't so profoundly real about this?
    Families fall apart disregarding the sexual side of things, and a child without a father or mother is not always going to be screwed up you know.
    prinz wrote: »
    Actually you should know. Not difficult to discuss these things.
    What's that supposed to mean then?


  • #185
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    steve06 wrote: »
    What's that supposed to mean then?

    What does it look like it means? Sex is a topic that is not banned from discussion even in couples who choose to wait until marriage. It's not as if they get to bed on the wedding night and wonder 'now what?'.


  • #186
    Strange Loop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Strange Loop


    Jakkass wrote: »

    The changes that we've made in viewing sexuality have resulted in children without fathers and in some cases mothers. They've resulted in broken and separated families. It's resulted in the destruction of countless lives.

    Many studies show that the environment and stability in a household have more of an effect on how a child turns out. Two parent families don't have an advantage over single parent families in this regard...

    http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/familystability.htm


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  • #187
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    What does it look like it means? Sex is a topic that is not banned from discussion even in couples who choose to wait until marriage. It's not as if they get to bed on the wedding night and wonder 'now what?'.

    It's not a case of 'now what?'. I know of a few people who waited until they got married and the women are boring in the bedroom, it's either choose 1 of 2 positions and that's it. Their husbands slag them over it, and they generally just brush it off and tell them to deal with it. That's hardly a sexually compatible relationship.


  • #188
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Strange Loop wrote: »
    Many studies show that the environment and stability in a household have more of an effect on how a child turns out. Two parent families don't have an advantage over single parent families in this regard...

    http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/familystability.htm

    There are also numerous studies that attest to gender roles in child development, and in the impact that the absence of a mother or a father can have in child development. Indeed, there are numerous publications on it if one takes quick look through Google Scholar.


  • #189
    Matias Uptight Quintessence
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Matias Uptight Quintessence


    This is all assuming everyone plans to get married (or can)...


  • #190
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Jakkass wrote: »
    There are also numerous studies that attest to gender roles in child development, and in the impact that the absence of a mother or a father can have in child development.
    If a couple aren't married the child still has 2 parents. But what's any of this got to do with sex before marriage?


  • #191
    Strange Loop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Strange Loop


    Jakkass wrote: »
    There are also numerous studies that attest to gender roles in child development, and in the impact that the absence of a mother or a father can have in child development. Indeed, there are numerous publications on it if one takes quick look through Google Scholar.

    A positive male or female role model is not always ncessarily the parent.


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  • #192
    AudreyHepburn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭AudreyHepburn


    I have no problem with sex before marriage but I don't believe in sleeping around and am not a fan of casual sex. And it's certainly not the be-all-and-end-all either.

    For me, I need to be with some-one I care about and who cares about me too. I wouldn't like to think the guy I'm with wants only my body because for me it's about more than that.

    And I certainly wouldn't end a relationship because we weren't having sex all day every day either. There are more important things in life IMO/

    That's just my opinion though, if others can feel confident with keeping it purely physical or feel it's more important than anything more power to them.


  • #193
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    We are adults, adults like sex, sex is fun, it's good to have fun, you often have fun with people who have common interests.

    So if you are into no sex before marriage find someone of the same 'ilk' and enjoy the build up to the big day.

    If you enjoy regular sex without being hitched go and find like minded people and ride all round ya!

    There's no right or wrong answer here folks, each to their own!


  • #194
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    steve06 wrote: »
    It's not a case of 'now what?'. I know of a few people who waited until they got married and the women are boring in the bedroom, it's either choose 1 of 2 positions and that's it. Their husbands slag them over it, and they generally just brush it off and tell them to deal with it. That's hardly a sexually compatible relationship.

    Neither does it really have anything to do with waiting until marriage tbh. The same could apply in any relationship. Those people were architects of their own problems. Once again, compatability is something which both partners need to work at, and which can be established prior to saying the I do's.


  • #195
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    steve06 wrote: »
    It's not a case of 'now what?'. I know of a few people who waited until they got married and the women are boring in the bedroom, it's either choose 1 of 2 positions and that's it.

    Yeah I hate woman who will only do either 'reverse cowgirl' or the 'piledriver' :D


  • #196
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    Originally Posted by gbee viewpost.gif
    You'll need to find this out for yourself.

    But I'll give you a hint:
    Sex for men is 90% physical and 10% emotional.
    Sex for Women is 80% emotional and 20% physical.

    Oh dear :o ROFL


  • #197
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    Neither does it really have anything to do with waiting until marriage tbh. The same could apply in any relationship. Those people were architects of their own problems. Once again, compatability is something which both partners need to work at, and which can be established prior to saying the I do's.
    So what? They should make a list of the sexual positions they would be willing to try before getting married, but just not have the sex itself?

    I see...

    I'm not sure how you determine sexual compatibility prior to marriage without actually having sex tbh.


  • #198
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    So what? They should make a list of the sexual positions they would be willing to try before getting married, but just not have the sex itself?

    That's one way to go about it, yes.


  • #199
    AudreyHepburn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭AudreyHepburn


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    So what? They should make a list of the sexual positions they would be willing to try before getting married, but just not have the sex itself?

    I see...

    I'm not sure how you determine sexual compatibility prior to marriage without actually having sex tbh.

    There are other ways of being physically intimate without actually having sex you know ;)

    And there's this nifty little thing called talking. You can learn as much and more about you're partner by discussing things with him/her as you can by sleeping together.


  • #200
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    I'm not sure how you determine sexual compatibility prior to marriage without actually having sex tbh.

    If she will let you jizz on her boobies then you have a 90% sexual compatability rate......:p

    The other 10% can be gained by 'entrance' thru the back door :eek:


  • #201
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    That's one way to go about it, yes.
    Well that's something I like to call retarded. You can talk until you're blue in the balls face but it doesn't really help when you get down to business.


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  • #202
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    So what have we learned from this thread?

    Marriage is good for 'society' and 'children' -

    It involves a lot of blind trust/diagrams and talking and no try before you buy. Hmmm

    So what's in it for the individual?

    Seems to me to be a confidence trick, blind faith beforehand and if disappointed or thwarted after....tough $hit.

    So all in all a total scam and pile of b0ll0x then.


  • #203
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    AudreyHepburn wrote: »
    There are other ways of being physically intimate without actually having sex you know ;)

    I call shenanigans. :pac:
    AudreyHepburn wrote: »
    And there's this nifty little thing called talking. You can learn as much and more about you're partner by discussing things with him/her as you can by sleeping together.

    Yeah, you can learn a lot from a partner by talking, like what their favourite colour is etc. But you can't learn if you're compatible in bed until you actually have sex.


  • #204
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Yeah, you can learn a lot from a partner by talking, like what their favourite colour is etc. But you can't learn if you're compatible in bed until you actually have sex.

    But if ye tell each other what ye both like/dislike in bed before ye start then surely it gives ye a better chance of having a good sex life, no???


  • #205
    Herbal Deity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Herbal Deity


    prinz wrote: »
    Neither does it really have anything to do with waiting until marriage tbh. The same could apply in any relationship. Those people were architects of their own problems. Once again, compatability is something which both partners need to work at, and which can be established prior to saying the I do's.
    I agree in principle with some of what you're saying. Sex in a relationship often gets better as the relationship goes on. This isn't always the case though - mismatched sex drives, levels of open mindedness etc.

    And I don't think you can establish important factors like this through discussion alone. Especially if neither person has ever had sex, or in more extreme cases, never engaged in any sexual activity or ever masturbated before.


  • #206
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    kfallon wrote: »
    But if ye tell each other what ye both like/dislike in bed before ye start then surely it gives ye a better chance of having a good sex life, no???
    Not really. Just because you like the same kind of stuff doesn't mean you're going to be any good at it.

    For instance, a girl could say the thought of giving a BJ turns her on. Great! Until she actually does it and realizes it's not all it's cracked up to be.


  • #207
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    kfallon wrote: »
    But if ye tell each other what ye both like/dislike in bed before ye start then surely it gives ye a better chance of having a good sex life, no???

    No. Bodies have to fit together well and react together well. How many times would you see some ride in a nighclub only to snog him and find he kisses like a washing machine.

    There is no way to find out if you are sexually compatible other than ....er....'suck it and see'...as they say in the world of corporate b0ll0xology.


  • #208
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Jaysus it's only a ride ffs!

    When you come, you go!!!


  • #209
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    I'd love to see how it would work out to make a compilation of your favourite porn and sit down with your future wife who you wont have sex with and say "Now, this is what I want to do to you! how do you feel about that?"


  • #210
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Well that's something I like to call retarded. You can talk until you're blue in the balls face but it doesn't really help when you get down to business.

    Is this from your own extensive experience of waiting until marriage then yeah?


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  • #211
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Not really. Just because you like the same kind of stuff doesn't mean you're going to be any good at it..

    Practice, practice! ;)


This discussion has been closed.
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