Sex before Marriage

starlit

What is your opinion on this? Do you think its a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm all for it but under certain circumstances....Best to have some kind of compatibility with a partner in that aspect and be in some kind of relationship. So would like to get your own take on this probably drawn out topic that has overshadowed our somewherewhat prudish country!?

Yakult

You gotta have a test drive before ya buy!

Ruu_Old

Go to confession with those impure thoughts! :mad:

alwaysadub

Wouldn't fancy it myself to be honest. You can be totally incompatible with someone in bed. Wouldn't like to wait till my wedding night to find that out.
Sex isn't the be all and end all, but it would be a big part of it.

Sinfonia

Ridiculous and arcane.

Edit: Waiting until marriage, that is.

AskMyChocolate

I'm never having sex if it leads down that road.

cute_cow

fecking hell, have been with bf for 8 years, no way I was until i get married! Wud still be waiting.
i agree with R_H_C_P try before you sign your life away! (not a big beleiver in marriage either).

Brendog

you say it as if theres any sex AFTER marriage

Max Power1

sex before marriage - yes.

As there is no sex after marriage and i didnt want to die a virgin

Dudess

There's no benefit whatsoever to waiting until marriage. The only valid reason I can think of is religious grounds.

El Horseboxo

I'd be riding every night if i could. Same girl, different girl, whatever. Some people put sex on too high a pedestal.

Hogzy

No sex before marriage is a theory that was designed in a culture where people got married at 18.

Not in todays world. Ya havnt lived till you've had an STD

ctrl-alt-delete

El Horseboxo wrote: »

I'd be riding every night if i could. Same girl, different girl, whatever. Some people put sex on too high a pedestal.

And thats why low lifes like me don't get it

Dudess

El Horseboxo wrote: »

I'd be riding every night if i could. Same girl, different girl, whatever. Some people put sex on too high a pedestal.

At the same time though, some people prefer it only with someone they really care about and wouldn't be into casual sex - I don't think that's putting it on a pedestal, just personal preference.

Hazys

I'm shocked that this is a serious question in modern Ireland.

starlit

Sinfonia wrote: »

Ridiculous and arcane.



Edit: Waiting until marriage, that is.

I was seriously considering waiting till marriage but I knew that would be impossible! There are very few men out there that would more girls though are likely to wait till then. I am happy to wait but not till marriage though! You might get very unhappy if the sex after marraige isn't what its cracked up to be! fair enough to believe in the santimony of marriage and wait to have sex then but there is such a thing as keeping yourself happy though whatever your decision! Best to have tried and not have tried at all! Sex is a need like food, drink, clothes, shelter etc Sex is part of a person whether they engage in it or not! I do have my reservations having kids outside wedlock I'd rather see it happening to those in there 20s or older than to happen to those in their teens as its the toughest job anyone would have to do is rearing children! Contraception is all you need!
Sex is suppose to be enjoyable not a scarifice!

Dudess

snuggles285 wrote: »

our somewhat prudish country

I don't think that's the case anymore.

thetonynator

Dudess wrote: »

There's no benefit whatsoever to waiting until marriage. The only valid reason I can think of is religious grounds.

Thats a valid reason??

Mike 1972

I thought people only got married when they started getting bored having sex ?

(with each other)

Hogzy wrote: »

No sex before marriage is a theory that was designed in a culture where people got married at 18.

18 ??? TBH in those days one was almost considered to be on the shelf by that age. (Of course over life expectancy was lower too)

mojesius

Don't really plan on getting married - unless a lot of booze, gambling chips and an Elvis impersonator are involved.

The Big Red Button

snuggles285 wrote: »

What is your opinion on this? Do you think its a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm all for it but under certain circumstances....Best to have some kind of compatibility with a partner in that aspect and be in some kind of relationship. So would like to get your own take on this probably drawn out topic that has overshadowed our somewherewhat prudish country!?

This might have been an interesting debate around 30-40 years ago, when there was a bit of taboo around the issue of sex before marriage. But I can't imagine there are enough on the "no" side - particularly in AH - to make it a topic worth even discussing in this day and age.

For the record, I'm on the "hell yeah" side, but then again marriage isn't all that important to me anyways.

KTRIC

You're all going to hell !!! :rolleyes:

Dudess

thetonynator wrote: »

Thats a valid reason??

Maybe not to you or I, but to the person who is e.g. a devout christian it is.

starlit

Dudess wrote: »

I don't think that's the case anymore.

ah maybe your right there! but ireland is kinda prudish in comparison to other countries like holland, england, some european countries. What I love about holland is that the culture and people are so open minded in comparision to some irish folk! obviously people don't believe in sex before marriage due to religious reasons which is not really much a of a valid reason unless you are fridgit or you are in the holy order! I am utterly surprised that priests and nuns cannot marry in this day in age!

orourkeda

You cant bait a biha pussy

Max Power1

orourkeda wrote: »

You cant bait a biha pussy

oh wow - a fish joke!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Anyways it's not sex before marriage if you don't plan on getting married

gbee

A point touched earlier is one I tend to agree with.

The age girls get married today is frankly ridiculous. Keeping sex for marriage is not necessarily a bad thing, but as mentioned already, girls would be married quite young, 17/18 years of age not being uncommon.

Today the girl is over thirty but has three children and been with BF for 12 or more years already. A lifetime already and only a sanctimonious difference ~ might as well have had your Cinderella Wedding, when you were young and beautiful.

As for marriage break up, all circumstances have their share breakups, but the instants of those long term relationships with families getting married at a mature age have a high failure rate soon thereafter.

If you've been with the guy for more than a year, it's time to get married and enjoy the adventure. If you've had several children already, and been with your BF over ten years ~ DON'T waste time and money, stay living together.

Mike 1972

Perhaps in the days before reliable contraception there may have been some half arsed logic behind premarital chastity although history seems to suggest It wasnt widely practised even then.

In most societies prostitution seems to have been pretty rampant too.

thetonynator

Valentin Obedient Goose-step wrote: »

Anyways it's not sex before marriage of you don't plan on getting married

The fact that that pist has been thanked by someone called ''cheap thrills'' makes it quite a bit funnier. :pac:

El Horseboxo

Dudess wrote: »

At the same time though, some people prefer it only with someone they really care about and wouldn't be into casual sex - I don't think that's putting it on a pedestal, just personal preference.

The some people i'm talking about are the types who would call me a man whore over a one night stand. Or a girl a slut. It's more than just personal preference when you become vocal about it.

IvySlayer

Men who never have sex shouldn't be telling other people when to have sex.

Brendog

Hazys wrote: »

I'm shocked that this is a serious question in modern Ireland.

Its hardly serious.......it was posted in After Hours

Velocitee

gbee wrote: »

Today the girl is over thirty but has three children and been with BF for 12 or more years already. A lifetime already and only a sanctimonious difference ~ might as well have had your Cinderella Wedding, when you were young and beautiful.

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If you've been with the guy for more than a year, it's time to get married and enjoy the adventure. If you've had several children already, and been with your BF over ten years ~ DON'T waste time and money, stay living together.

I'd agree with this too, tbh I think 12 years of it not on the cards is a bit ridiculous (albeit for financial reasons,) which leads me on to my next point -

Weddings are TOO expensive!!!! I know in my case OH wants the Cinderella wedding (let's be honest it's her day) - that leaves an outlay of at least 15 to 25 grand - we'll be saving for that for a while, maybe take a small loan and that's AFTER I've saved and gotten her dream engagement ring (3 grand should cover that.).

Then if you were to buy a house after, deposit for that...

We are 'living in sin' but that's only due to the fact to go down the traditional route, we'd be waiting years!!! (no kids btw, planned for AFTER marriage, touch wood.)

Dudess

snuggles285 wrote: »

ireland is kinda prudish in comparison to other countries like holland, england, some european countries. What I love about holland is that the culture and people are so open minded in comparision to some irish folk! obviously people don't believe in sex before marriage due to religious reasons which is not really much a of a valid reason unless you are fridgit or you are in the holy order!

Well some religions forbid sex before marriage, so it's only in compliance with that - I wouldn't say it makes the person a frigid.
I also wouldn't agree Ireland is more prudish, just perhaps more sexually immature - it's all bawdiness and innuendos and seaside postcard humour here, whereas e.g. in Sweden it's something to be grown-up about. I dunno... I kinda prefer the bawdy Irish/British take... :pac:

El Horseboxo wrote: »

The some people i'm talking about are the types who would call me a man whore over a one night stand. Or a girl a slut. It's more than just personal preference when you become vocal about it.

Oh yeah, to some, sex is more of a recreational thing, and that's also just personal preference and not something to be criticised.

Bonito

Brendog wrote: »

Its hardly serious.......it was posted in After Hours

Yeah, we're all just mindless fúckwitts in here and love taking the piss and talking shíte in absolutely every single thread. Sure it's the only way to do things round here.

We're not capable of serious discussion. It's frowned upon. Take your high IQ's and sensible opinions and arguments elsewhere thank you very much, we don't want it here. None of that jazz for us, boyo.

Dudess

gbee wrote: »

The age girls get married today is frankly ridiculous.

What's ridiculous about it?

Today the girl is over thirty but has three children and been with BF for 12 or more years already. A lifetime already and only a sanctimonious difference ~ might as well have had your Cinderella Wedding, when you were young and beautiful.

Lol - obviously you're just a kid if you think a woman can't be beautiful at 30.

If you've been with the guy for more than a year, it's time to get married and enjoy the adventure.

It is?

If you've had several children already, and been with your BF over ten years ~ DON'T waste time and money, stay living together.

Why do you give a sh1t? And surely it depends on the individual couple rather than a bunch of rules you personally feel should be ascribed to all?

Velocitee wrote: »

Weddings are TOO expensive!!!!

Depends on the type of wedding you have.

I know in my case OH wants the Cinderella wedding (let's be honest it's her day)

I'd have thought it's both your day?

Fizman

There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:

The Big Red Button

Fizman wrote: »

There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:

See I don't see why his family's beliefs should have anything to do with his sex life! Surely they shouldn't even know what he is/isn't up to ... if he tells them, that's just creepy!

Dudess

My cousin who's a fairly devout catholic was with her boyfriend nearly eight years before they got married - she didn't manage to hold out til their wedding night, but the lad was waiting a long, long, long time... :pac:

Bonito

One of my friends has a new GF. They're having sex but when it comes to night time she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If she's staying in his she'll insist on a mattress on his bedroom floor. It ends up with him on the floor and her in his bed.

The mind boggles.

starlit

Fizman wrote: »

There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:

really!...ya if you come from a family that have strong beliefs of no sex before marriage that is likely to be drilled into them!

Think the idea of it is ridiculous. Probably places too much pressure on a couple to marry as well

Velocitee

Dudess wrote: »

Depends on the type of wedding you have.

I should have clarified - I meant a traditional 'oirish' white wedding + reception is too expensive.

Dudess wrote: »

I'd have thought it's both your day?

Me too but 90% of it revolves around the bride and what she wants. That's just the way it is (and equality or no equality, and regardless of what you or I think, that's just the way it is.)

Dudess

Bonito wrote: »

One of my friends has a new GF. They're having sex but when it comes to night time she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If she's staying in his she'll insist on a mattress on his bedroom floor. It ends up with him on the floor and her in his bed.

The mind boggles.

Is that arrangement maybe just for post-coital sleeping though?

Bonito

snuggles285 wrote: »

really!...yaif you come from a family that have strong beliefs of no sex before marriage that is likely to be drilled into them!

Selective reading FTW.

Dudess

Velocitee wrote: »

Me too but 90% of it revolves around the bride and what she wants. That's just the way it is (and equality or no equality, and regardless of what you or I think, that's just the way it is.)

I disagree - not having a go at you, but I think letting a wedding revolve around the woman is a choice the couple (or one of them) makes, not simply the way it is.

Bonito

Dudess wrote: »

Is that arrangement maybe just for post-coital sleeping though?

That's pretty much it. They're still in that "Honeymoon stage" in their relationship. They'll see each other 3 or 4 times a week and they'll have sex once or twice a day and then when it comes to the weekend and if she's staying over she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If they have sex before they go to sleep then one of them gets out of the bed and on to the floor and they sleep seperately.

Bonito

Bonito wrote: »

That's pretty much it. They're still in that "Honeymoon stage" in their relationship. They'll see each other 3 or 4 times a week and they'll have sex once or twice a day and then when it comes to the weekend and if she's staying over she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If they have sex before they go to sleep then one of them gets out of the bed and on to the floor and they sleep seperately.

Some people just can't share, too warm or need to stretch or whatever

Bonito

bluewolf wrote: »

Some people just can't share, too warm or need to stretch or whatever

That's just mean! :mad: If you're too warm then nekkid spoons and no blankies FTW!

genericguy

Bonito wrote: »

That's just mean! :mad: If you're too warm then nekkid spoons and no blankies FTW!

or just stay awake and have more secks!

i'd love that, "right, no cuddling bollox, i'm off to me own bed". Niiiice.