Chat Down Lines

MitchKoobski · 23-07-2010 04:26PM #1

Chat Up lines don't seem to be working for me anymore. Instead I'm going to just be mean to women and ridicule them because then they will love me and come back to my place in a moments notice.* That being said, I don't have much material to go on. All I've got so far are these. Any suggestion welcome. I figure I'll get more of the responses I need here rather than PI.....

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"
"Not as much as you, ya mess."

"Did you fall from above?"
"Because you look like a dead bird."

"Did you fall from heaven?"
"Because your face is pretty ****ed up."

*Subject to confidence and level of drink

genericguy · 23-07-2010 04:27PM

"Did you put your make up on with a hammer love?"

bronte · 23-07-2010 04:27PM

If I throw a stick will you leave? :pac:

Anyone · 23-07-2010 04:28PM

"I'd give you one"

When she shoots you down say

"Out of 10"

i.need.a.job · 23-07-2010 04:28PM

Can I have your sisters number

dr.bollocko · 23-07-2010 04:28PM

Hi. I'm a moderator on one of Ireland's busiest internet forums.

GrizzlyMan · 23-07-2010 04:29PM

"Do you eat grass?"

reply: "no"

"Well your the first cow i ever saw that doesnt"

genericguy · 23-07-2010 04:29PM

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Hi. I'm a moderator on one of Ireland's busiest internet forums.

is that how you managed to woo the beautiful lafawnduh, mr dynamite?

Kiith · 23-07-2010 04:30PM

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Hi. I'm a moderator on one of Ireland's busiest internet forums.

This works on me

Greyfox · 23-07-2010 04:31PM

You happened to catch my eye so I thought I'd pop over and tell you that you look like you were on fire and people put the fire out with baseball bats :pac:

starlit · 23-07-2010 04:31PM

those are really bad chat up lines...way down down down the line!

The_Kew_Tour · 23-07-2010 04:32PM

Im well big;);)

Boom Boom

smash · 23-07-2010 04:34PM

"How do you like your eggs in the morning"
"unfertilised"
"that's ok, I'll just cum on your face"

"Your father must be a thief"
"because he must have stolen the stars from the sky bla bla - worst chat up ever"
"eh no, because you look like a pikey"

Cypher_sounds · 23-07-2010 04:35PM

Ooh you're doing that even better than your mom lady!

genericguy · 23-07-2010 04:37PM

"your face would make an onion cry"

MitchKoobski · 23-07-2010 04:37PM

snuggles285 wrote: »

those are really bad chat up lines...way down down down the line!

That's sort of the point....

MitchKoobski · 23-07-2010 04:39PM

Greyfox wrote: »

You happened to catch my eye so I thought I'd pop over and tell you that you look like you were on fire and people put the fire out with baseball bats :pac:

Reminds me of the line "She looks like her mother set her face on fire and her father put it out with a baseball bat."

Anyone · 23-07-2010 04:40PM

You:"Do you have a pen?"
Him/Her:"Yes"
You: "Does the farmer know you are out of it?"

Fizman · 23-07-2010 04:55PM

"Do you like to dance"?
"Eh, like ya".
"Right, well fcuk off over onto the dance floor so I can talk to your friend".

eightyfish · 23-07-2010 04:56PM

Friend of mine was chatting up a girl.
Another friend approached them "Ah, what's the story Rapey I haven't seen you in ages!"

derfderf · 23-07-2010 04:58PM

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird"

23-07-2010 05:00PM

My own personal favourite:

"Is your dad a baker? 'cause it looks like you've got a bun in the oven"

"Are you Jamaican? 'cause Jamaican me pissed off, so f*ck off"

Fizman · 23-07-2010 05:05PM

derfderf wrote: »

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird"

Or...

"You don't smell too bad for a bird who looks like she smells like sh1t."

George Orwell 1982 · 23-07-2010 05:22PM

You look like you've just been hit by a train.

Celly Smunt · 23-07-2010 05:22PM

you look a million dollars tonight baby
all green and crinkly

23-07-2010 06:17PM

with a face that good
your dick must be tiny

Dman001 · 23-07-2010 06:34PM

To a Ginger:

"Do you read"
"Yeah"
"Have you read Pubes"
"Yeah"
".......Right"
*Walks off*

M5 · 23-07-2010 07:24PM

"You look like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"

BluesBerry · 23-07-2010 07:30PM

Hey, Your cool baby

Reply: Yeah Your not so hot yourself

Smeggy · 23-07-2010 08:11PM

You're a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and your butt smells and you like to kiss your own butt..

spider_pig · 23-07-2010 08:18PM

:cool: sorry love not interested you've a face like a well chewed toffee

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+0][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"Earth is full. Go home." [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+0][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Nice perfume, but did you have to marinate in it?[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

Do they ever shut up on your planet?[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+0][FONT=Arial,Helvetica] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They'd all like to throw you down one...

Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception

I hear you're connected to the Police Department - by a pair of handcuffs...

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

I heard when you were a child your Mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don't have the film.

You're about as good lookin as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Pitbull Terrier..

Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?

Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!

You're the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.

I'd like to leave you with one thought...unfortunately I ain't sure you have anywhere to put it!

Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Excuse me, is that your nose, or are you eating a Banana?

When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?

You're so bent you make roundabouts look straight!

I've seen better hands on a leper!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! :cool:

Chat Down Lines

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