Can men and women ever just be friends?

Bolag_the_2nd · 22-07-2010 01:54PM

RobbieTheRobber wrote: »

I dont mean to pick on you bolag, but yours was the last post that said something like this.

If you get along and have sex and will, isnt that that relationship a little more than friendship?

I think once you throw sex into the mix its not really just a friendship anymore there is something else there.

1. You can get all along.
2. You have sexual chemistry (surely if you have sex and will again there must be)

Those seem to me to be the two main elements most people seek in a relationship.

No we are just best friends.

He has his life and I have mine.

he is there for me as a woman would be, but instead of swapping clothes and gorging out on icecream, when one of us needs comfort, or is just horney, we get it on.

It has never changed the friendship of 26 years.

I trust him and he knows everything about me as I do him.

Of course we have chemestry, but it took years to build that.

Again what can I say...... We are adults

ElaElaElano · 22-07-2010 02:00PM

I've always had more female than male friends, right the way from primary school, had no male figure in the house growing up, and now live with two girls. Consequently, I've lost the instinctive ability to mentally undress a woman, or put sex before a longstanding friendship.

In before the ghey, ghey, ghey, ghey...ghey

kfallon · 22-07-2010 02:03PM

ElaElaElano wrote: »

Consequently, I've lost the instinctive ability to mentally undress a woman

Christ, must make rubbing one out pretty tough!!!

Greyfox · 22-07-2010 02:05PM

They can but it's very, very rare because men think of sex so often theirs always the risk of the guy at some point considering wheter or not they would hypotetically shag their female friend and theirs always a risk that one can become attracted to the other

smash · 22-07-2010 02:50PM

SirDarren wrote: »

Why does everyone think it destroys a friendship?

Depends how disrespectful you are in the sack I suppose

Banned Account · 22-07-2010 03:22PM

1) Yes, I have male/female friends = I am/they are ugly/gay - delete as applicable.

2) I had sex with my friend once and now we're still friends = he/she was really ****e in the sack - what a let down.

or

I don't want to say anything bad here because he/she never got over it and stalks me on boards.

3) No, it's not possible = I'm a man, I will try to ride them - that is my lot in life

or

I am a woman, he will try to ride me - that is his lot in life

DB10 · 22-07-2010 03:30PM

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

As long as there is no sexual attraction then of course friends is possible - the problem is finding a member of the opposite sex that has enough qualities to warrant a friendship yet which you don't find attractive. Certainly possible, though I imagine there are more friends harbouring a secret crush than would want to let on. :cool:

Yep spot on. Unless you grew up with them maybe it would be easier, but still not quite easy.

Very hard to find these "friends", generally happens by chance...

Keogg · 22-07-2010 03:38PM

Kiera wrote: »

Yes of course. One of my best mates is a bloke.

Same here, and in fact, I've even more male friends than female.
It's easy.:)

prinz · 22-07-2010 03:45PM

Yes they can be.

Also to say it's impossible if there is sexual attraction between the two is nonsense IMO. You can find someone sexually attractive and be happy to be 'just' friends with them. A couple of my friends would be very sexually attractive, I can admit that. However they are friends, not potential sexual partners. It IS possible to be friends with someone you also find physically attractive.

Zen65 · 22-07-2010 04:09PM

biko wrote: »

Our hypothetical questions are more along the lines of "Can you put a V12 in a Ford Fiesta?" or "Can you live on just Guinness and oranges?"

What if there were no more hypothetical questions?

Be at peace,

Z

22-07-2010 04:15PM

Most of my friends are guys. I don't know if they want to have sex with me...but I wouldn't so whatever. HA!

stovelid · 22-07-2010 04:18PM

Of course.

DaMagooster · 22-07-2010 04:23PM

No way man, all guys fancy to some degree their girl friends

bronte · 22-07-2010 04:30PM

Course they can...some of my closest friends are guys.

Guys are great to hang out with...once there's beer and food in supply they're happy as pigs in sh!t!

Zen65 · 22-07-2010 04:33PM

I think I have more female friends than male friends. Some are very attractive and I am aware of this but it doesn't unduly distract me. At times I may even admire their form/dress/eyes/lips/shoes/jewellery/hair but I never dwell on it, and I never de-personalise them by thinking about them sexually out of context. In my fantasy moments I can imagine myself "with" Catherine Zeta Jones, but never "with" these female friends....that would be too weird.

My wife was one of those friends, though, many years ago. Eventually one day I realised that this was more than friendship, and so did she (not the same day though). But my other friendships have not given rise to such feelings. Even if they did, such feelings would probably be brief and quickly dissipate once I chose not to act on them, and the friendship would continue.

As an aside, I practice martial arts, and in any meeting with friends (male or female) I often consider somewhere at the back of my mind how I might strike them (from where I am standing or sitting) in order to incapacitate them. Such thoughts are also just passing, they amuse me during the quieter moments of being with people. Such ideas do not interfere on my friendships, so why would any sexual thoughts do so? It's simply a matter of not dwelling on these thoughts.

Bottom line: Friends, male or female - I don't hit them & I don't screw them.

Be at peace,

Z

Banned Account · 22-07-2010 04:36PM

Zen65 wrote: »

I In my fantasy moments I can imagine myself "with" Catherine Zeta Jones, but never "with" these female friends....that would be too weird...My wife was one of those friends

Are you Michael Douglas?

caseyann · 22-07-2010 04:43PM

Without a doubt no.

Zen65 · 22-07-2010 04:49PM

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

Are you Michael Douglas?

Don't ruin my fantasies with real-life facts!! Next you'll tell me Marilyn Monroe is dead??

Be at peace,

Z

vonnie10 · 22-07-2010 06:05PM

Absolutely, most of my very best friends are male, i always confide in my male friends quicker than my female friends. I just trust them more not to gossip and find they're better listeners, also they are way more honest with me (probably because they are not as tactful as my female friends) but i prefer this. some of my male friends after a few too many have hit on me but it doesn't mean we can't still be friends, i know what lads are like its ten to two and i'm the only female around, its not cos they fancy me so i just laugh it off and its like nothing ever happened. Also i enjoy the banter of the lads,cos lets be honest lads are funnier than girls, guys and gals can definitely just be friends!!!

DB10 · 22-07-2010 07:09PM

I love the way so many are coming in telling of all their close friends with the opposite sex and how they can be.

That's only half the story isn't it. We don't know how they feel about you and neither do you by the looks of things. They could easily just be hiding their true feelings.

bonerm · 23-07-2010 11:40AM

DB10 wrote: »

I love the way so many are coming in telling of all their close friends with the opposite sex and how they can be.

That's only half the story isn't it. We don't know how they feel about you and neither do you by the looks of things. They could easily just be hiding their true feelings.

And on the flip side of that point these same authors aren't offering up whether they're munters who'd as a result be automatically off the other persons radar anyway.

Elenxor · 23-07-2010 01:34PM

Then there's the guy who has a friend "who happens to be a girl" and she is there, all the time, turning up when he is out with girls, being all sweetness and light and being condescending, "Oh!, if you knew him like I know him"

Just die! why don't ya!!!

Can men and women ever just be friends?

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