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Things you wish you didn't say?

  • 21-07-2010 01:07AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭


    Like the time I was sitting down with some gay friends and they were passing remarks on someone we all knew, I blurted out"he's a big gay bastard" took a few minutes to cop what I just said, and by then it was too late for backtracking.

    So well, when have you dropped your 2 big stupid feet straight in it???


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    Stopping half-way through sex to ask was tomorrow bin day was not a popular one I can tell ya.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    limp like a baby rabbits ears:(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    ...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Heard of a guy pointing to a woman's sleeping baby and saying "Oh I'd love to be doing that right now... ;)" except the baby wasn't sleeping, (s)he was being breastfed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    I saw it, Starbelgrade... :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Dudess wrote: »
    Heard of a guy pointing to a woman's sleeping baby and saying "Oh I'd love to be doing that right now... ;)" except the baby wasn't sleeping, (s)he was being breastfed.

    This is some camogie lesbian gaa flick you've just seen in the art house cinema right?

    Edit: How did you know it was a he? Was it cause he was sucking on boobies?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,458 ✭✭✭Dartz


    Posting "I just ****ing hate fags" on a a board where most of the mod's where American, and one them was gay.

    The topic for discussion was cigarettes... and I had fun explaining that case of cultural dissonance to just about everyone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    ...

    ....Daddy or Chips?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Accidentally said "dont look at me like that" to a cross eyed guy once


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    Keithm89 wrote: »
    Accidentally said "dont look at me like that" to a cross eyed guy once


    He probably wasn't even looking at you.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    He probably wasn't even looking at you.
    He's so cross-eyed, when I put my dick in his mouth, he says "One at a time!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,836 ✭✭✭Sir Gallagher


    A chap i used to work with in a bar a few years ago was serving one of the regulars who came in one night with a shaved head, so he says to him

    "Hahaha the head on you, what happened did you lose a bet"

    to which the reply was

    "No Dave, I have cancer"

    Ouch.. the bloke in question survived, so all's well that ends well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭ElaElaElano


    The other day, got to Connolly station, and of course there's bars for your ticket, went up to the lad at the side to explain I'd forgotten to pay, but would pay him for my ticket there and then. Now I got on in Sandycove, but the train itself was one of those commuter ones and had come up from Rosslare...God only knows why...but when he said, "yeah no worries, where are you travelling from", I said "Rosslare...no sorry, the Rosslare train" and he goes, "ah now I heard you the first time, that'll be €22.50". Should have cost me €1.75 or something...what kind of a fúcking eejit am I?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    He's so cross-eyed gay, when I put my dick in his mouth, he says "One at a time!"


    FYP, I assume thats what you meant anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    what kind of a fúcking eejit am I?

    On the Fcuking edjit scale about a 10, on a scale of 1 to 9!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    FYP, I assume thats what you meant anyway.

    Ahh ****, I said stuff I didn't meant to say again.
    Goes home to spank myself with banana.
    Ahh ****, I did it again!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,838 ✭✭✭✭3hn2givr7mx1sc


    Ahh ****, I said stuff I didn't meant to say again.
    Goes home to spank myself with banana.
    Ahh ****, I did it again!

    How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    baz2009 wrote: »
    How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?

    All of it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,506 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    baz2009 wrote: »
    How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?

    2 gypsies, 4 bruinettes & 3 vodka's


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 st_andalou


    At funerals I always end up saying "How are you?" to the family of the bereaved.

    I know it's stupid, and I don't know why I always do it. I just find it so awkward when you're shaking hands and giving condolences.

    Mostly they just look at me like I'm crazy and mutter, "Fine". One woman just said, "Eh, how do you think I am? I'm not good!" I don't blame her. Now if I'm ever at a funeral the only thing running through my mind is, "Don't say how are you, don't say how are you, don't say how are you."


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    me and 2 lads sittin at the table at a party(everyone else in other room), one of my mates had disappeared off with his girlfriend. one guy at the table asked where my mate was and I said he's probably upstairs ridin the hole off her. one guy looks over at me with a straight face and tells me the guy beside me is my mates girlfriends brother. his face looked like he was holding back a furious rage.
    that was pretty awkward

    or makin a joke about down syndrome people and it turns out 1 girl in the car has a sister with down syndrome which i didnt know about


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 359 ✭✭Tallaght Saint


    st_andalou wrote: »
    At funerals I always end up saying "How are you?" to the family of the bereaved.

    I know it's stupid, and I don't know why I always do it. I just find it so awkward when you're shaking hands and giving condolences.

    Mostly they just look at me like I'm crazy and mutter, "Fine". One woman just said, "Eh, how do you think I am? I'm not good!" I don't blame her. Now if I'm ever at a funeral the only thing running through my mind is, "Don't say how are you, don't say how are you, don't say how are you."
    How are you? :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    Goodbye.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭Hank_Jones


    Once made a slightly off the cuff remark about foreigners.

    Not racist or prejudiced or that, just a sort of ''bloody foreigners'' remark.

    Lo and behold, I was standing there with a Romanian and a Lithuanian.
    There was an Irish guy there as well, but that didn't really matter.

    Young and stupid.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,718 ✭✭✭upandcumming


    Was tipsy one night in college and I was being hassled by security guards for ages.
    Eventually when I got back to the apartment, I walk in giving out about how security guards are useless idiots etc etc. I don't let anyone defend them by talking over them and shouting. When I'm finished after about 5 mins, one of the lads pipes up
    "My dad is a security guard." Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccck!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,101 ✭✭✭MitchKoobski


    *I was in a very sulky mood at the time, having been gloriously rejected the night before*
    Friend: "Haha you were sleeping alone last night anyway after that. No women for Mitch eh?"
    Me: "Nah I just slept with your mother instead.:mad:"
    Friend: "Gonna be hard when she's dead."
    Me: ":("

    This has happened at least 3 times.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15 fififidlesticks


    At work in a busy pub one sunday asked man with one arm if he needed a hand with the tray. Eek! Was the one thing i was tellin myself not say! Stupid stupid stupid. Still get embarrassed about it. :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 412 ✭✭Hackysack


    I have an awful, reflex like habit of saying stuff like 'So's your ma' at certain occasions.

    I consistently (not deliberately!!!) keep saying it to one friend whose mother died recently...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭xxchloexx


    Was at a friends party and seen a girl i hadn't seen in a while , I knew she was pregnant wasn't sure how long she had left though , so i strike up a conversation with her and ask "god you're getting really big now when are ya due" she just looks at me in disgust and says "I thought i looked well tonight ... I had the baby 3 weeks ago" ****ttttttttttt..


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,899 ✭✭✭coughlan08


    *I was in a very sulky mood at the time, having been gloriously rejected the night before*
    Friend: "Haha you were sleeping alone last night anyway after that. No women for Mitch eh?"
    Me: "Nah I just slept with your mother instead.:mad:"
    Friend: "Gonna be hard when she's dead."
    Me: ":("

    This has happened at least 3 times.

    so why keep doing it,in fairness like.:rolleyes:


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