Things you wish you didn't say?

drunkmonkey

Like the time I was sitting down with some gay friends and they were passing remarks on someone we all knew, I blurted out"he's a big gay bastard" took a few minutes to cop what I just said, and by then it was too late for backtracking.

So well, when have you dropped your 2 big stupid feet straight in it???

SoupyNorman

Stopping half-way through sex to ask was tomorrow bin day was not a popular one I can tell ya.

drunkmonkey

limp like a baby rabbits ears:(

starbelgrade

...

Dudess

Heard of a guy pointing to a woman's sleeping baby and saying "Oh I'd love to be doing that right now... " except the baby wasn't sleeping, (s)he was being breastfed.

Dudess

I saw it, Starbelgrade... :pac:

drunkmonkey

Dudess wrote: »

Heard of a guy pointing to a woman's sleeping baby and saying "Oh I'd love to be doing that right now... " except the baby wasn't sleeping, (s)he was being breastfed.

This is some camogie lesbian gaa flick you've just seen in the art house cinema right?

Edit: How did you know it was a he? Was it cause he was sucking on boobies?

Dartz

Posting "I just ****ing hate fags" on a a board where most of the mod's where American, and one them was gay.

The topic for discussion was cigarettes... and I had fun explaining that case of cultural dissonance to just about everyone.

drunkmonkey

starbelgrade wrote: »

...

....Daddy or Chips?

KeithM89_old

Accidentally said "dont look at me like that" to a cross eyed guy once

SoupyNorman

Keithm89 wrote: »

Accidentally said "dont look at me like that" to a cross eyed guy once

He probably wasn't even looking at you.

drunkmonkey

SoupyNorman wrote: »

He probably wasn't even looking at you.

He's so cross-eyed, when I put my dick in his mouth, he says "One at a time!"

Sir Gallagher

A chap i used to work with in a bar a few years ago was serving one of the regulars who came in one night with a shaved head, so he says to him

"Hahaha the head on you, what happened did you lose a bet"

to which the reply was

"No Dave, I have cancer"

Ouch.. the bloke in question survived, so all's well that ends well.

ElaElaElano

The other day, got to Connolly station, and of course there's bars for your ticket, went up to the lad at the side to explain I'd forgotten to pay, but would pay him for my ticket there and then. Now I got on in Sandycove, but the train itself was one of those commuter ones and had come up from Rosslare...God only knows why...but when he said, "yeah no worries, where are you travelling from", I said "Rosslare...no sorry, the Rosslare train" and he goes, "ah now I heard you the first time, that'll be €22.50". Should have cost me €1.75 or something...what kind of a fúcking eejit am I?

SoupyNorman

drunkmonkey wrote: »

He's so cross-eyed gay, when I put my dick in his mouth, he says "One at a time!"

FYP, I assume thats what you meant anyway.

drunkmonkey

ElaElaElano wrote: »

what kind of a fúcking eejit am I?

On the Fcuking edjit scale about a 10, on a scale of 1 to 9!

drunkmonkey

SoupyNorman wrote: »

FYP, I assume thats what you meant anyway.

Ahh ****, I said stuff I didn't meant to say again.

Goes home to spank myself with banana.
Ahh ****, I did it again!

3hn2givr7mx1sc

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ahh ****, I said stuff I didn't meant to say again.

Goes home to spank myself with banana.
Ahh ****, I did it again!

How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?

starbelgrade

baz2009 wrote: »

How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?

All of it.

drunkmonkey

baz2009 wrote: »

How much drink would a drunk monkey drink if a drunk monkey could drink drink?

2 gypsies, 4 bruinettes & 3 vodka's

st_andalou

At funerals I always end up saying "How are you?" to the family of the bereaved.

I know it's stupid, and I don't know why I always do it. I just find it so awkward when you're shaking hands and giving condolences.

Mostly they just look at me like I'm crazy and mutter, "Fine". One woman just said, "Eh, how do you think I am? I'm not good!" I don't blame her. Now if I'm ever at a funeral the only thing running through my mind is, "Don't say how are you, don't say how are you, don't say how are you."

kumate_champ07

me and 2 lads sittin at the table at a party(everyone else in other room), one of my mates had disappeared off with his girlfriend. one guy at the table asked where my mate was and I said he's probably upstairs ridin the hole off her. one guy looks over at me with a straight face and tells me the guy beside me is my mates girlfriends brother. his face looked like he was holding back a furious rage.
that was pretty awkward

or makin a joke about down syndrome people and it turns out 1 girl in the car has a sister with down syndrome which i didnt know about

Tallaght Saint

st_andalou wrote: »

At funerals I always end up saying "How are you?" to the family of the bereaved.

I know it's stupid, and I don't know why I always do it. I just find it so awkward when you're shaking hands and giving condolences.

Mostly they just look at me like I'm crazy and mutter, "Fine". One woman just said, "Eh, how do you think I am? I'm not good!" I don't blame her. Now if I'm ever at a funeral the only thing running through my mind is, "Don't say how are you, don't say how are you, don't say how are you."

How are you? :pac:

Captain Darling

Goodbye.

Hank_Jones

Once made a slightly off the cuff remark about foreigners.

Not racist or prejudiced or that, just a sort of ''bloody foreigners'' remark.

Lo and behold, I was standing there with a Romanian and a Lithuanian.
There was an Irish guy there as well, but that didn't really matter.

Young and stupid.

upandcumming

Was tipsy one night in college and I was being hassled by security guards for ages.
Eventually when I got back to the apartment, I walk in giving out about how security guards are useless idiots etc etc. I don't let anyone defend them by talking over them and shouting. When I'm finished after about 5 mins, one of the lads pipes up
"My dad is a security guard." Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccck!

MitchKoobski

*I was in a very sulky mood at the time, having been gloriously rejected the night before*
Friend: "Haha you were sleeping alone last night anyway after that. No women for Mitch eh?"
Me: "Nah I just slept with your mother instead.:mad:"
Friend: "Gonna be hard when she's dead."
Me: ":("

This has happened at least 3 times.

fififidlesticks

At work in a busy pub one sunday asked man with one arm if he needed a hand with the tray. Eek! Was the one thing i was tellin myself not say! Stupid stupid stupid. Still get embarrassed about it.

Hackysack

I have an awful, reflex like habit of saying stuff like 'So's your ma' at certain occasions.

I consistently (not deliberately!!!) keep saying it to one friend whose mother died recently...

xxchloexx

Was at a friends party and seen a girl i hadn't seen in a while , I knew she was pregnant wasn't sure how long she had left though , so i strike up a conversation with her and ask "god you're getting really big now when are ya due" she just looks at me in disgust and says "I thought i looked well tonight ... I had the baby 3 weeks ago" ****ttttttttttt..

coughlan08

MitchKoobski wrote: »

*I was in a very sulky mood at the time, having been gloriously rejected the night before*
Friend: "Haha you were sleeping alone last night anyway after that. No women for Mitch eh?"
Me: "Nah I just slept with your mother instead.:mad:"
Friend: "Gonna be hard when she's dead."
Me: ":("

This has happened at least 3 times.

so why keep doing it,in fairness like.:rolleyes:

AAAAAAAHHH

Dudess wrote: »

Heard of a guy pointing to a woman's sleeping baby and saying "Oh I'd love to be doing that right now... " except the baby wasn't sleeping, (s)he was being breastfed.

Maybe he just meant the baby

up for anything

Saying, I do, 21 years ago.

chakotha

The word "cool" as often as I hear myself saying it.

fakearms123

Called a black man a nagger!

Sanjuro

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Stopping half-way through sex to ask was tomorrow bin day was not a popular one I can tell ya.

Stopping half-way through sex to point out the scene in Terminator 2 SE where John Connor is trying to teach the T-800 to smile and Arnie pulls this incredibly dorky face. Did not go down well.

Actually, you know what... I'm not really sorry I said that!

ibarelycare

I was at a house party in Leixlip (ew). I didn't really know many of the people there, friends of friends kinda thing. 3 of us were upstairs in the bathroom having a spliff and someone knocked on the door and I opened it. It was the boyfriend of the girl who owned the house, and he goes "Who said you could come up here?" and I said "Your ma" (This was a few years ago, I was going through that phase!) and he went absolutely mental, started screaming at me to get the f*ck out of the house.

I was pretty scared because the guy is really rough and he was awaiting trial for GBH or something along those lines. I had to run downstairs and gather my friends and leave while he was still screaming at me. Found out afterwards his mam had been murdered a few months previously and her death had turned him into a crazy mofo.

I've never used that phrase ever since!

Sparticle

ibarelycare wrote: »

and his death had turned him into a crazy mofo.

If I was dead i'd be pissed too.

ibarelycare

Sparticle wrote: »

If I was dead i'd be pissed too.

Damnit :mad:

kylith

A black guy came into my shop the other day to buy a hat and I told him that the coloured ones were "over there".

midlandsmissus

One sticks in my mind and it's awful! I still cringe.

I used to work in a chipper part time during college, and this albino guy used to come in regularly, and we used to always call him (to ourselves) 'oh there's the albino guy'.

So one night I was out, really drunk, and he came over for a chat, so I was like 'Oh here What's your name? Cause we only know you as the ALBINO GUY!!!!' all friendly like

My workmates were all there and it got exagerated in the telling for ages until it reached the stage where I had shouted 'AH THE ALBINO GUY!!!', so loudly it echoed round the room, and birds fell off the rafters..

That one was brought up at work for ages.
Still feel bad!

wobbles-grogan

Sitting beside the girlfriend when a hot bird i went to school with walks past..

"Man i wished i scored her when i had the chance...."

Loopy

I was putting up an umbrella once walking out of the job, didn't realise my work mate was just behind me... I almost wiped him out with it so turned to him and said 'Jesus sorry nearly took your eye out there'..
He had a glass eye:o

kfallon

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I used to work in a chipper part time during college, and this albino guy used to come in regularly, and we used to always call him (to ourselves) 'oh there's the albino guy'.

Bet ye were up all night thinking of that nickname