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The Irish dating Scene

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Comments

  • #62
    TitoPuente
    Closed Accounts Posts: 549 ✭✭✭TitoPuente


    If there was a degree in stating the bloody obvious. Of course you're not supposed to deprive a woman you're seeing of her friends. If that's what PUA school thought you... well at least you're catching up I suppose.


  • #63
    gavney1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭gavney1


    my understanding of the PUA stuff is that in the wrong hands it can be used a sleazy bag of tricks to seduce as many women as possible. However, I have read what is considered "The Bible" among PUAs - The Game by Neil Strauss.
    And it seems that there's lots of guy trying it out who are decent, happy people and who are perhaps confident in other aspects of their life, but when it comes to women they just can't convey that.

    PUA motives typically aren't sleazy. It's often about just getting your foot in the door with a woman. You can then show her that you're a decent, likeable, funny, intelligent person.

    The usual response is "well, just BE yourself". But we all know how difficult it is to approach people in bars. You can be yourself once you get chatting to someone - but most people aren't Mr. Sociable and only talk to people when they're drunk, so most of us need a bit of help and guidance.

    And there's plenty of other things about this PUA stuff that's helpful, like stressing the importance of good style, mannerisms, etc..

    And the thing about chatting to a girls friends is true. How many guys have got chatting to a nice girl in a bar, and you're both keen on each other until her friend drags her away. If you had included both friends from the start, the friend wouldn't have felt the need to drag her away. I understand your point Tito, that you should be clear about you motives and focus to the girl you're interested in, but girls are (understandably) very protective of their friends, so you need to show both that you're a decent person. That may seem obvious in theory, but I think most guys will forget that when they're out on the town

    It isn't about manipulation, it's about understanding people (including yourself and people's perception of you and your actions) and social situations

    Anyway, just want to say that I think this PUA stuff gets a bad rep. But it's just like with anything - if placed in the wrong hands, it can be a bad thing.


  • #64
    jurgenscarl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 184 ✭✭jurgenscarl


    If you are going out to pubs and clubs you shouldn't have a plan as such. You should be aiming to have fun with your mates and you should aim to be as comfortable as if you were in your own living room.
    If you are thinking purely about getting a girl, you will be putting pressure on yourself and how you think is going to be reflected in your body language and girls will pick up on it right away.
    The guys who stand around in bars protectively holding their pints and looking around like they are lost are the guys who never get women.
    The guys who are smiling, laughing and joking, who go around from group to group shaking guys hands, kissing girls on both cheeks, clinking glasses, getting to know both guys and girls regardless of whether they are complete strangers and who go onto the dance floor and dance with confidence instead of jumping around like a gorilla and enjoy the music and the craic are the guys who get the women.
    Say something original.
    Ask a girl something completely absurd like 'Do you think the potato crop will fail this year?' or 'I need you opinion. Do you think it's ok for a guy to keep pictures of his ex on the wall of his bedroom where he has sex with his girlfriend? Would you be comfortable with that if it was your boyfriend?' or say 'I like your necklace. My sister got one just like in the cornflakes box. But it looks good on you all the same.' You can make something up on the spot.
    If you act like you own the club, act like you know everybody, the whole club or pub will wonder who the hell you are and they will want to know you, they will want to party with you and women will want to sleep with you.
    Pua theory says that you should 'open' as many 'sets' as possible.
    In fact what really should do is treat the entire pub or club as one big 'set' and 'open' them all.
    Once you stop caring what anybody thinks and stop trying too hard your social life will explode into life and meeting someone will be as effortless as breathing.


  • #65
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Off topic thread goo bye bye

    This is not a PUA discussion forum


This discussion has been closed.
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