Funerals of people you don't know.

HavingCrack · 03-07-2010 02:08PM #1

Don't know what got me thinking about this really but thought it'd be interesting enough to get everyones opinions on it.

Basically do you think you should attend the funerals of people you've never met to pay respects-attending the funeral of a colleague's/friend's/local shopkeeper's yes really) parent/grandparent. My mother even drove from Dublin to Limerick to do this before. I find this behaviour really strange personally and the one time i attended a funeral like this I felt very uncomfortable and out of place and would only attend the funerals of people I know personally in future.

Whats everyone else's feelings on this?

Lurching · 03-07-2010 02:11PM

It really depends on the connection, whether your connection was directly with the deceased somehow, or someone connected to the deceased, how close you are to them, and how close they were to the deceased.

Lot of variables there!

Riamfada · 03-07-2010 02:12PM

is there free food?

gazzer · 03-07-2010 02:13PM

I have attended funerals of people I didnt know before (e.g my friends grandparents, my workmates' parents etc) but it was more to offer my consolances to the person I did know

alwaysadub · 03-07-2010 02:14PM

I'd usually go to the removal rather than the funeral to pay my respects. I don't get in the queque to shake hands though. But if i had something else on, or was too far away, i wouldn't change my plans.

HavingCrack · 03-07-2010 02:18PM

Grimes wrote: »

is there free food?

Only egg sandwiches...;)

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:18PM

alwaysadub wrote: »

I'd usually go to the removal rather than the funeral to pay my respects. I don't get in the queque to shake hands though. But if i had something else on, or was too far away, i wouldn't change my plans.

What is a removal?

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:19PM

I've been to about 10 funerals this year all of people i don't know and a waste of hours of my time, i'm sick of going to funerals of people i don't know and sitting on a hard rock seat for 3 hours!!

Mike 1972 · 03-07-2010 02:20PM

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........

owenc wrote: »

What is a removal?

When the coffin is removed from the house/funeralhome before going to the Church/chapel AFaIK

BraziliaNZ · 03-07-2010 02:22PM

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

fonecrusher1 · 03-07-2010 02:22PM

Im always heartbroken at the funerals of people i have never met. I might even roar a bit & even break down completely screaming...why? Why? Why god?...

Then i'l fill up on sandwiches, sausage rolls & drink. Its all about the sang-witches.

HavingCrack · 03-07-2010 02:25PM

owenc wrote: »

What is a removal?

Don't really know what it is really. The body is brought to a church the night before the actual funeral to lie in state kinda...

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........

30 years ago :eek:

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/06/03/Crasher-attended-four-funerals-a-week/UPI-56571275592519/

The Grime Eater ^^^^ :P

Mike 1972 · 03-07-2010 02:31PM

HavingCrack wrote: »

30 years ago :eek:

Yup

They worked together 30 years ago and were good friends but didnt really see much of each other since bar meeting up at the odd funeral and exchanging christmas cards blah blah blah

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:32PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........

When the coffin is removed from the house/funeralhome before going to the Church/chapel AFaIK

So people goto a house to see the coffin being moved? I've never heard the like of that in my life!:eek: What cheats.

phasers · 03-07-2010 02:34PM

When I was in secondary school they made everyone go to three separate funerals for people I'd never heard of and do a guard of honour. Wtf?

I didn't go, it's creepy and funerals should be private affairs for family.

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:37PM

HavingCrack wrote: »

Don't really know what it is really. The body is brought to a church the night before the actual funeral to lie in state kinda...

30 years ago :eek:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/06/03/Crasher-attended-four-funerals-a-week/UPI-56571275592519/

The Grime Eater ^^^^ :P

Ok i'm really confused now what is a removal?

beanyb · 03-07-2010 02:40PM

If I'm close to somebody that was close to the deceased, then I would definitely go to the funeral. It would be to support the friend/colleague that I do know. A friend of mines mother died earlier this year, and while I knew her, most of our friends that showed up had never met her. But they came to support our friend, and he really appreciated that so many people came. It was important to him, so it was important to us.

Daisy Steiner · 03-07-2010 02:42PM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

What's that called again? Think it starts with ex......... it's driving me mad!

Daisy Steiner · 03-07-2010 02:44PM

owenc wrote: »

Ok i'm really confused now what is a removal?

A removal is when the coffin is brought to the church/crematorium. Either from the funeral home or from the deceased's home.

I've gone to funerals to show my respect. Work colleagues/boss's parents for example.

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:44PM

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

What's that called again? Think it starts with ex......... it's driving me mad!

Aw god now you've started me with it.:mad::mad:

owenc · 03-07-2010 02:45PM

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

A removal is when the coffin is brought to the church/crematorium. Either from the funeral home or from the deceased's home.

I've gone to funerals to show my respect. Work colleagues/boss's parents for example.

Do they not just walk it down the road to the church on the day of the funeral? Is that a traditional thing or something.

Mike 1972 · 03-07-2010 02:57PM

owenc wrote: »

Do they not just walk it down the road to the church on the day of the funeral? Is that a traditional thing or something.

Funeral protocol in Ireland does very a bit according to deceases/families preference but more usually due to religion and location (Countryside/Town/City)

From what I can gather from (thankfully limited) experience The main parts are usually
The wake/lying in state(Funeral home or the deceased's house in the latter case it can be restricted to immediate family or open to all comers)
The removal (to church)
the church service/mass itself (usually the next day)
The journey to the graveyard/Crematorium (the latter rare outside cities)
The burial/cremation

At some juncture in this process there is usually food (normally sandwiches but sometimes more elaborate) and (often but not always) copious quantities of alcohol served

The whole process can take anything from a couple of days to a week. How much of it one shows up for depends on relationship to deceased, distance one has to travel and ones own age/state of health etc

People of a certain age tend to attend funerals with the same frequency and largely for the same reasons that people of a certain other age tend to attend pubs

Funerals in rural areas tend to attract a larger number of mourners

owenc · 03-07-2010 03:00PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Funeral protocol in Ireland does very a bit according to deceases/families preference but more usually due to religion and location (Countryside/Town/City)

From what I can gather from (thankfully limited) experience The four main parts are usually
The wake/lying in state(Funeral home or the deceased's house in the latter case it can be restricted to immediate family or open to all comers)
The removal (to church)
the church service/mass itself (usually the next day)
The journey to the graveyard/Crematorium (rare outside cities)
The burial/cremation

At some juncture in this process there is usually food (usually sandwiches) and (often) copious quantities of alcohol

Right well this is the way the funerals have worked that i have been tay:

-Goto the wake eat food.
-Goto the house walk the whole way to church.
-Carry cofin into church.
-Have service.
-Carry coffin to grave.
-Go back to house and eat.

I don't think its any different in any other christian religion.

Oh aye thats true and the churches are too bloody small with something like 90 seats in them and there are usually people standing lined out the door because they are that packed they really need to make them bigger.

Ickle Magoo · 03-07-2010 03:02PM

I only go to peoples funerals when I am invited, if I actually know/knew the deceased and they knew me. I know a few people who seem to view funerals as some kind of macabre social event...not my idea of fun.

Seloth · 03-07-2010 03:15PM

Irish funerals are quite nice compared to those of other countrys.

We tend to bury our dead quite fast and as to celtic tradition a party is held in honour of th dead n order to celebrate life.

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

There was a ridiculouse number of people at my grandmothers funeral but then again she did allot and had 12 children(twas hell growin up with the older cousins tryin to remeber their names when I was little hah)

but ya the que at the removal being 3-4 people was nearly a mile long =O

owenc · 03-07-2010 03:18PM

Seloth wrote: »

Irish funerals are quite nice compared to those of other countrys.

We tend to bury our dead quite fast and as to celtic tradition a party is held in honour of th dead n order to celebrate life.

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

There was a ridiculouse number of people at my grandmothers funeral but then again she did allot and had 12 children(twas hell growin up with the older cousins tryin to remeber their names when I was little hah)

but ya the que at the removal being 3-4 people was nearly a mile long =O

What a pile of crap, that is another anti english/protestant rumour made up by your relatives, oh when are they going to give up *sigh*. I've been to many church of ireland funerals and they are all done at the same time as presbyterian/catholic funerals if not earlier, they do theirs in two days even 1 day sometimes , presbyterians wait longer, i've been to one were they waited 7 days to be buried!

Elliemental · 03-07-2010 03:18PM

I find the idea of going to a stranger's funeral utterly bizarre, to be honest. I know I wouldn't want strangers at my funeral. :eek:

Elliemental · 03-07-2010 03:21PM

Seloth wrote: »

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

LMAO! Who on earth told you that? I'm English myself. My mother was buried three days after her death, in a very nice Humanist (Religion free) service.
My Grandmother was buried, also about 3 or 4 days after her death in a Catholic (yes, England has Catholics, too!:eek:) service.
Its' been pretty much the same for all the deceased.

Ickle Magoo · 03-07-2010 03:21PM

Seloth wrote: »

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

What?

owenc · 03-07-2010 03:22PM

Elliemental wrote: »

LMAO! Who on earth told you that? I'm English myself. My mother was buried three days after her death, in a very nice Humanist (Religion free) service.
My Grandmother was buried, also about 3 or 4 days after her death in a Catholic (yes, England has Catholics, too!:eek:) service.
Its' been pretty much the same for all the deceased.

Probably his grandmother, they are the ones to make up these pathetic rumours,they do my head in.

Seloth · 03-07-2010 03:32PM

owenc wrote: »

What a pile of crap, that is another anti English/protestant rumour made up by your relatives, oh when are they going to give up *sigh*. I've been to many church of Ireland funerals and they are all done at the same time as presbyterian/catholic funerals if not earlier, they do theirs in two days even 1 day sometimes , presbyterians wait longer, i've been to one were they waited 7 days to be buried!

Excuse me but one I did not say I heard this off relatives and two it is not anti protestant or anti English...omg are you so stuck up your own arse you think everything is an attack on others or something..jaysus your an ignorant f**K.

And I say so as I re-call my friend going on about how he was going to is grand mothers funeral 3 months after her death,and something similar with two friends of his.Same with a Scottish friend of mine as well.And to note they were all of different christian creed :P.Maybe not all months but I know f allot of funerals that are longer over there fr different custom reasons,leaving the relatives more time to accept the passing on of their friend/relative.

But seriously I cant get over the ignorance of owenc...Jesus your an idiot for assuming all of your accusations.What made you think it was an attack int he first place.

Funerals of people you don't know.

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