Funerals of people you don't know.

HavingCrack

Don't know what got me thinking about this really but thought it'd be interesting enough to get everyones opinions on it.

Basically do you think you should attend the funerals of people you've never met to pay respects-attending the funeral of a colleague's/friend's/local shopkeeper's yes really) parent/grandparent. My mother even drove from Dublin to Limerick to do this before. I find this behaviour really strange personally and the one time i attended a funeral like this I felt very uncomfortable and out of place and would only attend the funerals of people I know personally in future.

Whats everyone else's feelings on this?

Lurching

It really depends on the connection, whether your connection was directly with the deceased somehow, or someone connected to the deceased, how close you are to them, and how close they were to the deceased.

Lot of variables there!

Riamfada

is there free food?

gazzer

I have attended funerals of people I didnt know before (e.g my friends grandparents, my workmates' parents etc) but it was more to offer my consolances to the person I did know

alwaysadub

I'd usually go to the removal rather than the funeral to pay my respects. I don't get in the queque to shake hands though. But if i had something else on, or was too far away, i wouldn't change my plans.

HavingCrack

Grimes wrote: »

is there free food?

Only egg sandwiches...;)

owenc

alwaysadub wrote: »

I'd usually go to the removal rather than the funeral to pay my respects. I don't get in the queque to shake hands though. But if i had something else on, or was too far away, i wouldn't change my plans.

What is a removal?

owenc

I've been to about 10 funerals this year all of people i don't know and a waste of hours of my time, i'm sick of going to funerals of people i don't know and sitting on a hard rock seat for 3 hours!!

Mike 1972

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........

owenc wrote: »

What is a removal?

When the coffin is removed from the house/funeralhome before going to the Church/chapel AFaIK

BraziliaNZ

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

fonecrusher1

Im always heartbroken at the funerals of people i have never met. I might even roar a bit & even break down completely screaming...why? Why? Why god?...

Then i'l fill up on sandwiches, sausage rolls & drink. Its all about the sang-witches.

HavingCrack

owenc wrote: »

What is a removal?

Don't really know what it is really. The body is brought to a church the night before the actual funeral to lie in state kinda...

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........

30 years ago :eek:

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/06/03/Crasher-attended-four-funerals-a-week/UPI-56571275592519/

The Grime Eater ^^^^ :P

Mike 1972

HavingCrack wrote: »

30 years ago :eek:

Yup

They worked together 30 years ago and were good friends but didnt really see much of each other since bar meeting up at the odd funeral and exchanging christmas cards blah blah blah

owenc

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Got dragged to a couple when I was younger but on the whole I agree its pointless and rather bizzare.

The number of people who showed up at my Grandfathers funeral was unreal. (Population of the village definitely doubled that day) No way could he have known so many people. There was a TD (different party affiliation), A woman-who-had-worked-with-my-mum-30-years-ago, Lots of others (It all became a blur and I was perfectly sober)........


When the coffin is removed from the house/funeralhome before going to the Church/chapel AFaIK

So people goto a house to see the coffin being moved? I've never heard the like of that in my life!:eek: What cheats.

phasers

When I was in secondary school they made everyone go to three separate funerals for people I'd never heard of and do a guard of honour. Wtf?

I didn't go, it's creepy and funerals should be private affairs for family.

owenc

HavingCrack wrote: »

Don't really know what it is really. The body is brought to a church the night before the actual funeral to lie in state kinda...



30 years ago :eek:






http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/06/03/Crasher-attended-four-funerals-a-week/UPI-56571275592519/

The Grime Eater ^^^^ :P

Ok i'm really confused now what is a removal?

beanyb

If I'm close to somebody that was close to the deceased, then I would definitely go to the funeral. It would be to support the friend/colleague that I do know. A friend of mines mother died earlier this year, and while I knew her, most of our friends that showed up had never met her. But they came to support our friend, and he really appreciated that so many people came. It was important to him, so it was important to us.

Daisy Steiner

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Funerals are bullsh*t. I just want to be left on a compost heap. Or ideally sliced up a bit, left on some rocks, and eaten up by birds.

What's that called again? Think it starts with ex......... it's driving me mad!

Daisy Steiner

owenc wrote: »

Ok i'm really confused now what is a removal?

A removal is when the coffin is brought to the church/crematorium. Either from the funeral home or from the deceased's home.



I've gone to funerals to show my respect. Work colleagues/boss's parents for example.

owenc

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

What's that called again? Think it starts with ex......... it's driving me mad!

Aw god now you've started me with it.:mad::mad:

owenc

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

A removal is when the coffin is brought to the church/crematorium. Either from the funeral home or from the deceased's home.



I've gone to funerals to show my respect. Work colleagues/boss's parents for example.

Do they not just walk it down the road to the church on the day of the funeral? Is that a traditional thing or something.

Mike 1972

owenc wrote: »

Do they not just walk it down the road to the church on the day of the funeral? Is that a traditional thing or something.

Funeral protocol in Ireland does very a bit according to deceases/families preference but more usually due to religion and location (Countryside/Town/City)

From what I can gather from (thankfully limited) experience The main parts are usually
The wake/lying in state(Funeral home or the deceased's house in the latter case it can be restricted to immediate family or open to all comers)
The removal (to church)
the church service/mass itself (usually the next day)
The journey to the graveyard/Crematorium (the latter rare outside cities)
The burial/cremation

At some juncture in this process there is usually food (normally sandwiches but sometimes more elaborate) and (often but not always) copious quantities of alcohol served

The whole process can take anything from a couple of days to a week. How much of it one shows up for depends on relationship to deceased, distance one has to travel and ones own age/state of health etc

People of a certain age tend to attend funerals with the same frequency and largely for the same reasons that people of a certain other age tend to attend pubs

Funerals in rural areas tend to attract a larger number of mourners

owenc

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Funeral protocol in Ireland does very a bit according to deceases/families preference but more usually due to religion and location (Countryside/Town/City)

From what I can gather from (thankfully limited) experience The four main parts are usually
The wake/lying in state(Funeral home or the deceased's house in the latter case it can be restricted to immediate family or open to all comers)
The removal (to church)
the church service/mass itself (usually the next day)
The journey to the graveyard/Crematorium (rare outside cities)
The burial/cremation

At some juncture in this process there is usually food (usually sandwiches) and (often) copious quantities of alcohol

Right well this is the way the funerals have worked that i have been tay:

-Goto the wake eat food.
-Goto the house walk the whole way to church.
-Carry cofin into church.
-Have service.
-Carry coffin to grave.
-Go back to house and eat.

I don't think its any different in any other christian religion.

Oh aye thats true and the churches are too bloody small with something like 90 seats in them and there are usually people standing lined out the door because they are that packed they really need to make them bigger.

Ickle Magoo

I only go to peoples funerals when I am invited, if I actually know/knew the deceased and they knew me. I know a few people who seem to view funerals as some kind of macabre social event...not my idea of fun.

Seloth

Irish funerals are quite nice compared to those of other countrys.

We tend to bury our dead quite fast and as to celtic tradition a party is held in honour of th dead n order to celebrate life.

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

There was a ridiculouse number of people at my grandmothers funeral but then again she did allot and had 12 children(twas hell growin up with the older cousins tryin to remeber their names when I was little hah)

but ya the que at the removal being 3-4 people was nearly a mile long =O

owenc

Seloth wrote: »

Irish funerals are quite nice compared to those of other countrys.

We tend to bury our dead quite fast and as to celtic tradition a party is held in honour of th dead n order to celebrate life.

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

There was a ridiculouse number of people at my grandmothers funeral but then again she did allot and had 12 children(twas hell growin up with the older cousins tryin to remeber their names when I was little hah)

but ya the que at the removal being 3-4 people was nearly a mile long =O

What a pile of crap, that is another anti english/protestant rumour made up by your relatives, oh when are they going to give up *sigh*. I've been to many church of ireland funerals and they are all done at the same time as presbyterian/catholic funerals if not earlier, they do theirs in two days even 1 day sometimes , presbyterians wait longer, i've been to one were they waited 7 days to be buried!

Elliemental

I find the idea of going to a stranger's funeral utterly bizarre, to be honest. I know I wouldn't want strangers at my funeral. :eek:

Elliemental

Seloth wrote: »

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

LMAO! Who on earth told you that? I'm English myself. My mother was buried three days after her death, in a very nice Humanist (Religion free) service.
My Grandmother was buried, also about 3 or 4 days after her death in a Catholic (yes, England has Catholics, too!:eek:) service.
Its' been pretty much the same for all the deceased.

Ickle Magoo

Seloth wrote: »

In England they dont bury em for months :eek:

What?

owenc

Elliemental wrote: »

LMAO! Who on earth told you that? I'm English myself. My mother was buried three days after her death, in a very nice Humanist (Religion free) service.
My Grandmother was buried, also about 3 or 4 days after her death in a Catholic (yes, England has Catholics, too!:eek:) service.
Its' been pretty much the same for all the deceased.

Probably his grandmother, they are the ones to make up these pathetic rumours,they do my head in.

Seloth

owenc wrote: »

What a pile of crap, that is another anti English/protestant rumour made up by your relatives, oh when are they going to give up *sigh*. I've been to many church of Ireland funerals and they are all done at the same time as presbyterian/catholic funerals if not earlier, they do theirs in two days even 1 day sometimes , presbyterians wait longer, i've been to one were they waited 7 days to be buried!

Excuse me but one I did not say I heard this off relatives and two it is not anti protestant or anti English...omg are you so stuck up your own arse you think everything is an attack on others or something..jaysus your an ignorant f**K.

And I say so as I re-call my friend going on about how he was going to is grand mothers funeral 3 months after her death,and something similar with two friends of his.Same with a Scottish friend of mine as well.And to note they were all of different christian creed :P.Maybe not all months but I know f allot of funerals that are longer over there fr different custom reasons,leaving the relatives more time to accept the passing on of their friend/relative.

But seriously I cant get over the ignorance of owenc...Jesus your an idiot for assuming all of your accusations.What made you think it was an attack int he first place.

Ickle Magoo

Seloth wrote: »

Excuse me but one I did not say I heard this off relatives and two it is not anti protestant or anti English...omg are you so stuck up your own arse you think everything is an attack on others or something..jaysus your an ignorant f**K.

And I say so as I re-call my friend going on about how he was going to is grand mothers funeral 3 months after her death,and something similar with two friends of his.Same with a Scottish friend of mine as well.And to note they were all of different christian creed :P.Maybe not all months but I know f allot of funerals that are longer over there fr different custom reasons,leaving the relatives more time to accept the passing on of their friend/relative.

Seriously now, have you ever stepped outside Ireland? I'd never heard of having bodies in houses and removals and the like until moving here - if anything the average length of time from death to burial is shorter in the UK than here - months of dead bodies hanging around? Take longer to accept death in the UK? Seriously, like, WTF?!

owenc

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Seriously now, have you ever stepped outside Ireland? I'd never heard of having bodies in houses and removals and the like until moving here - if anything the average length of time from death to burial is shorter in the UK than here - months of dead bodies hanging around? Take longer to accept death in the UK? Seriously, like, WTF?!

I've never heard of it either, it must be some traditional thing. Because i know no one that does that here, the catholics here don't do it either, i think it is a thing done down south only.

Elliemental

In the UK, the only reason a funeral would be delayed for weeks, is if there is some dispute over the cause of death; or in the case of a murder victim (in which case, the body would be preserved for forensic reasons). That is pretty much the same everywhere, as far as I know.
The UK is a religious melting pot, so it would also depends on the deceased's faith (if they have one). For instance, Muslims will be buried within 24 hours. That is hours, not months!

Caoimhín

I never really got that, in the UK you dont go to the funeral unless you knew the person personally or are close friends with their immediate next of kin.

In Ireland the entire parish seem to turn up. I never go unless I knew the person well.

owenc

Seloth wrote: »

Excuse me but one I did not say I heard this off relatives and two it is not anti protestant or anti English...omg are you so stuck up your own arse you think everything is an attack on others or something..jaysus your an ignorant f**K.

And I say so as I re-call my friend going on about how he was going to is grand mothers funeral 3 months after her death,and something similar with two friends of his.Same with a Scottish friend of mine as well.And to note they were all of different christian creed :P.Maybe not all months but I know f allot of funerals that are longer over there fr different custom reasons,leaving the relatives more time to accept the passing on of their friend/relative.

But seriously I cant get over the ignorance of owenc...Jesus your an idiot for assuming all of your accusations.What made you think it was an attack int he first place.

Don't call me a f**k again. Don't say j**** either you should be respectfull.

Wade in the Sea

That's one of those things old people do. I always wondered why? I figure it's cause they are bored or maybe they just gloating?

I think I'll do that when I am all old n' wrinkly. I'll have a really mad cackling laugh, swear profusely and zimmer frame my old ass up and down the aisles in a pair of pee soden pants shouting One Nil One Nil, !!!:p

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Well I mean funerals aren't really about the feelings of the deceased are they, I doubt they care who's at their funeral what with them being dead and everything. It's about their family, and if you're close enough to a member of the family to want to support them on what may well be one of the hardest days of their life then you probably should go.

I hate funerals and tend to avoid them, thankfully I live far away from my extended family so I don't get all the "oooh your grand aunt's niece-in-law is after dying, funeral time!", but I went to a friend's dad's funeral recently because as much as I hate funerals I'm sure he probably hated his dad dying more and he seemed happy to see friends there so I'm glad I did.

Wade in the Sea

Irish funerals are great craic of course. Well ok maybe not if it's a parent, or your own? Usually it's all your mates, siblings and relations that you don't see that much.

I have been to funerals in other North European countries and was really surprised how somber they are. I tried to explain in Ireland it's about celebrating the life as much as mourning their passing. Apparently we are weird? Beats all that screaming they do in the middle east if you ask me.

owenc

Wade in the Sea wrote: »

Irish funerals are great craic of course. Well ok maybe not if it's a parent, or your own? Usually it's all your mates, siblings and relations that you don't see that much.

I have been to funerals in other North European countries and was really surprised how somber they are. I tried to explain in Ireland it's about celebrating the life as much as mourning their passing. Apparently we are weird? Beats all that screaming they do in the middle east if you ask me.

LOL you made me laugh, isn't it halarious when you see them screaming their a** off on the tv like complete freaks (no offence its just halarious).

pebbles21

Seloth wrote: »

..omg are you so stuck up your own arse you think everything is an attack on others or something..jaysus your an ignorant f**K.

owenc wrote: »

Don't call me a f**k again. Don't say j**** either you should be respectfull.

:eek::eek:

*covers childs eyes*

the_barfly1

What pisses me off is the local Fianna Fail TD seems to turn up at every single funeral here, i gave him a piece of my mind not long ago at a close relatives funeral because i knew for a fact that he had no connections to my family at all.
Filthy swine using somebodys death as an excuse to canvass for votes. Do your f*cking job and dont be bothering mourners.
/rant

Micky Dolenz

owenc wrote: »

Probably his grandmother, they are the ones to make up these pathetic rumours,they do my head in.

Please clarify the point you are trying to make here.

Caoimhín

owenc wrote: »

Don't say j**** either you should be respectfull.

Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus.

You wouldnt like it in Spain or South America Owen, every second man is called Jesus.

owenc

Caoimhín wrote: »

Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus.

You wouldnt like it in Spain or South America Owen, every second man is called Jesus.

Well that is offensive to some people.

rainbowdrop

Catholic funerals in England are, in my experience, conducted differently to Catholic funerals in Ireland.

When my (staunch Irish Catholic) Grandmother died in England, her funeral wasn't held for 10 days, simply due to the sheer numbers of people that die over there, she had to 'wait her turn' to be buried. There was no such thing as a 'removal' the night before, she was just taken from the funeral home to the church on the morning of her burial, and then to a huge graveyard where people of all religions are buried. It is sectioned off, so that for example Catholics are buried in one area, Jewish people in another, Protestants in another, Muslims in another area and so on......... There was maybe 100 people at the funeral, either family or friends/neighbours. My grandmother would have known every single one of them.

In contrast, when my other grandmother died here, her funeral was a traditional Irish one.... Rosary for family only the night she died, funeral home the following night, burial the next day. Hundreds attended the funeral, and I doubt very much she knew that amount of people, a lot of them would have been people that didn't know her, but knew the family, and attended as a mark of respect. I definitely prefer the Irish-Catholic way of doing things, than the English-Catholic way!!

Witcher

owenc wrote: »

Well that is offensive to some people.

You should go there and tell them that..give us some peace from ya:pac:

owenc

the_barfly1 wrote: »

What pisses me off is the local Fianna Fail TD seems to turn up at every single funeral here, i gave him a piece of my mind not long ago at a close relatives funeral because i knew for a fact that he had no connections to my family at all.
Filthy swine using somebodys death as an excuse to canvass for votes. Do your f*cking job and dont be bothering mourners.
/rant

So the local politicans turned upto your families funeral and all the other ones in the country, thats awfull

owenc

Blay wrote: »

You should go there and tell them that..give us some peace from ya:pac:

Naw i can't stick countries were they don't speak english its so unhoming.

Ickle Magoo

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Catholic funerals in England are, in my experience, conducted differently to Catholic funerals in Ireland.

When my (staunch Irish Catholic) Grandmother died in England, her funeral wasn't held for 10 days, simply due to the sheer numbers of people that die over there, she had to 'wait her turn' to be buried. There was no such thing as a 'removal' the night before, she was just taken from the funeral home to the church on the morning of her burial, and then to a huge graveyard where people of all religions are buried.

I don't know anything about english catholic funerary rights but are you sure about that being the norm? The uk has more people dying because it has a higher population, yes, but it also has more hospitals, churches, graveyards, etc to deal with it...I had a catholic friend die, a suicide actually and despite having an autopsy she had a removal and funeral within 5 days...

Witcher

owenc wrote: »

Naw i can't stick countries were they don't speak english its so unhoming.

lol How cultural:pac: