What exactly defines 'dating material'?

22-06-2010 06:07PM #1

This is something that has been bothering me for a couple of weeks, after watching the film 'Adam'. After meeting Adam, his love interest is told by a friend that because he has Asperger's he is not dating material. Aside from depressing me for a couple of days, this statement also confused me. What exactly makes someone dateable? I was always under the assumption that this was subjective, but these two women were going on like there was a rulebook on who to get involved with. Of course I know there are some characteristics you should avoid in order to not be abused, but other than that, what are the parameters? Should anyone that's defective, so to speak, be written off? I had always been proud of being an Aspie, since it sets me apart from the norm, and people always talk about how someone that stands out is always a turn on. However, it seems to me now that maybe all that talk was only from the mouth out? Is there a rigid standard that people hold their partners to?

Carsinian Thau · 22-06-2010 06:12PM

kyedhen.female wrote: »

This is something that has been bothering me for a couple of weeks, after watching the film 'Adam'. After meeting Adam, his love interest is told by a friend that because he has Asperger's he is not dating material. Aside from depressing me for a couple of days, this statement also confused me. What exactly makes someone dateable? I was always under the assumption that this was subjective, but these two women were going on like there was a rulebook on who to get involved with. Of course I know there are some characteristics you should avoid in order to not be abused, but other than that, what are the parameters? Should anyone that's defective, so to speak, be written off? I had always been proud of being an Aspie, since it sets me apart from the norm, and people always talk about how someone that stands out is always a turn on. However, it seems to me now that maybe all that talk was only from the mouth out? Is there a rigid standard that people hold their partners to?

You always had it correct.

Different people will be compatible with others so there really isn't a set rulebook, unless you count a rulebook for each individual. E.g. I couldn't be involved with someone who was so obsessed with sports that they couldn't talk about anything else. But there would definitely be plenty of men who would have no such issue.

mood · 22-06-2010 06:14PM

It's a line that was used in a Hollywood movie - not exactly reality! Everyone has different standards and their life experience will have helped form this. What some will see as normal and acceptable others won't so there is no answer (well, apart for the obvious ie married, violent, rude, poor hygiene etc would put a man in the not dating material for most women).

What exactly defines 'dating material'?

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