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I'm sorry, this is eating me alive.

  • 19-06-2010 08:10PM
    #1
    Hank_Jones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭


    I went for a run in the park yesterday morning, as I do several mornings a week.
    It was a fine crisp morning and I was feeling good, nice cool breeze passing across my face as I ran.
    But little did I to know, that this would be a morning which would be embedded into my mind forever.

    There is a group of several pitches which I always run around as it is handy for where I park my car, and if I get tired, I don't have far to walk.
    So I'm running along and on the opposite side of the few pitches I see a man, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, most likely out for a run, walks down the side of the pitch.
    I take little notice of this and concentrate on running, keeping my pace, thinking happy thoughts, etc.

    I round the pitches again and in my line of sight I see something, it can't be....it's not possible....
    The guy has his pants around his ankles and seems to be wiping his ehhh...behind...with something, I don't know what it is, possibly a bit of newspaper or something...I'm really not trying to look at this. He's ''facing'' towards me as he ewwww wipes.
    This can't be happening, why is this happening? Ahhhh my eyes!!!

    I'm in complete shock and disbelief at what I have actually viewed, this man is standing pretty much out in the open, about 15-20 metres away from the entrance of the park and is doing this.
    There's a big group of trees and bushes literally about 15 metres away from where the guy is standing. If he must do this sort of thing...surely he would have wanted a little bit more privacy, or at least to not scar someone for life.

    I'm sorry everyone, I had to tell someone about this, it's been eating me alive.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Leaving your house? Serves ya right.


  • #3
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    It all makes sense now..


  • #4
    SadieSue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SadieSue


    Some people will do anything for attention.


  • #5
    FearDark
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    Who **** on the coats?


  • #6
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    I just hope it was the daily mail he used...


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  • #7
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

    You'd be running with a boner :p


  • #8
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    tman wrote: »
    I just hope it was the daily mail he used...
    especially this one i hope :D


  • #9
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    whiteman19 wrote: »
    especially this one i hope :D

    Yep, that's the one I had in mind!


  • #10
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    god damm it i hate it when i get a sweaty bum crack running :(


  • #11
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

    You'd be running with a boner :p

    Ah now,surely seeing that'd turn you off her? Just a tad,maybe?


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  • #12
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,119 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    Ah now,surely seeing that'd turn you off her? Just a tad,maybe?

    women, just don't understand us :pac:


  • #13
    LowOdour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,906 ✭✭✭LowOdour


    thought you were going to say you had the ebola virus....im disapointed


  • #14
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    women, just don't understand us :pac:

    I'm obviously living a sheltered life:eek::D


  • #15
    Hank_Jones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭Hank_Jones


    LowOdour wrote: »
    thought you were going to say you had the ebola virus....im disapointed

    If I do get it, I'll be sure to come and find you right away...

    Also, I'm disappointed at your spelling of the word disappointed.


  • #16
    noura
    Closed Accounts Posts: 30 ✭noura


    the life is full of surprises:eek:


  • #17
    Lux23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    He must have been caught short. Once when I was walking from a taxi to my apartment door I saw a middle aged man squating in the middle of the footpath, I was so glad it lashed rain all that night.


  • #18
    Birneybau
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,455 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Sh!t story bro...










    Literally


  • #19
    LC2010HIS
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,414 ✭✭✭LC2010HIS


    yucky :eek:


  • #20
    Prof.Badass
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    Ah, the mentally ill. Always good for a laugh :pac:.


  • #21
    Oh_Noes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    I was playing football in the park one time with my nephew, and I needed to pee so I found a secluded corner behind a tree and proceeded to pee. As soon as I walk out puling up my zipper, this woman appears walking her three dogs, she throws me the evil eyes and makes a tut-tutting sound as if I was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

    She was down there with her three dogs, and her three dogs were sh1tting and p1ssing everywhere. Maybe I'm uncivilized or something, but I really don't see the problem in peeing in a park if you do it where no one is going to be looking at you. Especially if the people with the problem have their animals defecating everywhere (and usually not bagging it) when young kids are kicking footballs around.

    Pooping on the ground out in the open though? The guy the OP talks about must have been a few newspapers short of a corner shop.


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  • #22
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,608 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    'Runners trots' deal with it and move on.

    Everyone's sh*t smells.


  • #23
    patwicklow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,936 ✭✭✭patwicklow


    i know what is was the guy picked this up in the free ads
    http://adverts.ie/238351


  • #24
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    tman wrote: »
    I just hope it was the daily mail he used...

    The problem with that is that he'd probably end up with a lot more sh1t than he started with.


  • #25
    Kiwi_knock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭Kiwi_knock


    Oh_Noes wrote: »
    I was playing football in the park one time with my nephew, and I needed to pee so I found a secluded corner behind a tree and proceeded to pee. As soon as I walk out puling up my zipper, this woman appears walking her three dogs, she throws me the evil eyes and makes a tut-tutting sound as if I was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

    She was down there with her three dogs, and her three dogs were sh1tting and p1ssing everywhere. Maybe I'm uncivilized or something, but I really don't see the problem in peeing in a park if you do it where no one is going to be looking at you. Especially if the people with the problem have their animals defecating everywhere (and usually not bagging it) when young kids are kicking footballs around.

    Pooping on the ground out in the open though? The guy the OP talks about must have been a few newspapers short of a corner shop.
    You come out of bushes in a park putting in your pen!s back in your pants while there are children everywhere and you think it is weird that a woman gave you shocked look.


  • #26
    Oh_Noes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    Kiwi_knock wrote: »
    You come out of bushes in a park putting in your pen!s back in your pants while there are children everywhere and you think it is weird that a woman gave you shocked look.

    I said pulling up my zipper. I've also used the same toilet facilities in a restaurant at the same time a child was using them. Oh the horror!:eek:


  • #27
    TheTosh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 919 ✭✭✭TheTosh


    Its a natural thing you know


  • #28
    Scráib
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 593 ✭✭✭Scráib


    Saw a lad taking a p!ss opposite the Taoiseach's office just off Baggot street once, on a Tuesday, at lunchtime. Pretty manky. Tourists were everywhere that day.


  • #29
    Kiwi_knock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭Kiwi_knock


    Scráib wrote: »
    Saw a lad taking a p!ss opposite the Taoiseach's office just off Baggot street once, on a Tuesday, at lunchtime. Pretty manky. Tourists were everywhere that day.
    Poor Enda, that is the closest he will get to taking a p!ss in the office of a taoiseach


  • #30
    dr gonzo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,676 ✭✭✭dr gonzo


    Hank_Jones wrote: »
    I went for a run in the park yesterday morning, as I do several mornings a week.
    It was a fine crisp morning and I was feeling good, nice cool breeze passing across my face as I ran.
    But little did I to know, that this would be a morning which would be embedded into my mind forever.

    There is a group of several pitches which I always run around as it is handy for where I park my car, and if I get tired, I don't have far to walk.
    So I'm running along and on the opposite side of the few pitches I see a man, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, most likely out for a run, walks down the side of the pitch.
    I take little notice of this and concentrate on running, keeping my pace, thinking happy thoughts, etc.

    I round the pitches again and in my line of sight I see something, it can't be....it's not possible....
    The guy has his pants around his ankles and seems to be wiping his ehhh...behind...with something, I don't know what it is, possibly a bit of newspaper or something...I'm really not trying to look at this. He's ''facing'' towards me as he ewwww wipes.
    This can't be happening, why is this happening? Ahhhh my eyes!!!

    I'm in complete shock and disbelief at what I have actually viewed, this man is standing pretty much out in the open, about 15-20 metres away from the entrance of the park and is doing this.
    There's a big group of trees and bushes literally about 15 metres away from where the guy is standing. If he must do this sort of thing...surely he would have wanted a little bit more privacy, or at least to not scar someone for life.

    I'm sorry everyone, I had to tell someone about this, it's been eating me alive.


    You call that a sh1t story?

    A friend of mine saw a junkie drop trou outside the MacDonalds window on O'Connell Street and proceeded to take a dump on the path. It was apparently only made more funny by the fact that a guy was up until that moment blissfully enjoying a big mac inside the window beside this twisted yet hilarious event.

    Whatever about the p1ssing beside the taoiseachs office, this one is definitely hard to explain to the tourists.


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  • #31
    Hal1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,718 ✭✭✭Hal1


    Did it get on your skin, somehow, OP? :eek:


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