I'm sorry, this is eating me alive.

Hank_Jones

I went for a run in the park yesterday morning, as I do several mornings a week.
It was a fine crisp morning and I was feeling good, nice cool breeze passing across my face as I ran.
But little did I to know, that this would be a morning which would be embedded into my mind forever.

There is a group of several pitches which I always run around as it is handy for where I park my car, and if I get tired, I don't have far to walk.
So I'm running along and on the opposite side of the few pitches I see a man, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, most likely out for a run, walks down the side of the pitch.
I take little notice of this and concentrate on running, keeping my pace, thinking happy thoughts, etc.

I round the pitches again and in my line of sight I see something, it can't be....it's not possible....
The guy has his pants around his ankles and seems to be wiping his ehhh...behind...with something, I don't know what it is, possibly a bit of newspaper or something...I'm really not trying to look at this. He's ''facing'' towards me as he ewwww wipes.
This can't be happening, why is this happening? Ahhhh my eyes!!!

I'm in complete shock and disbelief at what I have actually viewed, this man is standing pretty much out in the open, about 15-20 metres away from the entrance of the park and is doing this.
There's a big group of trees and bushes literally about 15 metres away from where the guy is standing. If he must do this sort of thing...surely he would have wanted a little bit more privacy, or at least to not scar someone for life.

I'm sorry everyone, I had to tell someone about this, it's been eating me alive.

Leaving your house? Serves ya right.

Gummy Panda

It all makes sense now..

SadieSue

Some people will do anything for attention.

FearDark

Who **** on the coats?

tman

I just hope it was the daily mail he used...

OutlawPete

If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

You'd be running with a boner

RolandIRL

tman wrote: »

I just hope it was the daily mail he used...

especially this one i hope

tman

whiteman19 wrote: »

especially this one i hope

Yep, that's the one I had in mind!

Snowie

god damm it i hate it when i get a sweaty bum crack running

alwaysadub

OutlawPete wrote: »

If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

You'd be running with a boner

Ah now,surely seeing that'd turn you off her? Just a tad,maybe?

Tar.Aldarion

alwaysadub wrote: »

Ah now,surely seeing that'd turn you off her? Just a tad,maybe?

women, just don't understand us :pac:

LowOdour

thought you were going to say you had the ebola virus....im disapointed

alwaysadub

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

women, just don't understand us :pac:

I'm obviously living a sheltered life:eek::D

Hank_Jones

LowOdour wrote: »

thought you were going to say you had the ebola virus....im disapointed

If I do get it, I'll be sure to come and find you right away...

Also, I'm disappointed at your spelling of the word disappointed.

noura

the life is full of surprises:eek:

Lux23

He must have been caught short. Once when I was walking from a taxi to my apartment door I saw a middle aged man squating in the middle of the footpath, I was so glad it lashed rain all that night.

Birneybau

Sh!t story bro...










Literally

LC2010HIS

yucky :eek:

Prof.Badass

Ah, the mentally ill. Always good for a laugh :pac:.

Oh_Noes

I was playing football in the park one time with my nephew, and I needed to pee so I found a secluded corner behind a tree and proceeded to pee. As soon as I walk out puling up my zipper, this woman appears walking her three dogs, she throws me the evil eyes and makes a tut-tutting sound as if I was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

She was down there with her three dogs, and her three dogs were sh1tting and p1ssing everywhere. Maybe I'm uncivilized or something, but I really don't see the problem in peeing in a park if you do it where no one is going to be looking at you. Especially if the people with the problem have their animals defecating everywhere (and usually not bagging it) when young kids are kicking footballs around.

Pooping on the ground out in the open though? The guy the OP talks about must have been a few newspapers short of a corner shop.

arybvtcw0eolkf

'Runners trots' deal with it and move on.

Everyone's sh*t smells.

patwicklow

i know what is was the guy picked this up in the free ads
http://adverts.ie/238351

ejmaztec

tman wrote: »

I just hope it was the daily mail he used...

The problem with that is that he'd probably end up with a lot more sh1t than he started with.

Kiwi_knock

Oh_Noes wrote: »

I was playing football in the park one time with my nephew, and I needed to pee so I found a secluded corner behind a tree and proceeded to pee. As soon as I walk out puling up my zipper, this woman appears walking her three dogs, she throws me the evil eyes and makes a tut-tutting sound as if I was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

She was down there with her three dogs, and her three dogs were sh1tting and p1ssing everywhere. Maybe I'm uncivilized or something, but I really don't see the problem in peeing in a park if you do it where no one is going to be looking at you. Especially if the people with the problem have their animals defecating everywhere (and usually not bagging it) when young kids are kicking footballs around.

Pooping on the ground out in the open though? The guy the OP talks about must have been a few newspapers short of a corner shop.

You come out of bushes in a park putting in your pen!s back in your pants while there are children everywhere and you think it is weird that a woman gave you shocked look.

Oh_Noes

Kiwi_knock wrote: »

You come out of bushes in a park putting in your pen!s back in your pants while there are children everywhere and you think it is weird that a woman gave you shocked look.

I said pulling up my zipper. I've also used the same toilet facilities in a restaurant at the same time a child was using them. Oh the horror!:eek:

TheTosh

Its a natural thing you know

Scráib

Saw a lad taking a p!ss opposite the Taoiseach's office just off Baggot street once, on a Tuesday, at lunchtime. Pretty manky. Tourists were everywhere that day.

Kiwi_knock

Scráib wrote: »

Saw a lad taking a p!ss opposite the Taoiseach's office just off Baggot street once, on a Tuesday, at lunchtime. Pretty manky. Tourists were everywhere that day.

Poor Enda, that is the closest he will get to taking a p!ss in the office of a taoiseach

dr gonzo

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I went for a run in the park yesterday morning, as I do several mornings a week.
It was a fine crisp morning and I was feeling good, nice cool breeze passing across my face as I ran.
But little did I to know, that this would be a morning which would be embedded into my mind forever.

There is a group of several pitches which I always run around as it is handy for where I park my car, and if I get tired, I don't have far to walk.
So I'm running along and on the opposite side of the few pitches I see a man, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, most likely out for a run, walks down the side of the pitch.
I take little notice of this and concentrate on running, keeping my pace, thinking happy thoughts, etc.

I round the pitches again and in my line of sight I see something, it can't be....it's not possible....
The guy has his pants around his ankles and seems to be wiping his ehhh...behind...with something, I don't know what it is, possibly a bit of newspaper or something...I'm really not trying to look at this. He's ''facing'' towards me as he ewwww wipes.
This can't be happening, why is this happening? Ahhhh my eyes!!!

I'm in complete shock and disbelief at what I have actually viewed, this man is standing pretty much out in the open, about 15-20 metres away from the entrance of the park and is doing this.
There's a big group of trees and bushes literally about 15 metres away from where the guy is standing. If he must do this sort of thing...surely he would have wanted a little bit more privacy, or at least to not scar someone for life.

I'm sorry everyone, I had to tell someone about this, it's been eating me alive.

You call that a sh1t story?

A friend of mine saw a junkie drop trou outside the MacDonalds window on O'Connell Street and proceeded to take a dump on the path. It was apparently only made more funny by the fact that a guy was up until that moment blissfully enjoying a big mac inside the window beside this twisted yet hilarious event.

Whatever about the p1ssing beside the taoiseachs office, this one is definitely hard to explain to the tourists.

Hal1

Did it get on your skin, somehow, OP? :eek:

TheTosh

Some people on this thread have obviously never heard of squatters rights

Mick Daly

There was once a video on youtube of a woman sh1tting on a doorstep on Talbot Street. I think the video has been removed.

You could see the piss and sh1t trickling along the path in front of pedestrians. She then pulled her knickers up and when she stood up had to pull her skirt out of her arse because it became lodged in her sh1tty hole.

martyboy48

TheTosh wrote: »

Some people on this thread have obviously never heard of squatters rights

.. Or danger sh1tes....

patwicklow

wonder does the queen do it..

TheTosh

Does the Pope sh*t in the park

jiltloop

OutlawPete wrote: »

If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

You'd be running with a boner

What are you talking about? Hot chicks don't do poos!

bnt

Next time carry a video camera: then you can transfer the video to your computer and play it backwards. That ought to reverse any psychological damage you might have sustained. In theory.

Hank_Jones

OutlawPete wrote: »

If it was a hawt chick, would you have minded?

You'd be running with a boner

I don't really want to see anyone doing that, regardless of whether they are male or female.
It being a hot woman certainly would have made it easier on the eyes though.

TheTosh wrote: »

Its a natural thing you know

It may be natural, but it's certainly not normal to do it out in a field where other people happen to be.

Hal1 wrote: »

Did it get on your skin, somehow, OP?

It didn't get on my skin, can't get the image out of my mind though.
Why did he have to do it? Why? Why me?

bnt wrote: »

Next time carry a video camera: then you can transfer the video to your computer and play it backwards. That ought to reverse any psychological damage you might have sustained. In theory.

Ahh yes, that's what I want to do. As if I'm not scarred enough after the first time, I now want to go out and see someone doing this again....only this time....I'm going to tape them doing it...

m@cc@

Hank_Jones wrote: »

The guy has his pants around his ankles and seems to be wiping his ehhh...behind...with something, I don't know what it is, possibly a bit of newspaper or something...

Docken leaf, ftw.

Tender Hoop

my cousin took a dump in the in the 5th hole in Deer park golf club. Literarily in the hole on the green. For a bet. funniest thing I have ever seen.

TheTosh

m@cc@ wrote: »

Docken leaf, ftw.

Lets hope he didn't use nettles

lalee17

Did he have the runs?

Mick Daly

Did he have a dribbly cock?