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Does anyone else think getting married is just a very bad idea.

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245

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    #32
    fulhamfanincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 882 ✭✭✭fulhamfanincork


    Weddings or no weddings, at the end of the day if you are happy in yourself that's all that matters.



    Sorry for the cheesiness.


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    #33
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?


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    #34
    SoulTrader
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭SoulTrader


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?

    Yeah, it depends though on what you're earning. If both husband and wife are paying tax at the top rate, then there's no tax break at all. If one partner wasn't earning any money, then that partner's tax credits and tax band could be transferred to the other.


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    #35
    CreepingDeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,015 ✭✭✭CreepingDeath


    SugarHigh wrote: »
    I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

    Marriage is purely for women.
    Since they have to invest a lot of their lives to bring up children they want a legally binding contract to punish the man if he leaves.

    But in America (where the OP's link comes from) they've taken it too far.
    Too many ambulance chasers and divorce lawyers trying to cash in as much as possible on the legal system.

    Although in Ireland I have heard a lot of stories of deadbeat Dads, with gambling problems, unemployed etc.
    One who was claiming they were looking after their kid since birth, and they weren't the mother was. It all came out recently, and your man is up for social welfare fraud.

    But I think the idea that immediately after marriage the woman is entitled to 50% is fundamentally wrong.
    There should be some form of incremental system based on years of marriage, and number of kids.


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    #36
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.


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    #37
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    CreepingDeath wrote: »
    Marriage is purely for women.
    Since they have to invest a lot of their lives to bring up children they want a legally binding contract to punish the man if he leaves.

    Then why do couples who don't want and never have children get married? And why is it usually men who do the asking if marriage is so terrible for them? Married men live longer than single men, it must be doing them some favours.


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    #38
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    SugarHigh wrote: »
    Does anyone else think getting married is just a very bad idea.
    No.


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    #39
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?

    It's beneficial if one of you is on a low wage, working part-time or not working because you are assessed as a couple.

    Bad ideas about how your relationship pans out exist only in the mind of others.

    Whatever you choose to do is right: whether that involves marriage or not.

    /cliché


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    #40
    Abrasax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 977 ✭✭✭Abrasax


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.

    After what length of time?
    Even if you have no kids together?


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    #41
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    Abrasax wrote: »
    After what length of time?
    Even if you have no kids together?

    AFAIK it's as soon as you move in together and yes it's even if you have no kids.


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    #42
    bad2dabone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,333 ✭✭✭bad2dabone


    I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.


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    #43
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    bad2dabone wrote: »
    I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.

    Post smells of Biggins!



    :pac:


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    #44
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    SarahBM wrote: »
    the laws in Ireland are very unfair. 40 years ago a woman could not collect her child benfit,

    I was under the impression that it was the exact opposite and that it hadnt changed ????

    i.e. a man can only get child benefit if he is the sole guardian of the kids otherwise the woman gets the money. (Even if she's earning 200 grand a year and the bloke isint earning anything) :confused:


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    #45
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    SarahBM wrote: »
    I dont believe in marriage. you don't need to spend 20 or 30 grand on a massive piss up and a piece of paper to show how much you love someone.......I just don't understand why you would bother. so much money stress and hassle. not to mention that the stress and pressure (emotional and financial) could damage your relationship.

    :pac: You realise you could get married for less than a grand if you really wanted to right? :confused:

    It's hilarious how the people least interested in the sacrament of marriage are usually the ones who spend the most. Irony.


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    #46
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    bad2dabone wrote: »
    I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.
    Abigayle wrote: »
    Post smells of Biggins!
    :pac:
    He don't know yet that we are sharing the same wife. :D


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    #47
    Abrasax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 977 ✭✭✭Abrasax


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    AFAIK it's as soon as you move in together and yes it's even if you have no kids.



    That's ridiculous.
    You move in with someone and when you split up any assets you brought into the marriage are split 50/50?
    How is that fair, especially if you have no kids?
    Whatever you made after you got hitched, fair enough.


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    #48
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.


    It's the same in all Scandanavian countries. I had a Norwegian boyfriend who at one point had been totally cleaned out by an exgirlfriend and they had been together 18months. It was his house, his business, etc, and everything that he had worked for and she got half when they split up. I'm all for giving co-habiting couples rights but the scandanavian system is bordering on ridiculous.

    I don't necessarily think that marriage is a waste of time; but I have zero time for this big wedding BS.

    That said I'll never be in a rush to get married regardless.


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    #49
    bad2dabone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,333 ✭✭✭bad2dabone


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Post smells of Biggins!



    :pac:

    thats true but Biggins goes on about his wife so much that it's become kind of....gay....

    ;)


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    #50
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,594 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Abrasax wrote: »
    Whatever you made after you got hitched, fair enough.

    Why even that? Heather Mills got something like £25mill for 5 years with Paul McCarthney. Did she somehow contribute that much value to his earnings over the period in question? Take away his royalties (practically all of which were activated before he even met Mills) and I doubt he even generated a fraction of that amount himself over the same period (let alone with her input).


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    #51
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    bad2dabone wrote: »
    thats true but Biggins goes on about his wife so much that it's become kind of....gay....

    ;)
    :pac:

    :p

    I LOVE MY WIFE NAA... NAA... NAA... :P

    How do ya like them apples! :D


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    #52
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,132 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    I kinda like hanging out with someone who likes me enough to promise to hang around for ever.

    But hey, it's not for everyone.


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    #53
    conorhal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,098 ✭✭✭conorhal


    I can't believe the sad and cynical attitude of so many people. Are we so selfish and and everything in our lives so transitory and disposible that this is now a common attitude? That nobody's intrested in building a life and a stable home and children with sombody? Are that actually that many people who at the very least don't mind dying anonymous in some hospital bed with little or nobody that will mourn them?

    At the very least it's a careless attitude.

    Would you take a job without a legal contract?

    Would you invest a couple of decades in a company and get made redundant from a whole life that defined who you are an not at least expect a severence package?

    And ask your self, how well do you treat a rental car? :pac:


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    #54
    Abrasax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 977 ✭✭✭Abrasax


    bonerm wrote: »
    Why even that? Heather Mills got something like £25mill for 5 years with Paul McCarthney. Did she somehow contribute that much value to his earnings over the period in question? Take away his royalties (practically all of which were activated before he even met Mills) and I doubt he even generated a fraction of that amount himself over the same period (let alone with her input).

    I dunno how she got away with that much.
    She hadn't a leg to stand on.


    :pac:


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    #55
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    bad2dabone wrote: »
    thats true but Biggins goes on about his wife so much that it's become kind of....gay....

    ;)

    And I quote :pac:

    bad2dabone wrote: »
    I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.



    ^^ that said, I do not judge. If you're both quite happy with your lot, and anyone else who is -well thats pretty cool.


    Its just not for some people, and its unfortunate that they find this out too late. I include myself in that, I followed stupid steps that are 'expected' of a couple, and lets say I had something of an allergic reaction to it. It doesnt come natually to some (men and women).

    I just felt suffrocated, and like my whole life was mapped out for me. Some birds are just not meant to be caged, and I think I'm one of them. Tbh, I wouldn't have a problem with a long term relationship, but even say the word 'marriage' and I'll break out into a rash.


    But like I said- if its for you, its for you.


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    #56
    fikay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 251 ✭✭fikay


    SugarHigh wrote: »
    I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

    It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

    Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
    http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

    I've seen all sorts of things on the interwebs, but that link is fcuking disgusting


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    #57
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    TPD wrote: »
    I believe that in Ireland at least, even a married father has no rights to his children.
    He may have fuk all rights, but he's still more protected in that regard than he would be if he weren't married.
    conorhal wrote: »
    Are that actually that many people who at the very least don't mind dying anonymous in some hospital bed with little or nobody that will mourn them?
    No? But if you don't meet anyone you want to marry, so be it. Getting married to someone you're only kinda into out of fear of dying alone is far more depressing an idea...


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    #58
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    conorhal wrote: »
    I can't believe the sad and cynical attitude of so many people. Are we so selfish and and everything in our lives so transitory and disposible that this is now a common attitude? That nobody's intrested in building a life and a stable home and children with sombody?

    Youre accusing people of being sad, cynical and selfish and yet you put lifelong partnership on the same level as ownership of a car ?
    Dudess wrote: »
    t. Getting married to someone you're only kinda into out of fear of dying alone is far more depressing an idea...
    Not to mention being based on the rather dubious assumption that the other person is going to live longer than oneself


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    #59
    Carl Sagan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 856 ✭✭✭Carl Sagan


    conorhal wrote: »
    I can't believe the sad and cynical attitude of so many people. Are we so selfish and and everything in our lives so transitory and disposible that this is now a common attitude? That nobody's intrested in building a life and a stable home and children with sombody? Are that actually that many people who at the very least don't mind dying anonymous in some hospital bed with little or nobody that will mourn them?

    At the very least it's a careless attitude.

    Would you take a job without a legal contract?

    Would you invest a couple of decades in a company and get made redundant from a whole life that defined who you are an not at least expect a severence package?

    And ask your self, how well do you treat a rental car? :pac:

    First you talk about being selfish about material things, and then finish expecting a severance package?

    People can have kids, a life and a stable home with someone they love without being married, and it's ridiculous to think otherwise.


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    #60
    Coriolanus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,879 ✭✭✭Coriolanus


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    Married men live longer than single men, it must be doing them some favours.
    This is why I want polygamy legalised. A married man lives on average three years longer than an unmarried man. I figure five or six is probably the limit, after that the diminishing returns turn into negative feedback.
    Personally, I think it should be enshrined in the ECHR that a man, where it can be shown that doing so has a good chance of extending his lifetime, should be allowed to marry more than one woman. Anything less is practically euthanasia. :mad:


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    #61
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Nevore wrote: »
    Personally, I think it should be enshrined in the ECHR that a man, where it can be shown that doing so has a good chance of extending his lifetime, should be allowed to marry more than one woman. Anything less is practically euthanasia. :mad:

    What if he wants to marry more than one man or some combination of men and women :pac:


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