Does anyone else think getting married is just a very bad idea.

SugarHigh

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

Zombienosh

You could have just said no to my face!
You didn't have to tell me this way. I hate you

GLaDOS

An unmarried father has no rights to his children I believe, that's one reason

liah

Visa marriage. :cool:

Otherwise, no point really. It's a nice way to show you love the other person but the consequences are too great if things to belly up. I'd prefer a very long engagement, I reckon!

easyeason3

So would you weigh up a drunken one night stand with the same attitude?
I'm guessing no because A) you're drunk & you're getting your hole. But it could work out just as expensive & headwrecking if the lady you shared body fluids with fell pregnant.

I like the idea of marriage. The only thing I don't like about it in this country is that my gay friends can't legally get married & be recognised.

TPD

I agree, the potential negatives outweigh the questionable positives.

ScienceNerd wrote: »

An unmarried father has no rights to his children I believe, that's one reason

I believe that in Ireland at least, even a married father has no rights to his children.

DazMarz

Have to say I kinda agree with this... Nobody is sure what the future holds, and should the relationship go tits up, then you (especially if you're a man) are federally fúcked. Women always get the savage settlements in divorces.

Plus there's all the aggro with kids and all that. Plus after several years of each other's company, you will be getting on each other's tits, so best not to bother, IMO... tho my perspective will most likely change in a few years.

Millicent

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

Oh my God, the bloody vultures in that link. "Cashing out"? How romantic! :eek:

bronte

There's something extremely unsettling to me about putting a contract on something like Love. Doesn't really make any sense.

Edit. Jebus I just read that link! Bloody hell! :eek:

Turtyturd

Yeah it is a bad idea. Much easier to split up with your partner than to divorce your wife.

About time some of the religious aspacts were removed from the constitution to reflect todays society and all couples married or not, same sex or not were treated equally.

Myrddin

Millicent wrote: »

Oh my God, the bloody vultures in that link. "Cashing out"? How romantic! :eek:

Just read it too - what a shower of b@stards!

Elessar

I think relationships in general are a bad idea.

dr.bollocko

Much better to try and stay together because you want to and not because of the whole "till death do us part" voodoo. Surely it's meaningless in an increasingly secular society?
Well.... Lets hope so.

I was never one for marriage, but I like the idea.
Plus there's all the legal stuff too - last thing I'd want to hear after an accident or something is "family only, no girlfriend allowed to see him"
It just seems very final I guess...

L.Jenkins

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

I've heard Jimmy Carr say it best, "What a cúnt!" The lads been taken for a ride by his previous wife and she's intend on bringing the man further hardship by divorcing him and using him as a human mastercard for atleast the next 18 years. To reiterate my point, "What a cúnt!"

The_Kew_Tour

Yes, you can go on a lot of dam good holidays for the price you pay for wedding day.

SugarHigh

bluewolf wrote: »

I was never one for marriage, but I like the idea.
Plus there's all the legal stuff too - last thing I'd want to hear after an accident or something is "family only, no girlfriend allowed to see him"
It just seems very final I guess...

That doesn't make me want to get married it just makes me want that to change*




*not enough to actually do anything though:pac:

L.Jenkins

adrian280582 wrote: »

Yes, you can go on a lot of dam good holidays for the price you pay for wedding day.

Try a deposit for a house and a new car.

bonerm

Pre-nup's for all tbh.

BTW sorry but anyone who uses the phrase "we're pregnant" is a pretentious idiot imho.

L.Jenkins

bonerm wrote: »

Pre-nup's for all tbh.

Would you believe they don't stand for much in this Country or the UK. Your OH is still entitled to half and maintance regardless.

The_Kew_Tour

djhunter30 wrote: »

Try a deposit for a house and a new car.

well depends if you have bought the house during the boom or clever enough to buy house when prices are gone down so much over last few years.

ddef

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

I didn't know Barney F*cking Stinson had a boards account!

L.Jenkins

Ya I'm saying if you waited until now, instead of a wedding, you can have a deposit for a nice 4 bed and a not too shabby mid-range car like a 3 series BMW or what ever else strikes your fancy.

A Primal Nut

Alimony is the most rediculous law in history. Women want to be independant, me hole!

There are no benefits for a man to get married. Its like a man's concession to his girlfriend.

inmyday

family law in ireland is very hard to understand.

when a loving relationship ends, its hard enough, but you have to worry
about money.

marriage scares me!

L.Jenkins

A Primal Nut wrote: »

Alimony is the most rediculous law in history. Women want to be independant, me hole!

There are no benefits for a man to get married. Its like a man's concession to his girlfriend.

Question so: If a couple divorce and by some miracle, the male gains the children, does she pay child support? Or is this another double standard we must abide by?

minidazzler

liah wrote: »

Visa marriage. :cool:

Otherwise, no point really. It's a nice way to show you love the other person but the consequences are too great if things to belly up. I'd prefer a very long engagement, I reckon!

Ah, so that's how you are living here without being kicked out yet!

The only part f marriage that appeals to me is a massive party with Open Bar. None of the rest of it seems fun really.

Prof.Badass

I hope to someday raise children with a woman with whom i am in a long-term monogamous relationship. I don't think any other system for raising childrren is as fair/workeable on all parties involved.

This doesn't neccesarily mean marraige, although i do plan to get married for the reason sciencenerd mentioned (i can't see ireland achieving gender equality anytime soon ).

Under an ideal scenario i'd actually welcome the abolishment of marraige (well state recognition of it anyway), however, it's still nice to have a ceremony to show your intent to stay together and have children.

Coriolanus

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

It just seems like you are setting yourself up for hassle if you the relationship goes sour while not really adding anything to the relationship if it works out.

Then there is damage to your bank balance if it goes tits up.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2460/1276778988090.jpg

They're bringing in common law marriage soon enough. If you're living with someone for three + years, the dependent will have a claim on the future earnings of the other half after the relationship breaks up.

SarahBM

I dont believe in marriage. you don't need to spend 20 or 30 grand on a massive piss up and a piece of paper to show how much you love someone.
If you love some one and they love you, you shouldn't have to prove it, they should just know.
the laws in Ireland are very unfair. 40 years ago a woman could not collect her child benfit, no its the complete opposite, men have hardly any rights when it comes to their kids. Very bias and unfair system. marriage complicates it further IMO.

If you want to get married, fine. but if you don't, don't feel pressured by family or friends or your church.

I just don't understand why you would bother. so much money stress and hassle. not to mention that the stress and pressure (emotional and financial) could damage your relationship.

SarahBM

SarahBM wrote: »

I dont believe in marriage. you don't need to spend 20 or 30 grand on a massive piss up and a piece of paper to show how much you love someone.

That means you don't believe in big weddings. Weddings != marriage.

fulhamfanincork

Weddings or no weddings, at the end of the day if you are happy in yourself that's all that matters.



Sorry for the cheesiness.

Gummy Panda

Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?

SoulTrader

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?

Yeah, it depends though on what you're earning. If both husband and wife are paying tax at the top rate, then there's no tax break at all. If one partner wasn't earning any money, then that partner's tax credits and tax band could be transferred to the other.

CreepingDeath

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not afraid of commitment or against long term relationships but I just don't see why someone would get married outside of religious reasons.

Marriage is purely for women.
Since they have to invest a lot of their lives to bring up children they want a legally binding contract to punish the man if he leaves.

But in America (where the OP's link comes from) they've taken it too far.
Too many ambulance chasers and divorce lawyers trying to cash in as much as possible on the legal system.

Although in Ireland I have heard a lot of stories of deadbeat Dads, with gambling problems, unemployed etc.
One who was claiming they were looking after their kid since birth, and they weren't the mother was. It all came out recently, and your man is up for social welfare fraud.

But I think the idea that immediately after marriage the woman is entitled to 50% is fundamentally wrong.
There should be some form of incremental system based on years of marriage, and number of kids.

StormWarrior

Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.

StormWarrior

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Marriage is purely for women.
Since they have to invest a lot of their lives to bring up children they want a legally binding contract to punish the man if he leaves.

Then why do couples who don't want and never have children get married? And why is it usually men who do the asking if marriage is so terrible for them? Married men live longer than single men, it must be doing them some favours.

Biggins

SugarHigh wrote: »

Does anyone else think getting married is just a very bad idea.

No.

stovelid

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Don't you get a tax break for being a married couple?

It's beneficial if one of you is on a low wage, working part-time or not working because you are assessed as a couple.

Bad ideas about how your relationship pans out exist only in the mind of others.

Whatever you choose to do is right: whether that involves marriage or not.

/cliché

Abrasax

StormWarrior wrote: »

Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.

After what length of time?
Even if you have no kids together?

StormWarrior

Abrasax wrote: »

After what length of time?
Even if you have no kids together?

AFAIK it's as soon as you move in together and yes it's even if you have no kids.

bad2dabone

I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.

Abi

bad2dabone wrote: »

I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.

Post smells of Biggins!



:pac:

Mike 1972

SarahBM wrote: »

the laws in Ireland are very unfair. 40 years ago a woman could not collect her child benfit,

I was under the impression that it was the exact opposite and that it hadnt changed ????

i.e. a man can only get child benefit if he is the sole guardian of the kids otherwise the woman gets the money. (Even if she's earning 200 grand a year and the bloke isint earning anything)

prinz

SarahBM wrote: »

I dont believe in marriage. you don't need to spend 20 or 30 grand on a massive piss up and a piece of paper to show how much you love someone.......I just don't understand why you would bother. so much money stress and hassle. not to mention that the stress and pressure (emotional and financial) could damage your relationship.

:pac: You realise you could get married for less than a grand if you really wanted to right?

It's hilarious how the people least interested in the sacrament of marriage are usually the ones who spend the most. Irony.

Biggins

bad2dabone wrote: »

I dunno, I enjoy being married, my wife is totally amazing and i'm very happy that I've "bagsied" her for the rest of my life.

Abigayle wrote: »

Post smells of Biggins!
:pac:

He don't know yet that we are sharing the same wife.

Abrasax

StormWarrior wrote: »

AFAIK it's as soon as you move in together and yes it's even if you have no kids.

That's ridiculous.
You move in with someone and when you split up any assets you brought into the marriage are split 50/50?
How is that fair, especially if you have no kids?
Whatever you made after you got hitched, fair enough.

Madame Razz

StormWarrior wrote: »

Cohabiting could become just as dangerous if people stop getting married. In Sweden these days, so many people live with their OH without getting married that they have created a law that says if you move in with your OH and remain unmarried, you still own all of the belongings equally. And if you split up they have to be divided equally, even if you never had any intention of getting married and even if one of you paid for everything and the other paid for nothing. Similar laws could be enacted in other countries if marriage rates keep dropping.

It's the same in all Scandanavian countries. I had a Norwegian boyfriend who at one point had been totally cleaned out by an exgirlfriend and they had been together 18months. It was his house, his business, etc, and everything that he had worked for and she got half when they split up. I'm all for giving co-habiting couples rights but the scandanavian system is bordering on ridiculous.

I don't necessarily think that marriage is a waste of time; but I have zero time for this big wedding BS.

That said I'll never be in a rush to get married regardless.

bad2dabone

Abigayle wrote: »

Post smells of Biggins!



:pac:

thats true but Biggins goes on about his wife so much that it's become kind of....gay....

bonerm

Abrasax wrote: »

Whatever you made after you got hitched, fair enough.

Why even that? Heather Mills got something like £25mill for 5 years with Paul McCarthney. Did she somehow contribute that much value to his earnings over the period in question? Take away his royalties (practically all of which were activated before he even met Mills) and I doubt he even generated a fraction of that amount himself over the same period (let alone with her input).

Biggins

bad2dabone wrote: »

thats true but Biggins goes on about his wife so much that it's become kind of....gay....

:pac:



I LOVE MY WIFE NAA... NAA... NAA... :P

How do ya like them apples!