cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

orourkeda · 08-06-2010 11:21PM

f**k off you f**king cheeky mathematical c**t or i'll kick you so hard in the scrote you'll never teach again

Cormac2791 · 08-06-2010 11:32PM

What a thread!

Selected · 08-06-2010 11:32PM

I was expelled in sixth year, about two months before my Leaving, for asking a Geography teacher, on a Monday morning, first class of the dreaded day, to refrain from shouting and screaming at the guy sitting beside me, who had just released an almightily loud, and thankfully, non-pungent fart.:D

The woman was hysterical.:eek:

I merely asked her to STFU and put the situation into some kind of reasonable perspective.

That was the end of me.:(

Unfortunately, in the previous week, I broke one of the toilet bowls in the jacks (by standing on it, and I owned up to it!) while attempting to retrieve my ‘topped cigarette’ from the ledge of the divisional wall between cubicles. I would estimate my weight at the time of being around eight and a half stone.

Anyhow, school property had been damaged – and that was a mortal sin. (a bit like the consumption of biscuits/sweets, without my mother’s permission, in our house):mad:

I was allowed to return and sit my Leaving.:)

I got into college.;)

I still have to ask my mother’s permission for a biscuit.:o

jamesr123 · 08-06-2010 11:36PM

SeaFields wrote: »

Was having a bad day, got called down to vice principals office and when i got back to class the lads had taken all my stuff and put it all over the classroom. Typical thing we would do.

This is the type of thing that we do in school now, Very annoying when your the victim.

Well when I started school a few years ago I told the principal to f**k off I wasnt proud of it and I still feel bad about it but I was having some personal problems at the time and well she caught me on a bad day. That was a long suspension:(:(

who what when · 08-06-2010 11:37PM

We had a pretty sound irish teacher. As nobody in the class was even remotely interested in irish it usually turned into general class conversation for 40 minutes. Good times.

Anyway one particular day we were discussing how a different, very ugly female teacher was after having yet another child. Conversation went like this;

student 1- mrs. x is after having the baby

student 2- Whats that now, 6 or 7? Has that woman never heard of contraceptives?

me- I woulda thought looking like that was contraceptive enough for any man!

teacher- sigh

To be fair she was sound

Another one which isnt bad but is hilarious because it used to totally wind up the vice principal.
Our principal was a nun who for some reason i got on really well with but i always called her ms instead of sister what with there not being a god and everything.
This drove the vice principle up the wall. Funnily enough the nun didnt give a fcuk

Ben Hadad · 08-06-2010 11:39PM

Said to a Jesuit Priest who was talking to me.

"Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me"

shoelaceface · 08-06-2010 11:42PM

tony1kenobi wrote: »

I was thrown out of my maths class with another lad and we were told to write a 500 word essay on "the inside of a golf ball"......

.....I wrote "the inside of a golf ball is a c*nt,you're a c*nt,and while you're reading this I'm having a spliff in the bog"

I was asked to leave the school and was not invited back until they were looking for exam fees.....

WAS THAT A MUPPET OF A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER?? OR WAS THERE JUST A BATCH OF THEM HANDING OUT THAT ESSAY BECAUSE I GOT THE SAME ONE.

Selected · 08-06-2010 11:44PM

Ben Hadad wrote: »

Said to a Jesuit Priest who was talking to me.

"Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me"

Come on - we have enough problems without you adding your invented experiences.

jap gt · 08-06-2010 11:45PM

had a cnut of an english teacher got me suspended for small things so on my first day back i poured biro ink on her seat, the big red stain on back of her skirt sorted that bitch out

some_dose · 08-06-2010 11:51PM

Not me but my friend. He got a 1,000 word essay on "the sex life of a rasher" from our home economics teacher.

He wrote it too - it was excellent!

Deus Ex Machina · 08-06-2010 11:52PM

"While you're down there"

Took heat for that one.

Ben Hadad · 08-06-2010 11:52PM

Selected wrote: »

Come on - we have enough problems without you adding your invented experiences.

True story although abreviated.

He was giving out to me and I had my hands in my pockets just waiting for him to stop. He then told me to take my hands out of my pockets when he was talking to me. I did and he continued to give out to me for a whole, and then I noticed that he had his hands in his pockets, so I said, "Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me.

Normally I would never say anything, nothing to gain, however he was being a hypocrite, can't let that slide.

jdooley28 · 08-06-2010 11:57PM

Wasnt me but another guy in the class.. He was on report meaning he had to bring a sheet with him to every class where the teacher would comment on there behavior. Anyway the teacher was filling out the form and he gave him average for punctulity, quick as a flash yer turns around and says but sir i was here before you! maybe not the cheeckiest ever but i thought it was brilliant!

Redzer7 · 09-06-2010 12:08AM

Not me but one of my mates said it to the maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. The maths teacher was giving out maths sheets, algebra or some other sh!te. He left this certain student out and the student puts up his hand and says, "sir ya never gave me a sheet , whats the story with that?" the teacher replied "Peter i've giving you sheets before and you have never written anything on them" the student replies "yes I have sir" teacher then says "an what might that have been?" he replies "BATMAN" gets his coat and bag topples his chair walks up and kicks the bin and then slams the door behind him

What a legend.

jdooley28 · 09-06-2010 12:12AM

Redzer7 wrote: »

Not me but one of my mates said it to the maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. The maths teacher was giving out maths sheets, algebra or some other sh!te. He left this certain student out and the student puts up his hand and says, "sir ya never gave me a sheet , whats the story with that?" the teacher replied "Peter i've giving you sheets before and you have never written anything on them" the student replies "yes I have sir" teacher then says "an what might that have been?" he replies "BATMAN" gets his coat and bag topples his chair walks up and kicks the bin and then slams the door behind him What a legend.

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

Jigga · 09-06-2010 12:13AM

Being a dyslexic at school, my English teacher always used to insult my grammar.

So one day I said to him "You never even met her."

Redzer7 · 09-06-2010 12:16AM

jdooley28 wrote: »

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

Saying batman to a mad fùcker of a teacher who eats chalk, brave man and suffered the consequences. Legend in my eyes anyways.

stovelid · 09-06-2010 12:17AM

jdooley28 wrote: »

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

For overcoming his retardation to participate in a normal stream class, of course.

christina_x · 09-06-2010 12:17AM

one of the lads in my irish class and my irish teacher did not see eye to eye at all. The guy was wearing white runners in school (the uniform was black shoes)

Teacher:Paul.. why do you insist on wearing those *points at runners* to school??

Paul: Well sir im not sure if youv noticed, but if i didnt wearing them id be going about in my socks

MitchKoobski · 09-06-2010 12:20AM

Had an irish teacher who was an absolute cow, one of those people where her opinion is the right one and you are wrong. This happened as I walked into the class with the two french exchange students who would be with us for the week.

Me: "Miss these are the two french exchange students."
Teacher: "I'm busy right now!"
Me: "I just thought I'd introduce you...."
Teacher: "NOT NOW!"
20 minutes into the class
Teacher: "Who are you two?
French Students: "......um...."
Me: "Miss these are the french exchange students."
Teacher: "You didnt tell me they would be in the class."
Me: "Eh I did at the start of class."
Teacher: "No you didn't. Now you, where are you from and what is your name?"
French Student: "...Oscar....frahns?..."
Teacher: "Say that again and say it properly."
*French Student looks at me worried*
Me: "Eh miss he's from France he..."
Teacher: "I AM SPEAKING TO HIM ONLY! NOW WHERE ARE YOU FROM?"
Me: "I just told you!!"
Teacher: "NO YOU DIDN'T!!"
Me: "He's from France you stupid bitch! THAT'S WHY I SAID FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENTS!!"

Got called up to the principle for it but got let off after the two exchange students backed me up saying she was being mean and snobby. Turns out they both spoke good english, they just didn't want to talk to her.

Superbus · 09-06-2010 12:22AM

To an English teacher who perennially rolls his 'r's - 'You know, you shouldn't roll your 'r's. It sounds pretentious.'

He laughed, and sort of stopped doing it.

I'm such a rebel it kind of hurts.

ibFoxer · 09-06-2010 12:22AM

Jesus......

I went back to repeat some time ago and ended up trying to cram building construction into 1 year. The Teacher(and i use the term loosely) used to hound me for not being up to speed on the practical with the rest of the class. We used to do a double first thing on a tuesday after lunch where we would all get busy with the project, except for one particular tuesday where in hies infinite wisdom our "teacher" decided it would be best for all if we did theory. Needless to say i was none too happy and i lost it completely, i reckon i called him every name under the sun, so bad that he ran from the room in tears up to the principal.

Needless to say i was hailed as a legend by the rest of the idiots, but told to get my coat by the principal....... after a weeks holidays i was given 2 choices, leave or get thrown out. I chose the former.

AskMyChocolate · 09-06-2010 12:24AM

Almost obliged to post this, being AH. Happened in a mate's class not mine:

Young female English teacher describing how Shakespeare uses the juxtaposition between light and shade to signify the battle between good and evil. As an afterthought she asks,"Does everyone know what juxtaposition means?" To which one young lad pipes up, "You'd better ask Brian Cullen miss, his Ma knows every position."

DanHendrix · 09-06-2010 12:28AM

Im a movie fanatc.Will Ferrell is god.Love all his quotes so I used one,one day in class. Business teacher and I never really got on. She always recked me head and on occasion gave me detention for drinking water in class:mad: So shes recking me head one day,the day after I get let go from my part time job.I just lost it. "Suck my cock ill murder your family" I just let a roar. 4 days and a written apology!!!I regretted it immediately after

Turns out the next week im on prescription pills for stress!! Ah well!!

mink_man · 09-06-2010 12:29AM

last week of school we had an old teacher and he hated us and would be glad to see the back of us....anyway one of the lads threw a stink bomb in the classroom when he was gone out, came back, next say they were tryin to find out who it was, and we had the same teacher for theory (construction)...and he kept lookin at this particular lad because he didnt like him, anyways the lad pushed his table back in anger and shouted at the teacher...

"you think I fúckin did it ya príck, but I didn't fúckin do it ya bollix....dick!"

teahcer just said

"don't use that language in my classroom, vice principal who was interviewing us to see who did it, just walkin then and said

"right danny"

then danny knew where to go from there! :P

CD. · 09-06-2010 12:29AM

my english teacher hated me. she told me and my parents that i would fail higher level english.

i got an A2 in english and while checking an exam paper in another subject, she came over with this false smile and said "that was unexpected wasn't it?" i shrugged and said "not really" she gave me the dirtiest look then she asked if my parents were pleased with the results and prattling about how nice my mum was at the parent teacher meeting. i was getting pissed off because she was distracting me and time was running out and before i thought about what i was saying i replied "thats nice, but she thinks your a c*nt." she was shocked and just walked off.

it was true in all fairness and she left me alone.

fulhamfanincork · 09-06-2010 12:30AM

I once shot my teacher...with a gun.

pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

*Note this may not necessarily be true but I thought that I would make up a story just like 90% of you guys did.

Redzer7 · 09-06-2010 12:35AM

fulhamfanincork wrote: »

I once shot my teacher...with a gun.

pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

*Note this may not necessarily be true but I thought that I would make up a story just like 90% of you guys did.

Most of them seen pretty real to me

.

JayMul · 09-06-2010 12:36AM

When I was very young 7-8 I threw something across the class and this auld bitch of a substitute teacher spotted me.

Teacher : (at me) Stand up!
I stand up.
Teacher : repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me staring blankly.
Teacher (getting angry) : I said repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me: You're a silly goose!

SIX PACK · 09-06-2010 12:44AM

I asked a teacher once if she ever had a wet dream " she didnt tke it too kindly..-- got suspended for a week doh

cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

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