cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

paul 101

i'm in college now, but when i was in school we siad all sorts of cheecky things to ever

althought i'm not proud of it, one of our teacher was giving out to another student n i turned round n shout "ara miss, will ya stop mouthing will ya!!!" don't know why i did it

that was everyday stuff but it's just to give you an example
i hope ye share ye'r stories

Pacing Mule

Asked for her phone number.


Got detention.



Got the phone number too.



















But not from her

epgc3fyqirnbsx

She was standing in from of my desk reading from a book so I slipped a death threat into her sleave.
Obviously wasn't gonna follow through with it but she was still thick about it

pablomakaveli

When i was in first year our teacher was out sick and another techaer who happened to be our year head was supervising us for the class.

When our regular teacher was back the next day he asked "So how did you get on with the year head yesterday"

For some reason which ill never know i shouted out "She tried to rape us" as a joke. I immediatly regretted it. Anyway the teacher killed me and i was humiliating when i had to apologize to the year head.

FunkZ

The principal slagged me and straight on the button I called him Purcell Washing Up Powder!
Purcell was his second name, a good fifty kids laughed at him!

Savage Tyrant

It was a badly kept secret in our school that 2 married teachers were having an affair. The female teacher was yelling at me after a fight and called me a thug. I told her I'd rather be a thug than a cheating slag. She broke down in tears. I got suspended.

thee glitz

SeaFields

Was having a bad day, got called down to vice principals office and when i got back to class the lads had taken all my stuff and put it all over the classroom. Typical thing we would do.

I was around the room looking for the stuff when a h-dip teacher told me to sit down....i snapped, roared awful abuse into her face until she left the room crying

Still genuinely feel bad about that one.

PeteEd

Has to be

"Have you any mustard till i rub me knob in it!"

kona

I asked my art teacher:

"did you lube it up?"

Got suspended. One of my proudest moments ha:D

owenc

FunkZ wrote: »

The principal slagged me and straight on the button I called him Purcell Washing Up Powder!
Purcell was his second name, a good fifty kids laughed at him!

OMG thats what my old form teachers surname was and everyone called him the exact same thing!

Degag

Can't think of anything really. Not surprising i guess because i met my ex-principal a few weeks ago and was told i used to be "a lovely boy"

"Used to be" being the operative words i think.

BearsyBoo

I was in 3rd year when i broke my arm, the irish teacher came in and said i was lazy that anyone she taught before in an exam year woud learn to write with there left hand i replied but i learned how to **** with my left hand whole class was in tears laughing..

stepbar

Me to the Teacher: "You're some tulip...".

I was 12.....

hurleronditch

One of the maths teachers in my school had this saying that he used to keep saying, that "the A's end up working for the B's". a nice thought, and maybe not too far wrong, but i didnt need to hear it every day. One day he gave me a serious telling off for god knows what, and 5 minutes later he uttered his famous phrase to one of the very smart A students, quick as a flash i said back "and the C's will end up teaching all of our kids for us".

Lets just say it didnt go well, (bar the class all doing point and laughs at him) especially seeing when i was made repeat it to the year head, principal and vice principal, and then my mother when a letter was sent home

Made all the better by my mother being a retired maths teacher

questionmark?

me- Miss how was your weekend?

Teacher - Fine thank you mr. questionmark?

me - you sure?

Teacher - alright mr. questionmark? thats enough. Now...

me - hows ur fanny?

Teacher - WHAT DID YOU SAY (slightly red and pissed)

me - I said hows ur fanny?

Teacher - GET OUT

Me - no seriously you were scratching it there

Teacher - get out now

Me - fine but miss if you don't want people to know you were scratching your fanny you shouldn't wipe the chalk off the board with your hand first!!!! :eek:

Teacher - (gives death stare to me as the rest of the class pisses themselves)


That was what nearly seven years ago and i still remember it with a smile everytime

laugh

I shouted at a teacher "Do you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit?

No idea why, the humorless hag gave me detention too.

stovelid

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

It was a badly kept secret in our school that 2 married teachers were having an affair. The female teacher was yelling at me after a fight and called me a thug. I told her I'd rather be a thug than a cheating slag. She broke down in tears. I got suspended.

God be with the days when teachers could hospitalize students with impunity.

Dunjohn

I do remember getting in an argument with my Irish teacher who insisted that I refer to myself as "Séan" in his class. I don't remember the exact words I used but the name on my birth cert is John and the two actual Séans in the same class didn't have to use John in English class.

I hated that convention and still do. Nobody translates their own name when they're speaking another language. Yet every Irish teacher I've ever had insisted on it.

PCPhoto

not my teacher but told the principle to "F*ck off" .... got suspended

meh ... and I was in the top 15-20% of my year group (approx 150 people), 1 xA2 3xB1's 1xC1, 2xC2's and a D1 ....didnt get along with my accounting teacher !!

Savage Tyrant

hurleronditch wrote: »

One of the maths teachers in my school had this saying that he used to keep saying, that "the A's end up working for the B's". a nice thought, and maybe not too far wrong, but i didnt need to hear it every day. One day he gave me a serious telling off for god knows what, and 5 minutes later he uttered his famous phrase to one of the very smart A students, quick as a flash i said back "and the C's will end up teaching all of our kids for us".

Lets just say it didnt go well, (bar the class all doing point and laughs at him) especially seeing when i was made repeat it to the year head, principal and vice principal, and then my mother when a letter was sent home

Made all the better by my mother being a retired maths teacher

I should be allowed to triple thanks this post!! Brilliant Good Sir!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

This is one someone else said in my class but I nearly wet myslef

A teacher ran in slightly late for class one day and you could tell he had some big news as he looked like he was about to burst with excitement and he told us 'Sorry I'm late boys but my wife just had a baby!!'

Said teacher always seemed to be kinda camp then quick as a flash one of the lads replies 'Who's the father sir!?'

I've never seen a man change mood so quickly, poor man was nearly in tears, the rest of the class in stitches. Young lads are bastards!

Seloth

Not really anything said but more so done.

A teacher of ours was an awful bitch,I honestly dont know how she was a teacher,She litrally took everything as a personal insult.Well anyway we heard how the principal called her out of one class giving out to ger about somthing and were all delighted.

5 mins into class the principal comes into ours saying to come with im and bring her stuff.As soon as the door closes I leave out the biggest roar of my life laughing practically echoing through the school followed by everyone else laughing ,then the VP came in pissing herself.

She was so unpopular and a bitch that teachers kept making jokes about it in class and few people heard in the staff room that day people going "Whaeeey!!!!".

bronte

I had a very quick height growth spurt during secondary school which resulted in my previously ankle length school skirt eventually falling just above the knee. Cue the school principal pulling me in one day in the corridor.

Him:Missy are you rolling up that skirt?

Me : You don't actually think I would go to the bother of doing that to impress the cretins in this school?

Him : ...

Me: :cool:

He never bothered me again..except to tell me he liked my singing. :pac:

brummytom

In a DT class, we were discussing teacher's real names. The teacher's name came up - Timothy. Nothing was really said and we moved on.


At the end of the class, he'd annoyed me some how.
When he dismissed me, I walk out and shouted back "I hate the name Timothy"


He sent 4 lads to fetch me back, miserable prick

PeterIanStaker

About three years after I left school, I bumped into my former principal, who I thought was/is a wanker.

He came up to me as I left the restaurant where I had a summer job. I was done for the day & pretended I didn't see him, but nonetheless he came up and shook my hand, asked me what my name was (I was very quiet he only knew me to see).

me (thinks quickly) "Holmes, sir, John Holmes"

him "good to see you Mr Holmes"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Holmes_%28pornographic_actor%29

Bom-chicka-wah wah

ottostreet

last few weeks coming up to the leaving cert, our business studies class had lways been a bit rowdy, and got worse instead of better as crunch time approached.

the teacher was young, competent, but with little authority. we all mostly got on well, with the usual slagging and rare outbursts of anger from the teacher.

however, this particular class, we had blatently ignored her, wound her up and annoyed her, to the point where she exploded with anger. stood screaming at the top of the class, bright red, and clearly furious. saying that we had all done terribly in the mocks, and we were reflecting badly on her, and exams were only two weeks awaay, and we were lazy. it was...scary, seeing as how she was relatively mild mannered.

as she finished her outburst, we all stared at her in shock, as she began to realise that we had listened and were probably about to apologise. Until a paper airplane serenely floated past her head and smacked into the blackboard behind her. Cue total silence in the classroom as we waited for her vengeance.

Until her face creased and she started laughing.
\

ok i know its not exactly what was asked, but i remember it clearly!

Mr Keek

We had a muppet of a teacher giving the the shyest student grief over nothing, the poor fella only said about 7s word in his whole 5 years in school. Teacher kept at him and at him and he just roared out Fu*k off, was the first time many of us heard him speak!

Teacher calls him outside the classroom to have a word with him outside the door and the whole class start belting out the words to Ireland's Call, even the teacher was laughing, he let your man off with it in the end!

storm2811

Back in second year I think it was,maths teacher kicked me out of higher 'cause I failed some test,I walked in the next day anyway and sat down like nothing happened and I didn't have my homework done,so she asked why and said that she kicked me out for a reason so I said, "Well maybe if you could actually teach you fcukin' sweaty cow!"(she used to sweat like a feckin pig)
I had to stay back after class,it all ended in tears and me going down to ordinary level maths.:pac:

tony1kenobi

I was thrown out of my maths class with another lad and we were told to write a 500 word essay on "the inside of a golf ball"......


.....I wrote "the inside of a golf ball is a c*nt,you're a c*nt,and while you're reading this I'm having a spliff in the bog"

I was asked to leave the school and was not invited back until they were looking for exam fees.....

alwaysadub

I was kinda finished school i suppose as i was sitting my leaving, but when i came out of the leaving cert maths exams,my maths teacher(who was a nun who couldn't teach to save her life,and had kicked me out of religion class) came over to me and asked how i thought i did in the exam. I told her i didn't think i'd done very well at all,and she said to me, ah you'll pass,i've been saying prayers for you.
Results day came and she walked over to me just after i'd discoved my marks,and asked how i did in maths,that again she'd said prayers.
I turned around to her,and said "i failed,see where your fcuking praying got you now,you're as bad at that as you are at teaching"
Her face just dropped,i just turned on my heel and went back to my mates!

orourkeda

f**k off you f**king cheeky mathematical c**t or i'll kick you so hard in the scrote you'll never teach again

Cormac2791

What a thread!

Selected

I was expelled in sixth year, about two months before my Leaving, for asking a Geography teacher, on a Monday morning, first class of the dreaded day, to refrain from shouting and screaming at the guy sitting beside me, who had just released an almightily loud, and thankfully, non-pungent fart.:D

The woman was hysterical.:eek:

I merely asked her to STFU and put the situation into some kind of reasonable perspective.

That was the end of me.:(

Unfortunately, in the previous week, I broke one of the toilet bowls in the jacks (by standing on it, and I owned up to it!) while attempting to retrieve my ‘topped cigarette’ from the ledge of the divisional wall between cubicles. I would estimate my weight at the time of being around eight and a half stone.

Anyhow, school property had been damaged – and that was a mortal sin. (a bit like the consumption of biscuits/sweets, without my mother’s permission, in our house):mad:

I was allowed to return and sit my Leaving.:)

I got into college.;)

I still have to ask my mother’s permission for a biscuit.:o

jamesr123

SeaFields wrote: »

Was having a bad day, got called down to vice principals office and when i got back to class the lads had taken all my stuff and put it all over the classroom. Typical thing we would do.

This is the type of thing that we do in school now, Very annoying when your the victim.

Well when I started school a few years ago I told the principal to f**k off I wasnt proud of it and I still feel bad about it but I was having some personal problems at the time and well she caught me on a bad day. That was a long suspension:(:(

who what when

We had a pretty sound irish teacher. As nobody in the class was even remotely interested in irish it usually turned into general class conversation for 40 minutes. Good times.

Anyway one particular day we were discussing how a different, very ugly female teacher was after having yet another child. Conversation went like this;

student 1- mrs. x is after having the baby

student 2- Whats that now, 6 or 7? Has that woman never heard of contraceptives?

me- I woulda thought looking like that was contraceptive enough for any man!

teacher- sigh

To be fair she was sound



Another one which isnt bad but is hilarious because it used to totally wind up the vice principal.
Our principal was a nun who for some reason i got on really well with but i always called her ms instead of sister what with there not being a god and everything.
This drove the vice principle up the wall. Funnily enough the nun didnt give a fcuk

Ben Hadad

Said to a Jesuit Priest who was talking to me.

"Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me"

shoelaceface

tony1kenobi wrote: »

I was thrown out of my maths class with another lad and we were told to write a 500 word essay on "the inside of a golf ball"......


.....I wrote "the inside of a golf ball is a c*nt,you're a c*nt,and while you're reading this I'm having a spliff in the bog"

I was asked to leave the school and was not invited back until they were looking for exam fees.....

WAS THAT A MUPPET OF A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER?? OR WAS THERE JUST A BATCH OF THEM HANDING OUT THAT ESSAY BECAUSE I GOT THE SAME ONE.

Selected

Ben Hadad wrote: »

Said to a Jesuit Priest who was talking to me.

"Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me"

Come on - we have enough problems without you adding your invented experiences.

jap gt

had a cnut of an english teacher got me suspended for small things so on my first day back i poured biro ink on her seat, the big red stain on back of her skirt sorted that bitch out

some_dose

Not me but my friend. He got a 1,000 word essay on "the sex life of a rasher" from our home economics teacher.


He wrote it too - it was excellent!

Deus Ex Machina

"While you're down there"

Took heat for that one.

Ben Hadad

Selected wrote: »

Come on - we have enough problems without you adding your invented experiences.

True story although abreviated.

He was giving out to me and I had my hands in my pockets just waiting for him to stop. He then told me to take my hands out of my pockets when he was talking to me. I did and he continued to give out to me for a whole, and then I noticed that he had his hands in his pockets, so I said, "Father can you take your hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me.

Normally I would never say anything, nothing to gain, however he was being a hypocrite, can't let that slide.

jdooley28

Wasnt me but another guy in the class.. He was on report meaning he had to bring a sheet with him to every class where the teacher would comment on there behavior. Anyway the teacher was filling out the form and he gave him average for punctulity, quick as a flash yer turns around and says but sir i was here before you! maybe not the cheeckiest ever but i thought it was brilliant!

Redzer7

Not me but one of my mates said it to the maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. The maths teacher was giving out maths sheets, algebra or some other sh!te. He left this certain student out and the student puts up his hand and says, "sir ya never gave me a sheet , whats the story with that?" the teacher replied "Peter i've giving you sheets before and you have never written anything on them" the student replies "yes I have sir" teacher then says "an what might that have been?" he replies "BATMAN" gets his coat and bag topples his chair walks up and kicks the bin and then slams the door behind him What a legend.

jdooley28

Redzer7 wrote: »

Not me but one of my mates said it to the maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. The maths teacher was giving out maths sheets, algebra or some other sh!te. He left this certain student out and the student puts up his hand and says, "sir ya never gave me a sheet , whats the story with that?" the teacher replied "Peter i've giving you sheets before and you have never written anything on them" the student replies "yes I have sir" teacher then says "an what might that have been?" he replies "BATMAN" gets his coat and bag topples his chair walks up and kicks the bin and then slams the door behind him What a legend.

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

Jigga

Being a dyslexic at school, my English teacher always used to insult my grammar.

So one day I said to him "You never even met her."

Redzer7

jdooley28 wrote: »

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

Saying batman to a mad fùcker of a teacher who eats chalk, brave man and suffered the consequences. Legend in my eyes anyways.

stovelid

jdooley28 wrote: »

Eh, why is he a ledgend?

For overcoming his retardation to participate in a normal stream class, of course.

christina_x

one of the lads in my irish class and my irish teacher did not see eye to eye at all. The guy was wearing white runners in school (the uniform was black shoes)

Teacher:Paul.. why do you insist on wearing those *points at runners* to school??

Paul: Well sir im not sure if youv noticed, but if i didnt wearing them id be going about in my socks

MitchKoobski

Had an irish teacher who was an absolute cow, one of those people where her opinion is the right one and you are wrong. This happened as I walked into the class with the two french exchange students who would be with us for the week.

Me: "Miss these are the two french exchange students."
Teacher: "I'm busy right now!"
Me: "I just thought I'd introduce you...."
Teacher: "NOT NOW!"
20 minutes into the class
Teacher: "Who are you two?
French Students: "......um...."
Me: "Miss these are the french exchange students."
Teacher: "You didnt tell me they would be in the class."
Me: "Eh I did at the start of class."
Teacher: "No you didn't. Now you, where are you from and what is your name?"
French Student: "...Oscar....frahns?..."
Teacher: "Say that again and say it properly."
*French Student looks at me worried*
Me: "Eh miss he's from France he..."
Teacher: "I AM SPEAKING TO HIM ONLY! NOW WHERE ARE YOU FROM?"
Me: "I just told you!!"
Teacher: "NO YOU DIDN'T!!"
Me: "He's from France you stupid bitch! THAT'S WHY I SAID FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENTS!!"

Got called up to the principle for it but got let off after the two exchange students backed me up saying she was being mean and snobby. Turns out they both spoke good english, they just didn't want to talk to her.