When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend

maxxie · 07-06-2010 07:52PM

when you have heard her fanny fart

Erica<3 · 07-06-2010 07:55PM

If she's worth anything, she will NOT break up with you just because you've farted. It's never bothered me in the past when old boyfriends did it, after a few weeks/when you've been fairly intimate not just sex.

However, I would NEVER do it in front of a boyfriend. EVER.

starbelgrade · 07-06-2010 08:12PM

Erica<3 wrote: »

If she's worth anything, she will NOT break up with you just because you've farted. It's never bothered me in the past when old boyfriends did it, after a few weeks/when you've been fairly intimate not just sex.

However, I would NEVER do it in front of a boyfriend. EVER.

See, this is the reason why you have all those ads on the TV for "feeling bloated", which are obviously aimed at women. Newsflash - you are not bloated - you are just holding in your farts.

And worst of all, you women let them all out at night when you are asleep, which really doesn't help as they are even more toxic after they've been building up a head of steam all day.

Men might use the "dutch oven", but it was a woman who invented it!

SIX PACK · 07-06-2010 08:13PM

maxxie wrote: »

when you have heard her fanny fart

thats wrong

maxxie · 07-06-2010 08:15PM

SIX PACK wrote: »

thats wrong

noway man, its a good sign

Cheap Thrills! · 07-06-2010 08:17PM

starbelgrade wrote: »

you are just holding in your farts.

There's two types of women;

those who fake their orgasms and 'hold in their farts' and........

........the rest of us! :cool::P

aDeener · 07-06-2010 08:25PM

jiltloop wrote: »

I fart around my girlfriend and I'm pretty potent! I've even developed what I call a sphincter scale so i can rate the smell of my farts. If its up around an 8.5 she knows its time to evacuate the room.
I even woke her up once from farting in the bed and it wasn't from the noise it was from the smell. Thats my proudest farting moment, still makes me laugh to this day.

sorry to burst your bubble but you didnt - your sense of smell cant wake you up

cheekyass · 07-06-2010 08:32PM

First time my boyfriend was invited to our family home for Christmas he was in the shower and let a MASSIVE one rip......not knowing my father was in bed in the next room

CamperMan · 07-06-2010 08:35PM

just be yourself, don't hold back, if you want to fart then do so, the louder the better!

EraseAndRewind · 07-06-2010 08:36PM

as im reading this my hubbie is farting away and it doesnt bother me at all:pac:

its a natural thing and not a big deal-dont get why people see it as such a taboo:rolleyes:

CamperMan · 07-06-2010 08:42PM

EraseAndRewind wrote: »

as im reading this my hubbie is farting away and it doesnt bother me at all:pac:

its a natural thing and not a big deal-dont get why people see it as such a taboo:rolleyes:

what about if it's a real stinker?

Wibbs · 07-06-2010 09:23PM

SIX PACK wrote: »

Man your too shallow,& living in fantacy land,
you need to be on your own.

Spell czech forum ahoy... So now having some manners and decorum is considered shallow and fantasy land, is it? Meh, not to me its not. As for letting one go in her sleep, not an issue as it cant be helped. Though one I remember was going all night like an air compressor which was off putting. Crap diet though.

wobblyknees · 07-06-2010 09:27PM

MJ23 wrote: »

When with a new bit of fluff, after going out a few times, things going well?
How long can wait til you're comfortable enough to squeeze one out in their presense ?
Wait til after you've done the business ?

First time she is sitting on your face I'd say.

EraseAndRewind · 07-06-2010 10:08PM

CamperMan wrote: »

what about if it's a real stinker?

the skinkier the better :pac:

Twilightning · 07-06-2010 10:15PM

OP, do you know what a Dutch Oven is? I suggest you master and harness it for the greater good.

barakus · 07-06-2010 10:34PM

I try not to do fart in front of the girlfriend.
I let rip loudly in other rooms where she can obviously hear it but she doesnt mention it.
Its on of my top tips for keeping the romance alive in a relationship;)

Chewbacca. · 07-06-2010 10:51PM

I'm surprised you can get a girlfriend OP .

I hope she vomits violently in your face when you fart ,and then leaves you.

rainbow kirby · 07-06-2010 10:57PM

ScienceNerd wrote: »

If I was with a hot girl and she let one rip I'd give her a high 5.

Honestly? I'd be the same. Farts, though usually nasty, are also one of the most hilarious of body functions and need to be appreciated as such. :pac:

Midnight_EG · 07-06-2010 10:57PM

The true sign of love is when you do that first Dutch Oven and she doesn't slap you...she simply puts your head under and lets off a stinkier one :P

AckwelFoley · 07-06-2010 11:00PM

When is the best time to fart in front of a girlfriend?

Before you even say hello i feel.

I tend to go close to a group of women, drop the bombshell and the last one standing gets asked out.

Bob Z · 07-06-2010 11:45PM

SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

You've been holding it in years??!! You need to let it out quick or you'll explode!!

Boxoffrogs · 07-06-2010 11:55PM

jokettle wrote: »

It's never a good idea. I got so annoyed at my bf doing it with me there that he now leaves the room of he has to let rip.

Ah jokettle, think about the harm it will do to his insides if you make him all self conscious about it.

I had an ex who, every time he came shopping with me always let fly with his chicken pie in girls clothes shops. He would usually hide sniggering in between the rails, while all around would think that the wiff was emanating from me.

At home is fine tho, once you receive a little warning.

Offy · 08-06-2010 12:56AM

Curl up in a ball and ask her to hug you from behind. If she doesnt kill you marry her.

vicecreamsundae · 08-06-2010 08:59PM

from day one! i would neverr even think "oh i should hold it in cos he's in the room". we can be walking down the street and i'll say "cup it!" and he knows that means im about to pop, and sometimes he even humours me and cups it while i do. hahahahahahahahaha i love it.

Junco Partner · 08-06-2010 09:03PM

danger **** and farts in front of loved ones
i dont think i've ever loved a forum as much as i love you AH

Oblomov · 08-06-2010 09:24PM

I was in Newark Airport in the early hours of the morning with my two daughters, the place was deserted, or so I thought... we were walking along and I felt the need to pass wind..... lovely expression, so freely and with feeling.....

Only to have a woman walk passed us, she looked across and smiled.

Later in the departure lounge she came up and sat with us, smiled and said, I couldn't believe there were two of you with straight faces and it was only that your younger daughter was smiling, otherwise I would have thought I had imagined it.

We chatted and she even borrowed my newly purchased Joke book.

Katie of Newark, she was lovely.

LOL

Midnight_EG · 08-06-2010 10:25PM

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

from day one! i would neverr even think "oh i should hold it in cos he's in the room". we can be walking down the street and i'll say "cup it!" and he knows that means im about to pop, and sometimes he even humours me and cups it while i do. hahahahahahahahaha i love it.

Will you eh....will you marry me?

Lord Nikon · 08-06-2010 11:48PM

Either I'm really drunk after half a pint of cider, or this thread is full of the bests posts to make in laugh in a long time.

yeah? · 09-06-2010 02:49AM

DUTCH OVEN HER!

quicklickpaddy · 09-06-2010 03:17AM

I f*cking love this thread.

I've dutch ovened my last 3 girlfriends (I like to think of it as a rite de passage) and I'm still with my current one now too!

I remember I was only going out with my ex about a week or so but we were lying down on a couch watching Lost. A week in I was a bit dubious about farting in front of her so I was holding them in but for some reason everytime I did they just came back a minute later with more force. Eventually I decided that I was fighting a losing battle and decided to let it rip. Couldn't have timed it worse because there was a dramatic silence from the T.V. and she literally jumped in shock and fell off the couch. I broke my shite laughing and she just went with it.

Better yet, I was in her house and we were just talking to her mother. Mid sentence she accidentally slips out a very loud "old-woman fart" her eye's just opened wide and she ran away. Probably one of the funniest moments of my life.

Fart jokes are hilarious. No question

When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend

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