When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend

MJ23

When with a new bit of fluff, after going out a few times, things going well?
How long can wait til you're comfortable enough to squeeze one out in their presense ?
Wait til after you've done the business ?

Gordon

Start as you mean to go on. So when you ask her out that's probably the best time in your relationship to drop a bomb. If she agrees to go out with you after that, you're on to a winner!

The_Kew_Tour

get married and then she cant get out and you can let it out

Cheap Thrills!

Definitely wait until after you've done the biz.

Directly after both parties admit they are in love with each other the farting can begin to be phased in.

orourkeda

after ridin' her

starbelgrade

When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend?

When her face is near your ass.

SoupyNorman

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

galwayrush

For her sake, probably not a good idea, for your own sake, it's better to let it out rather than store it.:p

Donkey Oaty

Preface it with "Hang on - this is going to be a good good one..." and then award it marks out of ten for volume, tone, odour, etc.

Dr Strange

Best wait til she drops one first. After that it's open season.

studiorat

Probably around the same time as she figures out that you snore like a wart hog.

Cheap Thrills!

SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

I will never be able to understand how this is possible!

I mean fair play to you and all but.....how?

And can I ask do you fart in front of your family....?

The Aussie

Classic thread title...

ejmaztec

SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

Must have been a great day when you finally unplugged the cork from your arse and let rip.

MJ23

SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

5 years, are you mad ? Thats some self control you've got there, fúckin hell. Is she a nun or something ?

henryporter

Best to get it over with now - nothing as painful as trapped wind. Break it to her gently!

SoupyNorman

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

I will never be able to understand how this is possible!

I mean fair play to you and all but.....how?

And can I ask do you fart in front of your family....?

ejmaztec wrote: »

Must have been a great day when you finally unplugged the cork from your arse and let rip.

MJ23 wrote: »

5 years, are you mad ? Thats some self control you've got there, fúckin hell. Is she a nun or something ?

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

Cheap Thrills!

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

Phew !!! thank fcuk for that! :pac:

*trumps like a duck*

Jaxxy

Men fart. Women fart. Tis natural.

martyboy48

Ah sure just let rip... After you've done the bizz with her, you can move on to stage 2, putting her hand over it before blasting

This advanced maths equation explains all

ejmaztec

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

I bet you're one of these people who bought a dog, with the sole intention of blaming the mutt when the air turns green.:eek:

TheZohanS

True story:

I was dating a girl and I hadn't got passed the "fart beside her in bed" stage. So being a gentleman I decide to get out of bed and head to the loo to have a discreet fart.

Anyhue I get as far as the door and she asks me a question, in the middle of answering her I sneeze...and with it came the fart that I'd been holding in... the sneeze was kinda loud but the fart was louder....

Son Of A Vidic

Bringing 'everything' out into the open is good good for a relationship.

bonerm

You can let out a quiet one in your coffin if you're really really good.

Rented Mule

Right after the first time you bang her.

Pull the duvet over her head and let loose with the auld 'dutch oven'.

PeterIanStaker

TheZohan wrote: »

True story:

I was dating a girl and I hadn't got passed the "fart beside her in bed" stage. So being a gentleman I decide to get out of bed and head to the loo to have a discreet fart.

Anyhue I get as far as the door and she asks me a question, in the middle of answering her I sneeze...and with it came the fart that I'd been holding in... the sneeze was kinda loud but the fart was louder....

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, do you do a backflip??

TheZohanS

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, do you do a backflip??

No, unfortunately.

Son Of A Vidic

When I was with my girlfriend of a few weeks(now my wife) we were home late one Saturday night, I was bursting for p1ss. I go into the loo, forgot to close the living room door and forgot to close the bathroom door - It was an emergency p1ss(lads will understand) My bladder was almost ruptured holding it in, mid-flow a huge Fart slipped out. I froze for several minutes, when I eventually summoned the courage and crawled back to herself. She was virtually on the ground crying with laughter - I knew then she was the love of my life.

bonerm

medicman2009 wrote: »

When I was with my girlfriend of a few weeks(now my wife) we were home late one Saturday night, I was bursting for p1ss. I go into the loo, forgot to close the living room door and forgot to close the bathroom door - It was an emergency p1ss(lads will understand) My bladder was almost ruptured holding it in, mid-flow a huge Fart slipped out. I froze for several minutes, when I eventually summoned the courage and crawled back to herself. She was virtually on the ground crying with laughter - I knew then she was the love of my life.

It's hard to find a woman who enjoys toilet humour.

Cheap Thrills!

bonerm wrote: »

It's hard to find a woman who enjoys toilet humour.

*ahem, coughs*

Kiera

TheZohan wrote: »

True story:

I was dating a girl and I hadn't got passed the "fart beside her in bed" stage. So being a gentleman I decide to get out of bed and head to the loo to have a discreet fart.

Anyhue I get as far as the door and she asks me a question, in the middle of answering her I sneeze...and with it came the fart that I'd been holding in... the sneeze was kinda loud but the fart was louder....

lmao! Could have been worse, it could have been a shart!

GLaDOS

If she got pissed off by tat sort of thing she wouldn't be my girlfriend

jokettle

It's never a good idea. I got so annoyed at my bf doing it with me there that he now leaves the room of he has to let rip.

irishejit

I'd go straight ahead and tear away so to speak!!!!

I've got far worse habits and foyballs than that so better to break her in quickly!

stovelid

It's ok to do non-lethal ones in her company but it's best to indulge in chemical warfare. alone - or at least in the company of other male aficionados.

bmw535d

where ever you may be let your wind go free,
church or chapel let it rattle.

FlutterinBantam

Aptly handled there Bud:rolleyes:


'Foibles'

Sweet Jeebus, where do we get them.

Cheap Thrills!

Once the immortal three little words* have been uttered then it's open season!!











*smell my wind

bronte

:eek: It's never okay. Don't get me wrong...they sound hilarious....but it's not something you want to associate with the person you're supposed to be sexually attracted to. :eek:

Cheap Thrills!

http://gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2007/08/farty-pants.jpg

GLaDOS

bronte wrote: »

:eek: It's never okay. Don't get me wrong...they sound hilarious....but it's not something you want to associate with the person you're supposed to be sexually attracted to. :eek:

If I was with a hot girl and she let one rip I'd give her a high 5.

mikom

I like to combine it with our first "rusty trombone"

irishejit

mikom wrote: »

I like to combine it with our first "rusty trombone"

That would put a whole different slant on the Lurpak adverts...

Cheap Thrills!

hur hur hur trump-bone !!!

bronte

ScienceNerd wrote: »

If I was with a hot girl and she let one rip I'd give her a high 5.

But it's gas....from your innards :eek:

My male friends won't even fart around me, let alone the O.H.

They know I'd kill them. :mad:

GLaDOS

bronte wrote: »

But it's gas....from your innards :eek:

So? When you think about it, a lot of bodily functions are weird, including sex, no use getting caught up about it I feel.

abouttobebanned

Hand down pants...pull aside ass cheek for maximum release. A good clean, crisp fart. It's the act of the hand down the trousers that offends her rather than the actual fart.

I understand fully tbh

orourkeda

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Hand down pants...pull aside ass cheek for maximum release. A good clean, crisp fart. It's the act of the hand down the trousers that offends her rather than the actual fart.

I understand fully tbh

could you not just lift one of your arsecheeks up off the seat

abouttobebanned

orourkeda wrote: »

could you not just lift one of your arsecheeks up off the seat

That doesn't do it

orourkeda

abouttobebanned wrote: »

That doesn't do it

It does. You can give it some extra juice doing it that way.