Not more puns......

Kent Brockman · 26-05-2010 07:51PM #1

I went rowing for the 1st time recently and was a little nervous.
Another guy boarded in front of me (it was an 8 man scull), it was his 1st time too and he was also a bit nervous.........
Guess that put us in the same boat:pac::pac::pac:

do your worst, you know you want too

kjl · 26-05-2010 07:54PM

Kent Brockman wrote: »

I went rowing for the 1st time recently and was a little nervous.
Another guy boarded in front of me (it was an 8 man scull), it was his 1st time too and he was also a bit nervous.........
Guess that put us in the same boat:pac::pac::pac:

do your worst, you know you want too

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Daemos · 26-05-2010 07:54PM

Walking down the street today I ran into my old friend Robert, who asked me if he could borrow €1000. As I handed over the money I felt like I was being robbed.

mikom · 26-05-2010 07:56PM

Whats long, pink and has a helmet on the end.....

My dick. Sorry, were you expecting a pun ?

Karl Hungus · 26-05-2010 07:56PM

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

abouttobebanned · 26-05-2010 07:57PM

My two dogs went missing for 3 days. Went they came back I got them some micro-chips. They looked starving.

WindSock · 26-05-2010 08:06PM

Kent Brockman wrote: »

I went rowing for the 1st time recently and was a little nervous.
Another guy boarded in front of me (it was an 8 man scull), it was his 1st time too and he was also a bit nervous.........
Guess that put us in the same boat:pac::pac::pac:

do your worst, you know you want too

Were you punting down the Thames?

yoshytoshy · 26-05-2010 08:12PM

Sitting on the bus minding my own business ,when a blind lady who had been talking to a friend ,gets up and presses the bell.

As the bus stopped the woman getting off the bus yelled ,I'll see ye next week.

bonerm · 26-05-2010 08:53PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sOynxd76eU

bluto63 · 26-05-2010 09:01PM

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank.

This proves once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

take everything · 26-05-2010 09:38PM

Karl Hungus wrote: »

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Meta-puns FTW.

PK2008 · 26-05-2010 09:57PM

Suggested to my mates to go for a few pints out in the Guinness Storehouse but it didnt happen...........

............I literally couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery

True story

stovelid · 26-05-2010 11:13PM

Anybody else suffering from pun performance anxiety?

gollem_1975 · 26-05-2010 11:18PM

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns

Rhyme · 26-05-2010 11:23PM

stovelid wrote: »

Anybody else suffering from pun performance anxiety?

Well there is a lot of stiff competition.

Kent Brockman · 27-05-2010 10:05AM

Rhyme wrote: »

Well there is a lot of stiff competition.

There is Viagra for that sort of thing.
Accidently got some in my eye the other day. Did nothing for the performance but I certainly looked hard...

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:20AM

One egg is un oeuf for any Frenchman...

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:23AM

Seven days without a pun makes one weak...

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:29AM

The optician fell into the lens-making machine and made a spectacle of himself

Killer Pigeon · 27-05-2010 10:29AM

These puns hurt my head.

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:30AM

My friend got fired from the orange juice factory for a lack of concentration

Standard Toaster · 27-05-2010 10:31AM

I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
The job was only so-so anyhow.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

:pac:

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:32AM

Athiesm is a non-prophet organisation

massdebater · 27-05-2010 10:34AM

Poloice were called to a creche where a 3 year old was resisting a rest

ok il stop...

wonton · 27-05-2010 11:22AM

what d'ya call the money you spend on condoms??

............johny cash

bazmaiden · 27-05-2010 11:25AM

was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me 'son.' I
said, 'Why do you call me 'son'? You're not my father.' He said, 'I brought you
up, didn't I?'

Without geometry, life is pointless

I quit my job in the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

Im a paronoid schizophrenic, but you know what they say

Abrasax · 27-05-2010 11:26AM

A girl walked into a bar, spotted a waiter and asked him for a double entendre.
So he gave her one.

Kent Brockman · 27-05-2010 01:10PM

I bought a teddy for a tenner and called him Mohammed.
I then sold him for eleven quid.
Looks like i made a Profit..

Sykk · 27-05-2010 02:44PM

I wanted to open a bakery, but I couldn't raise the dough.

Twin-go · 27-05-2010 02:45PM

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

ejmaztec · 27-05-2010 03:04PM

Kent Brockman wrote: »

I went rowing for the 1st time recently and was a little nervous.
Another guy boarded in front of me (it was an 8 man scull), it was his 1st time too and he was also a bit nervous.........
Guess that put us in the same boat:pac::pac::pac:

do your worst, you know you want too

He was probably worried about the cox at the back.

Not more puns......

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