Best Way To Deal With Wrong Numbers

landsleaving · 24-05-2010 02:07PM #1

I get fairly regular (2-3 times a week, sometimes more depending on time of year) calls from people looking for a local secondary school, which my number is very similar to.

Now since I work from home, and study there a lot, this is getting pretty darned irritating, it's been happening for years. So I've decided to make the most of it. All calls coming during school hours are wrong numbers, so I'm going to answer the phone and pretend I'm there at work.

How can I best prank the unsuspecting parent? I was just going to pretend their child was smoking/doing drugs/not in school at all, but maybe AH can do better?

stovelid · 24-05-2010 02:08PM

Air horn.

Danbo! · 24-05-2010 02:11PM

When they ask for a particular person, just say 'speaking' and arrange meetings, etc. As time goes on, elaborate a bit and see if you can plan meetings in ridiculous places for ridiculous reasons.

Or just say 'speaking' and then 'fuck off'

krudler · 24-05-2010 02:12PM

look up "best prank call ever" on youtube, take some hints from that

January · 24-05-2010 02:12PM

Got a wrong number call once.... it was at 6am... WHO THE **** RINGS SOMEONE AT 6AM?? When I told her she had the wrong number she said sorry and hung up. Two minutes later the phone rang again, same person...

pjmn · 24-05-2010 02:12PM

Tell them you are putting them on hold - place phone close to CD player playing whatever music you want - check every hour!

Lando Griffin · 24-05-2010 02:13PM

Congrat the parent on becomming a grandparent and everyone at the school is supporting the parent and child.

ya-ba-da-ba-doo · 24-05-2010 02:13PM

Stick on a german voice,

"Hallo es ist Hitlaar speaking, How may i halp yow??"

or you could go for the pervy approach,

"Hayyy, whatcha doooin'? No you hang up! etc."

IvySlayer · 24-05-2010 02:13PM

If the number is private don't answer it. It their number does come up, write it down and then block it.

biko · 24-05-2010 02:17PM

Have a tape with gunfire on in the background, answer calmly and say "There's a bit of a situation here right now, can I ring you back"?

AnonoBoy · 24-05-2010 02:18PM

Pretend you're whoever they're looking for and then as they talk just make quiet lip-smacking satisfied noises for a while before saying, "I'm sorry I'm going to have to put you on hold for a moment while my secretary finishes this blowjob" put the phone down and roar "Yes! God lord yes! YES! YES! YES!!!!!! Jaysus Peadar you're getting better all the time."

Then pick up the phone again, cough politely and say "Please continue."

OutlawPete · 24-05-2010 02:18PM

I joined BT two years ago and they gave me a new number.

Ever since this woman keeps ringing from a local Credit Union and asking for Marie.

I told her it was a new number but she keeps phonging every month or so in hope that Marie will answer.

When I tell her again that Marie doesn't live here and that it's a new number I was given ... she says: "Hhhhmmmmm..".

I suppose I could ring the Credit Union but I'm not that bothered.

Why post it on the internet then you might say.

Good point.

BehindTheScenes · 24-05-2010 02:21PM

Say hello ask who they are looking for and leave them on hold until they get fed up.

WindSock · 24-05-2010 02:21PM

"Ahoy, ahoy! No, this is *******. I suggest you need more practice operating your telephone machine!''

* = Phone number and not SPARTA.

Macsimus · 24-05-2010 02:22PM

Forward your phone to a sex line during school hours.... the most expensive one you can find........ in Australia!!!

who knows, you might even be able to arrange a referral commission.

stovelid · 24-05-2010 02:22PM

Use this for inspiration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdYE6MJjLsU

Hande hoche! · 24-05-2010 02:24PM

Start screaming at them in a foreign language. Alternatively refer to them as Red Fox and make obscure references to packages arriving.

Ruu_Old · 24-05-2010 02:28PM

Use one of the many celebrity soundboards available. Arnold soundboard.

harney · 24-05-2010 02:30PM

"...are you calling about the PE teacher having sex with your child? no? eh never mind, how can I help you?"

brummytom · 24-05-2010 02:35PM

"You're calling about Declan? Ah, God rest his soul.

You didn't know?"

chillywilly · 24-05-2010 02:43PM

use this for inspiration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWIMRKq2eZI

Biggins · 24-05-2010 02:43PM

stovelid wrote: »

Air horn.

...Or genuine ref' whistle. :pac:

My mother years ago used to get loads (and I mean LOADS) of calls weekly that were meant to be for Mosney holiday camp when it was running.
She even offered Mosney to take bookings for them - seriously!

We eventually moved home (not because of the calls) and that sorted that - but we pitied the poor unfortunate that might have gotten our old number while the camp was further then, still running. :pac:

Dravokivich · 24-05-2010 02:46PM

"OI... I siad I want the President! Get him on the line... or I start shooting the hostages!"

monkeyfudge · 24-05-2010 02:48PM

Used to get calls from people looking for UCI all the time in my old office.

Christ! The majority of people are incredibly rude when they get a wrong number. It's like they want it to somehow be your fault that they got the number wrong...

Forest Master · 24-05-2010 02:52PM

stovelid wrote: »

Air horn.

Prank fail.

Why does everyone always this this is the way to 'pwn' people on a phone? If you let off an air horn, it'll be far louder for YOU than it would be for teh caller who's listening down a trebley DTMF phone line. You'd be deafer than the caller - DUH!

Victor · 24-05-2010 10:48PM

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Used to get calls from people looking for UCI all the time in my old office.

And did you not take their credit card details?

CrazyRabbit · 25-05-2010 12:03AM

Get a side job as a telesales agent. Whenever someone calls by mistake, you can try sell stuff to them. At least they can't complain about cold calling.

Idjit · 25-05-2010 12:06AM

Answer calmly, ask what it is they want, when they start talking; Make a blood curdling scream for every second word they speak.If they are adamant enough to explain what they want all the way through your terrifying screaming, congratulate them on passing the test and that their prize is they get to know they have the wrong number. If they don't make it through, you've got one less caller gauranteed XD

monkeyfudge · 25-05-2010 12:49AM

Victor wrote: »

And did you not take their credit card details?

No. I was happy with advising them not to see Michael Bay movies.

ElaElaElano · 25-05-2010 03:52AM

This reminds me, prank calls were great weren't they? I used to spend all me Saturday afternoons ringing people pretending to be Larry Gogan and they'd won ten grand.

The fact that I hadn't yet hit puberty and was pretending to be Larry Gogan might, in hindsight, explain why not one person ever took it seriously.

i.need.a.job · 25-05-2010 04:38AM

people are forever ringing me thinking im a shower door company in dublin. iv rang 11811 numerous times about this and they still havent changed it so i think ill resort to mischief now

''sure, ill be over aroun half ten luv, ill be able to do a quicker job if ya grease up the shower door with margerine half an hour before i call. it'll come out easy an i'll be able fit the new one no bother...''

Best Way To Deal With Wrong Numbers

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