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Best Way To Deal With Wrong Numbers

  • 24-05-2010 1:07pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,345 ✭✭✭


    I get fairly regular (2-3 times a week, sometimes more depending on time of year) calls from people looking for a local secondary school, which my number is very similar to.

    Now since I work from home, and study there a lot, this is getting pretty darned irritating, it's been happening for years. So I've decided to make the most of it. All calls coming during school hours are wrong numbers, so I'm going to answer the phone and pretend I'm there at work.

    How can I best prank the unsuspecting parent? I was just going to pretend their child was smoking/doing drugs/not in school at all, but maybe AH can do better?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Air horn.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,942 ✭✭✭Danbo!


    When they ask for a particular person, just say 'speaking' and arrange meetings, etc. As time goes on, elaborate a bit and see if you can plan meetings in ridiculous places for ridiculous reasons.

    Or just say 'speaking' and then 'fuck off'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    look up "best prank call ever" on youtube, take some hints from that


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Got a wrong number call once.... it was at 6am... WHO THE **** RINGS SOMEONE AT 6AM?? When I told her she had the wrong number she said sorry and hung up. Two minutes later the phone rang again, same person...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,072 ✭✭✭pjmn


    Tell them you are putting them on hold - place phone close to CD player playing whatever music you want - check every hour!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    Congrat the parent on becomming a grandparent and everyone at the school is supporting the parent and child.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 884 ✭✭✭ya-ba-da-ba-doo


    Stick on a german voice,

    "Hallo es ist Hitlaar speaking, How may i halp yow??"


    or you could go for the pervy approach,


    "Hayyy, whatcha doooin'? No you hang up! etc."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,190 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    If the number is private don't answer it. It their number does come up, write it down and then block it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Have a tape with gunfire on in the background, answer calmly and say "There's a bit of a situation here right now, can I ring you back"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Pretend you're whoever they're looking for and then as they talk just make quiet lip-smacking satisfied noises for a while before saying, "I'm sorry I'm going to have to put you on hold for a moment while my secretary finishes this blowjob" put the phone down and roar "Yes! God lord yes! YES! YES! YES!!!!!! Jaysus Peadar you're getting better all the time."

    Then pick up the phone again, cough politely and say "Please continue."


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    I joined BT two years ago and they gave me a new number.

    Ever since this woman keeps ringing from a local Credit Union and asking for Marie.

    I told her it was a new number but she keeps phonging every month or so in hope that Marie will answer.

    When I tell her again that Marie doesn't live here and that it's a new number I was given ... she says: "Hhhhmmmmm..".

    I suppose I could ring the Credit Union but I'm not that bothered.

    Why post it on the internet then you might say.

    Good point.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 354 ✭✭BehindTheScenes


    Say hello ask who they are looking for and leave them on hold until they get fed up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    "Ahoy, ahoy! No, this is *******. I suggest you need more practice operating your telephone machine!''











    * = Phone number and not SPARTA.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 209 ✭✭Macsimus


    Forward your phone to a sex line during school hours.... the most expensive one you can find........ in Australia!!!

    who knows, you might even be able to arrange a referral commission.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,896 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    Start screaming at them in a foreign language. Alternatively refer to them as Red Fox and make obscure references to packages arriving.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Use one of the many celebrity soundboards available. Arnold soundboard.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,215 ✭✭✭harney


    "...are you calling about the PE teacher having sex with your child? no? eh never mind, how can I help you?" :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    "You're calling about Declan? Ah, God rest his soul.




    You didn't know?"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,794 ✭✭✭chillywilly




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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    stovelid wrote: »
    Air horn.
    ...Or genuine ref' whistle. :pac:

    My mother years ago used to get loads (and I mean LOADS) of calls weekly that were meant to be for Mosney holiday camp when it was running.
    She even offered Mosney to take bookings for them - seriously!

    We eventually moved home (not because of the calls) and that sorted that - but we pitied the poor unfortunate that might have gotten our old number while the camp was further then, still running. :pac:


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    "OI... I siad I want the President! Get him on the line... or I start shooting the hostages!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    Used to get calls from people looking for UCI all the time in my old office.

    Christ! The majority of people are incredibly rude when they get a wrong number. It's like they want it to somehow be your fault that they got the number wrong...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Forest Master


    stovelid wrote: »
    Air horn.
    Prank fail.

    Why does everyone always this this is the way to 'pwn' people on a phone? If you let off an air horn, it'll be far louder for YOU than it would be for teh caller who's listening down a trebley DTMF phone line. You'd be deafer than the caller - DUH!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,574 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Used to get calls from people looking for UCI all the time in my old office.
    And did you not take their credit card details?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Get a side job as a telesales agent. Whenever someone calls by mistake, you can try sell stuff to them. At least they can't complain about cold calling.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 853 ✭✭✭Idjit


    Answer calmly, ask what it is they want, when they start talking; Make a blood curdling scream for every second word they speak.If they are adamant enough to explain what they want all the way through your terrifying screaming, congratulate them on passing the test and that their prize is they get to know they have the wrong number. If they don't make it through, you've got one less caller gauranteed XD


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    Victor wrote: »
    And did you not take their credit card details?

    No. I was happy with advising them not to see Michael Bay movies.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭ElaElaElano


    This reminds me, prank calls were great weren't they? I used to spend all me Saturday afternoons ringing people pretending to be Larry Gogan and they'd won ten grand.

    The fact that I hadn't yet hit puberty and was pretending to be Larry Gogan might, in hindsight, explain why not one person ever took it seriously.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 246 ✭✭i.need.a.job


    people are forever ringing me thinking im a shower door company in dublin. iv rang 11811 numerous times about this and they still havent changed it so i think ill resort to mischief now :D

    ''sure, ill be over aroun half ten luv, ill be able to do a quicker job if ya grease up the shower door with margerine half an hour before i call. it'll come out easy an i'll be able fit the new one no bother...''


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 670 ✭✭✭Tail Wagger


    I get fairly regular (2-3 times a week, sometimes more depending on time of year) calls from people looking for a local secondary school, which my number is very similar to.

    Now since I work from home, and study there a lot, this is getting pretty darned irritating, it's been happening for years. So I've decided to make the most of it. All calls coming during school hours are wrong numbers, so I'm going to answer the phone and pretend I'm there at work.

    How can I best prank the unsuspecting parent? I was just going to pretend their child was smoking/doing drugs/not in school at all, but maybe AH can do better?

    Sounds a bit immature to me?..... If you know that people phone during school hours, just leave on your answering machine, or let it ring out?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 666 ✭✭✭pigeonbutler


    ^^^^ doesn't get AH much, eh?

    Look up billy connolly's willie ferguson prank call routine for inspiration.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,488 ✭✭✭Bazzy


    or answer the phone

    Mels s€x shop


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 853 ✭✭✭Idjit


    Sounds a bit immature to me?..... If you know that people phone during school hours, just leave on your answering machine, or let it ring out?

    That would be the mature thing to do but After Hours isn't about maturity, you see. Perhaps you would be more comfortable in the Soc section?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    Answer but continuously play a recording of a standard telephone ringing tone down the line and rack up a huge phone bill for them


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Answer and play along. Preferably try to arrange a meeting for drinks. Don't go.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    Answer and play along. Preferably try to arrange a meeting for drinks. Don't go.

    If its a chick, then:

    1. Go
    2. Pretend you got stood up just like her
    3. Execute love programme #169A
    4. Rinse and repeat


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 622 ✭✭✭Chiorino


    Had a mate who used to get calls looking for the local chipper. He'd calmly take the order, then carry on with whatever he was doing. The chipper ended up getting more than a few unhappy folks through their door wondering where their dinner was.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 89,007 ✭✭✭✭JP Liz V1


    Pretend you are a politican and they will hang up straight away


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,661 ✭✭✭General Zod


    ask them if they want to talk about Jesus Christ, our lord and saviour who died for all our sins.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I got a text from a wrong number last summer, but he included his name, my name, and the name of a third party.
    He also said he was sorry he couldn't make football tonight.

    Well, boy did I have fun with that one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,956 ✭✭✭consultech


    Sounds a bit immature to me?..... If you know that people phone during school hours, just leave on your answering machine, or let it ring out?

    Yeah you're right, why use the phone line he's paying good money for to for its intended purpose on the off-chance of offending some soccer mom's sensibilities.

    Anal stick removal nesessary methinks...

    The way I see it; If you're too thick to get the dialing of a number right, then you deserve to be fucked with.

    Some great ideas so far. Personally I like the setting up meetings etc in mad places approach. Even better if you have a few teacher/principal names to hand. Or tell them their son/daughter has been nominated for student of the year.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,812 ✭✭✭mailforkev


    "Keep talking, I'm almost there"


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