Nice guys, are you one? were you one?

CDfm · 19-05-2010 06:04PM

liah wrote: »

Way to miss the point, guys :eek:

If he's being nice JUST to get her, instead of out of his own good nature, then it's a turn-off, because it's fake. Fake = lying. Lying = bad. Simple?

OK -healthy heterosexual guy gets the hots for a girl genuinely -which is what a nice guy is and then what.

(The other is a guy who you describe is not being genuine and anyone will do).

So the girl in the real nice guy situation is responsible for her own behavior what are the rules of ettiquette for her.

Relate this to buying stuff,meals,drinks,taxis, errands etc.

d'Oracle · 19-05-2010 07:36PM

liah wrote: »

Way to miss the point, guys :eek:

If he's being nice JUST to get her, instead of out of his own good nature, then it's a turn-off, because it's fake. Fake = lying. Lying = bad. Simple?

And all women are psychic and can read men like a book.
Give the hell over. Nothing is that simple.
More so if that was true, then the topic would never have come up.
I know guys who went through this same damn thing, and it happens mainly because what you say is just not true.

Abi · 19-05-2010 08:27PM

d'Oracle wrote: »

And all women are psychic and can read men like a book.
Give the hell over. Nothing is that simple.
More so if that was true, then the topic would never have come up.
I know guys who went through this same damn thing, and it happens mainly because what you say is just not true.

Shes entitled to her opinon, as are you. I don't know Liah that well as a poster, but you've been sniping at her since this :

d'Oracle wrote: »

So its not that women don't like nice guys, just that they don't like nice guys who want to have sex with them.

Nice, classy.

and you completely misread what she was saying!

Don't be so defensive. There are 'nice guys / nice girls', 'Mr / Miss assholes', and some that fall flat between the two. Sometimes it takes a relationship to discover the real person you've been seeing, and yes - some people get hurt along the way when a wrong combination get together. But thats life. Being bitter towards an entire gender would be pretty stupid if you ask me.

When it doesn't work out, learn from it and walk away with the knowledge of your mistakes made and quit winging about it.

LegacyUser · 19-05-2010 08:45PM

Reading some of the posts here have got me really thinking about my own experience. Im pretty sure that I am indeed an a**hole (in the sense that is being referred to here)

I think the original post about the nice guy turning into a bitter a**hole holds some truth and maybe there is some truth in "nice guy" just being a fake sleaze theory aswell, both hit very close to home.

I'll just give my experience and well you can take it as you want; When I was a young I was painfully nice to everyone I met, both men and women. For whatever reason I grew up thinking that being nice was the most importaqnt thing in the world and for the most part I always respressed any negative feelings i had and never expressed them openly with people. In this sense I was very 'fake'. I suppose this came from a natural teenage need to be accepted and also a lack of self confidence or social skills.

It carried over into my romantic life, I did all the "nice" things that posters have talked about here and went through all the rejections. It was very painful but i think what was most painful was that I never had the confidence to just 'be myself' with the women. I defintely always put on a 'nice guy' front. In saying that i was a nice guy deep down, I did empathise with people and I was interested in other peoples happiness but I was never 'genuine' with them. Each rejection just eroded more of my self confidence and the more myself confidence wore down the more I regressed into the 'nice guy' persona i had built up until evetually i didnt even know who I actually was anymore.

Also I was very internally conflicted, I had built women up in my head as being just generally 'nicer'than men, in the sense that men (myself included) were driven by base desires (lust) while women had more noble desires (love). I romanticed women and wanted to be a better man in order to be attractive, I wanted to be in love and had idealistic thoughts while all the time struggling with my out of control hormones which wanted sex- and therefore made me again feel inferior to women in terms of integrity.

Despite this internal conflict I did fall in love, but still I couldnt manage to genuine, i tried to control my emotions as much i could to the point where i simply wasnt interesting to my GF, she cheated on me and left me for someone else and the pain and confusion was unreal. this should have been a wake up call but instead I just put a brave face on it and contiued with my fake front. Then it happened a second time, and i kind of lost it then. I had enough of women and went partying non-stop for about 2-3 years.

During this period, although I wasnt happy, I didnt hold back what I was feeling anymore, especially to women. If a woman annoyed me I told her to shut the f**k up, if she said something stupid I ridiculed her, if she insulted me I threw it right back and got quite good at cutting remarks. I despised my former 'nice' self and I quickly got a reputation as a 'bad boy' and women did give me a lot more attention, I think they enjoyed the challenge of it, trying to get the beeter of me. I didnt chase women at all and i didnt go out of my way to be mean to them but I was on a mission to have as many wild nights as i could and if any woman in my proximity was in my opinion 'boring' I let her know very quickly. I was a total a**hole but the women who came after me couldnt get enough of it, no matter how badly I treated them. (I shudder at some of the thing sI used say and do now), but theres no doubt about it, I had women chasing me for the first time in my life.

Eventually I burned out and started to find some self esteem again. I didnt like treating people badly and I didnt like who I had become. But most importantly I didnt like the power that the pursuit of sex and love had over my life. When I looked back at the major decisions and roads i had taken whether good or bad had always revolved around women, sex and love. i had completely neglected all the other amazing things in life; art, literature, music, nature, travel, education, history, culture, political and philosophical thought. Since then I have thrown myself into experiencing new things, pushing myself to expandd my mind and experience to develop intelectually, artisically and spiritually. I am single now but I have never been more in love with life and more happy in my own skin. I treat people better aswell by neither being fake with them or overly harsh.

I was defintely the fake nice guy, then the a**hole and I still have my days but all in all I've managed to become genuine, which for me at least was a long tough journey.

d'Oracle · 19-05-2010 08:45PM

So I have been "sniping" since two posts ago?

I'm wondering where you get the idea that I am being defensive.
I'm just being realistic. There is no magical power where women get can tell if someone is just being nice to get in.

Frankly I have known a few girls who thought they could do this and its a great way to isolate yourself. Cos they usually can't and end up coming across as up themselves.

Its not an opinion thing.
And I hope you aren't implying I'm whinging about it, or lecturing me about this. Because that would need the assumption that I was "nice guy". Which I never was and you have no proper reason to assume so.

foxyboxer · 19-05-2010 09:05PM

I read this years ago and had a paradigm shift because of it.
He makes his point very well. It's a long read but worth it.

http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000371.html

Davidius · 19-05-2010 09:09PM

I'm confused by that. Women don't like it if you're feigning your nice personality in order to get sex, which makes sense. Anybody could understand that.

However I don't really see how they're able to reliably distinguish whether a man is being genuinely nice or just pretending, especially if they don't give the nice guy a chance at it. If you thought he was just faking it then why would you let him hang around with you?

Abi · 19-05-2010 09:12PM

d'Oracle wrote: »

So I have been "sniping" since two posts ago?

I didn't mean in terms of how many posts previous, I was referring to that post alone, the one where you blatantly misunderstood her.

I'm wondering where you get the idea that I am being defensive.
I'm just being realistic. There is no magical power where women get can tell if someone is just being nice to get in.

Is that a fact? You're quite the expert. What makes you think I wouldn't use you for sex? It cuts both ways.

Its not an opinion thing.

By saying that, everyone else is exempt from having one? As you put it "give the hell up"

And I hope you aren't implying I'm whinging about it, or lecturing me about this.

Of course you are. You aren't willing to discuss the issue, you've got a dose of the 'IM RIGHT, YORE WRONG's, and so fixed on your own agenda you're mis-reading other peoples posts

Because that would need the assumption that I was "nice guy". Which I never was and you have no proper reason to assume so.

And I'm certainly not "Ms Nice".

CDfm · 19-05-2010 09:38PM

Hiya Abigayle -how goes it. Nice to see you throwing your hat in the ring.:)

You are going to get polarised answers as its that type of debate.

On the ettiquette question -whats your take on it

Abi · 19-05-2010 10:10PM

CDfm wrote: »

Hiya Abigayle -how goes it. Nice to see you throwing your hat in the ring.:)

Hey there. As you do

You are going to get polarised answers as its that type of debate.

On the ettiquette question -whats your take on it

This:

Abigayle wrote: »

There has to be a good balance tbh. I wouldn't be able to stick a guy who would follow me around like a lapdog, spouting nicities, and in constant contact. That would bore the shit out of me tbh. I'd never go for a straight forward Mr Nice Guy, because I'll be the first to admit that I'm not all sweetness and light myself. I look out for people I care about, but I have my flaws, and certainly don't pretend to be something I'm not.

A guy that can do the same = win in my eyes.

For the record, I sit firmly on the fence on this one. But I can't abide threads that turn into gender wars, when gender has nothing to do with it from where I'm standing. There are female equivilants to this 'Mr Nice guy' or Mr Asshole'. But I won't sit at the edge of the ring and watch women be all but called morons for choosing the wrong guy, and referred to as stuck up etc. Or while its claimed 'all men want is in our knickers'. All I can see are bad combinations and lashing out on the opposite gender. That solves nothing.

d'Oracle · 19-05-2010 11:12PM

Abigayle wrote: »

Is that a fact? You're quite the expert. What makes you think I wouldn't use you for sex? It cuts both ways.

I find multi quote wanky and don't do it.

So I will just pick that bit out as its the most outrageous example of you doing exactly what you think I am doing.

You wouldn't use me for sex because I am in a 10 year monogamous relationship with woman whom I love, respect and admire. Chances are I would probably have a chat with you and then **** off home.

But that said, where the hell is that coming from anyway? Its as if you are trying to make out that I'm some sort of misogynist, which is offensive to me. Seems like you might actually be the one with the agenda.

I have literally no idea where you are going with the rest of that.
Expert? WTF?

Women do not have a magical power to tell whether or not someone is being nice to get it. You know why I said that? Cos Nobody does.

I said its not an opinion because usually when someone weighs in and starts piping up about opinions its because they want to devalue someone elses. That is to say, you agree with Liah so you went on the attack against me trying to devalue my contribution with the old O Bomb.

My Opinion is that what Liah was saying, (i.e. that women somehow know when a guy is being fake and get turned off) is bull****. If someones opinion is bull**** I will tell them. Someone can express the opinion that Brian Cowen is actually the dalai Lamas girlfriend its doesn't make it not bull****.

I base this on the number of blokes I know well (some of them friends) who have had a LOT of success on the pull, treat women like dirt generally but are REALLY nice to girls when they are on the pull. They just happen to be attractive lads.

Me, thinking back a few years now, I was always a decent sort who was fairly nice to girls regardless of if I wanted to do the dance or not. On the pull I was genuinely nice and less attractive (no bitterness) they were attractive and Fake nice. Guess who had more success with the girls?

Also, I'm not sure the topic had a "Ms Nice". Did you read the first post?

I think I have covered that all.

Edit: I just read your other post. I think it makes some of the other stuff make sense.
Again I think it underlines your agenda, so stuck in it that you tried to wage war on a gender war that was not there.
I could be wrong though, about your agenda.

TitoPuente · 19-05-2010 11:54PM

Davidius wrote: »

However I don't really see how they're able to reliably distinguish whether a man is being genuinely nice or just pretending

It's very easy. The less attractive, witty, successful and wealthy one is the one that's pretending whereas the better looking, funnier, more successful and richer one is the one that's genuine. Simples.

Wibbs · 20-05-2010 12:21AM

d'Oracle wrote: »

So I will just pick that bit out as its the most outrageous example of you doing exactly what you think I am doing.

You wouldn't use me for sex because I am in a 10 year monogamous relationship with woman whom I love, respect and admire. Chances are I would probably have a chat with you and then **** off home.

Fair play, though in this context more like bully for you.. Defensive, over projection and hardly germane to the debate.

Women do not have a magical power to tell whether or not someone is being nice to get it. You know why I said that? Cos Nobody does.

Unless you've lived under a rock, male or female can generally spot overt moves to get into your pants. Sometimes its welcome, sometimes its not. Often it may be subconscious but you still know somethings afoot. Or you should do if you're in your 20's.

My Opinion is that what Liah was saying, (i.e. that women somehow know when a guy is being fake and get turned off) is bull****. If someones opinion is bull**** I will tell them. Someone can express the opinion that Brian Cowen is actually the dalai Lamas girlfriend its doesn't make it not bull****.

hardly comparing like with like there ted. Plus like you said yourself the fake attractive guys still pull. Doesnt mean the women dont know hes fake. They usually do, but they've got the horn for him. Or worse they think they can change him. Just like Mr Nice Guy.

Me, thinking back a few years now, I was always a decent sort who was fairly nice to girls regardless of if I wanted to do the dance or not. On the pull I was genuinely nice and less attractive (no bitterness) they were attractive and Fake nice. Guess who had more success with the girls?

Oh sure, I agree. People do talk a lot of BS about how its the personality more than the looks(and social standing) and yes I have found women are often more prone to do this(or less "prone" if you're a munter). Again mainy because women have more choice, especially younger women. Much in the same way a man is more likely to take shíte from a woman he considers "out of his league" than he will from a plainer woman. Defo agree there.

Also, I'm not sure the topic had a "Ms Nice". Did you read the first post?

They're usually the other side of the same coin. Ms Nice usually is a booty call hoping for more emotional attention. She's in Bonkzone(tm). Mr Nice gives up emotional attention hoping for a booty call. Hes in Friendzone(tm). Both are lying to themselves and the other person. They both usually couch their situation in romantic terms. Both are on a hiding to nothing.

Mr or Ms Nice. Its really simple. For Mr Nice? If you're offering a shoulder to cry on and you want more, then the rest of her anatomy should be in play or scrape her off. Ms Nice? If you're offering the rest of your anatomy, then his shoulder should be in play, or scrape him off. To both. Giving more of yourself without thinking of your own needs is daft. Just stop. There are billions of shoulders and billions of booty's out there. Neither are rare. Pick another one.

Abi · 20-05-2010 12:50AM

d'Oracle wrote: »

I find multi quote wanky and don't do it.

That is a pity, because I find that when an individual decides to break down your quote, they care about the issue at hand, and tend to have something to add to the issue.

So I will just pick that bit out as its the most outrageous example of you doing exactly what you think I am doing.

/waves crazy hands

You wouldn't use me for sex because I am in a 10 year monogamous relationship with woman whom I love, respect and admire. Chances are I would probably have a chat with you and then **** off home.

I made a gender comparitive comment, because you are into that. Don't get your hopes up.

But that said, where the hell is that coming from anyway? Its as if you are trying to make out that I'm some sort of misogynist, which is offensive to me. Seems like you might actually be the one with the agenda.

Reverse psychology.

I have literally no idea where you are going with the rest of that.
Expert? WTF?

Fluff?

Women do not have a magical power to tell whether or not someone is being nice to get it. You know why I said that? Cos Nobody does.

You keep repeating this, and it astounds me. I'm fairly certain of my abilities to pick up on bullshit.

I said its not an opinion because usually when someone weighs in and starts piping up about opinions its because they want to devalue someone elses. That is to say, you agree with Liah so you went on he attack against me trying to devalue my contribution with the old O Bomb.

If you had paid any attention whatsoever to the thread, rather than going of on a badly disguised 'women are bitches' rant, you might have noticed that mine and Liah's opinions differed somewhat. I'll leave that one with you.

My Opinion is that what Liah was saying, (i.e. that women somehow know when a guy is being fake and get turned off) is bull****. If someones opinion is bull**** I will tell them. Someone can express the opinion that Brian Cowen is actually the dalai Lamas girlfriend its doesn't make it not bull****.

Brian Cowen? What?

Me, thinking back a few years now, I was always a decent sort who was fairly nice to girls regardless of if I wanted to do the dance or not. On the pull I was genuinely nice and less attractive (no bitterness) they were attractive and Fake nice. Guess who had more success with the girls?

Now we're talking. But some of us do actually see the 'Fake nice'.

Also, I'm not sure the topic had a "Ms Nice". Did you read the first post?

I brought 'Ms Nice' into it actually, because I felt it was relevant. 'Nice' and 'Asshole' comes in two genders.

Edit: I just read your other post. I think it makes some of the other stuff make sense.
Again I think it underlines your agenda, so stuck in it that you tried to wage war on a gender war that was not there.
I could be wrong though, about your agenda.

I don't have one. As I said earlier, I sit firmly on the fence.

Tar.Aldarion · 20-05-2010 07:09AM

I'm pretty sure being nice and sick in the head is the best combo. Sounds familiar :pac:

That was a good post by Thaed.

nkay1985 · 20-05-2010 07:45AM

i've become slightly confused in the last rush of posts there so a question fror the ladies: do you, as a woman, believe that a guy can be genuinely nice but still want to get into your pants?

I'm presuming that the unanimous answer to that is yes. It doesn't have to be a ploy; a guy can be genuinely nice but if he's a hetrosexual male, there's a good chance he will be attracted to you and even greater chance of this if the two of you have a good connectoin as friends.

I don't doubt that there are guys out there who act like the nice guy with the sole intention of getting their end away but I can't imagine that they're in the majority or anything like it.

TitoPuente · 20-05-2010 07:47AM

nkay1985 wrote: »

i've become slightly confused in the last rush of posts there so a question fror the ladies: do you, as a woman, believe that a guy can be genuinely nice but still want to get into your pants?

I'm presuming that the unanimous answer to that is yes. It doesn't have to be a ploy; a guy can be genuinely nice but if he's a hetrosexual male, there's a good chance he will be attracted to you and even greater chance of this if the two of you have a good connectoin as friends.

I don't doubt that there are guys out there who act like the nice guy with the sole intention of getting their end away but I can't imagine that they're in the majority or anything like it.

As I said before:

It's very easy. The less attractive, witty, successful and wealthy one is the one that's pretending whereas the better looking, funnier, more successful and richer one is the one that's genuine.

A lot of women just don't want to admit they're shallow so demonise men they don't fancy.

d'Oracle · 20-05-2010 07:52AM

Abigayle wrote: »

I made a gender comparitive comment, because you are into that. Don't get your hopes up.

.

Again.
I didn't.
You perceived that I did, but I was actually reacting to one.

liah wrote:

Women love nice guys. Legitimately nice guys. Not once who are only nice to get into our pants. That's the difference, imo.

Your response was to jump in and accuse me of being defensive.

But I can see you are hell bent on making me out to be a jerk, which is cool I'm not bothered its only the internet, I have probably stoked your ego enough.

d'Oracle · 20-05-2010 07:57AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Fair play, though in this context more like bully for you.. Defensive, over projection and hardly germane to the debate.

Wibbs, banging on about using someone for sex, at random as far as I can see, certainly given what I was saying anyway, sets an odd pretext one I'm not overly comfortable with.

But If I am being defensive, overprotective and hardly germane to the debate, what in the name of god is the comment that it was in response to?

Abigayle wrote:

What makes you think I wouldn't use you for sex? It cuts both ways.

Relevant, balanced and inclusive?

Also if I take your point on having "the know" and just having the horn for him, (and I do) does that not still make the initial comment that i called BS on BS, being that liah called it a major turnoff for women?

G-Money · 20-05-2010 08:31AM

I think it's easy to confuse "wanting to get into someone's pants" with "only wanting to get into someones pants and nothing more". Assuming we're all relatively healthy both mentally and physically, it would be slightly weird if you weren't interested in getting into someone's pants who you fancy. For me this is normal. It doesn't mean you aren't willing to wait or aren't wanting a relationship or something. It just means you are human with a normal sex drive.

I think the distinction needs to be made as some people only want sex and then want to f*** off the next morning or whatever. I think this is what can bother quite a few people.

Abi · 20-05-2010 08:52AM

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

I'm pretty sure being nice and sick in the head is the best combo. Sounds familiar :pac:

Agreed

How you doin'

nkay1985 wrote: »

i've become slightly confused in the last rush of posts there so a question fror the ladies: do you, as a woman, believe that a guy can be genuinely nice but still want to get into your pants?

I'm presuming that the unanimous answer to that is yes.

And here lies part of the problem. The presumption that all women have the same attitude wouldn't be right. I don't think every 'nice guy' is trying to get into a womans knickers. But if a woman has experienced a faker, she has every right to be wary. Some are capable of picking up on it, and some are not.

d'Oracle wrote: »

Your response was to jump in and accuse me of being defensive.

But I can see you are hell bent on making me out to be a jerk, which is cool I'm not bothered its only the internet, I have probably stoked your ego enough.

I am not trying to make you out to be a jerk, I'm merely trying to get you to look at this from another perspective. Sure what would I have to gain from that? It's not my style.

d'Oracle wrote: »

Also if I take your point on having "the know" and just having the horn for him, (and I do) does that not still make the initial comment that i called BS on BS, being that liah called it a major turnoff for women?

I'm not sure I follow tbh. But Liah seems to have different preferences in a guy than I do.

Like men, we not only come in different shapes and sizes, but attitudes also.

minidazzler · 20-05-2010 09:19AM

TitoPuente wrote: »

It's very easy. The less attractive, witty, successful and wealthy one is the one that's pretending whereas the better looking, funnier, more successful and richer one is the one that's genuine. Simples.

TitoPuente wrote: »

A lot of women just don't want to admit they're shallow so demonise men they don't fancy.

But that's kinda bull TBH, It's the less than attractive guys who are told they are "really nice guys" but that they aren't liked in that way.

If a guy is less than attractive, not funny or wealthy with no measure of success, then for what reason would someone be attracted to him? Just because someone is a nice guy doesn't mean they deserve a girl.

It's not shallow to not be attracted to someone physically, I will admit, there are alot of women I am not attracted to because of their outward characteristics. I'm not being shallow, I am just not physically or sexually attracted to them.

In my experience it's the better looking guys with everything going for them who PRETEND.....for a while at least.

Wibbs · 20-05-2010 10:05AM

TitoPuente wrote: »

A lot of women just don't want to admit they're shallow so demonise men they don't fancy.

I would agree that happens. I'd agree with minidazzlers take on the reasons why. Plus if you act like a doormat, male or female, you're more likely to get walked on. So one often feeds the other.

grandmaster wrote: »

I think it's easy to confuse "wanting to get into someone's pants" with "only wanting to get into someones pants and nothing more". Assuming we're all relatively healthy both mentally and physically, it would be slightly weird if you weren't interested in getting into someone's pants who you fancy. For me this is normal. It doesn't mean you aren't willing to wait or aren't wanting a relationship or something. It just means you are human with a normal sex drive.

I think the distinction needs to be made as some people only want sex and then want to f*** off the next morning or whatever. I think this is what can bother quite a few people.

+1 primarily you're attracted to someone sexually. Men and women do this. For all the other stuff that's what it boils down to. Take a gay chap. He meets a gorgeous woman, with an amazing personality. He's not gonna marry her is he?

It's how this comes out that makes the diff. If its unbalanced on one side or gets outa sequence then people back off.

Feeona · 20-05-2010 10:41AM

Davidius wrote: »

However I don't really see how they're able to reliably distinguish whether a man is being genuinely nice or just pretending, especially if they don't give the nice guy a chance at it. If you thought he was just faking it then why would you let him hang around with you?

Sometimes you can't distinguish nice guys from Nice Guys. You get burned and you learn to keep away from Nice Guys, you learn to read the signs. The trick is to not be bitter about it, or to assume it's never going to work out for you. Much like learning to do anything really!

As to hanging out with someone who's faking....have you ever had to endure sitting beside a bore (male or female) at a wedding, they're the sort who would flip if you told them to feck off, you've dropped all the hints, yet they still continue to sit there telling you about the time the salesperson in Harvey Normans looked at them in a funny way? We've all come across those people, and we've all had to be polite in the hope they'll eventually fade away.

I think the female version of the Nice Guy is a girl who lets a man walk all over her and use her in the hope that she can change him! End result is that 'all men are b*stards':rolleyes:. Very few men would entertain such bitterness towards the male gender, and similarly, very few women entertain bitterness towards the female gender either.

Good to see both sides on this, food for thought

ash23 · 20-05-2010 10:46AM

As a woman, I want a guy who will be thoughtful and considerate, respectful and loving. However I also want a man who will tell me to cop on when I'm being an ass and who will speak his mind (through a filter). Someone who will be honest and mildly challenging. Someone who will be interesting.

I've been with doormats and it's infuriating.
It starts with their inability to make a simple decision. The line "whatever you like darling" starts to grate after a while. He shouldn't have a monopoly on decisions but nor should he take a back seat in everything from where we eat to what we do to where we go on holidays.

It then becomes a test. And most girls will start to see how far they can push him before he reacts. A nice guy with backbone will not be pushed too far before he tells you to get over yourself. He gets angry, you apologise profusely and balance is restored.
A nice guy aka doormat will allow you to push and push and never react, just take it like the doormat he is and slowly but surely the girl loses any respect she had and after treating him like crap for a bit, she dumps him.

So nice guy gets bitter and decides he has to be Mr. Aggressive Arsehole in order to get a girl when all he actually needs to do is retain the niceness but build his confidence and self worth.

It works the other way too for nice girls and doormats.

I consider myself to be a very nice girl. I enjoy doing things that make other people happy. I'm there for people when needed. I will go out of my way to do a favour for someone. But by jaysus, don't cross me :mad:

d'Oracle · 20-05-2010 10:52AM

Abigayle wrote: »

Like men, we not only come in different shapes and sizes, but attitudes also.

Which is fair enough, and kind of underlines why I reacted to Liah.
Her posts looked a lot like "women are only looking for genuinely nice guys"
And "women get turned off by fake nice guys".

If she had said "I (meaning Liah) like nice guys who are actually nice guys, and dislike fake nice guys" I would have commended her for it.

But she didn't, she made a gender based generalisation. I responded , its not a matter of perspective or opinion, generalisations like that i.e. all women can tell when a fella is being fake to pull and are turned off are in my opinion BS. Not only do I know fellas who do it, but I know girls, good friends, who fall for it every time. AND vice versa.

You assumed I was making gender based generalisations when I wasn't, argument ensued.

Snowie · 20-05-2010 10:53AM

Abigayle wrote: »

But I won't sit at the edge of the ring and watch women be all but called morons for choosing the wrong guy, and referred to as stuck up etc. Or while its claimed 'all men want is in our knickers'. All I can see are bad combinations and lashing out on the opposite gender. That solves nothing.

Thats what anoys me I dont do one night stands, more so for my own reasons. There not good for me... I just cant handle the hole thing Im the type who'd climb out a balconey

I cant look at a woman and go yep id bone her because simply im not the kinda guy who likes the woman to lie there and think of england :pac:. Thats plain boring, yet women from experence seem to think that what all men want.. Who can blame them majority of men weather where good bad nice evil/ saints have all wanted to get into some poor girls nickers and then fanished like a virgin on a debs night.

yeah its worng but women have there fair share of taking advantage, of the boys lap doggy, behavour and aloud them to run around after them like headless chicken... But thats how we all learn, but unfortunatly the past affects us some people are intelgent enough to go okey not every person is going to try suck the life out of me me but unfotunatly theres a lot of idiots out there who seem to think that...

I personally think where all as bad as each other in some way or another, Some girls lead guys on but they don't! the guy leads him self on to.
One of those things...

I genrally have figured out to thing's.. One Im suited to older women genrally they have better tastes when it comes to food etc, and to seem to be way easyer to talk to

.

CDfm · 20-05-2010 11:26AM

minidazzler wrote: »

If a guy is less than attractive, not funny or wealthy with no measure of success, then for what reason would someone be attracted to him? Just because someone is a nice guy doesn't mean they deserve a girl.

Maybe you can't afford one.

Women marry down in the USA and it does not seem to be an "alpha female" thing or a status symbol "arm candy" thing but maybe with the income shift they feel they can afford too.

Women marrying men with less education, income
(News Today) - After earning her Ph.D. in political science, Yazmine Watts, 33, is proud to be called doctor. Her voice gushes when she shares her experiences globe-trotting on prestigious grants.

Now, she performs intelligence work for the government, a job that carries a salary twice as much as her husband's, a warehouse supervisor.

There is a saying that love conquers all, and for Watts that means Laurent Sagna's salary and job status are inconsequential. She said she adores her 39-year-old blue-collar partner -- who only completed high school -- for the way he listens, for his affectionate hugs and musical talents. Watts ignored her mother's concerns about his "financial prospects" when they married a few years ago.

"I've met and dated plenty of people with Ph.D.s, and it doesn't mean they are smarter," said Watts, who lives in North Carolina. "He might not have the degree, but he's got a lot of talent."

Academic and workplace strides among women are outpacing those of men in the United States and the gains are affecting who educated women marry, sociologists say. Studies find women are marrying men with less education. The income balance is shifting in American households.

http://news-terupdate.blogspot.com/2010/05/women-marrying-men-with-less-education.html

I haven't posted the whole article but it is not a new thing.Some time after the famine times/american civil war some of my crew went off to New Orleans and married into black families and the women married down.

I had some very amusing emails with a black lady in the US a few years back about her name and slave name stuff only that if her ancestor had married a black he would have at least had a trade.My fathers uncle emigrated in the 1920's and knew them and some went down to South America.

Maybe I have a rapper gene :eek:

ash23 · 20-05-2010 12:02PM

minidazzler wrote: »

If a guy is less than attractive, not funny or wealthy with no measure of success, then for what reason would someone be attracted to him? Just because someone is a nice guy doesn't mean they deserve a girl.

I think that the bit I've put in bold is the crucial bit.

I have adored men who aren't attractive and who aren't wealthy or successful because of their confidence, sense of humour and yes, their niceness.

If a guy is dull as dishwater and ugly to boot then it's going to be his lack of personality that results in his lack of success with the laydeez.

Honestly, nobody is going to be attracted to a man who is unattractive, unsuccessful and BLAND in personality just because he is nice.

However a lot of women will fall for an unattractive, unsuccesful man who is nice but is also interesting, funny and confident.

Snowie · 20-05-2010 12:13PM

Xiney wrote: »

Do quit whining to the nice girls about the bitch who dates the bad boy. It's all a little too ironic.

Go listen to Fred Durst, then youle hear Whiney.

Biggist wine bag EVER

Nice guys, are you one? were you one?

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