Men (and shameless women) - Best Things To Do While Doing a Number 2?

speedboatchase · 2010-05-11 16:05:55

Yes AH is getting pretty scatalogical - apologies. But the shower peeing thread had me wondering, what are the most heroic things you've done while dropping the kids off at the pool? Me personally I've: - Read a magazine (obv) - Brushed my teeth (efficient) - Drank coffee (super relaxing) Pretty tame I guess, where am I…

11-05-2010 05:05PM

#1

speedboatchase

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Yes AH is getting pretty scatalogical - apologies. But the shower peeing thread had me wondering, what are the most heroic things you've done while dropping the kids off at the pool? Me personally I've:

- Read a magazine (obv)
- Brushed my teeth (efficient)
- Drank coffee (super relaxing)

Pretty tame I guess, where am I going wrong here?

2

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#2 11-05-2010 05:08PM

Gordon

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Took a shower while on it once and play guitar sometimes. I think I even filled out part of my mortgage application on the bog.

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#3 11-05-2010 05:08PM

Renn

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nvm

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#4 11-05-2010 05:09PM

minidazzler

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Read the shampoo bottle.

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#5 11-05-2010 05:09PM

Renn

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I presume this is common enough but I've often used my laptop too.

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#6 11-05-2010 05:11PM

Fago!

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minidazzler wrote: »

Read the shampoo bottle.

heh heh

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#7 11-05-2010 05:11PM

minidazzler

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Renn wrote: »

I presume this is common enough but I've often used my laptop too.

That explains your sh1tty posts.....:D

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#8 11-05-2010 05:13PM

Renn

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Zing!

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#9 11-05-2010 05:15PM

mailforkev

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The iPod Touch is nicknamed the iPoo in our house as it's toilet time internet a lot of the time.

Back in first or second year in school one of my friends told us all how he used to do a shite whilst eating his corn flakes to save time in the mornings. The worst thing is that he was genuinely proud that he could get up 2 or 3 minutes later.

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#10 11-05-2010 05:15PM

abouttobebanned

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iphone.

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#11 11-05-2010 05:15PM

Fallen Buckshot

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Light some incense light up a Doob and read High Times :P in preperation for shower and shave of course .. ahh the 3 S's ****e shave and shower

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#12 11-05-2010 05:17PM

marcjacobs

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My boyfriend is really weird when it comes to that...
He likes to stay in the bathroom for hours.
In the dark, apparently it's more "relaxing"
Watching videos or listening to music on his iphone.
Whenever he goes at work, he talks to me on facebook chat (groooossss aha)
Playing guitar AND singing.
Brings the laptop and watch the football game when it's on.

He used to eat fudge/popsicles in the shower and leave the sticks around.. but that's another topic.
:rolleyes:

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#13 11-05-2010 05:17PM

Silverfish

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iPhone. It's changed the way I poop.

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#14 11-05-2010 05:18PM

SugarHigh

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Some amazing stories being shared in this thread.

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#15 11-05-2010 05:19PM

Gi joe!

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When inter-railing my friend sometimes ate his dinner while taking a dump.

Must give it a try some time.

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#16 11-05-2010 05:20PM

speedboatchase

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marcjacobs wrote: »

My boyfriend is really weird when it comes to that...
He likes to stay in the bathroom for hours.
In the dark, apparently it's more "relaxing"
Watching videos or listening to music on his iphone.
Whenever he goes at work, he talks to me on facebook chat (groooossss aha)
Playing guitar AND singing.
Brings the laptop and watch the football game when it's on.

He used to eat fudge/popsicles in the shower and leave the sticks around.. but that's another topic.
:rolleyes:

Ehh?

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#17 11-05-2010 05:21PM

Fago!

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Silverfish wrote: »

iPhone. It's changed the way I poop.

Yeap! The good oul I-Pood!

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#18 11-05-2010 05:28PM

Cool_CM

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A thread about taking a sh1t that wasn't started by FlutteringBantam?

:eek:

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#19 11-05-2010 05:31PM

no1beemerfan

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Jeebus....some of ye must have problems if it takes that long! I'm usually in and out in a min or two not much time to do anything else!

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#20 11-05-2010 05:34PM

marcjacobs

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Hahahahaha,
not really for HOURS, I might have exaggerated a little.
and he likes to turn the light off, because apparently it's more relaxing.
He showers in the dark as well ahahaha.
Oh god, he's gonna kill me when he reads this thread!

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#21 11-05-2010 05:35PM

speedboatchase

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Oh dear... just remembered this - dont judge:

I actually ate a full plate of pasta last week on the toilet

:cool:

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#22 11-05-2010 05:44PM

Mars Bar

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I delete old messages in the inbox on my phone...

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#23 11-05-2010 05:46PM

Sergeant

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If I feel there is the potential to be a substantial bolus, then I will use the opportunity to catch up on some reading, my current porcelain throne book of choice is The Prince by Machiavelli.

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#24 11-05-2010 05:49PM

Sea Sharp

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brush teeth and or shave.

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#25 11-05-2010 05:49PM

dermothickey

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The best thing to do IMO when having a dump is just relax

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#26 11-05-2010 05:52PM

Alkers

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Sit backwards AC Slater style. Involves talking off your trousers and jocks completely but it's worth it.

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#27 11-05-2010 05:54PM

mp3kid

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abouttobebanned wrote: »

iphone.

There's an (cr)App for that.

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#28 11-05-2010 05:59PM

Scarydoll

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Eating and pooing at the same time is disgusting!!!!!!!

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#29 11-05-2010 06:03PM

karlog

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Flumpy....................

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#30 11-05-2010 06:06PM

FlutterinBantam

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Cool_CM wrote: »

A thread about taking a sh1t that wasn't started by FlutteringBantam?

:eek:

Hi! :rolleyes:

I like to get down to business without too much distraction.

Usually I eat plenty of Stafford's wholemeal brown and thus,there is no 'ignition time' as it were.

Usually when I visit the cludgie, and cover the claypit, there is a round in the breech and ready to fire.

No time for shilly shally,Ipods,lappies, newspapers,crosswords,Spangle mags,no, it's spool up the badge and unload!

Baton round usually exits the muzzle and lodges in the pan, further pressure on the firing mechanism clears the magazine of any buckshot remaining.

Remove any clag or spent round from the muzzle, and dispose of the live spoil.

That's it, no fcuking around, no jiggy jiggy, no messing, fire and forget!!

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#31 11-05-2010 06:26PM

Giselle

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speedboatchase wrote: »

Oh dear... just remembered this - dont judge:

I actually ate a full plate of pasta last week on the toilet

:cool:

And an unhealthy amount of e-coli spores were ingested along with the pasta.

Yeeuuuccch.:(

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